It was a cool Autumn Saturday morning. The neighborhood was peaceful like usual, the occasional car driving by, a few people are out raking the leaves that has shed from the once green trees. It seemed like a lazy Saturday in general. A lazy Saturday for all except for one particular family.
"A little to the right...aaaaaaaaand there!" The middle aged canine gets off the step-ladder as he examines his handiwork.
Papa Rappa hung up a banner in the living room, one that reads *WELCOME HOME MOM!*
"How are the balloons coming?" Papa looks over at his two children, who were decorating the living room with balloons. Primarily the ones with corny messages like *WELCOME BACK* and *I LOVE YOU MOM*.
"All done!" Parappa exclaims as he and his little sister finish tying the balloons down around the living room.
"I can't wait for Mommy to get home...I miss her so much..." Pinto whimpers, longing for her mother to return.
"Don't worry sweetie, she'll be here soon." Papa Rappa pats his daughter on the shoulder. "Alright...we have the banner up, and the balloons too. I feel like we're forgetting something though..." The older dog rubs his chin in thought.
"...a clown?" Parappa shrugs his shoulders.
"No clown! No clown!" Pinto shouts, freaked out over the mention of clowns.
"Parappa, this is just a little welcome back party, not a kids birthday party." After saying that, Papa realized what he forgot. "Aaaa! I forgot to get a cake!" He groans with a face palm.
"We can't have a welcome back party without a cake! A party without a cake is like a rap battle without me!" Parappa exclaims.
Papa Rappa looks down at his watch. "Hmm...we still have some time before she gets here. I'll go to the store real quick and get one."
"Ooo! Can I pick out which one?" Pinto asks her Dad with an innocent expression.
"Sure sweetie." Her father says as he puts on his jacket.
"Yay!" The blonde puppy cheers as she too slips on her pink coat.
"You want me to come too?" Parappa looks over at his father, who is in a hurry.
"No, I want you to stay here in case your mother comes home early." Papa explains as he is about to head out the door. As he reaches for the door knob, he freezes. "Oh, and uh...watch out for him." Papa Rappa points upstairs, referring to the homeless and still unemployed Karate Master.
"Chop Chop Master Onion? Why are you worried about him?" The young pup raises his eyebrow at his father's request.
"Because if you're not here, I don't want your mother to come home to see some random guy playing on your game. Plus, I only told her that we have a guest staying with us...If she found out how unpleasant he really is, she might be upset." Parappa's Dad makes his request clear.
"Chop Chop's not unpleasant! He's the opposite! He's...uh...ununpleasant!"
"You mean pleasant?"
"Whatever! Plus, he's still sleeping. So he probably won't even be up by the time Mom gets here." Parappa responds as he leans against the arm of the sofa.
"He's still sleeping?! It's almost Noon!" Papa looks at his son in a bewildered fashion.
"Sensei says that sleeping in is almost like meditating." Parappa shrugs.
"C'mooooon! We have to go Daddy! I don't want to miss Mom coming home!" Pinto whines as she tugs on her Dad's arm, clearly impatient.
"Okay! Okay! We're going! We'll be back in a bit!" Papa says his goodbyes as he and Pinto head out the door.
After his father and sister leave, Parappa scratches his butt as he heads up the staircase.
He quietly opens the door to his room, just enough to peek his head in. The young teen sees his karate teacher still sleeping on the floor, as well as his boombox, who is sitting at the foot of Parappa's bed while reading his secret Electronics Monthly magazine with an aroused look.
"Zzzz...kick...punch...zzzz." Chop Chop Master Onion sleep talks as he toss and turns in his sleeping spot on the floor.
"Pfft...silly sensei." Parappa quietly chuckles to himself as he stealthily closes the door.
The rap dog walks back into the living room and plops himself down on the sofa. Kicking his feet up on the coffee table.
"I wonder what's on TV?" Parappa says to himself as he turns on the television with the remote.
*Click*
"Hello everyone, I'm Joe Newspaper, and here are today's top stories." The newscaster clears his throat as he looks at the papers in front of him.
"Last night in Parappa Town, a house on Sycamore Avenue was burned down. Fire officials say that it is unclear what caused the initial fire, but they have ruled out arson. Luckily, the family inside came out unscathed. Here's Pete Microphone at the scene."
The News then cuts to a field reporter with a microphone for a head standing in front of the burned down house.
"Thanks Joe, I'm here at the scene now with Fire Chief Walter Puddle." The camera turns slightly to the right, revealing the overweight Dalmatian. "Chief Puddle, what can you tell us about this fire?"
"Well, when we first-"
"Uh...speak in the mic please." The reporter looks at the dog with a creeped out expression as he points to the microphone he has at his hand, whereas the Fire Chief was speaking right into his ear.
