Chapter 29

You Always Want What You Can't Have

Sonny hung up the phone and smiled. He felt his dick harden in his Italian suit from the final scream he heard from Elizabeth's mouth. He pictured that mouth around his own cock and groaned. She is an amazing woman.

He wished Kate could be like that. Sure, she's independent and beautiful and great in bed. She's also scared and standoffish and a bit of a prude in the bedroom. She grew up with him, surrounded by the life and now that she has fought to completely cocoon herself from the danger, she haphazardly falls back into Sonny's arms and fear constantly pulls at her. He loves her and she's terrified of him.

Elizabeth isn't terrified of Jason. Elizabeth is the perfect woman, the woman of every man's dreams.

"How did Jason get so damned lucky?" he sighed.

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Weeks passed and Jason stayed in town for the most part. It was the fall wedding season in Florida and Elizabeth's band had at least three gigs each weekend. It wrenched a kink in their usual routine because they could not go for the late night bike rides and sunrise breakfasts. Jason wasn't even able to go with her because the band never allowed their own guests to come. It was someone else's wedding and their spouses, lovers and friends were simply not welcome.

Elizabeth had been inexplicably preoccupied and quiet throughout the morning. Each time Jason sidled up to her or asked what was wrong she would shrug and pull away or simply leave the room. She wasn't ignoring him completely but her head was definitely not where she was. She needed to be at the wedding at 2pm so they decided they would take separate cars to have some lunch.

After lunch, Jason was going to go to the penthouse to spend time with Spinelli. His young charge had been showing the signs of being lost without Jason around. His 'master' practically lived at Elizabeth's house in recent weeks. Jason had not spent more than five nights at the penthouse in the past month. He only came home after those trips that Spinelli dared not ask about or when Elizabeth had an evening wedding. The young man missed his boss and roommate. To be honest, Jason kind of missed Spinelli too, though he would never have admitted it.

Elizabeth never wanted to do anything but go straight home to bed after evening weddings. She was usually too tired because the band had to set up and break down their equipment immediately before and after their show. Also, twice it had been their second gig of the day. Because they could not invite friends, Elizabeth had to help set up and break down. She usually never helped with the equipment. The guys normally only wanted her for sound checks; not the heavy labor. She had also been really tired lately.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Jason asked as he watched her take a bite of her mandarin chicken wrap.

"Nothing, why?" she said covering her mouth so as not to spit food at him.

"You've been different today. Preoccupied. Is there anything I can do for you?" he said lifting his double mushroom-swiss burger to his mouth. The man ate like a horse but still kept lean from his regular workouts in the gym, on the beach or in bed.

"No, I am just tired. Between work and the gigs, I am exhausted. And…well, I need to tell you something." She fidgeted nervously and put her wrap down. She dropped her head to her chest and took in a deep breath. "Mark is going to be at this wedding."

Jason felt his chest tighten at the sound of Mark's name and sighed. "Mark? Why?"

"Yes, it's an old friend of ours' son getting married." She said as she lifted her gaze to his eyes. She could see the concern and confusion wrinkle his forehead.

"If...if it's a close friend then, why am I not invited?" he asked searching her eyes and his mind for anything she may have told him previously of this particular wedding.

"Because the band still has the rule so even though I could invite you, I decided not to. Besides, with Mark there and I didn't want you two to cross paths and meed while I am on stage."

"Oh…" he said and his gaze drifted off of her face and over to look out the window of the restaurant.

"Honey?" she started and pulled his hand into hers. "Trust me, nothing is going to happen. Mark hasn't bothered me and I haven't spoken to him since that night at the Legion. You have nothing to worry about. The guys will be there if he starts bothering me. Shawn, David and Emmett won't let him get near me."

"Well, maybe you should rethink the guards going. You know I don't like that you don't bring the guards with you anyway." He said as he dropped his eyes back to hers and peered into her sapphire eyes with his soft blue orbs.

"I can't have guards at these weddings. It doesn't look right!" she hammered again. This was a never ending back and forth argument between them.

"I don't really care WHAT it looks like. I want you safe. That's all that matters and keeping you safe from your ex is included."

"I'll be fine. I just…I wanted you to know. I promised you I wouldn't keep anything from you about him. I have been having a hard time all day trying to figure out how to tell you this. Please trust me honey. I'll never make you feel like he's more important again."

"I know." He breathed and then dropped his burger back onto his plate again, suddenly not hungry.

"Listen, I need to go" she said wiping her mouth with her napkin and taking a long swig from her iced tea "but why don't we have breakfast early tomorrow morning and I'll tell you everything that happens today. I love you. ONLY YOU!" she stressed as she stood and grabbed her purse from the seat next to her.

Standing with her and pulling her into his arms, he leaned in and whispered into her ear, "I love you too." Then he pulled back and looked her in the eye. "You keep your phone with you and if you need me, you call me and I'll be there."

"Okay. I promise. Everything will be fine. Are we okay?" she asked worried that it wasn't as she tipped up on her toes to get closer to his lips.

"Yes baby, we're fine." He answered and he bent in to give her a light kiss on the lips. He felt a twinge in his spine from the realization that she was going to see him and he pulled her closer and pressed his body against hers and deepened the kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too" she responded and then she turned and walked out the door.

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The wedding was a disaster. First, the best man was half crocked and continued to yell at the band that he paid for the pole. They never erected the pole for weddings. It was simply uncouth. Then at one point, the father of the bride grabbed on to Elizabeth and started grabbing her ass. This caused the band to stop playing and the bass player, Shawn, connected a fist to the man's jaw. She never danced with the guests as this too was something they didn't do at wedding gigs.

