Chapter 29
Clarke took a deep breath before she opened the door to the restaurant. This was against her better judgment but she wanted to know what it was that Costia had to say to her.
Once she told the hostess the name the reservation was under she was led through the restaurant until she saw Costia sitting alone with a glass of wine, looking over the menu. She also noticed the steak knives that were already on the table. If it comes down to it. She thought to herself before shaking her head.
"Hi." Clarke let out as she sat down across from Costia.
"Clarke, hi." The other woman grinned and Clarke had to admit in a new light Costia was quite attractive. "Thank you so much for meeting with me."
Clarke nodded. "Sure, I figured if you're calling me it had to be important."
"My apologies again for it being so out of the blue. Your mother gave me your number about a month ago but it took me a little bit of time to find the courage to use it." This wasn't news to Clarke. Costia had told her all of this on the phone but Clarke decided against making a snarky comment because it was clear that Costia was nervous. Something she had never seen before.
"Manhattan please." Clarke told the waiter with a smile. "It's really no problem." Clarke smiled and she could see Costia relax a little.
"I just really wanted to apologize to you. Face to face. You had and have every right to not like me and I understand that now. For so long I never wanted to see it, I never wanted to see what was right in front of me. It wasn't until you came back to Laguna that it hit me."
"Look Costia if this is about Lexa, her and I are not together. I mean we're friends but that's it."
"No, I mean it is about Lexa but not because I want to get back together with her." Clarke's eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to process what Costia was really trying to tell her.
"Back in law school I had a huge crush on her, I mean who wouldn't and I never realized that I was causing doubt in her mind about you and her. I really was trying to be her friend but I will admit when she told me you two broke up I went about it all wrong. Instead of being her friend and trying to talk her out of the worst decision of her life, I went along with it in hopes that maybe she would finally see me." She shook her head as she downed half the wine in her glass. "She used to talk about you, all the time. How amazing you were and how you were the best thing to ever happen to her and that she'd go to the end of the earth for you if that's what it took. I think she loved you so much that it scared the hell out of her. The thought of losing you made her a little crazy. She's one of the least insecure people I have ever met, unless it comes to you. When you came back, I saw the way she looked at you. She didn't even mean to and she certainly didn't notice that she was doing it. I'm still not entirely sure that she'd notice."
Clarke shook her head as she drank most of her own drink. "But you're the one that broke it off, not her. She loved you Costia and she wouldn't have broken off your engagement, especially not because of me."
"I disagree. You don't see how she looks at you. The past four years were good, don't get me wrong but I never wanted to admit to myself that she wasn't the same girlfriend to me that she was to you. I'm not trying to compare us, at all but she used to fly across the country to see you, there were days she wouldn't drive the extra half hour to see me. Is it a big deal, no. However it is very telling. She wouldn't have gone through with our wedding. She didn't even mean to propose, I found the ring and it sort of spiraled. I think it was our way of not wanting to face the inevitable. We just weren't meant to be."
"So what are you saying?"
Costia smiled. "I'm saying you two, you're meant to be. I was watching family videos trying to put something together for the wedding and you're in ninety percent of them Clarke. That means something."
Clarke shook her head as the waiter brought them both their salads. "It doesn't change anything though Costia and I do appreciate you saying all of this and apologizing but when all is said and done Lexa made her choice."
Costia shook her head. "You are just as stubborn as she is." She smiled as she took a bite of her salad and Clarke had to admit that she was impressed with the woman's brave face. "The only reason her and I were even together was because she thought we slept together in Greece and we didn't. I may a lot of things but I won't sleep with someone when they're that drunk and I won't sleep with someone whose heart really isn't into it at all. You are all she talked about that whole trip. I guarantee you she never would have walked down that aisle. You literally saved her dads life and in that moment, through all of that you were all she say. In times of need you turn to the people you trust the most, even if you don't mean too."
"Families do that all the time though, I'm their doctor and I literally had my hands inside their loved ones. It's natural."
Costia shook her head once again. "I've seen that too, in court rooms but the way she was looking at you was entirely different. She was looking at you the way I wished she would have been looking at me."
"I'm sorry." Clarke offered, feeling kind of bad.
"Please don't be. It's no ones fault except my own. That's what you get for getting in the way of true love."
Clarke couldn't help but let out a laugh. "It definitely is not true love. We aren't star-crossed lovers, fate isn't at play, there's no serendipity or any of that magic. We are just two people whose lives grew apart."
