"Dante!" Hearing me call out for him, he stopped short frozen on his spot but didn't turn around, only tilting his head slightly. I stood in the brightly lit hallway, the white paint reflecting the light almost painfully, giving the whole scene something surreal and I almost asked myself if I was still sleeping. But the dull throbbing in my shoulder that got gradually worse told me that I was awake – and in desperate need for painkillers.

Dante made no move, still facing away from me waiting if I had something else to say. Biting my lip, I watched him knowing that it was my turn to apologize and hope he would forgive me. Taking a few hesitant steps forward, I suppressed a wince as every movement jostled my shoulder but the pain did not stop there, instead wandering higher, slowly turning into a migraine.

Hearing me come closer, Dante visibly tensed, the hands on his sides balled to fists and from this angle, I could see his clenched jaw but he stayed still until I laid my hand on his shoulder.

"Hey…" My voice sounded weak, even to my own ears and Dante froze before shaking it off.

Moving away from my touch, he took a few steps towards the opposite wall only turning around when he was there was a good distance between us. And not even then he looked into my eyes, his gaze glued to my shoulder, or rather the bandage that hid it from sight. For a few tense moments I stared into his face, trying to swallow the lump rising in my throat, the lack of expression in his eyes scared me.

As if he had given up on me, given up on trying to have a relationship with the girl that always fucked up everything she touched.

The silence was driving me mad.

"Look at me!" I finally choked out, the high pitch of my voice having his head snap up and for the first time our eyes met. Drawing in a sharp breath, the agony I was faced with was so much worse than any physical pain I had ever gone through, it left me in shatters.

"Please look at me." This time my voice was nothing but a whisper as I fixed my stare onto the ceiling, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay that were burning in my eyes. "I know what I did was wrong and I know that you must hate me but… please… you can´t just… not look at me… I…"

"You could have died tonight." His quiet voice interrupted my hysterical rant and my gaze flitted towards him, his figure blurry but I was just able to make out that he was staring at the floor, the muscles in his jaw clenching tightly. "You could have died and I would have been knocked out, unable to do anything to help you. Completely useless, playing right into their hands."

"I am so sorry." Was all I managed to get out before Dante shook his head, signaling for me to stay quiet. I complied, brushing the tear away that managed to escape its confinements, watching how he started to pace through the hallway, pulling on his hair.

"I was so conceited, thinking I knew exactly what they were planning." Chuckling humorlessly, Dante shook his head, throwing his arms in the air. "Because you know… I´m such an intelligent person, coming from erudite and all. No way a girl that hadn't even been through her initiation could know something I don´t, right." His gaze flitted to the ceiling, his mouth curled up into a bitter smile before he looked into my eyes, his displaying nothing but unfathomable loathing. I shriveled back further into the wall, afraid what that expression would mean for us. If there still was an us.

"Instead of believing you, instead of helping you, instead of protecting you I forced you to face a horde of factionless all on your own like the asshole I am."

"You didn't force me to do anything, Dante! That was my decision!" Hearing him talk that badly about himself had me step forward, my voice forcefully. If I couldn´t stand one thing then it was him taking the blame for something I did even though he had absolutely no hand in it. However, my outburst triggered one of his one. Growling in frustration, his eyes hardened and in the split-second, I realized what he was about to do, I staggered back before the table flew through the hallway, the tray with surgical instruments flying through the air, clattering loudly against the floor.

Knowing he would go onto a full-on rampage if I didn't stop him, while also remembering the one time he threw the chair in the simulation room, the first time he managed to get me to talk again, I crossed the hallway with three quick steps, grabbing his arm just as he went to kick a full medicine cabinet.

It was a miracle no nurse had come out yet and I didn't want to try our luck with them, especially if we fucked with their equipment.

"Dante, stop goddamnit!"

"Can´t you just let me be angry for once?!" He shouted, throwing his hands in the air while I pulled mine back as if the touch had burned me, the glare he sent my way burning its path right into my heart. Watching him riling himself up further and further, a lone tear ran down my cheek as he pulled his hair before swiveling around and planting his fist in the wall.

The harsh thud had me flinching, knowing how much his knuckles would hurt, turning black and blue, maybe even split open.

Slinging my one good arm around myself, I stayed quiet as Dante pulled back, hissing in pain, his whole hand indeed bloody. While he tried shaking the ache off, I made my way over to the cabinet I had saved from him, pulling out a piece of gaze.

Carefully approaching him, I was relieved he let me place the small bandage on top of his cut even though his head was angled away from me, his stony gaze glued to the wall.

