Chapter 29: Anomalous Weather Detected

Zako's boot tapped on the deck in impatience as he waited outside his room. The ponies had taken their sweet time in the women's bathroom, and their individual showers in his private bathroom were taking even longer. Zako wanted to get back to his routine, but he had to look out for the pony aliens first. Besides, he was still tired from his adventure on the Ishimura. It was best not to overdue it. A few times throughout the Clone Wars, Zako thought too highly of himself, and it always came back to bite him in the ass. And as he remembered, he was being an ass recently. He'd be dead if it weren't for the others. He could help them out for a bit.

And it wasn't as if Zako could just pass the ponies off on Yayap or Krunch either. Both the unggoy and the slig were in no better condition than he was. The pair was sleeping on the floor off to Zako's side.

The door to his room opened and the three ponies walked out.

"You guys take forever for a bunch of aliens that don't wear any clothes. Ready to go?" Zako turned to the ponies.

"Go where?" Vinyl asked.

"I don't know. We're still trying to figure that out."

"Yeah, we're ready," Rainbow yawned.

"Wake up, you two lazy bones." Zako nudged Yayap in the arm with his boot. The unggoy awoke and forced Krunch to wake up.

"What's with the hat?" Lyra noticed Zako's new clothes, a dull gray officer's uniform with black gloves and boots polished so hard they looked like they were made out of black metal.

"It's my officer's hat."

"Can I try it on?"

"No."

"Awww," Lyra moaned. "You're no fun."

"And you're annoying," Zako shot back.

"And I'm hungry," Krunch added. "And sleepy… Can I go back to bed?"

"No."

The group wandered through the halls of the Scrapyard until they reached the mess hall.

"Yayap, you stay here and watch Krunch and the ponies. I need to go see what we're doing with them." Zako craned his neck from side to side.

"Right, right…" The unggoy was barely paying attention, focused instead on going over for some food.

Zako projected a holographic image of the pilot battle droid KJZ-8267 out of his cybernetic eye.

"Has that shuttle come in yet?"

"Negative. There has been no trace of the shuttle you described." The violet-colored hologram answered.

Lyra shook her head and rolled her eyes. Zako was projecting talking images out of his eyeball, and yet he claimed he wasn't magic. She just didn't get it.

"Something's gone wrong. They should be here by now… shockspace isn't that slow. Unless… let's see. Clarke, Chic, Chen, Vincent, Temple, Cross." Zako counted off the names on his fingers. "I think they were all earthers on that shuttle. Maybe they ditched out on meeting us at Oddworld and went to Earth or one of its colonies."

"That is a possibility," KJZ-8267 said.

"Dammit. They had Commander Cadigan. We needed him for questioning."

The holographic projection fizzled away.

"What's up, Karl?" Rainbow walked over to Zako.

"Oh, just our earther friends from the other shuttle ditched us completely."

"What else would you expect from earthers?" Yayap sucked the blended food from the FPA affixed his mask. "A sense of loyalty?"

"They seemed alright to me…" Lyra trailed off. She wondered why Yayap was being so harsh about them.

Commander Zako was given an update via his wireless connection to the Separatist Droid Network. The droids were summoning him. He knew what that meant—they were about to head off into another battle… again. Zako didn't mind fighting one bit, but they had been through quite a lot recently with not much breathing room in-between.

"I'll be back." Zako turned to leave.

"Kaaaarrrlll, where are you going?" Lyra whined. "Don't'cha wanna stay and eat breakfast with us?"

"I gotta go do some stuff. I'll see you later." Zako paused, then thought of something that might occupy the ponies… and entertain himself. "Krunch, take off your pants."

"No."

"Do it! For the ponies!"

"No!"

"I order you to remove your pants!"

Vinyl giggled.

"Fine," the slig acquiesced.

Krunch removed the two wiry hoses connecting his mask to his pants. Then, with one great push, he popped himself off of his metal legs.

The ponies stood, mouths agape, in shocked silence as the slig started crawling around on the floor with his hands.

"There, happy?" Krunch grumbled.

"Yes." Zako chuckled as he saw the ponies' expressions.

"You have no legs!" Lyra finally realized this is what was bothering her when she had healed Krunch back on the Ishimura, Krunch's lower body wasn't real, or wasn't natural anyway.

"And you don't got no fingers. So whose the real freak?" Krunch replied with a hint of annoyance. He went back and popped his metal pants back on and started the process of reconnecting his hoses to his mask.

"Alright. I'll see you guys a little later." With Zako gone, the three ponies, the slig and the unggoy sat down to eat breakfast. Unfortunately for the ponies, the same bland food they were subject to the night before was once again provided.

"Where is everypony else?" Vinyl asked as they started eating.

"I dunno," Yayap shrugged. "They're around somewhere. Maybe still sleeping."

"This is gonna get really old quick if all food is as bad as this stuff," Rainbow said right before starting on the agonizing process of chewing on an apple.

Lyra curled her hoof around a glass of water and lifted it up for a drink.

"How do you ponies do that?" Yayap asked.

"Do what?" Lyra asked.

"Hold stuff without fingers."

"I dunno. We just do."

"Weird." Yayap shook his head. He figured he was better off giving up trying to make sense of the pony aliens.

"Says the alien who can't breathe the air," Vinyl countered.

"Can we get other kinds of food? Please?" Rainbow asked as she saw Krunch chow down on a paramite pie.

"We'd have to see what the doctors say," Yayap stopped sucking down his food long enough to answer. "You'll just have to wait and ask Commander Zako about it later. They don't pay me enough to deal with this crap."

"What crap?" Lyra raised an eyebrow.

"Weird aliens that pop out of nowhere. I mostly just shoot things. This stuff is above my pay grade."

"Aren't we friends?" Lyra asked.

"Sure. But I'm lost as to what to do about anything regarding you ponies. Zako and the others can figure something out."

"So, how did you guys sleep?" Vinyl asked, trying to think of something new and positive to talk about.

"Very good," Yayap answered. "Unggoy and sligs are professional sleepers."

"Yeah, we're great at sleeping," Krunch concurred.

"What do you think of this place?" Yayap asked.

"Better than the last place," Rainbow gave up eating apples and switched to pears. "You know, the one with all the dead human alien things that kept trying to kill us."

"Why are you so weird?" Krunch asked the ponies, the slig was unable to drop the previous conversation topic.

Vinyl glared at the slig. "You're the weird one! You walk around on metal stilts!"

"That's normal."

"Not to us," Vinyl replied.

"You're weird for not think'n it's normal," Krunch accused.

Vinyl and Krunch stared each other down for a second before both started to break into laughter. To be weird was such a great thing, normal people were boring, and led boring lives.


On the Scrapyard's bridge, pilot battle droids went about their various tasks. There was a lot of work involved in running a ship as large as the Scrapyard, even when the ship's main computer streamlined and automated many of the processes. The unending stream of tedious work would make anyone crazy, and droids were no exception. Battle droids loved to fight more than anything else, even the ones programming for piloting vehicles and aircraft. So the droid crews were routinely cycled through so that no one group of droids faced the monotonous burden on their own. Though Commander OOM-8 found himself on board command bridges more often than most.

OOM-8 was General OOM-9's direct predecessor, though that really didn't mean much. OOM-8 and OOM-9 were about as close as two droids could be. That was why their talents had been split, OOM-9 tended to lead the ground campaigns while OOM-8 commanded the space forces. Though the battle droids of the Confederacy were an easy going lot. OOM-8 and OOM-9 could switch roles just as easily or work together on a single field of battle. In the end, it really didn't matter that much for battle droids, the Separatist Droid Network kept them all linked and updated with what was going on anyway. Separation between military branches and ranks were largely for the benefit of the organics, droids had no need of such distinctions.

Organics, nearly everything the droids did revolved around them. They fought against them; they protected them. The life of a battle droid would certainly be dull without them. At the moment, OOM-8 was waiting for a transmission from a certain organic being, a very important organic being. What was about to transpire was more a task for someone such as the Separatist Senator Zok Zuuk, but time was short and OOM-8 could handle it on his own.

"Transmission coming in," one of the crewmen blandly stated.

A high-quality image of a human male appeared before on the large vidscreen before OOM-8.

"Councilor Udina, I am Commander OOM-8 of the 8th Fleet of the Confederacy of Independent Systems."

"Yes, I was told I would be dealing with a droid." Udina held up a clenched fist in front of his mouth, giving the appearance that he was deep in thought.

"It is not the Confederacy's intention to cause offense. But the demands of the war have kept our political leadership preoccupied at the moment."

"The Systems Alliance is not offended," Udina assured the droid. "Not by the Confederacy, at any rate."

"So, I assume that the footage we've provided as been reviewed?" OOM-8 got right to the point.

"Yes, we've compared the footage you've provided with the feed from our own recorders. There is no doubt that a Republic ship fired upon the Sulaco during the battle over Oddworld. And Republic infantry also attacked our APC."

"And how does the Systems Alliance intend to respond?" OOM-8 asked.

"With caution and cooler heads. The Republic has caused us no permanent damage, but their transgressions cannot be ignored. Nor will they be tolerated again. The matter will be brought up for debate with the rest the Citadel Council."

"The Confederacy respects your wisdom and restraint," OOM-8 lied. He would have much preferred the Systems Alliance, and the Citadel, declare open war on the Galactic Republic immediately. But OOM-8 understood that such things take time.

"Thank you. Now, on to the other matter… the recent activity on Canalus."

"Yes. We accept your proposal to strike at the geth immediately in a joint operation."

"Good. The Sulaco will accompany you to Canalus and Lieutenant Gorman will do everything in his power to assist you in this matter."

"The Confederacy accepts this arrangement. Between the battle droids and the Colonial Marines, the geth do not stand a chance."

"It is decided then. Good luck to you."

The transmission cut out. OOM-8 set out orders to the rest of the 8th Fleet. They were going to move out once again. Though Udina's response (or lack thereof) to the Republic's attacks left a lot to be desired. But OOM-8 and OOM-9 had no idea the Republic had been planning to attack Oddworld. The joint operation to exterminate the xenomorphs was supposed to be a stepping-stone to a more powerful alliance with the Citadel. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, at an accelerated rate even since Republic troops had accidently fired upon Systems Alliance military units.


OOM-9 watched as Zaeed Massani crossed his arms over his chest.

"I lost my ship, 4-LOM and Zuckuss."

"Relax, Mr. Massani. We have all your credits right here." OOM-9 motioned and a group of OX9 worker droids started carrying over large suitcases stuffed with credits. The droids opened up the suitcases to reveal their contents. Zaeed and HK-47 looked them over. Given what had happened, Zaeed had opted to be paid in physical money, rather than an account transaction. Zaeed wasn't sure how far OOM-9 wanted to cover up the events that took place at Aegis VII (military types typically enjoyed secrecy). Zaeed wanted as little to do with it as possible. The job had already been difficult enough without any possible repercussions hitting Zaeed and HK-47 later on.

"I trust you are satisfied?" OOM-9 asked.

"Mostly," Zaeed said.

The mercenary's fees were outrageous though OOM-9 still paid Zaeed Massani in full. The battle droid general considered the mercenary to be a valuable wildcard, and it was wise to keep him happy in case he needed to be called upon again. OOM-9 cared nothing for money; avarice was the vice of organics, not droids. OOM-9 himself was incredibly wealthy; he was actually the wealthiest legal droid property holder in the entire Galaxy. Money was easy enough to acquire, the greed of organics and galactic economics were extraordinarily easy to predict. OOM-9 had never been programmed for finance yet he found it so easy to manipulate stock markets to his own advantage when he needed to. Greed and stupidity was never in short supply among the organics that managed galactic finance, meaning money was never in short supply for the command battle droid.

"Observation: It appears that the 8th Fleet is preparing for military mobilization once again."

"Nothing gets by you, does it?" OOM-9 turned to HK-47.

"I know you're fighting one of the largest wars the Galaxy has ever seen and you just won this battle, but going out again borders on recklessness." Zaeed started to pace. "Normally, we wouldn't care but since we're stuck here until we can get a ride, it's become our business." Zaeed knew he had the option to just ask for a shuttle (and the droid would likely give him one), but he didn't feel like accidently becoming a target for the Republic. His luck had been poor as of late and he didn't want to push it by flying around in a piece of Confederate hardware (other than the gigantic ship is was currently in).

"Then perhaps you would be willing to accept another mission?"

"Depends on what it is." Zaeed stopped his pacing and turned back to the command battle droid. "If it's anything like the previous mission, I'm out. Not unless you're willing to pay out appropriate compensation."

"This mission will be nothing like the last," OOM-9 promised.

"Keep talking," Zaeed gestured.

"Anomalous weather patterns have been detected on the planet Canalus in the Dirada system. We believe these patterns are connected to geth activity on the surface."

