Understanding

Rose's POV

2 weeks had passed since that night. The doctors have finally declared that I'm fit to be discharged today.

For 2 weeks, he'd stayed by my side, leaving only for a quick shower or bathroom breaks. He's like my personal nurse, taking care of my every need – feeding me, bathing me, preparing my medicine, dressing my wounds, massaging my sore muscles, reading news and stories to me…He'd done it all with infinite patience and care.

Every night without fail, I'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming from the nightmares that haunted me. I'd screamed till I have no air left in my lungs, for all Victor had done to me that I'd kept back to deny him the pleasure of seeing me in agony. And every night without fail, Dimitri would spring from the crouch he's sleeping on to my side instantaneously and hold me against him, comforting me in his soothing voice until I calm down enough to fall asleep again.

4 times a day, he would gently and very carefully rub a cool, sweet smelling ointment over the whip marks covering my body – it's very effective, soothing the pain quickly upon application. I kept my eyes tightly shut during these sessions, never daring to look at them, fearing the scars they'd leave behind. How can he look at them 4 times every day and not be disgusted by them?

Not once did I talk to him in the 2 weeks and he never demanded for my response. Every day, I see him getting paler and thinner. He's not sleeping well; his appetite is non-existence; he's always tensed and rigid. My heart broke for him but I reminded myself that he deserves better.


"Roza, are you comfortable? Do you need anything else?" He asked, placing me gently onto my bed and pulling the covers over me. Like always, I ignored him.

"Go to sleep now Roza, you must be tired after the long journey. Don't worry, I'd be close by." He said, sitting down on the recliner beside my bed.

"You can leave now. I'm not going anywhere."

"Roza…"

"Go away."

I saw hurt flash across his face. I quickly closed my eyes. Then, I heard my bedroom door closing softly. I let my tears fall…

It's the same nightmare again…No, it's not…Victor's not holding onto the whip this time…Natasha is…CRACK!...CRACK!...CRACK! She's flogging Dimitri…he's in excruciating pain…

I woke up in a scream, louder and more piercing than any of my screams in the past fortnight, tears streaming down my eyes uncontrollably.

"Hush Roza, hush, everything's alright, I've got you. You're safe, I'll protect you…Roza." A soft, comforting voice crooned as a pair of strong, warm arms cradled me gently.

He'd came back after all…

"Dimitri." I whimpered, the first time I'd acknowledge him directly in nearly a month. "Dimitri. You're hurt…"

"Roza?" Dimitri asked in a confused tone.

"Show me your wound." I suddenly said, moving to unbutton his shirt. He didn't push me away. Instead, he took a step back.

"Roza, I'm fine." He said softly.

"No, you're not. It hurts, like your flesh's being ripped off. Show me." I begged, shifting forward to reach him. I winced at the move and immediately, he was back before me.

"Roza…" I ignored him, concentrating on using my left hand to unbutton his shirt. It's difficult; I'd never realized that I need both hands to do the simple task.

Seeing my determination, Dimitri decided to save me the effort. Gently, he took my hand away and starting undoing the buttons himself.

I gasped aloud when he'd finally taken off his shirt, exposing his bare chest. There, starting from his left shoulder and stretching all the way to his hip are three long, mingled and wicked looking scars.

"Dimitri…" I gapped, feeling my heart clench.

"Roza, I'm really fine…They don't hurt as bad as they look…Don't worry about me." Dimitri comforted, quickly putting back his shirt on again.

Like the hell I believe him…I also share the same marks…

"My scars…" I gasped, painfully reminded again of my horrible scars. Fresh tears streamed down my eyes.

"Roza, your wounds are healing just fine."

"I would look hideous." I sobbed.

"No Roza, you're really healing well. The scars would be barely noticeable when they're fully healed."

"Li-ar." I sobbed even louder. I may be failing my biology, but I know as much.

"Roza, you know I don't lie, especially to you. Don't you trust me?"

I nodded, I trust Dimitri, but it's just impossible.

He must have guessed my internal conflict, for he continued, "You can take a look for yourself Roza."

When I made no move to do so, Dimitri tugged gently at my shirt. "No." I said, blushing slightly. Dimitri smiled at me tiredly. "Seriously Roza? I'd been applying the ointment on your wounds for the past 2 weeks." Still blushing, I reluctantly allowed him to remove my shirt. When he started undressing the bandages though, I automatically closed my eyes.

"There Roza, see, they're healing beautifully." Dimitri said seconds later.

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes a crack, and felt relief sweeping through me. The scars are distinct, but not as hideous as I'd imagined them to be; definitely way better than Dimitri's scars. My relief quickly turned into confusion.

"Why?" I questioned.

"Hum?"

"Why are my wounds healing so nicely but yours…"

"That would be Babushka's ointment."

"Then why isn't it working on you?"

"Because I didn't use it." Dimitri said hesitantly.

"Why?" I pressed.

"I was afraid that it won't be sufficient for you."

"Can't Yeva get more?"

"I don't think so Roza. You see, they are many extremely rare herbs used. It's almost impossible to gather all of them quickly…"

"And you are using all the precious medicine on me?" My voice came out all weird.

