I hope this makes up for the cliffhanger I left you all with :) Hope you are all having a great week! Thank you so so much for the suggestions. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate the reviews and the positive feedback :) Life's been pretty stressful recently, and I feel so lucky to have all of your support!
Chapter 29,
She ignored his calls.
Each time her phone vibrated on her coffee table, she looked down and saw his smiling face light up on her screen. But each time, she didn't answer, and after the third call, she turned her phone off all together.
She needed time. She needed a few hours to herself to think this through.
Well, she needed more than a few hours, but knowing Jay, the minute he got off work, he would be banging his fist against her door, demanding entry into her apartment. Because it really wasn't like her not to answer.
She should've just answered, she realized. She could've acted casual, told him the appointment went fine, and then made an excuse for why he couldn't come over tonight.
He probably wouldn't have even argued with her. After the conversation last night, and the one that followed this morning, he probably wanted his space, too.
Damn it, she thought, as she turned her phone back on. That definitely would have been better.
She considered sending him a text message, but opted against it, reasoning it would be too little, too late.
And really, the emotions of the day were finally wearing on her. She needed a break. So, leaving her phone in it's place on the coffee table, she stood up and moved towards her bedroom. She slipped out of her clothes and slipped on the navy blue Chicago Police Department t-shirt of Jay's. In a moment like this, she really wanted his green ARMY t-shirt, the one with the tiny hole at the back of the neck, that had become her favorite. But Jay had worn it when he had gone for a run two days ago, and it had been soaked with his sweat afterwards, so it was currently at the bottom of her laundry bin.
Even if this t-shirt was only her second favorite, it seemed to do the trick. She inhaled the smell of him and instantly relaxed. She slid slowly under the covers, and took a deep breath.
And then, she smiled.
Pregnant.
She was pregnant.
Like, baby currently growing inside her uterus, pregnant!
Finally, finally, finally her dreams had come true. She was carrying a child of her own.
Her's and Jay's.
Jay.
God. What on earth was she going to tell Jay?
He had asked for more time. He said he had needed time to think.
How was she supposed to tell him that time had run out?
It would break her heart if he didn't want this. Or worse, if he pretended to be happy about it, just because he knew she was.
Because that would be so like Jay; the amazing, thoughtful, kind, generous man she had gotten to know over the past three weeks would, without a doubt, think of her first. God. He would probably be thrilled for her when she shared her news.
But then hours later, as he tried to fall asleep with her nestled into the crook under his arm, the true meaning of this pregnancy would come to him.
Would he be happy? Would he be terrified?
Would he stay?
Or would he bolt?
Her head was spinning as she went back and forth, convincing herself he would be happy about it, but then letting the doubt sink in. Finally, she decided she would wait to tell him. She would wait until he told her what he had decided about the IVF; if he wanted to be her partner in this, or if he was happier to stand by and let her do it without him.
Then, based on his answer, she would know what to do.
This plan, as absurd as it was, calmed her tremendously. Because, at the very least, she had a plan.
So with that calming thought, she shoved her face into the pillow Jay had been sleeping on night after night and inhaled the scent of his aftershave. Then, she lifted the t-shirt to her nose, and inhaled his scent there, too.
And then, thinking of him, dreaming of the beautiful baby they had just somehow created together, she fell asleep.
000000000
She ignored his calls.
At first, he had been calling to see why she wasn't at her appointment. After the receptionist refused to give him any information, on the grounds of doctor-patient confidentiality, he had wanted to check in and make sure everything had gone okay. He was worried about her.
He had been upset when she hadn't answered, but he reasoned that depending on the news she received at the appointment, she may not be up for talking.
At that point, he had opted not to text her, instead giving her her space.
But then, the team had been talking about going to Molly's after work to get to know Rixton a little better, and to raise a glass to him for surviving his first day.
He wasn't sure she would want to go to Molly's, hell he wasn't sure he wanted to go to Molly's, but Rixton was his new partner, and so he felt slightly obligated. Especially considering he was pretty sure, well pretty hopeful, that Rixton would stick. He was pretty perfect for this unit, Jay could already tell.