Zaeed was surprised at the droid's willingness to instantly divulge information.

"Query: Since when is the Confederacy concerned with the Dirada system?"

"Since the Systems Alliance agreed to a joint military operation. We are droids, but we are not friendly with the geth."

"And what do you want us to do?" Zaeed asked. "There's only so much HK-47 and I can do if you want to have a pissing contest with the geth in a ground war." Zaeed was guessing that the Separatists were going to engage the geth on the surface, rather than attack with an orbital bombardment. If the battle droids were going to zap the geth from orbit, they'd have absolutely no need of his services.

"You will keep an eye on a handful of my soldiers during the fight. Will you accept?"

"Sure, why the hell not? As long as you've got the money. Just a friendly warning, General, I get paid more for anti-armor duty."

"Of course, we intend to compensate you fully for your services."


Tali'Zorah vas Neema was led down a barren hall by a kerkoiden soldier. Two more burly kerkoidens followed behind her. Despite having been deprived of her shotgun, pistol, and combat knife; the Separatists still felt the need to give the quarian an escort wherever she went. And Tali had noticed that her guards were not droids, despite the fact that the droids were clearly the majority on the Lucrehulk droid control ship. Perhaps they thought she was too much of a threat to battle droids—they had allowed her to keep her omni-tool after all. But Tali was not planning on causing trouble. Her skills would allow her to get the best of a few droid guards, but there was no way she could fight her way off the Confederate warship.

The group stopped at a door. The lead soldier pressed a button and the door slid open. The kerkoiden walked through and Tali followed without any prompting from the two guards behind her.

They had taken her to a conference room. Trade negations had probably taken place here a dozen times over—but that was another era, an era where the Scrapyard carried cargo for trade instead of armies of droids, before the Scrapyard had been converted into a weapon of war.

Inside stood a single battle droid. Tali could tell he was a command battle droid from the specialized antenna on his back. But his color scheme was odd. The droid was bathed in brown and white.

"Guards, leave us," the battle droid spoke in rather unique voice.

Tali turned and watched as her escorts disappeared from the room. As the door slid shut she turned back around to face the lone battle droid. Odd that the droid told the guards to leave, but Tali was sure the droid felt secure on his own ship.

"What do you want?" Tali said with much more disdain than she had intended. She had no love of droids but this was definitely not the time to piss one off. "Yayap and Zako promised me you guys would play nice."

"We are. I am Senior Commander EEK-176."

"And I am Tali'Zorah vas Neema. I am the daughter of Admiral Rael'Zorah. The Migrant Fleet will not—"

"We know who you are, Tali'Zorah." EEK-176 raised up a hand to silence the quarian. "Your socio-political standing among your people has already been calculated and taken into consideration in regards to your sentencing."

"My sentencing?"

"You're in a very bad position, quarian." EEK-176 clicked his metal fingers together.

Sadistic bosh'tet, Tali thought to herself. The battle droid was enjoying this.

"The Magog Cartel is furious. They want nothing to do with your war with the geth. You and your late accomplices are fools for leaving geth parts on Magog property. President Molluck wants you tossed in a meat grinder. General Dripik wants you shot by firing squad. Vice-President Aslik wants you to face the greeters. And Director Phleg wants to feed you to the slogs. And all that's nothing compared to what Lady Margaret wants done to you."

"We weren't helping the geth," Tali said in her defense.

"The glukkons really don't care."

"We needed a drop off point. And the tech on Oddworld is crude enough that there was no chance of the geth infiltrating anything. Besides, we only left pieces."

"As I just said, the glukkons do not care. But, the terms of your punishment are ultimately up to the droid army, not them. Commander Zako and Lieutenant Yayap have informed us that you are indeed telling the truth."

"So, what are you going to do?" This was certainly a change. Tali thought she was facing the possibility of execution a second ago. But the droid had switched gears. Though she still considered him a bosh'tet. He was clearly taking great delight in jerking her around—not that she gave up any emotion to indicate that he was being successful. Still, Tali was thankful that Yayap and Zako had not gone back on their word.

"A test. To prove that you're not allied with the geth."

An instant anger rose up in Tali. "You think I'd work with the monsters that nearly wiped out my people? You droids are stupider than I thought."

"If you despise the geth so much, then you should have no qualms about fighting them."

"Fighting—"

"The geth have been detected in the Dirada system. We are heading there to wipe them out. If you fight alongside us against them, we will accept your version of the story without further question."

"And you'll let me go?"

"Of course. But we'll be keeping the geth parts you left at Rupture Farms. And you had better alert your pickup contact not to set foot on Oddworld, or they'll be facing charges themselves. Do you accept these terms?"

"Yes." It was all Tali could do. All their efforts on Maji would be for nothing, but at least Tali would be able to walk out alive at the end of it all. Too bad she couldn't say the same for Penn and Lena.

"Good," EEK-176 said. "Given your experiences together, you will be assigned to Lieutenant Yayap for the mission."

"I can work with him," Tali nodded. "What about my weapons?"

"They will be returned to you. We don't expect you to battle geth with just an omni-tool."


The repair bays on every capital ship in the 8th Fleet were a never-ending hurricane of activity. Between the recent fighting on Mygeeto and Oddworld, there were a lot of damaged droids that needed to be repaired. Fixing broken droids was a small price to pay, organic troops couldn't be resurrected the way droids could. Once they were dead, they stayed dead. It was for this reason that the Confederacy tried to deploy droids as a first resort.

But there were two droids in particular that General OOM-9 wanted repaired above all others—8EX and 5TE. They had to be repaired and reactivated. OOM-9 wanted answers. More than anything, the battle droid general wanted to know what had happened to Major Ashley Katen and the rest of the team that had set out after the quarians.

In order to cut down on waiting time and not disrupt the flow of any of the regular repair teams, OOM-9 assigned one of his top scientists to fix the droids. This task was assigned to Dr. Zox, a grambo scientist.

Dr. Zox, like most grambos, was short in stature. Grambos typically had a similar height and build to the unggoy. And like the unggoy (and the sligs), grambos were unfairly associated with the Separatist Droid Army; this chiefly due to the fact that grambos had a small presence in the Galaxy. They were rarely seen outside their home system until the Trade Federation, and later the Confederacy, had started hiring them in mass numbers to repair their armies of battle droids. Grambo culture had always had a strong emphasis on technology. This unshakable cultural value led most grambos to become cyborgs when they came of age. An entire species practicing a cultural habit of becoming cyborgs was frowned upon by the galactic community, and thus the grambos typically wore hooded clothing that allowed themselves to hide their true forms. Their short stature, hooded forms and the fact that they had eyes that glowed white, made grambos look eerily similar to jawas, yet another race that was short in stature and had a small presence in the galactic community at large. One defining feature grambos had that jawas lacked was a large pair of horns atop their head, leading many of the ignorant masses to consider them 'evil jawas.'

What made Dr. Zox stand out from most grambos was the fact that he wore a monocle over his left eye, and half of his right horn had been sliced off. He also happened to be a powerful biotic that held several different doctorates. So fixing a pair of super battle droids was far beneath Zox's capabilities. But the grambo scientist didn't complain when OOM-9 had assigned him the mundane task. He actually found fixing damaged battle droids to be quite relaxing, and it was as close to meditation as someone like Zox was ever going to get.

It wasn't long before Zox had 8EX and 5TE completely repaired: they were put back together, their limbs could move, their wrist laser cannons were restored, and their memories were intact…

When Dr. Zox reactivated 8EX and 5TE, the super battle droids instantly remembered their failure on the Ishimura, and transmitted all their data wirelessly to the droid network. They classified it top secret, so the high-ranking droids like OOM-9, EEK-176, Z23-Y75, and OOM-8 could access it first before anyone else. They knew it was best not everyone knew about Katen's demise right away, she was very popular among the droid troops and there were going to be a lot of angry war machines when knowledge of her death spread.


Yayap wasn't sure what was going on. They had finished breakfast a while ago, and had little else to do. The ponies were starting to get antsy, especially Vinyl. Yayap did not want to end up as their temporary guide or guardian. And he couldn't exactly push the responsibility off on Krunch; the slig was almost at as much of a loss as the ponies were. He called Zakap over the comm to see what the others were up to and the two unggoy decided to meet in one of the Scrapyard's main hangar bays.

"Where are we going?" Krunch asked as Yayap lead them down a hall.

"To one of the hangar bays," Yayap answered.

"Am I gettin' a ride home?"

"Not yet."

"Why not?"

"Someone a higher rank than me has to clear it."

"Why?"

"In case they want to ask you more questions," Yayap explained.

Krunch groaned. He had answered more than enough questions already. The droid army knew everything he did at this point, and he suspected that they actually knew more. Krunch wanted to go back to Oddworld and brag about his adventure to Zal and the other sligs. But more than anything the slig was lethargic and ready to go home and nap. He had more than his fill of adventure for a while.

Lyra's eyes darted around, soaking in the area. The environment the ponies were in now was so much different than the previous one. Everything was brightly lit now, and streamlined and sterile… and boring. But there were no horrible monsters trying to eat them, so that was a big plus. Though Lyra secretly hoped they wouldn't be stuck on the ship for too long.

They reached the entrance to the hangar. The ponies looked around with vivid curiosity. There were several AATs and MTTs lined up in the distance. Infantry-sized dwarf spider droids, crab droids and octuptarra droids were filing into Trade Federation dropships and XT Beetle transports. Battle droids intermingled with PK worker droids, sligs, unggoy, neimoidians, and humans. But what drew everyone's attention were a trio of large bugs directly ahead of them.

The three bugs stood out from all the others in the hangar. All three had light black exoskeletons. The two larger ones had grotesquely elongated teeth. The third was about the ponies' size and had a pair of scissor-like mandibles.

The bugs noticed them and started crawled right over to them.

Rainbow's muscles tightened. The bugs didn't look friendly. She was still tired but there was no way she was going to back down from a fight.

"Uhhh, Yayap, I think you've got a bit of a bug problem," Lyra's voice was shaky.

The trio of bugs stopped right in front of the unggoy, slig and ponies.

"What is this? Yayap, have you brought us a snack?" the large alien with an elongated, banana-shaped head mounted on four legs asked. The bug alien's gigantic, toothy mouth did not move when he spoke.

"No, Krang. These are some friends of mine."

"Looks like food to me," the smallest of the bug aliens spoke.

"We are not food!" Rainbow Dash scowled at the stag beetle-esque alien. She took to the air and glowered down at the bug. After having killed the hive mind, Rainbow was not impressed by the small collection of oversized bugs before her.

The stag beetle responded by opening up his shell to reveal his wings, and in a second, he too, was hovering in the air. In the air, it was easier to see his legs. And what the ponies found so odd was that he only had three of them: two forward legs and only a single back leg running parallel with his abdomen.

"Such a harsh tone for something that looks like food."

"Relax, Claw," Yayap said. He did not want these two getting in a fight.

Claw answered by opening and closing his scissor jaws as if to mimic a yawn.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Dash glared.

"Rainbow…" Vinyl looked at her friend. "Don't start stuff."

"I didn't start anything. They did."

"We have done nothing," the large, ant-like alien spoke this time.

"But that can change," Claw added.

"Oh, please." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I'm the best flyer in all of Equestira. I could fly rings around you."

"Just try it," Claw dared.

Rainbow Dash wasn't one to back down from a dare, especially from an annoying alien bug. She immediately started flying circles around Claw, who proceeded to try in snare her in his jaws.

"That's enough!" Yayap yelled with authority in his voice.

The two didn't stop. Rainbow managed a small, but harmless kick on the flying bug before Lyra grabbed her with her magic and forced her down to the deck.

After being hit and seeing Rainbow grounded, Claw relented and hovered back down to the floor.

The two bigger bugs started to laugh. A deep, haunting, wheezy, mocking laugh that made Vinyl's bones tingle. It sounded like the laugher of nightmares.

"Shut up!" Claw turned back around to his larger comrades. "It's not funny!"

"She got you good," the ant bug said as his elongated head bobbed up in down in raucous laugher.

"Shut up, Krieg!"

Krieg and Krang ignored Claw and continued to laugh at him. The ponies found it weird; their laughs were so much different from their speech.

Lyra couldn't help it. She had to know why. "Hey, Yayap. Why do they sound like that?"

"Uh, what?" The unggoy wasn't entirely sure what the minty unicorn pony was asking.

"Their voices don't match their laughing. And their mouths don't move when they talk."

"They're moving now," Vinyl pointed out.

"Oh," Yayap understood now. "Krieg, Krang and Claw here are arthrocopterans. They don't have the right vocal cords to speak Basic, so they have cybernetic implants to help them talk. Though right now they're busy laughing in their own language."

"Why does this remind me of when we first met you and Krunch?" Rainbow said to Yayap.