"Oh, uh...well, when we first got here last night, I smelled something yummy and crispy. I thought that the family had some steaks cookin in there, but it turned out it was just their cat." The canine chief explains, the reporter awkwardly looking at him in response.
"Uh...alright...anything else?"
"Well, the family got out okay, but everything inside that house is burnt to a crisp. The only thing that was left untouched was some creepy looking doll-"
*Click*
"Boooooring." Parappa moans with boredom as he changes channels.
"Welcome back to Ultra Championship Wrestling! Currently underway is a match up between Flipper McFlip and the reigning UCW Champion Dan *Dough Boy* Douglas!" The announcer shouts as the camera shows two wrestlers grappling each other inside the wrestling ring.
"There goes Flipper with the flipper slaps!" The blue penguin wrestler slaps his overweight human opponent over and over again with his flipper.
"He's still giving Dough Boy the slap! And again! And again. And again..."
"Oh just wait a second! Dough Boy just reversed it with a clothesline!"
"My god, he almost took Flipper's head clean off!"
"Wait! What's Dough Boy doing?!"
"It...It appears he's climbing to the top turnbuckle!"
"He's turning around...oh god he's not doing what I think he's about to do!"
"A guy who's a hundred pounds overweight is about to perform a 450 backwards shooting star press! This should end well!"
"There he goes and BAH GOD HE JUST LANDED ON HIS NECK!"
"I expected this to happen to be honest..."
"BAH GOD ALMIGHTY STOP THE MATCH! STOP THE DAMN MATCH-"
*Click*
"Fake." Parappa sighs in an unrelieved fashion. "Nothing good is ever on."
The teen yawns as he goes to change the channel, but unknowingly hits the dark green, rectangular button. With the click of the button, Parappa's Dad's experimental shrink ray activates, shooting a light blue energy beam towards the windowsill. Parappa turns his head towards the noise and jumps out of his seat with fright as he sees his father's work in progress go off.
The shrink ray appears to be on it's growth mode as the ray's target begins to enlarge. As the beam dissipates, Guru Ant, who is now about six feet tall, is sitting on the windowsill. He has a "Thorax Galore" magazine in two of his hands as his eyes are widened with shock. The purple insect throws the magazine out of his hands as he freaks out.
"Wh-wh-WHAT THE?! Wh-why am I not my normal size! I'm too big! I'm TOO BIG!" The frantic ant holds his head with all four of his hands as he loses his cool.
"Oh shoot! I'm sorry teacher!" Parappa apologizes, trying to calm down the Guru.
After a few moments pass, Guru Ant takes a deep breath through his nose, and exhales out of his mouth. "Parappa...I would love nothing more than for you to turn me back to normal. Can you please do that?" He explains as he regains his usual calm composure.
"Oh! Uh, yeah sure. No problem!" The young teen pup utters as he taps the green rectangular button again.
...
Nothing happens.
"...I told you to turn me back!" The Guru becomes panicky once again as Parappa nervously flinches.
"I-I'm trying! Nothing's happening!" The pup exclaims as he continues pressing the button, only for absolutely nothing to happen each time.
As Parappa attempts to conciliate the unnerved anthropomorphic ant, Papa's shrink ray fizzles and sparks. Due to all the commotion being made by Parappa and Guru Ant, neither of them notice the machine malfunctioning. Even when the contraption ignites with a small flame.
"Are you trying to play me like a fool, kid?! This isn't funny anymore!" The aggravated guru shouts at the poor kid, whimpering from the hostility.
"I-I'm not tryin' to play you! I swear! This thing isn't working!" Parappa mumbles, not wanting to look at the ant's angry face.
As they continue to bicker and fight, the shrink ray's fire becomes bigger as the machine is now engulfed in flames.
"Well!...I don't know, put new batteries in it!" The ant raises his top set of arms in a frustrated fashion as his bottom set of arms are on his hips.
"I put new batteries in this thing yesterday! It shouldn't need new ones yet!" Parappa argues, getting a little vexed himself.
"Well maybe you bought cheap ass batteries?!" Guru Ant frowns.
"Hey! I'll have you know these are Supercell brand batteries! These are-" Before the pup could finish his sentence, he sniffed the air with a disgusted look. "Wait...do you smell something...smoky?"
Guru Ant sniffs the air too. "Huh?...yeah...it kinda smells like...bacon."
"Bacon doesn't smell like burning plastic." Parappa stares at the big ant man.
"...Okay, I never ate bacon before! So what?!" The guru folds his arms as he looks to the ground with minor embarrassment.
"You never had bacon before?" Parappa gasps with shock at this sudden revelation.
"It's kinda hard to eat bacon when you're a centimeter tall okay!" Guru Ant shouts, getting defensive.
"Well I mean you can OH MY GOSH!" Parappa screams as he finally turns around to see his father's shrink ray on fire.