Costia's smile got bigger and Clarke couldn't understand why. "Except your lives never really grew apart. The way she treated you, the way she treats you, is different from everyone else. I was never allowed to sit on the counter, and in almost every video there you are sitting on the counter. It doesn't seem like a big deal but it is, the little things add up. I think fate is far more at play than you think it is. Only two could run into each other as much as you do and it's not just because you run in the same circle. Life will always draw you two together, one way or another."
"So you're saying you brought me here to convince me that I should take her back?" Clarke was more than a little stunned and she wasn't entirely sure that her brain was processing the information right.
"I asked you to dinner to make amends, as best as possible and to let you know what I see. As much as she loves you I think somewhere deep down you love her too and maybe you'll never get a happy ending together romantically I just want you to know what you mean to her. I listened to her talk about you for years and it turns out you are everything she ever said and more. I may have ended things Clarke but it's only because she's too scared to admit how she really feels, just please know that if it had come down to it, she would have chosen you. I know she messed up, scratch that, she royally fucked up but you two fit like puzzle pieces. It doesn't matter how long you've been separated in the box, you'll always fit together and no one else will ever fit quite the same way. I've come to accept that. You seem like the type to want proof so I'll give it to you. Have you been to her office?"
Clarke shook her head no. "Can't say that I have."
"Not even in LA?"
Again she shook her head 'no'. "No, I was only ever in it when Jeff had it."
"Pay her a visit, if I know anything at all, it'll prove a small point." Costia smiled as she finished the wine in her glass.
XOXO
"You had dinner with who?" Octavia asked again, wide eyed, as Clarke sipped her coffee later that night.
"Costia, my mom gave her my number, she called. We talked, she said a lot and I do mean a lot."
Clarke could see the blood starting to boil within Octavia. "I swear if she tries to win Lexa back, I will…"
"One, are you two secretly dating? Two, it seems like she's over Lexa, but she thinks Lexa and I are meant to be." Clarke rolled her eyes at the last part of her sentence almost causing Octavia to spit the water out of her mouth.
"She thinks what now? This is the same Costia that had a part in sabotaging our relationship with Lexa?"
Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "More like my relationship with Lexa. I swear it should have been you I was worried about not Costia."
"Def not! I'm not down for bumping uglies with her though she is hot. Especially when she's all business woman like."
"Anyways! She basically said that she thinks Lexa is still in love with me that I won the breakup because Lexa wasn't as happy as we all thought, including what Lexa thought. She said she only took over the business because of Jeff's health issues and that it was something she struggled with."
Octavia nodded. "She does still love to lawyer people every chance she gets."
"Lawyer people?"
Octavia rolled her eyes as she flipped her hair back out of her face. "Yeah she make everyone else feel ridiculous by using their own words against them. She's very good at it."
"You have the biggest crush on her, you do realize that right?"
Octavia drank her coffee and thought for a moment. "Yeah I do, but so do you so we're even. Also Lincoln loves you so I mean, it's only fair."
"Lincoln loves me because I cook pancakes for breakfast."
"True, anyways what else did the bitch say?"
Clarke laughed. "I think we can drop that name, she was actually really nice and if I hadn't known our past I may have asked her out. She said something about proof being in Lexa's office but I do not understand that at all."
"I've been in her office and I didn't see anything out of the ordinary."
Clarke shrugged. "I don't know, it's a lot to process when your exes ex, tells you all of this."
"I guess only time will tell, but whatever it is, enjoy it. I have to go back to work now, doesn't look good when people see a cop drinking coffee." Clarke laughed as Octavia got up and gave her a hug. "Please go home and rest you're really starting to sound congested."
"Thanks mom."
"No problem. Love you honey."
Instead of responding Clarke gave her friend the middle finger as she walked out of the coffee shop.
XOXO
"We all told you, you were getting sick." Clarke shook her head from where it was lying against her pillow in bed.
"No, I have to get up, I have dinner plans with Lex and I gotta go into work tonight."
Octavia raised an eyebrow and looked at the state her friend was in. She was buried under her blankets, her head barely poking out. Her nose was red, her eyes were puffy, saying she looked bad was an understatement, especially because she sounded even worse. "You aren't going anywhere. I'll call Lexa and cancel, her and I have been taking bets on how long it was going to take you to really feel the cold you've been fighting."
"Rude." Was all Clarke could manage to get out.
"You always get sick this time of year when it starts to get colder, you did a good job fighting it off but not good enough. I'll be downstairs if you need anything, just groan or something and don't worry I have my gun if you turn into a zombie."
