Emily had to admit that Osgood had gone all out for Kate's birthday dinner party. She had laid the table in the dining room, pulling out the 'good china' as Kate called it and even setting candles and napkin rings out. There was a delicious smell wafting into the living room from the kitchen and Emily's stomach rumbled immediately in response.
Serena laughed. "You wouldn't believe she ate a whole pizza for lunch."
"Happy birthday, Mum." The younger woman said, shooting her girlfriend a mock-glare as she leant forward to press a kiss to Kate's cheek. "It's not much because… well… I'm skint."
"I offered to pay–"
"Yeah, but I said no. Paying half and half is fine for a joint present," Emily cut across her girlfriend quickly, "but I don't want Serena bailing me out. I'll find a job soon, OK?"
As the couple exchanged a look, Kate glanced knowingly at her own girlfriend. Osgood jerked her shoulders in an approximation of a shrug but didn't comment. Emily was the topic of a lot of their conversations recently; her struggle to find any form of employment and the still bitter feud with Serena's daughter the main sub-categories within the subject.
"It smells delicious, anyway." Serena said with a broad smile, breaking the tension. "What are we having, Osgood?"
"That's a surprise!" The brunette grinned, handing her a glass of Shiraz before silently asking whether Emily wanted one as well.
"Os wouldn't even tell me!" Kate laughed, glancing at her girlfriend fondly. "She hasn't given me my present, either. I think she forgot."
"I did not forget." Osgood retorted in mock-offence. "How could I when you were dropping birthday related hints every two minutes?"
She rushed off as the doorbell rang again, appearing a moment or two later with Gordy and Lorna. The young man had only brought his girlfriend over a couple of times prior to that evening and was still slightly wary about leaving her alone with his family. He was slightly more reassured that his sister wouldn't do anything terrible now that she had Serena's steadying influence in her life, but Lorna was shy and Emily was probably still too much for her to handle without a line of defence.
"Are you going to open your present, then?" Emily asked once the second round of greetings had taken place and they were all settled in the living room with pre-dinner drinks.
"I just want to say that although I contributed financially, I had absolutely nothing to do with the choice." Serena announced, her eyes sparkling.
Emily grinned. "Nope, I'm claiming all of the credit."
"Credit?" Serena tilted her head and wrinkled her nose. "Or blame?"
"Shh, you."
Pressing a quick kiss to her lips, Emily turned to watch her mother carefully unwrapping the brightly coloured paper. Kate's eyebrows furrowed as she revealed the dark grey fabric inside. Holding it up, everyone realised that it was a sweatshirt, but only Kate could see the design on the front.
"Of course…" Rolling her eyes, she lowered the jumper and arched an eyebrow at her daughter. "Really?"
Laughing delightedly, Emily slipped off the sofa and plucked the garment from her mother's hands and, with a flourish, revealed the design to everyone else. Gordy snorted with amusement and Serena and Osgood chuckled at the gift that was so in keeping with Emily's attitude to life. Lorna blinked several times, obviously slightly bemused by the situation.
On the front of the sweatshirt was a picture of the earth, a rainbow rocket and another unidentified planet. In the wake of the rocket's journey across the front of the fabric were the words 'certified space lesbian'. Emily cackled delightedly, completely entertained by her own gift and sense of humour.
"It's perfect, right?" She demanded, turning to her mother.
Kate laughed. "I love it."
"Excellent. I'll get Os a matching one for her birthday."
"Way to spoil that surprise, Ems." Her brother teased her, before handing Kate a small gift bag with a tag that denoted it was from him and Lorna. "I'm sorry this isn't as funny as her present."
"Probably cost about four times as much, though." Emily shot back with a grin and only a minimal hint of malice.
"Yeah, probably." Gordy agreed casually.
The young woman retreated to sit on the floor at her girlfriend's feet, leaning against Serena's legs, as Kate pulled a small, neatly wrapped box out of the gift bag. She opened it with just as much care as she'd opened the gift from her daughter, pulling out a dark blue box. Inside the box was a diamond necklace and earring set that had obviously cost a fair amount of money.
Clapping a hand over her mouth, she hugged Gordy and then Lorna tightly, not missing the expression that fleetingly crossed Emily's face as she thanked them. Diplomatic as ever, Kate pulled her sweatshirt over the top of her blouse and fixed the diamond earrings into her ears.