So he had called her a second time to invite her to come along. And she hadn't answered then either.
Then, after twenty minutes, he realized that he hadn't heard from her all day. It wasn't as though they texted nonstop throughout the day, both of them having jobs that kept them very busy, but they usually communicated at least a couple times. Even if it was just to check in about dinner, or plans for Jay coming over to her apartment later.
And on the occasions when he called her and she wasn't able to answer, she definitely got back to him. Even if it was a text that said: "In a meeting, talk soon xo".
But today, there was nothing.
So that's when he called again.
And that's when he started to freak out.
When his workday ended, he made an excuse and bolted out of the bullpen. He felt a little bad about leaving his partner on his first day, but not that bad.
Plus, he was pretty sure Rixton had been catching the nervous vibes that had been emanating from him since they left the doctor's office six hours before, because he was the only member of the team that didn't give him a hard time about his less than legitimate excuse.
He didn't care, though, because less than 15 minutes after his work day ended, he was standing outside her apartment door.
He knocked softly, trying to control his anxiety since he was about to be in her presence.
If the appointment hadn't gone well, and that's the reason she hadn't returned his calls, she was going to need him. There wouldn't be room for both of them to be freaking out.
He steadied his breathing as he waited, but after several moments of her not answering, his anxiety returned full force.
Goddamit, he thought. This is why I need a fucking key to her apartment.
He knocked again, and this time, it was more forceful; more of a incessant bang than a knock.
By the time she came to the door a few moments later, his nerves were so raw, he couldn't be held accountable for the words that flew out of his mouth.
"Where were you today?" He asked, his voice loud and urgent.
That wasn't what he had planned to say, of course, but it had just come out. Now, though, he noticed that she was rubbing and squinting her eyes at him like she had just woken up.
That's when his eyes roamed her body, and he realized she had definitely just woken up. She was wearing his CPD t-shirt from the Academy, which fell halfway between her waist and her knees, and nothing else.
"What?" Her voice was a mix of sleep and confusion, and he instantly regretted his earlier outburst.
He moved past her, further into the apartment, until he found his way to the couch, steadying his breathing the whole way. It was only when he sat down on the couch that he noticed her phone resting on the coffee table. Out in the living room, away from where she had been sleeping.
"I'm sorry," he said, because he really was. His mind had been playing tricks on him, leading him to the worst case scenario, and only now that he was sitting there could he own up to his fears.
He wasn't just worried about her not answering because she had gotten bad news. He'd been worried that she had left. That she had gotten said bad news, realized that as she no longer needed the fertility center, she no longer needed to be in Chicago. And so she had picked up and left without so much as a goodbye to Jay.
It had terrified him to his core. And now that he was in her presence, staring at her bare legs crossed together and inches from his own on couch, he could finally allow himself to shove those fears away.
"What do you mean where was I today?" Brooke asked, clearly not letting his previous question go. She stared at him questioningly, and he considered, for a moment, giving her the speech he had planned.
But once again, the words he hadn't even known were there started to flow out.
"I went to your doctor today. I was a little late, but I had wanted to come with you to your appointment." She arched her eyebrow in surprise and opened her mouth to speak, but he continued to rush out his words.
"I want to do this with you," he said, lacing his fingers through hers and resting them on her bare knee. "I know this is fast, and crazy, and I know we've only known each other three weeks. But the thing is," he held her gaze, trying to use her hazel brown eyes as courage to keep going. To keep speaking the words that were in his heart.
"I love you," he finished, squeezing her fingers slightly between his own, hoping she could feel his love in addition to hearing it.
He didn't miss her sharp intake of breath, or the way her eyes glazed over, or the smile that found its way to her lips.
But he continued speaking, wanting to get all of this out while he still had her attention. While he still had his courage. "And I'm not just saying that because of our conversation this morning. I've wanted to say that a hundred times. A thousand times," he shook his head with disbelief, as if he couldn't even believe it himself.