"Because the same thing happened," Vinyl said. "Everyone around here thinks we're food for some reason."

"What's an arthrowhatorwhat?" Lyra asked. "They all look like a different kinda bug to me."

"And bugs are supposed to be small!" Rainbow added.

Yayap sighed. This was the kind of thing he wanted to avoid. Explanations were so tedious, especially since the ponies seemed to have no basic knowledge of the universe. "Long story. Ask Commander Zako next time you see him. He could explain them better than I can. Or better yet, you can ask them yourselves."

"They don't seem like the friendly type." Vinyl's ears folded back.

"Because everypony we've met has been soooo friendly," Rainbow said to her friend.

"They're alright. You just gotta get to know 'em," Yayap said.

"I'm sure." Vinyl Scratch wasn't sure at all.


Further down the hangar bay, Commander Zako was speaking with 3B3-888 and DSD-08 when he noticed a certain individual… an individual he didn't think he'd ever see again.

"Lieutenant Gorman!" Zako beamed and strode over to the Colonial Marines officer.

Gorman looked over in surprise. He hadn't interacted with the Karl Zako for very long, but the oddly colored cybernetic eye made it easy for Gorman to remember him, and pick him out from a crowd.

Zako seized Gorman in a firm, but friendly handshake. "So good to see you! Glad to see you made it through that mess on Oddworld. Not a lot of soldiers would be able to walk away alive after a battle like that. Those Republican bastards give you any trouble?"

"Nothing we couldn't handle." Gorman was stunned at the seemingly genuine change in the other officer's attitude.

"Excellent. And I hear you'll be joining us against the geth in the upcoming battle."

"Yes. I will be leading the Colonial Marines in this joint mission." Gorman was less than enthusiastic. He was not looking forward to fighting the geth. Gorman felt like he had completed some right of passage. The acceptance from Zako wasn't something Gorman had really earned, they had been fired upon in the APC and again when they reached the Sulaco, but they hadn't engaged the Republic's military forces in proper retaliation. Gorman felt no need to bring up that particular detail with Commander Zako.

Commander Zako noticed the Yayap, Krunch and the ponies off in the distance. He also noticed Krieg and Krang laughing uncontrollably. He figured it was something he better take a look into. "If you'll excuse me, Lieutenant. I'm sure you have preparations to attend to before the upcoming battle."

William Gorman let out a sigh as he watched Zako head off towards an odd assemblage of aliens, a dwarf spider droid and B1 battle droid following after him. If someone like Commander Zako was suddenly acting friendly, it wasn't too outlandish to assume that things were going to go to shit soon. Gorman felt like he had been thrown into a whole other league of hell. First it was the xenomorphs, then the Republic attack, and now the geth were to be his opponents. If Gorman survived the upcoming sortie, there was no guessing what sort of shit would be thrown his way next.

The Colonial Marines officer repressed letting out another sigh and started toward his dropship. He had to make it back to the Sulaco before the 8th Fleet set out for hyperspace. Gorman dreaded what was to come—not the upcoming battle against the geth so much as having to tell what was left of his troops that they were being sent out into battle once again. He worried that mutiny could be a possibility. He considered asking OOM-9 for some droids to accompany him, but he decided against it. It would make the Colonial Marines—and by extension all of the Systems Alliance, look weak.

"Krang! Krieg! What's so fuckin' funny? Is someone gonna let me in on the joke? I could use a good laugh," Zako boomed as he reached the group.

"The tiny blue thing hit Claw," Krieg answered.

"Ah, so you've met the ponies?"

"Indeed," Krang said. "They are an amusing lot. In both appearance and actions."

"Friends of yours?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow at Zako.

"Of course, Rainbow. We're all friends here. And since they're here, I might as well introduce you to two others. This is 3B3-888." Zako motioned to the B1 battle droid now standing at his side. "And this big guy here is DSD-08." Zako pointed at the dwarf spider droid.

"Hiya!" Lyra waived a hoof.

"What is it with this place and bugs?" Rainbow fluttered up to the air and circled around DSD-08 a few times.

"What's with you and that ridiculous color scheme?" Claw countered.

"Hey, be nice," Zako scolded the stag beetle drone.

Claw simply chittered away in his native language.

"Anyway," Zako ignored the bug. "If we had these guys with us, that little adventure on the Ishimura would have gone much differently."

"I hope not too much differently," Yayap said. "We did survive, after all."

"If we had a few battle droids with us, we could have retaken the Ishimura without even having to bother with the Marker," Zako boasted. "His armor is tough." Zako gave DSD-08 a few rough slaps on his armored ball of a body. "The necromorphs wouldn't be strong enough to pierce it, well maybe those big brutish ones could, but that would be it."

Lyra poked at 3B3-888 before nudged his leg with her head. "You feel like the other droid, the red one. HK-whatever. It's like you guys are always wearing armor."

"Because we are." 3B3-888 looked down at the aquamarine unicorn.

"You never take it off?"

"Not under normal circumstances. Our armor plating is rarely removed unless we require maintenance."

"And maintenance is easy too," Zako added.

Sergeant 3B3-888 noticed that the commander was particularly happy showing off himself and DSD-08 to the colorful aliens.

"Maintenance on organics is not nearly as easy. You're losing your edge, Zako," 3B3-888 said. "You used to be able to challenge Jedi, when you had to. Now you get taken hostage by quarians?"

"Awww, gimme a break, huh? I've had it bad enough without you rubbing acid in my wounds."

"You need to be more careful," 3B3-888 lectured. The B1 battle droid was thinking about Katen when he said it. Zako didn't yet know what had happened, and 3B3-888 decided to keep it that way, for now.

"We're fine, partly thanks to my new friends here. Wanna hear a joke?" Zako asked.

"Sure," Lyra nodded with enthusiasm.

"What do insect politicians worry about?"

"I dunno. What?" Lyra asked.

Krieg, Krang and Claw groaned. They had all heard this one before.

"Consitiuants."

The three arthrocopterans groaned. Lyra laughed.

"Not that funny," Rainbow was honest.

"Hey, I'm a soldier. If I was funny, I'd be a comedian."

DSD-08 beeped something.

"What did he say?" Rainbow asked.

"He approves of your appearance," Zako spoke as if he were preoccupied with something else.

"Huh?" Vinyl tilted her head.

"You're quadrupeds and have big eyes, just like he does," Zako clarified. "He's just being superficial."

The spider droid beeped something again.

"What'd he say this time?" Lyra asked.

"Nothing."

3B3-888 chose to answer. "He says the Commander better snap you up before someone else does."

"What?" Rainbow didn't like the sound of being 'snapped up.'

"You're projecting, DSD-08." The Separatist officer pointed accusingly at the dwarf spider droid. "You like 'em so much, you ask 'em out."

The spider droid angrily sputtered out a response.

"Like you know anything about dating," Zako snapped at the spider droid, who beeped back yet another a negative-sounding response. Zako didn't know what DSD-08's problem was, the dwarf spider droid was usually very agreeable to be around.

Rainbow Dash didn't like only being able to hear one half of the conversation.

"Hey, why can't he speak?" Lyra asked.

"What are you talking about? DSD-08 is speaking," Zako said.

"I don't understand him."

"He speaks a specific droid language."

"Why?" Lyra asked.

"What do you mean, 'why?'"

"The other droids speak the same language you do. Why doesn't he?"

"Oh. I guess so that enemies can't understand what he's saying."

"Then… why don't all droids do that?"

"Because they often interact with the public more than dwarf spider droids do. Sometimes they issue orders to civilians, and those orders need to be understood."

Yayap was pleased with the progression of the conversation, mainly; Zako was now answering the ponies' questions instead of him having to. He pondered activating his camouflage and slipping away as the others talked. He wasn't trying to be mean, but he did want to go take a nap. Yayap knew he wouldn't get away with it and simply gave up on the idea. He looked over at Krunch, who looked like he was also about to topple over.

Zako noticed Captain SSA-719 approaching the group. He had a feeling he knew what the security battle droid wanted. The ponies had distracted him from what he was supposed to be doing.

"The General wants to see you," SSA-719 said.

"Right." Zako nodded. "Hey, SSA-719. I feel like I've been stepped on by a homing spider droid. I need a chiropractor. An organic chiropractor… not one of the chiropractor droids. They never get it quite right."

"You know we don't have one on staff," SSA-719 said.

"Well get one here. I'll pay for it myself if I have to. I feel terrible!"

"Stop your bitching and take it like a droid."

"After all the insane shit I've been through, I deserve to complain a little."

"I swear, Commander. You are the avatar for the whiny organic stereotype," SSA-719 shook his elongated head in mock disdain.

"I am not, there are tons of people whinier than I am." Zako turned back towards the others. "I gotta go. And don't follow me this time."

"We weren't following you, Commander," Yayap explained.

"Yes, yes. I gotta go talk to the General. Yayap… just show the ponies around or something. We have a ton of cool shit in this hangar alone. Show 'em the tanks and aircraft. Or find out what Dr. Kyne is doing."

"Uh, sir?" Yayap wasn't so sure.

"It's fine. It's not like we're hiding state secrets in here. People see this stuff all over the news when we're rescuing planets from the Republic."

"Alright then." Yayap caught Gagaw, Zakap and the other unggoy out of the corner of his eye. "There they are!"

"Who?" Vinyl asked.

"The friends we were originally looking for," Yayap explained.

"Sweet. More friends!" Lyra beamed.

"Yeah," Rainbow was noticeably less enthusiastic. "Let's see if they want to eat us to. I've been noticing a recurring theme when we meet new friends."


After leaving the ponies with Yayap and Krunch (for the second time), Commander Zako did not have to go far before he reached General OOM-9. The command battle droid had met the bio-linked cyborg halfway.

"What happened with the xenomorphs?" Zako asked. He wondered if they had been wiped out or if a few had been captured for Dr. Destroyer to experiment on. Even though Zako had promised Ripley the xenomorphs would be destroyed, he could certainly see a few being captured alive for the ithorian scientist to play with.

"Missing."

"Missing? What do you mean?" Zako remembered the situation on Oddworld was a mess, but he didn't see how an entire hive of hostiles would suddenly be so difficult to find.

"We can't locate any of them. They've disappeared from Oddworld. We were able to locate three corpses matching the description of the predatory cloaked alien you encountered in Rupture Farms."

"The xenomorphs don't look like they know how to fly ships. How could they disappear off the face of the planet?"

"But they appear to be dangerously intelligent. Records of the battle show they focused their attacks on the Republic, specifically on ships that had landed on the surface. We believe they were trying to board the ships in hopes of escaping."

"They're that smart?"

"They appear to be." OOM-9 changed the subject. "At any rate, we have a new mission, as you have already been told. But you, Commander," OOM-9 pointed a metal finger. "Will not be joining us. You'll be watching the pony aliens while we fight the geth."

"Can't Lieutenant Yayap or Krunch take care of them?"

"They'll be accompanying Miss Zorah on this mission."

"That's not fair! You know I've been waiting for a chance at the geth just as much as you!" Zako protested. "You're going to take the quarian along, but not me?"

"I need proof that Miss Zorah is willing to battle the geth. Commander, we're going to be spending a lot of time on repairs from the battles on Mygeeto and Oddworld. This is going to be a very small operation. You need time to recover from your ordeal at Aegis VII. You are not needed for this fight. What I do need you to do is look after those aliens. Given your history with them you are best suited to this task. I have no ambassadors in this fleet to do it for you. Do you really think the droids or the enlisted soldiers can deal with them? Or should I have Dr. Quartz or Dr. Zox watch over them? Or maybe Dr. Destroyer?"

"No… I'll do it." Zako wanted to bring up the fact that both Yayap and Krunch would also be tired from the events above and on Aegis VII, but figured he had argued with his superior enough already. That Zako was able to get away with whining this much at all was due to the fact that he was one of OOM-9's closest friends. Besides, Zako realized Yayap and Krunch were accompanying Tali because they had fought together previously. Those two would make better partners for Tali than he would, and the quarian was certain to get along better with them than the Confederacy's battle droids.

"Good." OOM-9 really wanted the pony aliens as allies and unfortunately Commander Zako was his best chance at making that happen at this point. Seeing the recorded footage taken from Zako's cybernetic eye, OOM-9 knew of the aliens' magical powers. If Dr. Quartz or Dr. Zox could figure out a way to replicate their healing and repair spells, OOM-9's army would be unstoppable. "And another thing…"

"Yes, OOM-9?"

"Keep the ponies out of sight of Dooku's dark eye probe droids. It should not be difficult, as they are always near Dr. Destroyer. I am keeping these new aliens a secret until we have something of true value to report."