Reveling in being nearer to him ever since I stepped out of Sam´s room, I took my time taking in his features. The dark rings beneath his eyes told me he hadn't slept much, most likely not at all since I knocked him out, the slight stubble on his face that he hadn't taken the time to shave. He seemed deeply exhausted and knowing I had caused it, my lip started to quiver, my voice pleading when I finally brought myself to speak up.

"Please don´t hate me…"

Sighing deeply, Dante pulled away from me, the anger that had consumed him so shortly ago now replaced by abysmal exhaustion. Turning around, he placed both of his hands to the wall before leaning his forehead against it, closing his eyes.

"It´s not you I hate."

Needing to feel him against me, I stepped behind him slinging my arm around his waist pressing myself as close to him as I could. I felt him exhale deeply before he lifted his injured hand to cover mine that lay on his stomach, fingers squeezing lightly.

Closing my eyes, I tightly pressed my face into his back, his familiar scent easing the anxiety I felt ever since waking up, not knowing what happened.

"What do you mean?" I mumbled into his shoulder, pulling him closer to me.

"I mean," Dante started, untangling himself from my vice-like grip and turned around, his back now leaning against the wall as he stared at me. Not knowing if I really wanted to hear what he would say, I lowered my gaze to the floor – until he pulled me back into him with one hand on the low of my back, the other one smoothing my hair down that must have looked like a bird's nest, completely tangled and full of dust.

"I should have been out there with you trying to save the life of the person closest you, Lexi…" Biting his lip he shook his head, his eyes full of regret when they finally met mine. " –

instead of leaving you no choice than to sedate me because I thought I knew better. I forced you to choose between rescuing your best friend and our relationship and for that, I will never forgive myself. " Tightening his grip on my good shoulder, he pressed my head against his chest before burying his face in my hair, his voice hoarse.

"If you would have died tonight, it would have been my fault."

"You know that´s not true!" Drawing my head back to look at him, shooting him a stern gaze leaving no room for discussion "I could have taken Rob with me… but I didn't want to endanger him – or you. If you were there and would have gotten hurt because of me I could have never forgiven myself, Dante! That sort of… guilt I never want to feel again." Focusing on his chest, I remembered all the moments I felt like the guilt would eat me alive, a slow, torturous death that stripped me of everything that made me human. "And with you, it would have been so much worse because…" Swallowing heavily, I looked deep into his eyes. "Because… I love you."

I had always imagined that the moment these words left my lips for the first time would be a happy one. I had imagined how Dante´s eyes would have started to glint, ever so slowly a breathtaking smile taking over his face until he scooped me up in his arms, kissing me deeply. In my mind, I had come up with so many scenarios but in none of them did Dante look like this – tortured.

Letting out a shaky breath, his head fell back against the wall, his eyes diverted to the ceiling, searching before he shook his head. Watching him, I felt the panic rising in my chest, expecting for him to tell me he changed his mind about us, not able to validate the agony that contorted his face in any other way.

"How…" Dante started finally with a raspy voice, stopping again abruptly, clearing his throat, struggling with himself to get the words out. "If… if I can´t even keep you from being shot if I can´t rescue you… then how do I deserve your love?"

Snapping my head up, I stared at him unbelieving he had really just said that, that he really thought he didn't deserve to be loved after all that I had done.

No, we would not get to blame himself, not when it was all my fault.

"But you already did!" I exclaimed, gripping his chin in my hand when he still refused to meet my eyes. "Dante, this," Nodding towards my bandaged shoulder, I spoke calmly, but the force behind my words compelled him to listen attentively, having to know that I spoke the truth. "This is nothing. In a few weeks, all that will remain will be a little scar. A scar I got because I dropped my guard knowing there were enemy´s surrounding me at literally every angle. I might have been foolish but I knew I had to try.

And there is one thing I knew for sure that got me through it all."

"What is it?" He mumbled after a few moments of silence when it had become apparent I wouldn't speak on my own.

"You." I breathed, giving him my most vulnerable smile when his head snapped down, his skeptical eyes burning into mine. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I raised my hand to his face, my fingers caressing the slight stubble growing on his cheek. Focusing on the prickly feeling rather than on his down-weighting stare, I went on, baring my soul in front of him.

"Knowing you would always be there, no matter if I succeeded or failed, no matter if you would have to pay the price for my guilt because I was stupid enough to fall for their games – just knowing that you would wait for me when I come home gave me enough strength to do what I had to.

Dante, I love you and nothing or no one will ever be able to take that away."