Clarke wanted nothing more than to lift her hand and tell her friend exactly what she thought in that moment but she didn't even have enough energy to finish her thought.
XOXO
Octavia smiled as she opened Clarke's front door. "Hey thanks for coming by, I don't want to leave her alone, it's hitting her pretty hard. I tried to call Fox and Monroe but they're on shift. She hasn't been this sick in a long time." Even though she was in a bit of a rush to go to work she noted exactly how Lexa's eyes opened as she scanned the room. "Have you never been up here before?"
"Can't say that I have, we haven't exactly reached that point yet. Usually I say goodnight on the steps."
"You two are so weird and totally dating, congrats. Anyways, got anything for me in that bag?" Lexa shook her head with a grin and pulled out Octavia's favourite chocolate bar, Oh Henry! "Ugh this is why I love you!" She pulled the other brunette into a quick hug before taking the chocolate and moving aside so that Lexa could walk into the room. "Stinky, I'm leaving for work now, if you need anything text me." Octavia yelled into back over her shoulder. "See, she's dead on the couch."
Lexa smiled as she watched Octavia leave and closed the door behind her. It felt so weird for her to be in Clarke's place without being invited by Clarke herself but she knew that Clarke was never a good patient. She always knew what Octavia knew, she couldn't be trusted to stay home without supervision. Even though she wouldn't perform surgeries in the state she was in, both women knew that wouldn't stop her from going in to get other work done.
She moved further into Clarke's apartment and placed the bag she was holding on the kitchen counter. Everything about the place was very Clarke. From the high ceilings to the open concept, it had structure and definition. That's when she spotted the blonde lying on her couch, the TV on just loud enough to be background noise. Shaking her head Lexa picked the back up off the counter and moved towards the living room, to set it down on the coffee table.
A half an hour later Clarke woke up to the sound of the TV. Her head still felt like it was about to explode and her body felt just as achy and bad. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed the bag on her coffee table. Lifting her hair barely off the pillow she saw Lexa, sitting on the floor, back resting against the couch.
"I'm sorry I couldn't do lunch." She croaked out, far too tired to even care if it was embarrassing or not.
Lexa turned her head with a soft smile on her face. "It's okay, I warned you about getting sick, but I brought lunch to you when you're up for eating."
"You didn't have to do that." She sniffled as Lexa turned so that she could look at her.
"It's just some soup and crackers and apple juice."
Clarke shook her head ever so slightly. "I meant you didn't have to come over here because Octavia asked."
"I came over here because you're a terrible patient and I had nothing better to do today." She smiled and instinctively her head reached up and started to gently rub up and down Clarke's back over the blanket. Clarke sniffled again, her nose clearly stuffed up.
"What else is in the bag?"
Lexa smiled as she reached her other hand over and started slowly pulling items from the bag. "Cold medicine, yes I know it makes you loopy but you need to take it. Kleenex with the Vicks in it so that it helps your nose. Vicks lotion to help you breathe, the first season of the O.C. on blu-ray and some candy for when you start to feel better. Oh and…" She reached back into the bag, "…Mr. Cuddles. I know this was the hardest part of our breakup for you, losing Mr. Cuddles."
Without thinking Clarke reached her arm out to take a hold of the small stuffed penguin. "It smells like you."
"He does sleep with me on the regular." Lexa watched as the small smile took over Clarke's face.
"That's cute."
Lexa grinned. "I see you've taken some cold medicine already."
Clarke nodded. "Octavia made me, I hate taking it, it makes me feel so stoned."
Lexa couldn't help but laugh. "Not stoned, adorable."
"If you say so."
"You must really not be feeling well if you aren't even going to attempt to argue with me." She watched Clarke shiver and her hand instantly went to the other woman's forehead. "You have a fever."
Clarke nodded as she let out a small yawn. "That does explain why I'm so cold."
"Do you want another blanket?" Lexa offered.
"No, I'm okay thank you though."
"I'm going to put the O.C. on for you and I'll be right here if you need anything."
XOXO
"You're house is much nicer than the Cohen house." Clarke said as she woke up to the feeling of fingers softly brushing her hair back.
"You've mentioned that before." Lexa smiled, her fingers still absentmindedly running through Clarke's hair as the blonde's head rested on her lap.
Clarke nodded. "Thank you, for keeping me company but I don't want to keep you all night. Especially because I'll probably fall asleep again soon."
"I'm not going anywhere, and before you argue there is no other place I want to be."