"Yes sir." Zako understood OOM-9's desire for secrecy. If Dooku or other Separatist leaders learned of the ponies' existence, the ponies would likely find themselves on an operating table surrounded by scientists cutting them open to try and understand how they worked and where their magic came from. Despite the fact that he looked like a loyal battle droid, OOM-9 had purposefully withheld information from his superiors before. OOM-9 had not reported it when he had acquired the Force-sensitive ithorian, Dr. Destroyer. When Dooku did find out about OOM-9's omission, the leader of the CIS had sent some of his dark eye probe droids to act as permanent observes to Destroyer's actions. Luckily for OOM-9, the probe droids were not on the alert for magical pony aliens, and even if the droids spotted them, the ponies wouldn't arouse suspicion unless they were witnessed using their magic. Still, OOM-9 thought it better if Zako had the ponies avoid the probe droids altogether.


Lieutenant Commander Curlap caught up to Yayap and the others as they were viewing a line of AATs. The tanks came in a variety of colors from beige to red and brown or dark gray and blue. They certainly were not uniform, as might have been expected from a military organization.

"Yayap!" Curlap motioned. "If I could have a word with you."

"Sure." Yayap turned to the unggoy major at his side. "Gagaw, take over for me."

"Right."

Yayap ambled over towards the unggoy ultra. "What is it, Curlap?"

"The slig that was with you on Aegis VII."

"Krunch?"

"Yes. He's been drafted into the Separatist Droid Army effective immediately."

Yayap paused for a second. "I'll tell him. He may as well get the news from a friendly face."

"Also, we're loading up for the battle against the geth."

"Us, specifically?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Yayap asked.

"I'll explain it to everyone in a moment. But first, you'll want to tell Krunch he's one of us now."

"Right. Hey, Krunch!" Yayap called the slig over.

"What is it?"

"You've been drafted into the Separatist Droid Army." Yayap was simple and to the point and didn't bother trying to sugarcoat the truth with any bullshit.

"What?! Why?"

"A decision came from the Magog Cartel," Curlap said.

"But… but… I'm tired. I wanna go home."

"No can do, Private," Curlap said.

"But…"

"Relax, Krunch." Yayap put his hand on the slig's shoulder. "It's not so bad."

A mechanical noise of protest escaped from Krunch's mask.

Curlap moved on towards the rest of the group—mainly the ponies. "You there. The colorful quadrupeds."

"Yeah?" Lyra asked.

"You're going to spend some time with Commander Zako. Krang." Curlap looked over at the massive bug. "If you could please take them to the commander."

"Very well." The massive bug softly nodded his elongated head.

Tali'Zorah, Zaeed Massani, HK-47, and a trio of kerkoiden guards were approaching as Krang took the ponies away.

"Alright, listen up!" Curlap addressed the squad. "This quarian, Tali'Zorah will be joining us on this mission against the geth. So too will Zaeed Massani and HK-47."

"Why are any of us going?" the unggoy Nomnom asked. "This seems like a fight between droids."

"None of the other unggoy squads are being mobilized," Mehmep noticed.

"We are here to make sure Tali here is willing to kill geth," Curlap said.

"Destroy geth," Tali corrected as she approached and stopped in front of the group. "Killing implies the geth are alive. They are not."

"Good to hear," Curlap turned to look at Tali.

"You might not want to say that too loudly around battle droids, though," Zakap warned the quarian. "They might take offense."

"This is going to be a simple op," Curlap continued. "We are only going to act as a small support squad for the main droid attack force. This is mostly just a show. So long as we kill a handful of geth, we'll be fine." Curlap paused for a second and turned to Tali. "Specifically you. It would be in your interest to score at least one confirmed kill."

"I can do that," Tali crossed her arms. "I've destroyed plenty of geth before."

"Then your task should be easy," Curlap said.

They started loading up on their assigned dropship. Yayap and Krunch stuck near Tali. So far everything had gone fine. None of the others was having a problem working with the accused quarian. Then again, it was the leadership of the Magog Cartel that had a problem with Tali, not rank-and-file Separatist troops like Gagaw or Nomnom.

"What's with the long name?" Krunch asked Tali.

"Why do you two have such short names?" Tali crossed her arms and tilted her head towards Krunch and Yayap.

"We sligs come from queens," Krunch explained. "Before the Confederacy started expanding our territory and numbers we were mostly on our homeworld Oddworld. There is usually no more than one mature queen at a time. So sligs had no need of last names, as we were all family. But now we have several off-world queens providing many sligs for the Separatist army. We still prefer first names, but we are categorized by the queen that birthed us. I am Krunch of Lady Skillya."

Yayap didn't know where to start on explaining unggoy names so he tried to get Tali to answer the question she had deflected back at them. "You didn't say why your name is so long. We weren't trying to tease you. We want to know."

"Our names are a reflection of the ships that we serve on." Tali continued on with her explanation as the others listened.


Zako's shoe taped on the deck, the Separatist commander was getting bored as he waited for Dr. Quartz, Dr. Zox and a couple of medical droids to give the three ponies a physical exam. Since he wasn't technically on any 'official' duties, Zako had changed back into his civilian clothes.

Zako wondered why the medical droids couldn't handle this on their own. The CIS officer suddenly realized he had no idea what degrees Dr. Quartz and Dr. Zox actually had. They had done so many different things in the past; they seemed to be omnidisciplinary scientists. But he certainly wasn't going to ask them now and interrupt their work. The faster everything was finished the better.

While Zako was bored acting as guardian, the ponies were considerably more entertained. They had never seen a skakoan, or a grambo, before. Though the ponies got an up close and personal look at the aliens now, as personal space had all but vanished as the two doctors started to poke and prod and measure.

"What are you guys?" Vinyl asked.

"We're the one's that are here to ask questions," Dr. Quartz said as he removed Vinyl's shades and looked them over.

"Hey! Dude! The buck? Give those back!"

"Calm yourself," Quartz all but ignored the irritated unicorn pony.

Vinyl used her magic to grab her shades back and placed them on their rightful place on her face. "You can see them. If you ask."

"Fascinating," Dr. Zox cooed.

"C'mon, what are you guys?" Lyra whined.

"If it will get you to be silent, I am a grambo," Dr. Zox said. "And Dr. Quartz here is a skakoan."

"Why you hidin' under that hood?" Rainbow Dash asked Zox with her usual level of candor. "You ugly or something?"

"If you must know, yes. There are many that consider grambos unsightly."

"Awww, that's mean," Lyra said. "I'm sure you don't look that bad."

"You'd be surprised," Zox replied.

"I doubt it," Lyra continued as the grambo scientist started taking measurements of her head. "We've seen a lot of ugly stuff so far."

"Regardless, I'm not removing my hood to satisfy your curiosity."

"What about you—"

"And do not think I will be any more accommodating," Quartz interrupted Lyra. "If I remove my pressure suit, I would die in this atmosphere."

That Dr. Quartz was confined to a pressure suit wasn't so much a surprise to the ponies. Between Yayap, Krunch and Tali they had already met plenty of weird aliens that had a tendency to permanently wear mechanical devices. And that list didn't even include Zako, whose left eye was artificial.

"I don't like anypony touching my hooves," Rainbow pulled away from Dr. Zox.

Zako rolled his eyes. "Dash, will you relax? They're doctors, not pony molesters. Just let 'em do their job."

"Not the hooves," Dash insisted.

"Very well," Zox acquiesced. "How about a blood sample instead?"

"No way," Dash dissented.

Zako sighed. "Dash, they're doctors. Just let them do their job. They need to make sure you're healthy and they need to analyze your biological makeup to make sure there's nothing dangerous for you here." Zako felt he needed to explain, because if the doctors ended up doing it, they were going to get irritated. And as much as Zako was frustrated, he did not want to have to deal with an annoyed Dr. Quartz.

"Okay, fine," Dash acquiesced with a huff.

The blood samples were quickly taken from the ponies and inserted into a testing machine.

"Astounding!" Quartz gasped as he read the readout the machine provided. "They appear to have no need for any modern vaccinations."

"I could have told you that," Zako said. "I'm sure they would have keeled over on the Ishimura if germs were gonna kill them."

Lyra gave Zako a stare.

"What? It's true."

"They appear to have no translators either." Dr. Zox said as he finished inspecting the inside of Vinyl's mouth.

"No translators? That fucking impossible! They've had no contact with the Galaxy! I'm the first human they've ever seen!" Zako turned to Lyra. This was something Zako and the ponies hadn't given any thought to back on the Ishimura, considering they had much more pressing matters to worry about. "How can you understand us? Did you cast some sort of translation spell on yourselves or something?"

"No. I didn't." Lyra turned to Vinyl. "Did you?"

"No."

"Do you know any translations spells?" Zako asked.

"Karl, I bucked up my shrink spell. What do you think?"

"This doesn't make any sense. But then again, you ponies are very weird." Zako gave up trying to find any logic anymore.

"We're weird? Look who's talking!" Rainbow jabbed a hoof at the cyborg.

"How can you speak Basic when you've never seen the Galaxy?"

"Speak what?" Lyra asked.

"Basic. It's the Galaxy's primary language."

"We're speaking Equish," Vinyl said.

"No. You're speaking Basic. I know my own language when I hear it."

"No, we're speaking Equish," Lyra said.

"Basic." Zako crossed his arms.

"Equish!" Rainbow boomed.

"Basic!"

"It's clear that they're the same language," Dr. Quartz interjected.

"The same language?" Zako pondered that possibility. He suddenly pulled his shirt taught so the lettering across his chest could be easily read. "What's my shirt say?"

"Jerk," Lyra answered.

"That's pretty neat," Rainbow said. "It's like an early warning system for ponies so they're know what they're gonna be dealing with."

Zako grabbed a datapad and fiddled with it for a second. "What's this say?" He asked as he showed the ponies the paragraph of text on the datapad's screen.

"I dunno," Vinyl shrugged.

"I can't read it," Lyra said.

Rainbow merely shrugged as her answer.

"So you can read the High Galactic alphabet but you can't read Aurebesh?"

"We don't know what either of those are," Rainbow said.

"There are other mysteries besides they're understanding of Basic," Zox said. "Such as their telekinetic abilities. Their powers seem to share similar properties with biotics and the Force, yet is something else entirely."

"You got that right! I am something else entirely!" Dash proudly thumped her chest with a hoof. "Karl here knows how awesome I am."

"Yes, it's true. I cannot deny you awesomeness," Zako played along. "That explosion you performed that killed the hive mind was awe inspiring."

"The Sonic Rainboom."

"Yeah, that." Zako silently wondered to himself what it would look like if Rainbow tried that attack on a squadron of Republic starfighters.

"And I can do a lot more than that," Rainbow said proudly.

"Elaborate," Dr. Quartz said rather crassly.

"Nopony's faster than me. I could whip up a whole thunderstorm by myself if I wanted to."

"You can control the weather?" Zox asked.

"Of course. What, you guys can't?"

"No, we can't," Zako answered.

"Okay, well I figured you humans couldn't do it," Rainbow Dash admitted. "With the not being able to fly and stuff. But, there are multiple species around here right? I thought at least one could control the weather."

"No," Dr. Quartz plainly stated.

"Some Jedi can affect the weather with enough practice," Dr. Zox said. "But it is not a natural ability for any one species. Except for yours, it would seem."

"Are you all able to affect the weather?" Quartz asked.

"No, just pegasi," Dash said.

Zako wished RD had kept her mouth shut. Out of the three ponies she was the least likely to end up cut open on an operating table but now she had dramatically increased her chances of meeting the business end of a surgical scalpel. The ability to control the weather could be a great weapon.

"There are several subtypes of your kind?" Zox asked.

"Uh, yeah," Vinyl said. She thought that was kind of obvious considering she and Lyra were clearly different from Rainbow.

"What types are there?"

"Unicorns, pegasi, crystal ponies, bat ponies," Lyra started listing off different pony types. "Earth ponies."

"Earth ponies?" Zako repeated. "Could you ponies somehow be from the planet Earth?"

"What makes you ask that?" Vinyl Scratch asked.

"You have Earth ponies right?"

"Earth is just another word for dirt," Lyra explained. "I think earth ponies is a lot nicer than calling them dirt ponies."

"Huh, how odd." Zako more or less gave up.

After several more tests, the doctors had determined that the ponies could see and hear at the same level as other humanoids, though they could have been more precise had they been allowed to cut them open (but that was not going to happen). After a few more simple tests, the doctors released the ponies without extended questioning; they decided that task could be left to Zako. For the truth was, Quartz and Zox were more interested in the odd tech recovered from the three unknown alien corpses found in Rupture Farms than they were in the ponies.


The 8th Fleet and the Sulaco dropped out of hyperspace in front of the small, reddish orb that was Canalus.

Five geth cruisers hung in orbit around the planet. They looked like a bunch of malicious metal cocoons floating in the black void of space.