His voice grew quieter, "I think I loved you the first time I saw you," he gave her a bewildered grin before he continued. "I know I loved you the first time I kissed you." That earned him a laugh from Brooke, and he took the opportunity to leave over and press his lips against hers, capturing them in a quick, but intimate kiss, before he pulled back to continue.
"Jay-"
"Wait, Brooke. Let me finish," he said. "I want to spend my life with you, and I want to have a family with you."
When her eyes widened at that, he added, "And if you got bad news today, if that's why you were gone by the time I got to your appointment, I just want you to know that I love you and we will find a way to have a family. Together." He sighed out a deep breath, signaling he was finally finished speaking. He was finally ready to hear what she had to say.
He had imagined every answer she could possibly have, and he was finally ready to hear which answer she chose.
"I'm pregnant."
Okay. Maybe he hadn't imagined every answer. "You're pregnant?!" He couldn't stop the smile that spread wide on his lips. He jumped up, off the couch, and lifted her up along with him. "You're really pregnant?!"
"Yeah," Brooke whispered, her eyes full of tears, a smile of her own on her lips. "I really am!"
"We're going to have a baby!" He said, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her as tears started to well in his own eyes. "I can't believe it!" He released her then, and wiped his thumb over her cheek, capturing each tear before it fell past her chin. "How? How did this happen?"
They had never used condoms, but he had assumed she had been on the pill. Of course, now that he knew she couldn't get pregnant, it was safe to say she was likely not on the pill.
But if she couldn't get pregnant... "Wow. Wow."
"The doctor said sometimes it just happens." Actually the doctor had said a whole lot more than that. Something about diminished ovarian reserve, anovulatory cycles, rare occurences of ovulation, and other medical terms that she had barely even heard because her head had been spinning with the news.
"That's..." he paused, looking for a word that would capture all the emotions he was feeling in that moment. When he couldn't seem to find one, he finished with, "That's amazing."
"Are you happy?" Brooke asked, tears still welling in her hazel brown eyes. She hadn't let herself cry before, a huge feat for her, and now it was like a dam that had broken. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to stop crying now.
She was just glad that this time, these were happy tears.
Well, happy tears, and tears of immense relief.
"I'm so happy, baby," Jay replied, with zero hesitation. He leaned in and kissed her again, this time more passionately than before.
He lifted her into his arms, and her legs wrapped easily around his waist, the way that had many times before. He carried her towards the bedroom, laying her down on the unmade bed she had vacated only 10 minutes before.
He broke their kiss only long enough to lift the oversized t-shirt over her head and fling it onto the floor, before attacking her lips again.
He removed his own shirt while she undid his buckle. When her fingers brushed against his erection while she was unzipping his jeans, he let out a loud groan. "Brooke," he sighed her name.
God, he was so in love with her.
Then, he kissed her mercilessly, slowly trailing kisses down from her neck down to the rest of her body. Then, when she reached for him, when she directed him slowly into her until he filled her completely, he allowed himself to bask in the feeling of making love to her - to the mother of his child.
"God, you're beautiful," he said. Because, really, she was even more radiant than he had ever seen her.
Then he slowly moved against her, achingly, beautifully slow, allowing the tension to build between them until they were both calling out each others names in ecstasy.
And when they were both finally sated, and sweaty, and smiling, he wrapped his arms around her and revelled in the feeling of just holding her.
And when his hands found her flat stomach, they rested there, as if he was holding onto their baby, too.
"Jay," he heard her whisper. He opened his eyes, and found her staring up at him.
"Yeah?" He asked, worried for a moment, but not daring to move his hands, not daring to let go of her or their baby.
Before she spoke, she lifted her head towards him until their faces were touching, and then she pressed her lips against his in an attempt to smooth the nervous crinkle between his brows.
"I just wanted to tell you," she said, kissing him again. "I love you, too."
xoxo
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