As if a switch had been flipped, a magnetic pull of indescribable force had our eyes glued to each other, unable to tear myself away, letting everything except the man I now knew I loved fade into the background. His brown eyes burned with intensity, the trance they had me in so powerful the world around us could have exploded without neither of us noticing. In an instant, his hands were on my face and his lips on mine, trying to devour me whole, searching for the true meaning of my words.

Burying the fingers of my right hand in his hair, the ones on my left flexed still confined by the bandage but equally desperate to get a piece of him. Dante whirled us around and now I was the one pressed against the wall, his chest tightly pressing into mine as his hands went exploring, one buried in the hair of my neck, the other lower, gripping my hip. Knowing what he wanted, I grabbed his shoulder, hoisting myself up to wrap my legs around his waist. With his arm under the back of my thigh, Dante kept me upright as our tongues battled, lip biting, the fire in our veins burning, searing everything in its wake.

Suddenly something changed – something I was unable to describe, the fire turning into something more tender, a fragile feeling that passed between the two of us. I know Dante felt it too because our kiss got gentler, our lips moving slower but in harmony, hands that had been gripping now caressing, the softest of touches fluttering over flushed skin.

There was no need to seek for validation anymore, no need for physical confirmation now that our hearts beat as one. Everything has been said, no more omissions, no feelings hidden. And the relief that flooded my whole body was indescribable.

I almost felt weightless, as light as a feather floating through space.

Smiling against his lips, that were barely moving anymore just reveling in the feeling of skin against skin, I kept my eyes closed, allowing myself for just one moment to exist and feel every emotion that coursed through my body.

"I love you."

Nuzzling my nose, Dante quickly pressed his lips against mine and this time I felt them curl up, his fresh breath fanning over my face. "I love you, too."

We stayed like this for a long moment, him pressing me against the wall, my fingers playing with the hair on his nape and everything felt right.

Until suddenly a wave of coldness flushed over me, the image of unmoving eyes staring at the ceiling, now buried under hundred-thousands of pounds of brick stones. The fading sound of a gunshot, stale, musty air and blood flowing out of bullet wounds had me squirming in unease.

If he knew I took a life, would he still look at me the same...?

I had to find out, we were way past keeping secrets from each other.

"Dante…" I spoke up quietly, tense. He didn't seem to notice it, still lost in our moment but he hummed in reply. Swallowing tightly, I mustered up all the courage I could find in myself to tell him. "I killed someone today."

He tensed against me and I turned my head away, fearing to see the emotion flitting over his face. But instead of letting me hide, Dante gently pulled my chin towards him, forcing me to look into his eyes while he scrutinized me closely, searching for something.

"How?" Was all he asked calmly.

"We were in that room, you know the one you had to carry me out on out patrol and Sam… he was chained to the floor. I had to get them off and we only had about ten minutes to get out before the whole building exploded." The words tumbled from my mouth in a haste while I focused on the middle of Dante´s broad chest, imaged flitting through my head. "I had my back to the door while shooting at the locks to get them off but the second I had… he came through the door and shot – I just… it was like a reflex – I just fired." Scrunching my shoulders up, I bit my lip before looking up to meet deep brown eyes staring at me in concern.
"I hit him in the head, he was instantly dead."

"Lexi…" Dante laid his hand against my cheek and I pushed myself against it, craving the security it promised as he spoke quietly. "You did what you had to do. He was the one who fired first. The only thing you did was protecting yourself and your best friend, something that was very brave of you."

"But it was so… easy. I didn't even have to think about it, I just fired!" Clinging to his vest, I remembered the recoil, the sudden silence before the body met the floor with a loud thud. Shaking my head, I tried to will it all away, instead focusing on the man who took caressed the side of my face.

"It just means you have been trained well, that you´re a good soldier. Hesitating even a tenth of second can decide between life and death. Maybe I´m not that bad of an instructor after all." He shot me a small smile, making me instantly feel better about what I had done. I would never forget his face, never forget how easy it was to eradicate a life but with Dante by my side, I was sure I would come to terms with it.

Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things.

"Thank you." Giving him a small but genuine smile that he returned, I decided to push all the negative thoughts away – at least for the moment – and leaned my head against the wall, gaze not leaving him. "You have to meet him, you know?"

"I do." Rolling his eyes, Dante suddenly furrowed his brow, fixating me with a strange look. "But I don´t understand why you were in there with him…"

"Dante." I interrupted him sternly. "You can´t be mad at me for staying with him, okay? He was just telling me what happened to him when he was with the factionless. We didn't do anything but talk."