C-9979 landing craft, Trade Federation dropships, VACs, XT Beetle transports and neimoidian transports left the 8th Fleet's capital ships. Geth fighters unleashed by the cruisers swarmed to intercept the ground bound ships, but were intercepted by Vulture droids and droid tri-fighters. The Confederate transports were able to reach Canalus' atmosphere as the various starfighters chased each other across the stars.

Canalus' sky was clear but suddenly turned cloudy, as if the planet itself was disgusted by the arrival of the Separatists and sought to drive them away with ugly weather. But the transports continued on anyway. Down below were various rocky outcroppings, mountains and plateaus. Canalus suffered from an unusually high rate of tectonic activity and volcanism due to the planet's unusually high rate of spin combined with an overabundance of radioactive materials in the core. Canalus was not a hospitable planet, but there were certainly worse places in the Galaxy.

The weather suddenly turned from ugly to extreme as the dropships descended further through the planet's atmosphere. The wind became sharp. The large Confederate transport ships ignored the winds that raged against their hulls. The droid army had endured worse weather landing in more extreme hot zones than what they were being subjected to now.

However, the Colonial Marines' Cheyenne dropship, the Smart Ass, was having a difficult time keeping on course. Corporal Ferro struggled with the craft's controls. At the rate things were going, Ferro would have been thrilled to get the Smart Ass somewhere in the general vicinity of the designated landing zone. But she also had to watch out for the larger Separatist transports. Just one collision would leave the entire Colonial Marines' team as nothing more than a smoky smudge on one of their armored hulls.

"Picking up some hull ionization," Spunkmeyer, the co-pilot of the Smart Ass stated.

"Bad?" Ferro asked.

"Nothing the filters can't handle. Winds are at two hundred plus. Vertical shift unpredictable."

"Got it." Ferro fiddled with a few buttons.

Corporal Ferro's voice came in over the APC's intercom system. "Ferro here, we've got some rough air ahead. Stand by for some chop."

Zoe Kennedy's eyes flicked over the other occupants of the APC: Al Apone, Jenette Vasquez and William Gorman. They were only a small fraction of the team that had been sent to Oddworld. Not every else was dead; some had been left behind on the Sulaco. They only needed enough people to man the APC. They weren't a real fighting force at this point. It was all just for show, but Kennedy realized, it was that way back on Oddworld as well. She wondered what the whole point of it was.

Zoe noticed that Gorman was sitting with his eyes shut. He looked pale and was sweating profusely.

"How many drops is this for you, Gorman?" Kennedy asked.

His eyes snapped opened. But Gorman paused before answering. "Thirty-eight—simulated."

"How many combat drops?" Vasquez asked pointedly.

"Three. Four—including this one."

"Shit." Vasquez exchanged a glance with Kennedy. Kennedy wondered if Gorman's third combat drop was the one on Oddworld, she decided it probably was. There was no way Gorman didn't put that one in the list.

"At least the droids are doin' the fighting," Zoe muttered under her breath. No one heard her over the roaring winds battering down on the hull of the Cheyenne dropship—noises that could be heard all the way in the APC the dropship carried.

The VACs were the first to touch down, only kissing Canalus' soil for but a moment before lifting back off again. OG-9 homing spider droids had been deposited where the vehicle carriers were only seconds before. The massive C-9979 landing craft found the ground, and NR-N99 tank droids and armored assault tanks started to file out. The old Trade Federation dropships and newer XT Beetle transports began to unleash their massive stores of battle droid infantry.

As soon as they left their transports, the Separatists were buffeted by smog. STAPs and speeder platforms buzzed ahead to scout the area, the droid riders transmitting the data to the central control computers, which in turn relayed the information back to all the other droids. The Separatist Droid Network was a powerful weapon; it allowed the droids to wirelessly connect to one another. Once one droid found an enemy, the entire fighting force would know about it in seconds. Nothing escaped the eyes of the droid army.

The Smart Ass touched down amid the larger Separatist transports and the Colonial Marines APC rolled out in a few seconds. Apone was driving, Gorman was on the command console, Kennedy was on the front turret and Vasquez had control of the top turret. The APC looked nothing more than a steel ingot mounted on six wheels. Its bare-bones appearance was completely utilitarian while the Confederate vehicles looked like they had a more artistic bent.

OG-9 homing spider droids and magna tri-droids left the larger dropships. Both kinds of droid walkers had spherical bodies mounted on spindly legs. Both walkers were tall (though the tri-droids taller) and were able to fire their weapons over the heads of the battle droids that surged ahead of them.

Several AATs and GATs were dispersed between the larger spider walkers. Bringing up the rear were several MTTs and MUTs—gargantuan troop carriers that carried hundreds of reserve troops.

General OOM-9 observed the progress of his army from the top hatch of a red and brown armored assault tank. All troops and vehicles were in position, even the Colonial Marines' APC. The disagreeable weather had done nothing to disrupt the Confederacy's impeccable knack for prompt troop deployment and strict military formations.

"Alright, this is it!" Curlap yelled to his squad. "The droids will be doing the real work. We got it nice and easy!" The neimoidian transport carrying Tali and her escort was Separatist soldiers and mercenaries was finally touching down on the far eastern side of the droid army.

"Can't be any worse than fighting jiralhanae or Jedi," Gagaw muttered from the seat of his ghost.

The smaller, brown transport landed and the loading ramp extended down to the surface. Three ghosts, driven by Mehmep, Gagaw and Nomnom were the first to disembark. Senior Commander EEK-176's AT-PT was the second to leave the confines of the ship. The whine of the dark gray and blue walker's legs constantly boomed into the ears and auditory receptors of the infantry following behind. The dwarf spider droid DSD-08, the special ops hunter Deadside and the ant guardian Krieg were next. Tali, Zaeed, HK-47, and the others followed the heavy hitters.

"What a dump." Krunch looked on at the barren, foggy world that lay before him. The first foreign world he had set his metal feet on was Aegis VII, and Canalus was proving to be no better. The slig was starting to gain a new appreciation for his homeworld.

Tali did her best to stay near Yayap and Krunch. The other special ops grunt, Zakap, had been quiet around her. Tali figured that he didn't like her. At least the others riding around in the ghosts had acknowledged that she was part of the group before they had set out for the mission, but Zakap had stayed quiet (beyond his one word of warning to her earlier). And Tali didn't want to be near the battle droids SSA-719 and 3B3-888. Tali never would have thought she would be working alongside battle droids, let alone Confederate battle droids. It was a weird day, but then, so was yesterday. And if Tali considered all the crazy things that happened during her time with Commander Shepard, then nothing should have surprised her anymore. Yet here she was, still being thrown one curveball after another.

The scout vehicles picked up the main geth force. The Confederate droid army adjusted their course to meet the geth head on. The geth were still easy enough to spot, their bright mono-eyes shone through the haze.

Through a pair of electrobinoculars, OOM-9 looked on at the assemblage of geth ahead of his army. Though he had gone through several upgrades over the years, OOM-9's photoreceptors couldn't zoom in on images, forcing him to continue to rely on electrobinoculars. It was really not so much a design flaw considering most organics would be forced to use the device if they wanted to magnify images during battle.

OOM-9 looked on to see what his army would face: geth troopers, shock troopers, rocket troopers, snipers, destroyers, juggernauts, primes, armatures and colossi. The Separatists were able to recognize the distinct geth types based on the intelligence proved by the Systems Alliance. It was so nice of the geth to color code their soldiers based on their function, though the Confederacy did the same thing with their battle droids. The Confederacy did it to assist the organics working alongside their battle droids allies; the geth had no organic allies. Which made OOM-9 question why they color-coded their troops. Perhaps the geth were bored and enjoyed the variety. But it was a distinct advantage for the CIS; they could pick and choose which targets they wanted to take out first.

"Open fire!" OOM-9 commanded his army. Major Katen had been a favorite among the battle droids. Her death was a sore spot, made worse from the fact that the droids couldn't exact revenge upon any of the necromorphs. The battle droid army was going to take its anger out on the geth instead.

All at once, the droid army attacked. The geth returned fire immediately. The homing spider droids and tri-droids focused on their obvious opponents, the large geth colossi. Dwarf spider droids and crab droids traded fire with the geth armatures, which were basically a smaller, lavender-colored version of the giant geth colossi. B1 and B2 battle droids fired at the varied assortment of bipedal geth troopers.

Mehmep, Gagaw and Nomnom kept their ghosts further back. They had no desire to get too close and draw attention. Right now the geth were preoccupied with the droids and they intended to keep it that way. The trio of unggoy drivers was more than satisfied pelting the larger geth walkers from afar. The plasma cannons on the ghosts did little to the shielding on the large geth walkers, but every little bit helped.

The Marines' APC likewise stayed back away from the main fighting.

OOM-9 was not so concerned with his safety. He ordered KJZ-8267 to drive the tank right into the middle of the battle. Such a decision was reckless, but OOM-9 didn't care. If he was taken down in battle, he could just be repaired afterwards.

On the western side of the battle, a B3 ultra battle droid got into a pissing match with a geth prime. Both B3 battle droids and geth primes were ridiculously tall bipedal infantry. But the ultra battle droid was taller, and more powerful. It took a few good hits, but the geth prime soon erupted into sparks and smoke. The ultra battle droid took his own fair share of damage, and a couple of screaming rockets impacted on his upper chest and face, finishing him off. The nearby B1s and B2s tried to focus their fire on the geth rocket troopers, something they should have been doing before.

The geth forces started to slowly pull back. The droid army advanced, fighting hard for every meter they gained. Despite the geth's slow retreat, the central control computers on the Lucrehulk ships in orbit were able to calculate that the droid army was losing three troopers for every one geth. But that fact did nothing more than hurt OOM-9's pride, for the Confederate droids far outnumbered the geth forces.

Soon the geth stopped retreating and the battle droids found themselves under siege from a new salvo of rockets. OOM-9 looked around the area with his electrobinoculars to find that his army had come within range of geth heavy turrets. The fog of the storm had obscured his vision of them before. They emitted no lights and were only visible now that they were firing nonstop.

The AATs fired their primary cannons and the GATs unleashed their missiles on the turrets. The fighting continued—though with even more explosions cutting through the dust that saturated the planet.

The tragedy of the situation was completely lost on the combatants. The Confederate battle droids did not hesitate to destroy the geth, they did not hesitate to fight on the behalf of a galactic civilization that treated them as slaves. In turn, the geth didn't think twice about destroying the battle droids when the droids' primary sin was following orders. Had circumstances been different, the two sides might have been allies, but such was not the way the universe worked.

Bright violet lasers escaped from EEK-176's AT-PT. The command battle droid took great delight in blowing up geth infantry with his small, but overpowered walker. He particularly liked it when the enemy troopers were caught on the periphery of the blasts, sending their bodies flinging into the air instead of being destroyed outright.

Zaeed found himself relying entirely on his mantis sniper rifle. The fog of war and distance from the enemy prevented his assault rifle or pistol from being any real help. He searched for the telltale mooneye, lined up the crosshairs, squeezed the trigger and was rewarded with a headshot every time. HK-47 did the same with his blaster rifle.

Krieg fired a bolt of lighting from his toothy mouth. The blast stuck and killed four geth troopers and a shock trooper. It turned out his natural long-range attack was very effective against the geth.

Deadside kept his needler cannon running hot. Several large pink needles impacted on a geth pyro and the yellow synthetic exploded into tiny shards of metal before it was able to close in.

"You're gonna have to kill at least one, Tali!" Yayap yelled to the quarian over the roar of the battle.

"It's hard to see!" Tali yelled back. Between the storm and the distance, her M-3 predator pistol was not strong or accurate enough to score a confirmed kill. And trying to use her katana shotgun was completely out of the question unless they got closer.

Yayap overcharged his plasma pistol and fired, stripping a geth sniper of his personal shielding. Tali fired several shots, but each missed its mark. SSA-719 finished off the enemy sniper with his E-5s sniper rifle.

"No fair!" Tali protested.

"All's fair in war and marksmanship contests," the security droid said.

"It's 'all's fair in love and war,'" Zaeed corrected the droid.

"Fair?" 3B3-888 asked. "Who said anything about fair? Since when do we fight fair?" The B1 battle droid fired his E-6 blaster rifle at a damaged rocket trooper. The shot struck the red geth in the arm, dislocating it from the rest of the rocket trooper's body. The geth still managed to hold onto his rocket launcher and fired off a round that impacted on Deadside's shield.

Krunch fired his T-1 assault rifle and finished the geth. "I think I'm gettin' the hang of this!"

"You should be!" Yayap yelled back. "You had plenty of practice shooting shit on the Ishimura."

"Yeah, but they wasn't shootin' back!"