The dog and the ant look on in horror for a second before Parappa speaks again. "Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh okay okay okay I have to stay calm. I have to-"
"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!" Guru Ant immediately lost the last bit of cool he had left as he panics, running around in circles while flailing his four arms.
As Parappa is desperately trying to think of a way to put out the fire and calm down the purple bug at the same time, Chop Chop Master Onion descends down the stairs with a tired, annoyed expression.
"What the hell is with all the noise?! I was in the middle of the best dream where I was in my Dojo playing Worldcr-" The Karate Master stops dead in his tracks as he finally sees the madness going on.
"Sensei, please do something!" Parappa pleads his teacher with tears in his eyes, the dog was frightened and confused.
Chop Chop's heart begins to pound as he looks at his student, then at the screaming ant person, and then at the burning shrink ray. All with an alarmed look plastered on the Onion's face.
A moment later, that look on his face was gone, replaced with a face of determination. Chop Chop Master Onion cautiously approached the blazing machine, smelling the smoke and feeling the searing heat as he got next to it. With a fierce but alert look in his eyes, Chop Chop got in a fighting stance.
"HIIIIIYATATATATATAAAA! Kick!" Master Onion yelled as he karate kicked the machine off the little table it was on and onto the floor. All this accomplished was that the carpet was beginning to burn as well. Plus as Chop Chop Master Onion kicked the burning invention, his pant leg caught fire.
"AAAAACHOTOTOTOTOTAAAAAA!" The Karate Teacher screamed with fright as he began to drop to the floor and roll around, desperately trying to stop his worn karate robes from burning.
Parappa was so scared and confused on what to do he started to cry. His unsteady breathing and panicked whimpering was deafened by the screams coming from the Guru and the karate master. The front door then opened a moment later.
Papa Rappa and Pinto walked through the door. "Hey, we're ba-" Was all Papa was able to say before he saw the chaos unfolding in the living room. The middle aged dog dropped the cake he was holding with fear in his eyes as Pinto let out a piercing scream.
"DAD! HELP!" Parappa ran towards his father, scared out of his mind.
Pinto continued to scream and cry at the sight of the spreading fire and the two fully grown men panicking as Papa Rappa desperately tried to think of a plan.
"Parappa! Take your sister and go outside! Then call 9-1-1! I'm going to try to put out the fire! Now go!" Papa demands as he grabs a blanket from the couch to attempt to smother the fire.
Parappa takes a hold of the sobbing Pinto's shoulders, trying to talk over Guru Ant's and Chop Chop's screams. "Pinto! PINTO! We have to go! We have to go!"
"B-B-But D-Daddy!" Pinto sniffles and sobs, not wanting to escape without her father.
"He'll be okay! Please! We have to go!" Parappa begs his little sister.
"I-I WANT M-MOMMY!" Pinto howls, terrified.
Parappa has no other choice, he bent down and picked up Pinto. As he was about to run out the door, it swings open.
"MOM!"
Parappa and Pinto shout in unison as they see their mother come in. The blonde canine woman dropped her luggage as she stared at the mayhem going on in her living room. A screaming Ant dressed as some kind of guru running around in circles, an onion man partially on fire rolling on the floor, her two terrified children staring at her, and her husband attempting to smother the fire with a blanket.
Without saying a word, Mama Rappa bolted towards the kitchen, hurdling over the burning man with ease. She threw open the doors to the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a fire extinguisher. She rushed back into the living room and immediately dosed the flames with the white, foamy agent. After that fire has been put out she sprayed Chop Chop, stopping his robes from burning even more. The house was saved in a matter of ten seconds.
Chop Chop and Guru Ant stop screaming as The Rappa family rejoice in a hug.
"Mom!", "Mommy!", "Honey!" Parappa, Pinto, and Papa exclaimed all at once as they hugged the returning mother.
"My babies!" The blonde woman kissed both her children several times before kissing her husband passionately.
Chop Chop Master Onion stares at the blonde cream colored dog with a blush as she embraces her family.
"What happened?" She asks, wondering what had happened moments before she arrived.
"I-I tried to change the channel and then the thingy made Guru Ant big and he yelled at me and-and-and It caught on fire!" Parappa gasps for air after he quickly explains in one breath.
"Wait what?!" Papa Rappa quickly glances down at the burnt machine covered in foam, realizing that it was in fact his machine. "Oh no!" Papa looks saddened over the destruction of his shrink ray.
"Excuse me? Not to interrupt this little family reunion. But I need to get small again." Guru Ant says, calming down a little now that the fire is gone.
Papa stares at the bearded ant with a death glare as he points to the crispy machine, hoping the guru would put two and two together.
After a few seconds at looking at the ruined shrink ray, Guru Ant finally gets the idea. "Oh...just...just fix it up."