"That´s not even what I meant." He defended himself harshly, rolling his eyes. "I just thought you would be with your father."

"What? Why?" I stared at him confused. If my father wanted to see me, he would know where I was. I mean, I had just been shot so I couldn't walk that fast.

But the unbelieving expression on Dante´s face had me freeze, the cogs in my head slowly starting to turn. There must be a reason why no one was at my side when I woke up even though my mother always was there first, a reason why the infirmary was a ghost town, not even a single nurse had crossed our path since we had stood out here – and that had been a long time.

"What happened to him?!" The panic that was rising in my chest was mirrored by the tone of my voice as I grabbed Dante's vest, silently pleading for him to not tell me what I was thinking.

"You don´t know?" Dante was as surprised as incredulous, his skeptical eyes searching for any indication that I was playing with him. But all he found was genuine and deep fear, for once I did not care to appear strong. Not if my father was in danger. "He was brought in around three am, Lexi… and now it´s quarter to six pm."

Holding my breath, I waited for him to tell me, the panic seizing up my chest almost tearing me apart as Dante looked deep into my eyes, his expression full of sorrow and sympathy.

"Lexi… He was shot."


I barreled through the door of the room in the intensive care unit I knew was reserved for high-ranking members and leaders, immediately spotting him.

My father was lying in the bed, a tube running beneath his nose to provide him with oxygen, his torso bare but wholly covered in bandages, his face white from the blood loss but the most important thing was the slow beeping of the heart monitor beside him.

Sitting by his side, hands entwined was my mother who jumped up when I came in, my gaze snapping up to her. Her eyes were red-rimmed and I knew she had been crying, the exhaustion evident on her face.

"Lexi…"

"Why did no one tell me?!" I demanded to know, snapping my head to glare at my brother who was leaning against the wall, his face stoic. "I had no idea!"

"We had no idea you were awake, sweetie. Otherwise, I would have come to see you immediately. I just…" She swallowed tightly, before giving me a watery smile. "It was a close call. Three bullets right into his chest, he is lucky none hit an artery or he would have bled to death with no chance of treatment…"

"What happened?" My voice was low, the new information almost choking me up, too knowing I was so close to losing my father because I hadn't tried hard enough to convince him to stay here, to not go.

"Your brother doesn't know what take cover means." Came a hoarse voice from the bed, followed by a painful sounding cough. Every head in the room immediately snapped towards my father who was trying to sit up but had to halt, exhaling harshly. My mother jumped up from her chair to help him slowly sit up, placing a pillow behind his back while Theo slowly came closer, obviously worn out from the last twenty-four hours, hands awkwardly stretched out as if he didn't know what to.

I stepped up to the foot of the bed, smiling lightly knowing he would be okay.

Something as trivial as death couldn't rip my parents apart.

"Dad, I don´t know how…" Theo spoke, his voice cracking at the end and his Adam's apple bopped as he gulped, everything about his appearance remembering of a lost little boy the way he stared at our father.

"Then don`t." Dad interrupted him sternly, seemingly getting stronger with each second. "Just promise me to not be that reckless again, then I´ll promise not to take the bullets for you."

"I promise." Theo was fast to retort, almost desperate to show him he was genuine. I furrowed my brow at him, not having heard that tone since I was five and he grounded for shooting our babysitter in the foot.

"Good." Dad fixed him with one stern look that made sure to all of us that they would talk about this later, in private, before his eyes narrowed in at me, or better the bandage pinning my left arm to my torso, covering my whole shoulder, his lip pinched in frustration. "You!"

"We match!" I tried to sound cheerful and not at all afraid of the repercussions that would follow my actions, but when he narrowed his eyes even further, I gave up shrugging my shoulder.

"Come here." He beckoned me over with one arm, his movements uncoordinated and suddenly I realized: He was high on painkillers. Biting my lips to suppress my laughter, I stepped closer, doubling my efforts as he began to speak slightly slurred. "You're grounded…" Dad grumbled out but the glint in his eyes had me knowing he wasn't serious. "for… life." He nodded to himself, before shaking his head obviously giving up on me.

"That mean… no disappearing… and certainly no instructors!" He raised his voice at the end, making sure Dante who stood in the doorframe heard him loud and clear, his face showing worry for a split second until I shot him a teasing grin, that made him relax.

"Okay, dad." I placated him with a genuine smile, gripping his hand in mine. He immediately pulled me closer and I took a seat at the edge of the mattress right beside me.

"Did you get him?" He asked quietly, hooded eyes burning into mine with concern.