"Your shields we installed in your pants chassis should provide adequate protection," SSA-719 said. "You were not sent on this mission to die."

"Yeah, we just need to make sure you get in some practice," Zakap said as he fired his plasma pistol with blinding speed. "The jiralhanae are a lot tougher than this."

"Follow me," EEK-176 ordered his small squad over his walker's loudspeaker.

"Where are we going?" Tali asked.

"Don't ask. Follow orders," 3B3-888 said as he started marching behind DSD-08 and the AT-PT.

Tali wanted to say something back but gave up. The fighting was getting too dangerous to get in prolonged arguments with her own teammates. Besides, after a moment Tali realized what their squad leader was doing. They were clearly heading towards a rocky outcropping on the far right of the battle.

"We're sneaking around?" Tali asked as they reached the rocky area.

Krieg laughed. "You're asking this now? After it's clear this is the Commander's plan?"

Tali decided she didn't much care for the large ant alien.

"We're moving in close," SSA-719 explained. "So you can get a kill."

"We're not trying to set you up for failure," Curlap said.

"But you have to get a kill," 3B3-888 added. DSD-08 beeped in agreement.

"So you might want to get up towards the front," Nomnom said from his ghost. "Before all the kills get taken."

So far the plan had gone well, they were protected by the rocky outcroppings. Not only that; the geth didn't seem to know of their movements at all.

But luck was not at their side. They did not stay hidden for long.

"Recon drones!" SSA-719 yelled.

A cluster of five geth drones fired their pulse blasters at the clearest target in the squad. Unfortunately for them, their weapons did nothing to the AT-PT's armor.

"Destroy those drones!" Curlap yelled. HK-47 and Zaeed were already firing their weapons.

Krieg charged up another lightning blast and vomited up the deadly attack. The bolt struck right in the middle of the group, and all five recon drones went down at once.

"Dammit!" 3B3-888 cursed.

"What's wrong?" Krunch asked. "We got them!"

"What's this 'we?' I got them!" Krieg complained.

"Intelligence reports indicate the geth are connected via a wireless network," SSA-719 explained. "They'll know those recon drones are gone."

"Then why bother trying to take them out so fast?" Tali asked. It seemed to her that it ultimately made no difference either way since the geth knew they were coming. Of course, there was the obvious advantage of not getting shot up and killed by the recon drones.

"So they don't have an idea of our exact troop strength… or lack thereof," SSA-719 explained as he zoomed in with his sniper rifle. There were no further enemy troops ahead that he could see.

They continued onward. The sounds of the battle on the other side of the outcropping could be heard raging. Judging from sound alone it would have been difficult to determine who was winning. The explosions could easily be geth or battle droids getting blown up. Tali could easily pick out the sound of the siege pulse attack the geth armature units used. Though they could also hear the sounds from AATs or the beam cannons of homing spider droids. As they started to head uphill, DSD-08 and Deadside took up positions right next to EEK-176's AT-PT, instead of trailing slightly behind it.

A geth destroyer popped out from behind a large rock and fired a rocket that slammed right in the AT-PT. Just as EEK-176 answered with his concussion launcher a geth juggernaut accompanied by several standard geth troopers ran down the hill at them.

The geth were closing in on the gap. The trio of grunt-controlled ghosts stuck to the rear of the squad, only occasionally firing off a few pot shots.

Tali hit the geth juggernaut with an energy drain blast from her omni-tool. She could see the geth's shields fizzle. And they finally faltered when the geth was struck from a power shot from DSD-08's cannon. But Deadside made the final kill, filling the juggernaut full of explosive needles.

Tali was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to get a kill. She deployed her combat drone up ahead towards more of the geth. She switched to her shotgun and started to run. She could hear others take off to match her pace. A quick glance behind her and she saw that Yayap, Krunch, Zaeed, and HK-47 were rushing to keep pace with her. Either they didn't want to look like cowards or they genuinely cared about her enough to keep up… or they wanted to score more kills. Wanting to get in on as much fun and destruction as possible was certainly HK-47's goal.

A geth suddenly materialized out of nowhere—a hunter unit. A geth designed for stealth and armed with a dangerous plasma shotgun. Tali's own M-23 katana shotgun was inferior to the one the geth wielded, but she shot first. The hit stunned the geth and threw off its aim. Tali fired again and the geth lost its shields. She fired twice more—the forth shot the muzzle of her shotgun was nearly touching the geth's armored frame. The geth hunter crumpled to the ground, destroyed. Tali had earned her one required kill.

Tali took cover behind a rock as a trio of geth troopers fired at her. Many of the others caught up and passed her by.

"Congratulations on avoiding execution," Krieg said as he passed the quarian by.

Tali caught her breath and bolted from cover to join the others.

The rocky outcropping that served as a protective barrier gave way, and EEK-176's squad found themselves behind the main geth army. But the geth forces were too busy with the battle droids to even notice the small group that had snuck around from the side.

But there were still geth troops defending the weather control device. EEK-176's squad reached the top of the hill, having had to fight geth every step of the way. At the top of the hill, a sudden burst of flame caught Yayap, Zakap and Curlap. The three unggoy instantly turned invisible and the geth pyro turned its attention to Zaeed and HK-47. HK-47 pumped the geth full of blaster bolts until its shields failed. Zaeed hit its armor with his assault rifle before tossing an incendiary grenade. The grenade ignited the damaged geth's flame fuel tank, causing it to explode.

A single rocket trooper remained to guard the device. It fired several shots over a wide area, trying to take down the group all at once. 3B3-888 blasted it several times before SSA-719 finished it with his sniper rifle.

They reached the main console for the geth weather device. Tali was the first to reach it, and stated playing with buttons to see what she could do.

"We'll take it from here." SSA-719 grabbed Tali by the shoulder and gently pushed her out of the way. Everyone took defensive positions around the device, guarding in case any geth from the main force turned around to attack. In a minute, SSA-719 had the weather device completely shut down.

"The General wants us to hold position," EEK-176 said over the AT-PT's loudspeaker. "We are to defend the weather device until the battle is concluded."

It didn't take long. In a few more minutes the geth were completely wiped out. And it was no wonder, Tali looked on at the destruction before her. The sky had cleared with the machine shut off and they had a good vantage point up on the hill. The droid army before her was massive. Simple numbers dictated the geth never stood a chance.


Commander Zako decided to make good use of his time. He was missing out on the Confederacy's first military action against the geth, there was nothing he could do about that. It burned him up inside but the best he could do was hope he would be there for the next one.

Since the ponies were so painfully clueless, he figured he'd better teach them a thing or two. And he figured it was best to get a jump on that problem now as he figured he was going to be stuck with the task anyway. He called in to have Ripley join in on this little talk, as she was just as likely to be as clueless as the ponies considering she spent so many decades in cryo sleep. And just so he wasn't totally on his own, Zako called in Dr. Kyne to help him out.

They took an empty meeting room. Zako and Kyne stood at the back of the room where a large viewscreen on mounted the wall. The ponies and Ripley sat in the chairs provided. The door was shut to keep Jones from leaving the room. And it wasn't as if Jones wouldn't have been safe on his own in the unfamiliar ship. His collar had been installed with a microchip. His Separatist hosts knew where he was at all times, and could wirelessly lock away unsafe areas if the cat wandered to close to anything that might be potentially dangerous.

"Alright, so… where to begin?" Zako paced back in forth in front of the group. He should be able to handle this; he did major in history back in university. "Lyra, you guys somehow knew about humans. Yet you didn't recognize what Yayap and Krunch were when you first saw them."

"Well, we've never seen things like them before," Lyra said.

"That's understandable," Kyne said. "The sligs and unggoy are relatively new to the galactic community."

"Says the earther," Zako added.

"There are no differences between Earth humans and the rest. The ponies wouldn't be able to distinguish between the two of us," Kyne said.

"Okay." Zako clicked the remote that controlled the vidscreen. "What about mgalekgolo?" An image of a standard blue hunter filled the screen.

"Never seen those before," Dash said.

"Until we saw that black one with the cool pink needles sticking out of his arm," Vinyl added.

"Right, you guys saw Deadside. What about glukkons?" Zako clicked the remote and the image changed once again.

"Ain't seen those," Lyra said.

"Let me try a species that's been around for a while. How about a neimoidian?" The image on the screen changed again.

"Nope," Lyra answered.

"How the hell do you guys know about humans but no one else?" Zako was getting frustrated.

"We have old myths about humans," Lyra explained. "But there aren't any old stories on any of these others you keep showing us."

"How odd," Kyne mused.

"That makes no sense. Okay… okay," Zako tried to think of another way to begin. That the ponies knew about humans but no one else was too big a mystery to start off on. "Let's start with the basics… language. Namely, how we are all talking to each other."

"What's to know?" Rainbow Dash asked. "We can all understand each other."

"But we need an understanding of why that's possible." Zako pointed up an index finger into the air as he continued to pace back and forth. "It may help uncover where you ponies came from and lead us to a way to get you home."

"Oh."

"Right. So, normal people speak Galactic Basic. It's the Galaxy's trade language and has been for thousands of years. Earth was separated from galactic society for thousands of years, being discovered by the turians only recently. Yet earthers have a language just like Basic. Uh… uh… what do you call it again?" Zako turned to look back and forth between Ripley and Kyne.

"English," Kyne answered.

"English, right. Whatever." Zako stopped his pacing for a moment. "Now, the most commonly accepted view among academics is that some human exploration fleet must have crash-landed and became stranded on Earth thousands of years ago. Unable to fix their ships or call for help they were stranded and eventually their technology rusted away since they had no way to maintain it over the long term. So they reverted back to primitives as they slowly colonized the planet. They lost the technology but the language was passed down."

"There are a lot more languages on Earth besides English," Ripley said.

"Right, others grew on and so on as the humans lost their history and started separating into different groups," Zako dismissed Ripley's point quickly. "Earthers are just descendants of some poor fools who crashed on Earth thousands of years ago. The ponies speak Basic and can read the High Galactic alphabet. I'm guessing the same thing happened. They're descendants of a group that crash-landed and became stranded. They lost the technology but kept the language."

"I don't think that we're descendants of space aliens," Vinyl said. "Though that would be a pretty neat plot twist, huh?"

"There hasn't been a sentient species that fits their description, is there?" Kyne asked.

"No. That's the main problem," Zako admitted. "Humans were around already. So some humans crash-landed and had to re-start civilization on Earth. But we can't find a record of a species like theirs in the past."

"So, we're not space aliens?" Vinyl asked.

"How would we share your language, then?" Lyra asked.

"I don't know," Zako admitted. "Your situation seems like it matches up with the Earth humans rather well—"

"But," Kyne interrupted. "The idea that Earth's humans are descendants of ship-wrecked survivors is an unproven theory. There's never been a crash site found."

"It makes more sense than any other theory out there that explains the existence of earthers. And it certainly explains how we could possibly share a common language. The pony aliens picked up Galactic Basic somehow… I believe you ponies hail from some uncharted planet."

"It doesn't explain how we ended up on that ship," Vinyl said.

"Maybe cause we're awesome?" Dash suggested with a smirk.

"I'd believe that," Lyra agreed.

"Maybe we could move on to something else?" Ripley suggested. She had already had the Basic/English debate explained to her before.

"Right, fine. Moving on," Zako looked like he was about to speak again, but instead fell silent.

Everyone noticed Zako started making odd faces. Like if a popcorn kernel was stuck in his teeth, but instead of his teeth, it was stuck in his brain.

"What's wrong, Karl?" Lyra asked.

"Damn thing." Zako's cybernetic eye started looking off in different directions and he smacked himself upside the head. "I went forever without a connection to the network and now I'm having problems keeping the connection," Zako mumbled more to himself.

"Um, what?" Rainbow spoke up. "You're making waaayyy less sense than you usually do."

Zako's cybernetic eye stopped having a spaz attack and focused in on the blue pegasus. "Oh, I might as well mention it. I'm technically not completely human."

"What?" Lyra's eyes widened. "You told us you were a human. You even look like a human from the books of old myths. How can you not be human? Why would you lie to us?"

"Relax, Lyra." Zako didn't understand why the minty green unicorn was suddenly so upset. "I am a human. I was born a normal human. But, technically… I'm a bio-linked cyborg."

"What's that?" Vinyl asked.

"Allow me to explain. I lost my eye to shrapnel a couple years back. I got this artificial one installed as a replacement. And it actually works; it's not just for show. Anyway, this eye plugs into my brain and connects me to the wireless Separatist Droid Network. A connection to computer mainframes or networks is what separates bio-linked cyborgs from others cyborgs, like prosthetic cyborgs, implant cyborgs, rebuilt cyborgs, symbiont cyborgs, you get the idea."

"Maybe, could we, start with something simpler?" Rainbow asked. All this talk was cyborgs was a little much for her and she was certain that there were simpler things they needed to go over.