Finally, Mark followed her everywhere. He rarely walked right up to her and talked to her. Instead he would watch her from a close distance. He would slide in behind her if she were chatting with their old friends and try to put his arm around her in a show of dominance and possession. The band became increasingly agitated and started making sure someone was at her side the entire time they were on a break.

Then the song that she dreaded started. Only Love by Wynona Judd was their song. Her bride maids had walked down the isle to it at her and Marks wedding. It was the song the band played that always held special meaning to her. It was their song.

She was singing the song to the crowd when she caught and locked gazes with Mark.

I have sailed a boat or two
Out on the wild blue
Yonder to dreams that rarely come true
As far as I can see
From the island of green
I can put my trust in just one thing

The entire band watched as Mark walked on to the dance floor and scooped her into his arms and started to dance. Shawn tried to get to them off the stage but his cord kept him close to his amp. Elizabeth put a stopping hand up toward the band to let her handle it. Elizabeth tried to wriggle from his grasp but realizing it was affecting her singing and guests were starting to look puzzled, she gave in and just danced with the man she had once loved.

And only love sails straight from the harbor
And only love will lead us to the other shore
Out of all the flags I've flown
One flies high and stands alone
Only love

Peaceful waters, raging sea
It's all the same to me
I can close my eyes and still be free
When the waves come crashing down
And the thunder rolls around
I can feel my feet on solid ground

She sang and danced as she felt Marks hands roam over her shoulders and down her back. He ran his fingers through her hair and caressed her cheek. He spun her around a few times to avoid the evil glares he was receiving from the band members. She was relieved when she noticed the band speed up the song as much as they could in an attempt to alleviate the tense situation the only way they could.

And only love sails straight from the harbor
And only love will lead us to the other shore
Out of all the flags I've flown
One flies high and stands alone
Only love

"I love you baby. Please, I know you received the papers. I signed them. I didn't want to. I still love you. Please take me back. I promise you, I'll never hurt you again." He pleaded as she wriggled from his grasp and felt the hands of several band members grab onto him and her once the song was done.

Elizabeth ran to the bathroom and cried for what seemed like hours. She wanted to call Jason but knew he would become enraged and probably rush to the wedding and kill the man on the spot for touching her again.

Elizabeth went home still crying from the horrible wedding. She lay down on the couch and curled into a ball. They were finally divorced and the man still would not give up. Mark had signed the papers the day before their wedding anniversary. He feared that her previous warning would come true and ruin his memories of their wedding day by it also becoming the date of their divorce becoming final.

Elizabeth heard a light knock at the door. She was hesitant because she knew there were no guards at the house because she had forgotten in her emotional state to call to say she was on her way home. She went to the door, putting the chain on, and slowly opened it.

There he stood, drunk as a skunk. Mark had driven drunk to her house to again plead his case that he would change, she would be happy again, he would love her, he still did. All the same appeals she had heard before.

She slowly opened the door and he practically fell on her. He reeked of whisky and could not put together a coherent sentence. He was too drunk to even try to grope her. The only thing she could understand was 'my family', 'my wife', 'my Elizabeth'.

Chris stumbled out of his and Amy's room to the commotion. "What's going on?"

"Your dad is drunk. Help me get him to the office. We'll put him on the couch and let him sleep it off." She said as Chris hoisted him off of her and dipped under his fathers arm to help walk him to the office.

"You'rrre a ggood ssson" Mark slurred as he smacked Chris rather hard across the jaw.

"Jeez Dad, what the hell?" Chris said as he follow his step-mother into the office and stood holding his dad up while she draped a blanket over the futon after opening it up to a full size.

Amy was now up and in the hall closet retrieving spare pillows and a blanket for her soon to be father-in-law. She and Chris, at the prodding of Elizabeth, were getting married on New Years Eve. She handed over the pillows and blanket and nodded at Elizabeth's request that she go get two bottles of water from the refrigerator and the bottle of aspirin.

After getting him settled and turning on a small lamp on the desk, they all three left shutting the door behind them.

"What the hell happened?" Chris asked wide eyed in the hallway looking at Elizabeth. "Did he come home with you?"

"NO, he was at the wedding and, well….don't worry about it Chris. Just try to listen for your father in the night. He's not going to be feeling well come morning."

"How did he get here?" he asked reaching an arm out and wrapping it over Elizabeth's shoulder. He noticed she was crying and physically shaking and pulled her in to a hug. "Did he follow you? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no…I have been home a half hour now at least. He drove here Chris!" she said incredulous at the fact. "I can't believe…he's…"

"He's drowning in depression. He's been doing this a lot lately. I didn't want to tell you. You would only worry and you have your own life now. I guess I should have. I should have warned you at least. I'm so sorry." He said somewhat shamefully.

"It's not your fault son. I am sorry you are seeing your father like this. I ne…I never wanted this." Elizabeth said as she hugged Chris and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "go back to bed and we'll figure this out in the morning. I am going to go upstairs and take a shower and then go to bed myself. Call me if you need me and don't let Aaron see his grandfather like this."

"Alright, I'll take care of this. Don't worry. He's not your problem anymore." Chris said as he let go leaving one last kiss on the top of Elizabeth's head. Amy reached an arm out and touched Elizabeth's shoulder then slid into Chris' arms as they walked back into their bedroom.

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Elizabeth took a long hot shower. She was so tense and tired and the shower helped loosen the stress in her muscles. She wrapped a towel over her head and another around her body and headed into her bedroom.

"FUCK" she shouted when she saw Mark, nude draped across her bed. 'Why me?' she thought as she grabbed her sweat pants and sweatshirt she had been wearing that morning and walked back into the bathroom. Once dressed, she went back into the bedroom and covered the man up, grabbed her keys, her purse and her cell phone and left.

She never knew that Jason had come to stay the night and found her ex husband nude in her bed.

Song: Only Love by Wynona Judd