Without another word Clarke closed her eyes once again with Mr. Cuddles tucked safely under her arm.
XOXO
At some point, hours later Clarke woke up to the sound of her door opening. "Hey sweetie, just came to check on your during my break but it seems like you are well taken care of." Octavia couldn't help but grin at the way her two friends were cuddled on the couch. Lexa's arm was wrapped around Clarke's waist, their heads sharing Clarke's pillows.
"Shh, she's sleeping, and you're blocking the TV."
"Sorrrrryyyy." Octavia rolled her eyes. "Have you been taking your medication?"
Clarke nodded, still loopy from the meds. "Mhmm, Lexi's been making me, she's cute can we keep her?"
Octavia bit her lip in an attempt to not laugh. "I think we can keep her, at least until we find her a good home." Her answer seemed to satisfy her friend. "Don't have too much fun kids, I'm gonna head back to work. I'll text you later."
XOXO
"I am so sorry I fell asleep." Lexa said as she opened her eyes and realized the position her and Clarke were in on the couch.
"It's okay, me and Mr. Cuddles have just been watching TV."
Lexa looked up over Clarke's shoulder. "I can see that, what happened to the O.C.?"
Clarke shrugged. "Grey's anatomy marathon instead. I was feeling some Callie and Arizona. The cute stuff before they go through all the crap and get divorced." Clarke coughed and Lexa decided then that it was a good time to get up.
"Grey's works for me, I'm going to make you some soup, get something in your stomach." Clarke nodded as she watched Lexa get up off the couch and walk into the kitchen. "By the way, this place is amazing."
"Thanks." Clarke sniffled again before blowing her nose. "And thanks for staying with me, I hate being alone when I'm sick."
"Yeah, I know." Lexa smiled as she walked back into the living room. "Soup is on and here is some apple juice, with a bendy straw."
"You're really pretty." Clarke let out like it was nothing before drinking some of her juice.
Lexa really couldn't help the smile on her face. She may have made fun of Clarke for saying that if it wasn't her the girls half dazed expression as she had said it. "You're really pretty too."
"Yep, I know. That's why you call me pretty girl."
Lexa laughed a little before leaning over and kissing Clarke's forehead before getting up and heading back into the kitchen.
XOXO
After Clarke ate, they watched roughly four hours of Grey's anatomy before Clarke fell asleep with her head in Lexa's lap. It was then that Lexa decided the best place for the blonde was in bed. It took her a few minutes to find the courage to move off the couch before leaning down and doing her best to lift Clarke up off the couch. She slowly made her way up the steps to where she assumed Clarke's room was. Sure enough once she reached the top of the steps she saw the large bed.
She softly placed Clarke down and went back downstairs to turn off the TV and grab the woman's pillow off the couch.
"I thought you had left." Clarke mumbled once Lexa reappeared at the top of the steps.
"No, still here for now."
Clarke shook her head at Lexa's statement. "Stay. Please?" Her eyes were barely open but Lexa couldn't deny Clarke what she wanted. "You can change into my clothes. Take whatever you want." She let out another cough and rolled over as Lexa shook her head.
Ten minutes later Lexa sat on the edge of Clarke's bed as she rubbed Vicks lotion onto her back. "I'll be right downstairs okay? You're phone is on the bedside table." Once again Clarke shook her head no and patted the empty space on the bed beside her. "Okay pretty girl." With that she moved around to the other side of the bed and got in under the covers. Only to have an arm wrap around her waist and a head on her chest moments later.
"I'm sorry if I get you sick, I can go sleep over there if you want." Lexa smiled even though Clarke couldn't see it, her arms wrapping around the blonde.
"No, you're fine right where you are."
They were silent for a few minutes before Clarke finally spoke. "You think you're sneaky but I know it was you that brought everyone here for my birthday. You let Octavia take credit but I know that a lot of that was."
"How did you know that?"
A moment. "Because I know you Lexi, I always have."
Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat as she tilted her head slightly and kissed the top of Clarke's head. "Get some sleep beautiful, I'll be here when you wake up." Yep. She definitely had a crush on her ex-girlfriend.
"Lex?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad we're friends again, I really missed you."
"I've really missed you too Clarke." This was so them, late night honesty and confessions. This was always their time and Lexa knew she was screwed and it was the first time she thought that maybe it wasn't just an innocent crush. In that moment she made a vow to herself and to Clarke even though she knew the other girl hadn't heard her because she was fast asleep.
TBC…