"Uh, okay. Maybe humans in general. Before we veered into cyborgs, we were talking about Earth humans and shared language. You should probably know a little about regular humans."

"Who's to say you're the 'regular' humans?" Ripley asked.

"Our numbers," Zako snidely answered. "Non-Earth humans are the most common intelligent species in the entire Galaxy. Now, most people believe that humans originated on the planet Coruscant, but no one is certain. Humans can be found everywhere."

"Is there magic in this world?" Lyra blurted out. "Before, you kept saying there wasn't, but it sure seems like there is."

"No, not as you ponies understand it. But there are a few things that are superficially similar."

"Why do you humans wear clothing so much?" Rainbow asked.

"What's your music like?" Vinyl asked.

"What are human mating habits like? Do you have a special human?" Lyra asked.

"Special human?" Zako asked.

"A mate," Vinyl clarified.

"Oh. No. And I'm not the one to ask about human mating habits—"

"Not a lot of experience, eh?" Rainbow grinned.

"Mating habits can differ greatly depending on region, or religion, or personal preference. It could take forever to go into specifics and there are more important things we need to go over anyway."

"What about—"

"Hang on," Zako cut off Vinyl. "You guys are askin' shit too fast. There's too much stuff to go through. I can't take it anymore. Kyne, you take over. I need a break."

"Aww, we've just started," Lyra whined.

"I'm no teacher," Zako said as he walked over and plopped down on the floor, defeated. "I'm beginning to think I should just hire you ponies a tutor. Go on, Doc, give them some kind of brief history of Earth or something."

"Very well, Commander." Dr. Kyne looked tired, but started to light up once he started lecturing about Earth and its recent history. After a few minutes, the ponies were absolutely shocked to learn just how violent Earth's history had been.

But even the shock of constant human self-destruction couldn't hold the ponies' attention. Not when something very interesting was happening behind them. Dr. Kyne fell silent while Ripley and the ponies turned around to see what in the galaxy Zako was doing.

They found the Separatist officer was playing with Jones.

"What in the ever-loving fuck?" Ripley was especially astonished. Jones didn't like strangers, yet the large tomcat seemed to have no problem with the Separatist officer.

"Ha ha! He's just like the baybomber cats from back home." Zako stopped when he realized everyone was staring at him. "What?"

"I didn't know you were so cuddly and mushy." Dash stuck out her tongue in mock distaste.

"What? I can't like cats?" Zako was feeling recharged after playing with Jones for a bit and letting his mind wander. "So, do you ponies know what electricity is?"

"Of course we do!" Vinyl said.

"Thank the Maker. Maybe this won't be as difficult as I feared."

Commander Zako soon found out he was wrong. A simple conversation on electricity and basic power turned into a conversation on technology. It took Zako forever to formally explain the concept of droids to the ponies. He had been around droids all his life; it had been so basic to him. Explaining it from scratch was beyond his ability.

"This is a computer." Zako was up and controlling the vidscreen again.

"Looks like a typewriter," Vinyl said, "I remember those on that ship from before."

"What's a typewriter?" Zako asked.

"Hmmm… how to explain it, girls?" Vinyl looked to Lyra and Rainbow for help.

"You have access to the Separatist Droid Network, the CIS Shadowfeed, and the extranet, right? You can look it up yourself," Kyne stated.

"Why would we have information on their technology?" Zako asked.

"Because we had typewriters on Earth generations ago," Ripley said.

"Oh." In a few minutes Zako pulled information on old Earth typewriters. "Wow, what a piece of junk. You earthers and you ponies used to use this ridiculous thing?"

"We still use them," Lyra said.

"Aren't you supposed to be teaching us stuff?" Rainbow said.

"Oh, right. Where were we, ah yes… computers.""

Eventually Zako had to get Kyne to explain computers and droids in a way the ponies could finally grasp. It turned out Kyne was much better at explaining technology to the ponies. Zako had more or less given up and started sarcastically explaining that modern science was basically magic with electricity added in.


Eventually, everyone had enough of the lecture and Zako wanted to greet the troops returning from the battle on Canalus anyway.

"I wanna know more about you, Karl," Lyra asked as they watched masses of troops and vehicles leave the dropships that entered the massive hangar.

"Me?"

"Yeah."

"There's not much to tell. I am a military officer and soldier for the Separatist Droid Army. I majored in history when I attended university in my youth. I'm also an engineer, technician, and pilot."

"Yeah and he's bad at everything he just listed," KJZ-8267 added as he approached the group.

"Hey. That's not true! I have over three hundred confirmed fighter kills. I'm an ace pilot."

"That might mean something if the clone pilots we fight against could fly worth a damn."

"It's not my fault our enemies suck."

"Try getting into a contest with him. You'll win every time," the pilot battle droid suggested to the ponies.

"I don't lose all the time!"

"Yeah you do. Try playing a game of chance with him. He has no luck."

"Will you shut up, KJZ-8267?"

The battle droid knew exactly what he was doing. He wasn't being mean to the commander for nothing. KJZ-8267 knew with Katen gone there would be a large hole in Zako's life. It would be a simple fix to fill it with frustration. Taking care of the ponies would distract the cyborg from his problems… for a time, or that was how KJZ-8267 understood the situation. Though there was the little problem of Zako not even knowing of Katen's passing yet.

"Wait…" Lyra realized something didn't add up. "Karl, you said you majored in history in school, right? Yet your also a technician?"

"Yeah."

"How does that work?" Rainbow asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Wouldn't you go to school to be a technician?" Lyra asked.

"Yeah," Vinyl said. "That's what Lyra and I did when we learned our talents. We became music majors to hone our skills."

"Why would I do that?" Zako asked.

"You're not making any sense." Rainbow smacked her head with her hoof. Stupid aliens and their nonsense making her crazy.

"I was already working on droids before I went to university. Why would I attend school to obtain skills I already had? I went to school to learn something new."

"Too bad you chose history," KJZ-8267 added before turning to the ponies. "All that degree has done is allowed him to bitch about the evils of the Galaxy in minute detail. Teaching you ponies about the Galaxy is going to be the first practical use he's ever had for that major."

"Yeah, thanks, KJZ-8267."

"Just being honest, Commander."


OOM-9 requested Dr. Quartz and Dr. Zox. It was time to see if they had uncovered anything about the ponies.

"The central control computers have gone through all available databases and have found over one hundred results for similar species," Dr. Zox said. The droid general could have accessed the information himself if not for the fact that he had been so preoccupied with the geth.

"And?"

"No exact matches, General," Quartz said. He fiddled with his pressure suit for a moment before continuing. "Our own scans of the ponies have proven inconclusive. We're dealing with a species for which we have no available data. And they seem to have no previous knowledge of our galaxy… with the exception that they understand Basic and can read the High Galactic alphabet. And they seem to know of humans, for some reason."

"Where did they come from then?" OOM-9 asked. "They can't just read the High Galactic alphabet out of nowhere. They had to have been exposed to it somehow."

"We're… not sure," Dr. Zox admitted.

"What about a temporal portal? Perhaps they are travelers from the future? Or the past?" OOM-9 suggested.

"That technology's only theoretical. I don't think these quadrupeds can even tell time, yet alone travel through it," Quartz's tone had more of an annoyed grumble to it than he had intended.

"What would you have us do?" Dr. Zox asked.

"Leave the pony aliens to me. You have a new toy to play with. We are bringing aboard the geth weather machine."


Once General OOM-9 was finished with his meeting with the scientists, he wirelessly contacted Commander Zako. Since Zako and the ponies were still ambling around in the hangar bay, OOM-9 decided to was time he met the three pony aliens in person.

"New plan," Zako told Lyra, Rainbow and Vinyl. "You're going to meet our leader, General OOM-9."

"Where did this come from, dude? Why wouldn't you mention this sooner?" Vinyl asked. It seemed weird that Karl would suddenly decide to take them to his leader out of nowhere.

"Just got a call from him. He wants to meet you."

"Okay," Lyra said. The minty green mare was very worried about what might go wrong while meeting the leader, like being banished or making a bad impression.

"Be very respectful and you'll do fine," Zako said.

"Yayap and Krunch couldn't come too?" Vinyl asked.

"The General only wanted me to bring you. Plus Krunch and Yayap have their own stuff to worry about. They just got back from a battle and need to rest a bit. Just so you know, this is probably the most powerful figure you will ever meet, if you're lucky." Zako knew there were a lot worse military or political leaders the ponies could meet. General OOM-9 was the best option they could have hoped for.

"I have a bad feeling about this," there was a tiny crack of worry in Lyra's voice.

"I'm not trying to stress you guys out. I'm just making sure you're aware of the situation."

"Oh, thanks for that," Rainbow's voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"Don't worry. Nothing bad will happen. I'm a very close friend of the General. He trusts me. You've come under my protection. Even if I weren't here the General would respect that."

"I hope so," Vinyl Scratch said.

"Relax. You're friends with me, which means you're friends with him. Just… be polite."

It was easy for Zako to pick out the battle droid general amid the hundreds of other droids troops still leaving the transports and landing craft.

The ponies couldn't make out the leader from all the others until Zako pointed him out. The droid's slender frame combined with his face and bipedal stance made him look like a hybrid between a pony and a human… that also happened to be a skeleton, the same as so many of the other droids.

"Greetings. I am Commander General OOM-9 of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. I hold no political office, but you will find that will make this all the easier for you."

"Hello," Lyra tried to be formal but just felt awkward instead. The entire meeting felt awkward. This was far more informal than Lyra would have thought. She hoped Rainbow would take over. The blue pegasus was better at this sort of thing, being an Element of Harmony and all. "I'm Lyra Heartstrings."

"I'm Rainbow Dash."

"And I'm Vinyl Scratch."

"From what planet do you hail?" OOM-9 pointedly asked.

"We do not know," Rainbow answered. "We're not sure of what you're looking for."

"Very peculiar." OOM-9 tilted his slender head to the side.

"We do not have space travel," Lyra explained.

"Do you have a specific homeland you associate yourselves with?"

"Yes. We all come from Equestria."

"And what of your leadership?" the command battle droid asked.

"We are ruled by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."

"Princess Luna?" Zako repeated. "Luna… where have I heard that name before?"

"Luna is the name of Earth's moon," OOM-9 pulled up the information from the network's databanks.

"Another odd connection to the Earth humans," Zako said. "General, I apologize for not being able to determine the origin of the ponies."

"You're forgiven, Commander." OOM-9 turned back to the ponies. "Do you have any enemies?"

"Yeah," Rainbow answered. The changelings came to mind, as well as several others.

"Good." The ponies were surprised at the droid's statement. "That means you've stood up for something in your life. Do you have any plans for the immediate future?"

"Not really," Vinyl said. "We don't know how we got here or how to get back home. And we don't really have a starting point to try and find a way home."

"I understand you've become friends with Commander Zako. He is a good friend of mine. And a friend of his is a friend of mine. You are free to stay or leave the safety of the 8th Fleet. The choice is yours."

"I think we'll stay, at least for a while," Lyra spoke before consulting with either Rainbow or Vinyl.

"Very good. If you require anything then all you need is ask and it will be provided."

General OOM-9 was a master at manipulating situations to his advantage. The xenomorphs, the necromorphs, the weird magical ponies, most military leaders would have tried to cover these beings up, wipe them from official records and hide them from the public. They would have tried to capture them, study them, and control them. General OOM-9 preferred to let the truth roam free. If word spread around the Galaxy about the new hyper-violent parasitic alien life forms then hundreds of systems from both the Republic and the Citadel would be begging to join the CIS in order to come under the protective umbrella of the droid armies.

The meeting was mercifully short and the battle droid general soon took his leave.

"That was… quick," Rainbow said.

"General OOM-9 is not a pompous windbag, unlike most politicians. Well, the General really isn't a politician at all, which is why he is so agreeable to be around."

They reached Dr. Kyne, who had been watching the droid army move about as he waited on them. Ripley had already left with Jones.

"Now that I think about it," Zako mused as he waved at Kyne. "There is some really important stuff you ponies need to learn."

"C'mon," Rainbow whined. "You can't just throw everything at us at once. We're not gonna be able to remember anything."

Zako sighed. "I don't like it either. But this is some serious life and death stuff. You need to know about the Jedi, what they can do, and what they might do to you if they learn about your existence."

"They're that bad?" Vinyl asked.

"Oh yea—"

"Not as bad as the Commander makes them out to be," Dr. Kyne interrupted.

"Oh, but they are, Doctor."

"Commander, I think it would be better if I were to explain the Jedi. Your views on them might be a little—"

"Accurate. But okay, let's hear what you have to say about Jedi, Doctor Kyne."

"Maybe another time," Rainbow insisted. "Seriously, you eggheads are gonna fry my noggin. Give us a break."