"I did." Nodding my head at him, I swallowed down the tears, feeling strangely emotional all of sudden. "He´s fine, dad. Way better than I was. He´ll fit right in here."

"Then it was worth getting hurt for." He wasn't serious for long, fixing his teasing stare at my brother, the prodigious son. "At least one of my children knows how to fight."

"I´m sorry to disappoint you, dad," I interjected, biting my lip to keep myself from laughing out loud. "but I only got shot because I dropped my guard just like he did."

"Naahh, fuck." Dad groaned, pretending to shove me off the bed. "Amy what kind of children did you raise? They´re useless."

"Well, mister. I think teaching them to fight was your task." She teased him, trying to be unobtrusive as she brushed the tears from her face. "Your rules, your responsibility."

"And here I am, asking myself how I could ever marry such a charming, supporting woman." Dad shot right back, his lips curling up into his trademark smirk. "We´re supposed to be a dauntless dynasty and our children don´t even know to stay on that side of the gun that doesn't shoot them. We must have done something wrong."

"I think we did everything right." Stepping closer, mom grabbed his hand, their eyes meeting, expressions showing nothing but true love. Not wanting to interrupt their moment of intimacy I looked away and found Dante who was still leaning against the doorway,

losing myself in him.

Until my father's loud voice right beside me had me jumping in surprise.

"Instructor boy! C'mon here" He bellowed and my gaze flew from Dante to him, eyes widening, frightened what was to come as my father scrutinized him closely from head to toe. "Weren't you supposed to watch her?"

"I was…" Dante started the same moment I exclaimed. "Dad!"

He stopped in confusion and I ducked my head, already anticipating their reaction to my nest words. "You can´t blame him `cause… I sedated him."

"Lexi!" My mother shouted incredulous, ready to lecture me until my ears were bleeding but my father´s booming laugh had her halt, staring at him, obviously only now realizing that he was as high as a kite.

"Get outta here!" Slapping his knee, dad didn't even feel our stares on him as he continued to wheeze with laughter. "Fuck…" He panted, slowly pulling himself together. "You´re more like me than you´ll ever know…"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, not knowing if he insulted or complimented me.

"Your father always did the same to me." Mom pinched her lips exasperated. "He didn't sedate me but he always left when I was asleep to avoid having to say goodbye."

"By the time, you would have been done the factionless would have taken over the city." My parents glared at each other in a playful manner before mom huffed, turning away from him to take a seat on the chair beside the bed.

Rolling my eyes at them, I slowly got up, the ache in my shoulder by now a steadily pulsing that reverberated into my teeth. Walking over to where Dante was standing, I pressed my back into his chest, alternating between listening to my parent's banter and watching Theo who was still riddled with guilt.

We stayed like this for quite some time, over half-an- hour until we were interrupted by a nurse who had come to look after my father and simultaneously handed a few papers to my brother who was now that dad was injured temporary head of our leaders.

Seeing me standing here, the nurse wasted no time in giving me shot full of pain medicine and healing serum, the same my father got, the pain immediately fading until I felt nothing but numbness and a slight itch, indicating I was healing.

Theo´s curse had me look up, his face hard as he handed a piece of paper over to my father who after flying over the script mirrored his expression. Staring at each other for a few seconds they seemed to silently communicate in a way only people who were close could, while the rest of us watched in confusion.

My father nodded once, causing Theo to straighten up to his whole height, an expression of determination taken over his face. I knew what this meant: He was on a mission.

"Take him with you." Dad tilted his head towards Dante, who instantly got alerted, gently pushing me a little away from him after he pressed his lips to the back of my head. A quick goodbye "He suspected it from the start and he knows the perimeter. You´ll need all the help you can get."

"Wait!" I called out as Theo walked towards the door and I swiveled around to see Dante doing the same, the expression on their face enough cause for concern. "What is going on?!"

It was my father who answered me, gravely speaking the words that would change our city forever.

"They found remnants of a new serum in Sam´s blood the factionless could not have access to – unless they were collaborating with erudite. They are all traitors that aided the people who hurt my family and now they will pay for it.

We´re coming for Jeanine."


I can´t tell you how much I loved to write the part between Lexi & Dante.. it´s so sweet it made me fall in love with them all over again..

And Eric of course, I couldn't leave you with a cliffhanger there even though I still did, kind off… I hope this will hold you over until I find the time to write the next one :D If you find any mistakes.. it´s 4 am & I´m tired.. basically forcing myself to complete this chapter just for you :D

Thank you for reading & reviewing! :)