"Fix it up? Fix it up?! Do you know what kind of materials are used to make a shrink ray? Let's just say that they're expensive." Papa Rappa frowns at the insect, not in the mood for games.
"Well what am I going to do? Everything I own is unusable at this point!" The ant complains, folding his arms again.
"Well, there's a decent hotel downtown. You can stay there until I eventually make another shrink ray." The older dog suggests, readjusting his hat.
"Hotel? I've been living in this house for six years, you can't just kick me to the curb!" The guru protests, not wanting to leave his home.
"Come on Dad, he has a point." Parappa speaks up, defending the guru.
"No!..." The father crosses his arms with a huff.
"Honey, if he's been living here, we can't kick him out of his own home." The firefighter says, siding with the purple ant as well.
Papa looks into his wife's dark beady eyes for a while until he exhales. "Okay...alright. Fine."
"Speaking of, didn't you say we have another person staying here?" The blonde canine asks her husband as she picks up her daughter with ease, holding her.
"Oh yeah...him." Papa points at the karate teacher with the semi burnt karate robes.
"K-Kon-Kon...Konichiwa." The onion blushes as he awkwardly bows.
Just then the woman's face lit up with surprise. "Hang on a minute, I know you!"
"Y-you do?" Chop Chop raises his eyebrow.
"Yeah! You're the guy from Romantic Karate, right? You have no idea how much I loved that show!" The woman smiles brightly at the onion, all the while Papa Rappa is shocked upon finding out his wife is a fan of him.
"Really?" Chop Chop rubs the back of his neck with a smile.
"Yeah! I was so sad when it suddenly ended! Why was it cancelled?" She asks the former local television star, expressing disappointment that the show stopped.
"Oh! Well uh...um...It was cancelled because..er...my Romantic Karate skill was so good, it made the owner of the studio very jealous! Yes! So that was why I don't have a show anymore...and then I became homeless...and loveless..." Chop Chop slouched with sadness.
"Aww, you poor thing. You can stay here for as long as you need to!" The canine woman puts a comforting hand on the onion's shoulder, making him blush more now.
"W-why thank you Mrs. Rappa." He cheers up after hearing that, all the while Papa Rappa quietly murmurs to himself. "Great..."
"Ah, I'm not one for formalities. Just call me by my first name, Phoenix!" She adjusts her grip on Pinto with a grin.
"Okay...Phoenix." Chop Chop Master Onion reddens as he smirks a little.
"Sooooo, where am I gonna sleep?" Guru Ant interrupts the conversation.
"Well, I guess you can stay in my room." Parappa offers casually.
"No! No way! I'm not letting any more grown men sleep in your room Parappa." Papa bluntly states, putting his hands on his hips.
"He's not going to stay in my room, right Daddy?" Pinto looks at her father, not wanting to share a room with him.
"Don't worry Sweetie, if he does, I'll call the police." Papa assures his daughter.
"Well can I stay in your ro-"
"No!" Papa barks at the purple insect. "I'll make some space for you in the attic."
The grown dog looks down at the burnt machine, as well as the burnt carpet surrounding it. He sighs with dismay, not looking forward to throwing away the contraption he's worked so hard on, and replacing the living room carpet with something that isn't burnt.
"Oh relax honey." Phoenix puts her daughter down and hugs her husband. "I'm really glad to be back...and tonight, we're going to have some fun." She smirks as the married couple both lovingly giggle with each other.
"Alright! We're going to have some fun!" Parappa smiles at hearing this, not understanding what his mom literally meant. "Yaaay!" Pinto cheers too.
The husband and wife look at each other with discomfort before speaking. "Uh...yeah! We'll have a family fun night!" Mama Rappa rolls along with it.
"Nothing says family fun night like a game of Existence." Parappa folds his arms with a smile.
...
Later that night, the Rappa's, Chop Chop Master Onion, and Guru Ant sit at the kitchen table, playing Existence. Which is a board game that basically is the Parappa version of Life.
Parappa spins the number wheel and moves his character piece. The rapper stops at the space and picks up a card.
"Due to all the hardwork you do at the office, your boss gives you an additional $1000 on payday! Yeah!" Parappa cheers after he reads the card, putting more play money into his pile.
Next it was the Guru's turn. He spins the wheel and moves his piece.
"After getting into a heated argument with your grandma, you murder her in cold blood. Go directly to jail...ah crap." Guru Ant huffs with frustration as he drops the card, mad that he got penalized.
It was then the karate teacher's turn. He moves his character piece to the space and collects his card.
"After losing interest with you, your fiancé decides to leave you...wait 3 turns..." Chop Chop solemnly looks at the ground as everyone at the table becomes awkwardly silent. A minute later, Parappa breaks the quietude.
"I caught Boxxy Boy kissing the toaster earlier."