"The Jedi will likely consider your magical abilities a threat, if they discover them," Zako said.

"That is unlikely," Kyne countered.

"These days it is, Doctor. They're becoming more brutal than ever as the war drags on. They might very well consider the ponies a threat to their established power."

"It's just the three of us," Vinyl said.

"The Republic started the war over three people," Zako said.

"Really? A war over three people?" Lyra couldn't believe it. It seemed too implausible to start a war over three people. How would that even happen?

"The Commander is not exaggerating that point," Kyne conceded. The Clone Wars did start with an invasion of Geonosis to rescue a Republic senator and two Jedi. This was common knowledge, even to the ignorant masses living in Citadel territory. There was a lot more socio-political problems between the systems that chose to secede from the Republic and those that remained loyal, but the inescapable fact was the Galactic Republic Loyalists struck first… to save three people (and yet ended up losing so many more in the process).

"How 'bout you guys save that story for another time?" Rainbow suggested.

Vinyl felt sick to her stomach. The mention of some group known as Jedi and the possibility that they could be targeted by a hostile force was a bit much to take. She felt like she was a sponge and had just been used to soak up a slick puddle of vomit, the icky queasiness clogging every pore of her being. She didn't want to deal with the situation anymore. She wanted to go home.

Zako saw EEK-176 nearby. "Hold on, gotta go talk to someone real quick." He excused himself from the group.

"Hey, EEK-176."

"Hello, Zako."

"How was the battle?"

"Enjoyable. You can see all the footage later. We'll do our best to try and bring you along the next time we fight the geth."

"Hey, have you seen Katen around? I haven't seen her in forever. I know that lazy bitch isn't doing much and I could sure use some help supervising the pony aliens."

EEK-176 paused… for a long time. "Uh…"

"What?"

EEK-176 did not want to be the one to tell Zako, no droid did. But someone had to.

"Commander. Major Ashley Katen was killed in action." EEK-176 just started at Zako, who looked like he was just staring off into space as if his auditory systems weren't functioning properly.

"WHAT?" Zako finally snapped back to life.

"Ashley's dead, Karl."

"How could she… When the fuck did this happen? On Canalus? Oddworld?"

"She died on the Ishimura."

"The Ishimura? What the fuck are you talking about, EEK?" Zako demanded. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"She was unsatisfied with the time it was taking Zaeed and his team to collect you. And they weren't answering any of our calls for a progress update. She took a small team and headed out to acquire you herself."

"And you let her go during that big ass fight on Oddworld?"

"The battle is precisely why she set out with such a small team, or we all would have went after you. You know Ashley. She would have went after you even if we told her no."

It finally dawned on Zako that Katen was the one that brought the Separatist shuttle had he had used to escape. He had escaped and left her behind. "How the fuck could she die? I survived. Without a weapon for half the time I was there!"

"We could only spare a team of koorivar fusiliers and gossam commandos."

"Why the hell didn't you send the HouseKarls and the Z1s with her?"

"They were all deployed at the Battle of Oddworld already. We had to use reserves. And we sent 8EX and 5TE with her."

"8EX and 5TE were there? What the fuck happened? Those two should have been able to get her through all that shit alive just fine! What the fuck happened?"

"I'll unlock the footage for you." EEK-176 disabled the lock on the 8EX and 5TE's video feed from the Ishimura encounter. Zako immediately accessed it through the network and started to watch it. He saw what the two super battle droids saw as the shuttle exited hyperspace in front of Aegis VII, all the way to docking in the Ishimura and the subsequent necromorph attack that wiped out the entire team. Zako saw what happened every step of the way, until the video cut out.

"Hey, what?"

"The next part is where the Major dies," EEK-176 said.

"Unblock that footage."

"We have talked amongst each other and have decided that isn't' something you need to see."

"Yes… I need to see it."

"No you don't, Zako. You are in a fragile enough state of mind as it is. We've gone through all the footage provided by your cybernetic eye. Your actions on the Ishimura during that crisis are an embarrassment."

"I was alone and surrounded by a bunch of monsters. What do you want from me? I don't do well when I'm not in a group. I've never hidden that fact from you guys."

"You are not a child, Commander. You should have handled yourself better."

"Well, considering I'm still alive, I think I did a damn good job keeping everything together. Now unblock the damn footage."

EEK-176 did as his friend asked. Zako saw the rest, the super battle droids being destroyed by the exploder, Katen… being killed.

Zako was quiet when the video finally cut out. His face was an emotionless blank slate—the face of a droid. Zako realized why Katen, 8EX and 5TE were defeated—bad luck. 8EX and 5TE just happened to get caught by one of the exploding necromorphs, Katen just happened to get caught by a puker before she could react.

"It's that damn electrostaff of hers," Zako spoke to EEK-176 through the network, rather than with actual words. "She always preferred her staff. But it's a blunt weapon. You need to cut the necromorphs apart. If she had brought a war-axe or a war-scythe she would have been fine."

Zako knew anger; regret or sorrow couldn't bring Katen back from the dead. Her death didn't quite sink in yet, Zako still expected Katen to show up around a corner at any second still. Now he understood why DSD-08 was in such a bad mood. Katen was dead. It didn't seem real.

Tension started to well up in his head. Zako felt like he had been thrown off into some alternate time stream where Katen died. She wasn't supposed to die. She was too skilled at fighting to die so miserably. He always expect he would bite the dust before she did.

"How could you let her go after me?" Zako asked again as if he were a broken holo recording.

"As if I could stop her. She always looked after you."

"She could barely take care of herself. Let alone me. Excuse me, I gotta go use the fresher."

There were plenty of people Zako could blame for Katen's death. The first person he thought to blame was himself. If he had just let the quarians go back on Oddworld, he would never had been captured and taken to Aegis VII in the first place. But he was just following orders as instructed by OOM-9, and he could hardly fault the battle droid general for what had happened. 8EX and 5TE could not be blamed for their failure. They did nothing wrong. It had all been bad luck. Then of course, he could blame Tali and the quarians. They were the ones that were planting geth parts on Oddworld; they took him, Yayap and Krunch hostage. The quarians were the reason they had ended up at Aegis VII. But arriving at Aegis VII wouldn't have been a death sentence if not for the CEC's illegal mining operation. Or the Church of Unitology could be blamed for ripping the Marker from the planet and starting the outbreak. Or he could blame Dr. Mercer for helping spread the necromorphs faster. And he could certainly blame EarthGov for creating the damn Marker in the first place, though the specific people in EarthGov responsible for that were all long dead. Zako could even blame Katen for being so reckless in the first place for coming after him with such a small team. But the real culprit was, of course, the necromorphs. But they had all been wiped out, and Zako could no longer extract his revenge upon them. So Zako was left with frustration and no target to take out his anger on.

Zako was relieved there was no one else in the fresher. He was so incredibly tired now, and he felt a terrible headache coming on. He went over the sink and turned on the water. He splashed a few handfuls of water on his face.

As he looked up into the mirror he yelped and stumbled back, nearly falling on his ass. He saw her in the mirror! He saw Katen! She was looking right at him! He turned around… but she wasn't there.

"What the fuck?" Zako immediately connected to EEK-176 via the network. "I saw her! I saw Katen!"

"What are you talking about, Commander?"

"She was here! In the fresher! Right behind me! I swear! Check the footage from my eye! She's here!"

EEK-176 reviewed the footage from Zako's cybernetic eye, but saw nothing but the commander freaking out about… no one. "Commander, Katen is not there."

"She was! I saw her! She was right there! I swear it!" Over the network, Zako demanded 3B3-888, DSD-08, KJZ-8267, and SSA-719 look over the footage. All the droids reported back that Katen was not there.

"This can't be!" Zako examined the recording and played to himself. She wasn't there. "I saw her! I did! She was fucking right behind me!"

"Commander, I think you need some rest. You've had a really bad day and need to recharge."

"Alright," Zako agreed with EEK-176. "I… I could use some sleep." He looked around the fresher, hoping Katen would reveal herself again. He knew what he saw. He wasn't crazy… or was he?


OOM-9, EEK-176, OOM-8, Z23-Y75, and TH-1066 had all gathered for a secret meeting on the Karajor's observation spire. They needed to meet in person for what they were going to discuss; they couldn't risk their conversation over the network, where others could learn what they were up to. And of course all recording and observational devices in the room itself had been deactivated. For they were setting their own plans and policies regarding the Confederacy without the knowledge, permission, or approval of Count Dooku, the Separatist Council, the Separatist Senate, or any other political leader. Fear and distrust of droids was high (in no small part thanks to the geth) even within the Confederacy of Independent Systems. While droids had were treated better in the CIS than anywhere else, they were not trusted to make high-level decisions on their own. If the organic leadership ever found out the droids were planning behind their backs, OOM-9 and the others would surely be sentenced to have their memories wiped, or maybe even be smelted down if their organic overlords were excessively fearful. There was always a fear of a droid revolution, especially after the geth uprising two hundred years ago.

But OOM-9 and the others were not planning on a droid revolution; they were merely planning out the survival of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. But others might not see it that way.

"Our actions against the geth will go a long way in building trust with the organic races. They should begin to distinguish between us and the geth," OOM-9 said.

"You underestimate the power of their bigotry," TH-1066 stated. "You're experiences with officers Zako and Katen has clouded your judgment on organic behavior and habits."

"There are others besides those two that support droid equality," EEK-176 corrected the tactical droid.

"Not nearly enough to make an impact on attitudes regarding droids," TH-1066 said.

"I'm curious as to why the geth were testing an experimental device so far away from their own territory. It would make more sense that they test within their own borders to avoid their enemies discovering what they're doing," OOM-8 brought up a good point. No one could come up with a satisfactory theory as to the geth's strange behavior.

"Regardless of the geth," Z23-Y75 said. "We need to bring the Citadel into this war. We are losing too much ground. We need to release a new opponent for the Republic so we can build up our forces and start to reclaim our conquered worlds."

"The process has been accelerated," EEK-176 said. "But it's still taking too much time. We may have to consider a military coup against General Grievous and direct all droid armies ourselves."

"General Grievous' success rate is questionable," TH-1066 stated. "And he lacks the social skills necessary for the title of Supreme Commander. His abrasive personality conflicts too greatly with the civilian political leadership. They are constantly at odds with one another and it is sabotaging the Confederate military's ability to perform at optimal capacity."

"I'm surprised Count Dooku has put up with Grievous for so long," EEK-176 wondered as he pulled up a list of several of Grievous' military blunders. There were also several successes, but not nearly enough. The Confederacy was losing the war… and badly. "We won't be able to hold out much longer. Dooku is no fool. He has to realize this."

"Which makes me wonder what is really going on," OOM-9 said. "Dooku's actions make no sense. He must be withholding information from us."

"We cannot operate on blind trust alone," OOM-8 stated.

"Agreed," OOM-9 said. "But I do not wish to risk a coup. Not at this point. We lack too much information."

"Then we will have to continue to rely on our information network," TH-1066 said.

"Perhaps General Grievous will die in battle in the next month or so," Z23-Y75 offered. "Then we will be able to take control without overthrowing the established chain of command."

"No," OOM-8 said. "He's gotten too skilled at running away and saving himself."

"We will wait and see," OOM-9 decided. "We're running out of places to retreat to. Grievous will have to stand and fight eventually. Either he succeeds and the problem is solved, or he fails and we take direct control. Either way, we win."

"Oddworld's already been hit," Z23-Y75 said. "Balaho or Te could easily be next. And we're barely holding onto Cato Neimoidia as it is."

"At the rate we're going, the Republic will be attacking the Zalost system before the end of the year," EEK-176 stated after the control computers complied a long list of combat statistics. "Our main factories are in danger."

"We will stop them at Zakkudos," OOM-9 said with complete confidence. "They will never take that planet. Or it will be the end of us."


Author's Note: This chapter is named after a mission in Mass Effect 2. The mission from the game is the same as in this chapter, though on a larger scale. There are many more geth in this chapter than there were in the actual game.

OOM-8 and TH-1066 are OCs that appeared in OOM-9's Revenge. Z23-Y75 appeared in OOM-9's Revenge and in Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds. The super battle droids 8EX and 5TE also appear in OOM-9's Revenge.

Donnel Udina appeared in Mass Effect, Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 3.

The grambos appeared in Wakfu. Though Wakfu is not listed as one of the official fictional universes in this mega crossover, I may include a few things anyway. I always liked the grambos; they look like badass jawas to me. And they looked like they would fit in well enough with the other species that make up the CIS.

Dr. Zox is an OC. His name is one letter away from Nox (a character from Wakfu).

The bugs are from Armorines: Project S.W.A.R.M. I'm including them as a part of the CIS, but I'm not fully integrating the Armorines universe into this story.