Dimitri apparently misinterpreted my tone for he immediately starting explaining frantically, "Roza, don't misunderstand, I would love you just as much even if you had been badly scarred, I mean it. It just that I thought you'd be upset…"

I don't know if it was Dimitri's sincere declaration or the fact that my worst fear has just been invalidated, but suddenly, the barrier in me crashed. The feelings which I had been bottling up tightly and carefully since I regained consciousness erupted like a fierce volcano…

"I-I'm so-rry, Dimitri." I wept. "I'm really really sorry…"

Aghast, Dimitri tightened his hold on me. "What's wrong Roza? Are you in pain? Please tell me…"

"It's all my fault Dimitri…I lied to you first…you left me on isle Nova, but I'd asked you to…I've betrayed your trust and hurt you, but you came for me anyway…you've saved me, yet I was ungrateful…you should've been mad, very mad at me…you were not supposed to forgive me so easily and begged for my forgiveness instead…it wasn't your fault…it's entirely mine…I don't deserve you…you're too good for me…"

"No Roza. I shouldn't have left you. It doesn't matter that you'd asked me to. No matter the circumstances, I shouldn't have left you behind alone and unprotected when I was fully aware that Victor's still out there. I let my rage consume me. I didn't think properly…I know how hard it is to own up one's mistake. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. And, it was you who'd saved us both in the basement. I deserved what I got and more. Don't blame yourself Roza, and don't apologize to me. I'm the one to blame, the one who don't deserve you…But, I'm selfish enough to want you in my life Roza…Please forgive me…"

"Dimitri…oh Dimitri…I also want you…I want you so badly that I would probably die of a broken heart right outside the Palace gates that night had you not stopped me. But…but…can you really forgive me for lying to you Dimitri? For betraying your trust in me? And hurting you?"

"Roza…there's absolutely nothing for me to forgive, but if you really want to hear it…you're forgiven Roza…"

"Dimitri…Dimitri…thank you…" I cried again. But this time, it wasn't from grief; it was from relief, from joy, from confirmation that Dimitri still wanted me. I wrapped my arms around his chest and buried myself in his embrace, greedily soaking him up.

"Stay with me tonight." I whispered into his chest.

"I won't leave you Roza…never again…" Came a hoarse reply.

I knew what he meant – he would stay with me all night, sleeping on the recliner that is too short for him after I had fallen asleep. I don't want that. I wanted him close, much, much closer than just being in his arms. I wanted to make up for our weeks of separation…I wanted Dimitri…

"Come onto the bed, Dimitri." I whispered, pulling myself away from his embrace and pulling him towards me instead.

"Roza…" Dimitri looked at me uncertainly.

"Come." I repeated, increasing the force behind my pull. "You haven't been sleeping well…and…I want you by my side…"

He hesitated slightly, considering for a moment. Then, he started kicking off his shoes. With much difficulty, I managed to pull myself over to the center of the bed. He laid down beside me, face facing mine, barely inches apart. I could smell the familiar scent of aftershave and feel his breath on my face...I wiggled even closer to him.

"Sleep, Roza. I'll be right here." Dimitri crooned, pulling the covers over my carefully. Softly, he started humming a familiar lullaby into my ear.

Exhaustion washed over me. I felt my eyelids closing…I fell into an uninterrupted sleep…


I woke up on something hard. Firm, but not uncomfortable. In fact, it is way more comfortable then my soft pillows.

The room is very bright…it must be near noon now. I'd had a peaceful and dreamless sleep – a first in a long time.

I rolled my head over to see what I'm lying on and heard a soft gasp.

Dimitri. I'm lying on his chest.

"I'm sorry, Dimitri." I quickly apologised, lifting my head off his chest.

"It's okay Roza, Good morning." He replied a moment later.

"Good morning Dimitri."

"Roza, it's time for your medicine now." Dimitri announced, distributing the pills in a well-practised manner.

"I'm not eating any of those again. They're absolutely horrible."

"Come on Roza, just close your eyes and swallow them. They will help you recover faster." Dimitri coaxed patiently.

"No. Way. I'm discharged aren't I? It means that I'm well enough."

"Roza, I'll get you an entire packet of Hershey's Kisses later?"

Very appealing but, "No."

"Doughnuts? Or some time in the garden"

"No." I scowled, turning my head the other way.

"Anything you want Roza." Came an exasperated voice.

"Really?" I tested.

"Roza." A sigh. "You have my words."

"Okay." I said, dumping the pills into my mouth and swallowing them quickly.

"What is it you want Roza?" Dimitri asked, pulling out the bottle of ointment and reaching for my shirt. This time though, I didn't close my eyes when he undid my bandages. "Later." I replied.

With infinite care, Dimitri started to patiently apply the ointment onto my wounds, making sure that his fingers don't brush against them. Meanwhile, I was captivated by his look of utter concentration. I stared at his features in detail as he worked. He looked exhausted – pale face, blood shot eyes and he'd lost more weight that I've previously thought…

Finally, he was done replacing my bandage. "Okay, now you take off your shirt and lie down." I said, pulling myself up into a sitting position and picking up the bottle of ointment."

"Roza? What are you doing?"

"You promised, Dimitri." I said simply, patting on a spot on the bed.

Still staring at me, Dimitri slowly unbuttoned his shirt, took them off and lied down tensely on the bed.

"Relax." I said, tipping over the bottle of ointment. "Roza…" came an immediate protest. His hands shot out quickly attempting to grab the bottle. "Lie still." I commanded, staring him determinedly.

He looked straight back, but after a moment, his eyes softened. Sighing dejectedly; he put his hands down and placed them by his sides. Quickly, I smeared a generous amount onto his chest. Then, using my good hand, I carefully applied it carefully over his vivid wounds.

"Dimitri," I said softly as I worked. "You don't have to watch over me round the clock now. I'm fine, really. From now on, you will eat and rest properly, and you will get back to doing what you should be doing. It's hurting me to see you so pale and thin…would you do it for me please?"

"Roza," He hesitated. "May I visit you at night then? I want to…"

I reached down and kissed him on his forehead. "Yes, Comrade. You're welcomed to share my bed every night…"


Okay the last part might be a bit forced, but I'm quite a "perfectionist"...didn't want either of their perfection being ruined by a couple of bad guys.

So the pair had make up. Coming next - more romantic and intimate moments :)

Review!