gina3: I think Nicole is just out of the picture.. Lol
Guest: hopefully they will do..
Guest: I am really sorry that my story reminds you of your story.. I hope you and your gf work it out.. As for this story i am sure things will work out
OriginalRecipe: Well.. Add five years of anger and then you have someone, aka Spencer, over the edge listening to someone who hurt her.. There you have the slap. Although i am against violence in any way
Itsallgood: Very well said..
tpt: maybe maybe not.. Who knows? Lol..
Chapter 29
Spencer's POV
It was one week after Ashley came by my house confessing her love to me, her mistake, her wanting us to be the same as before but how could I forget her so easily? I couldn't.. And that was the problem..
I haven't seen her again.. Nor in any restaurant or bar.. She didn't come by my house and although I did pass outside hers I didn't stop.. I just couldn't forget all this heartache she put me through..
I was already three weeks here.. More than I planned to stay.. I saw my mom exactly four times in three weeks.. Way to greet your child.. But that didn't affect me as much as seeing Ashley again..
As for my date with Nicole.. Nicole was an amazing woman.. She was everything you would want in a girl.. But as much as I would like to start something with her, in my mind, although it shouldn't, was Ashley.. And I am afraid it will always be.. No matter where I would be.. No matter with whom I would be with.. They wouldn't have all of me.. Because Ashley had all of me.. So I was a stubborn, miserable person.. Because, although I knew who I wanted, I still couldn't forgive or forget..
"Spencer, I hate seeing you leave"
"I know dad.. It was nice seeing you as well.. I promise I will come more often.."
"Till I see you again I won't believe you.." I got closer to him and gave him a big hug.. He was my rock.. He was there for me when I needed him the most.. He wasn't as strict as my mom but I knew that when he pushed me he pushed me for my own good and not because of his reputation..
"I love you.."
"I love you too.. And Spencer.." he said while I was ready to open the door.. "The heart is a very precious thing.. It can be hurt but it doesn't mean it can't beat again.. I'll miss you princess.."
"Me too.. I'll call you from Boston.."
Leaving my hometown I felt like that day those years ago.. Sad, broken.. But this time I wasn't as angry as before.. Maybe angry with myself this time.. Angry though for what? I still couldn't figure it out.. Angry for letting Ashley come close to my heart again? Angry because I should have chased what I wanted? Angry because I didn't do anything? Angry because I still loved her..
When I came back in Boston and I opened the door to my apartment I never felt lonelier.. I would start again from where I was left on.. Go at the university.. Prepare my dissertation and start reading the new material for the new semester.. What was Ashley doing though? Was she back in California as well? Did she go back to what she was doing or who she was doing? These thoughts were driving me insane..
The next weeks of summer went by as fast as I would say ice cream.. I kept myself busy.. My dad also came for a visit to see me and Clay.. Besides, Clay was still living in Boston as I did.. He was a physicist and experimenting to things I didn't understand.. I wasn't into that kind of studies anyway.. But it was warming my heart knowing my brother was close enough if I needed someone..
And as much I would keep my mind occupied she was still there.. I knew that after seeing her I wouldn't be able to forget her.. She still had that affect to me.. Even after all these years.. She just had something I couldn't describe..
I have to admit that I searched for her on the internet.. She was indeed an amazing artist and her name was already showing up in the art world.. I saw her with this girl she was with that day at the park.. Lucy.. The picture was taken recently so she was in California.. What I didn't understand is why she chased me again and then she left like she never told me all these words.. Why she didn't try to text me again.. And the only reason I could think of was that she thought that I was in a relationship with Nicole.. And if she felt what I felt when I thought that Lucy was her girlfriend then I could put myself into her shoes..
Six months later
On a cold Saturday of January when you just want to sleep in, stay in bed and see the snow outside you think that the only thing missing is someone to put their arms around you and hold you.. Give you a kiss and share the moment with you..
It was one of these days I just missed having someone.. It wasn't difficult to find someone.. If you are open enough you will meet this someone and you will share this moment with.. But what is the most important is to share it with the only person you love.. And that's why I wasn't with just anyone.. I was just waiting to be with that someone I loved..
I read again the post card I received at Christmas and still couldn't believe.. It was from Ashley.. Since I got it I read it I don't know how many times.. It didn't say a lot but it said enough to start making my broken heart start beating again..
"Spence,
I know you are wondering how I got your address.. I am sure you know I got it from your dad so please don't be mad at him.. In a way I think he wants to see us together again.. So.. What I want to say is one thing.. I love you.. It took me forever to write this down and it took me forever to admit to you how foolish I am.. I don't ask to be forgiven right away but I want you to give me a chance.. Please accept that I am an idiot.. I have been called an idiot many of times already.. If you are with someone at this moment I will understand and I'll step away but if you are not just give us a chance.. You will find my phone number written and my address.. I'll wait for your call..
Ashley"
It was close to a month and I still couldn't find the strength to make that call.. This time I was the one who was afraid to make that move.. I was afraid to let my heart be open again and be hurt.. I don't think I would be able to survive a heartache again.. But from the other hand it was that thing I was waiting for.. I was waiting all this long for a sign that she wanted to try again.. That I meant something to her.. I just wanted to see her trying,, And I had that sign in front of me.. What was I still waiting for I don't know.. And that cold Saturday of January I made that call..
The phone rang three times before she picked it up.. And her voice was sleepy but yet sounded beautiful.. I now understood that I missed her..
"Hello.."
"Hi.. Its me.." I said haltingly.. There was a pause before I hear her say something..
"Spence.."
"Yes, that's me.." I said with a shy smile she couldn't see..
"Hi.."
"Hi.."
"You called.."
"I did yes.."
"I thought you wouldn't.. I actually thought I would never hear from you again.."
"I called yes.."
"Spence.. I want to tell you that.."
"Ash.. Just.. Just listen to me now.. I heard you.. I read you.. Now I just want you to listen.." she didn't say anything back and I took that as my cue to continue.. "First there is no one in my life.. Or haven't been that is.. You know that it has been you all this long.. And in a way I blame you that I couldn't move on in my life because you still held that piece of my heart as silly as it sounds.. But I realized one thing.. That I love you.. It took me as well a long time to admit it to myself and to you right now.. I love you Ashley but I am not ready to start anything with you yet.. I still can't forgive you.."
"I understand.."
"But we can talk.. And maybe in our free time you could come in Boston or I could come in California.. I can't stop you from being with someone.."
"I don't want to be with anyone else besides you.."
"That's good to hear Ash.. But that's all I can do for now.."
"It's ok with me if that's what you want.."
"That's all I can offer.. We just take it slow.."
"Slow it is then.." I heard her smile and I closed my eyes just bringing it in my mind.. "So that means we can call each other?"
"Yes.."
"Ok.."
"What time is it over there anyway? I hope I didn't wake you up.."
"No you didn't.. Don't worry.. So talk to you soon?"
"Talk to you soon yes.."
"Bye Spence.."
"Bye Ash.."
And after all these years I just felt happy again.. It's not that I wasn't happy exactly.. I was just missing that part of my life or that person that could make it happier.. And like that I couldn't wait till I talked to her again..
TBC
Reviews are always welcome