"Good job I haven't got you earrings or a sweatshirt," Osgood mused with a grin, "or what would you have done?"
"Well you haven't so I don't need to think about it." Her girlfriend replied with a chuckle, pulling Osgood close enough to press a kiss to her cheek. "When do I get my present, anyway? Or is it not for general viewing?"
Osgood went scarlet at the implication, both of her stepchildren snorting with laughter as she slapped Kate's shoulder lightly. "No, actually, it's quite the opposite. But I'm going to make you wait until after dinner for that comment."
Refusing to pay any attention to the birthday girl's complaints, Osgood ushered the guests into the dining room and told them to take their seats. She returned a moment later and placed a serving dish of lasagne in the centre of the table. Immediately Kate and her children started to laugh, much to Serena and Lorna's confusion.
"Birthday lasagne!" Gordy exclaimed. "Amazing! Nice one, Os."
"Get in!" Emily cheered triumphantly. "I totally love you, Osgood!"
"It's a birthday tradition." Kate explained as her girlfriend returned with two baskets of garlic bread and a bowl of salad, which she placed at either end of the table. "Ever since the kids were little we'd have birthday lasagne."
"Until the last couple of years." Gordy shrugged. "I'm not sure why, but we just stopped doing it."
"I thought it was an excellent time to revive the tradition." Osgood told them, smiling around. "There's Viennetta for pudding."
"Mint?" Emily questioned.
"Obviously."
"Seriously, Mum, this one is a keeper." Gordy pointed his fork in Osgood's direction, his mouth full of food.
Kate smiled adoringly at her girlfriend. "Mmm… I'd kind of worked that out for myself."
They ate quickly, everyone curious about what Osgood had got for Kate. The meal was delicious and the brunette blushed furiously as compliments were showered on her. She stood to clear the dirty plates away, but Kate laid a hand on her arm and shot a very obvious look at her children, indicating that they should offer instead. Taking the hint, Emily and Gordy rose from the table and carried the plates and bowls into the kitchen. Their playful bickering was audible from the dining room but Kate was loathed to move unless it sounded as though someone was actually going to get hurt.
Before long the pair returned, bringing the promised Viennetta with them. As she dished it out, Emily asked Osgood whether it was time for the present yet. With a sigh the older brunette relented and left the room quickly. On her return, everyone was confused at the lack of anything resembling a present on her person.
Her intention became clear, however, as she sank to the carpeted ground in front of Kate and held out a small, red box in her direction. Kate's eyes widened comically and one hand flew up to cover her mouth as Osgood opened the box and revealed a delicate white gold band with a brilliant solitaire diamond set into it.
"I've been carrying this around with me for months, trying to find the perfect time to give it to you." Osgood said softly. "I knew from the moment I met you that you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but it took a couple of years and a nudge in the right direction to get us here."
Sensing that Emily was about to jump in and spoil the moment with some comment or other, Serena clamped a hand down on her thigh. Catching her eye, she simply shook her head sharply with the hint of a smirk twisting her lips. Instead of responding, Emily turned Serena's hand over and entwined their fingers, before turning her attention back to the couple in front of them.
"Your birthday seemed like the perfect opportunity to ask you this, because we'd be surrounded by the people who matter most to us. I love you so much, Kate." Osgood continued. With a shy smile, she looked up at Kate. "So… what do you say?"
"You haven't actually asked me anything, yet." The blonde pointed out in a small voice, brimming with emotion.
"Oh… oh, yeah, right…" Osgood blushed, before steeling herself and taking a deep breath. "Kate Stewart, love of my life, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"
Unable to speak, Kate simply nodded, pulling Osgood towards her and kissing her thoroughly. Gordy broke the silence with a loud whoop, before leaping out of his chair and moving round the table to envelope them both in a tight hug.
"Do you think Os meant to make her proposal rhyme?" Emily asked quietly, smiling more widely than Serena had ever seen her smile before.
"I shouldn't think so." Serena replied with a chuckle. "Go and congratulate them, then!"
While Emily went to join in the group hug, Serena spotted the bottle of champagne on the sideboard and opened it deftly. Filling up the flutes that had been placed on the tray beside the bottle, she carried them over to the table and handed them out. As Gordy glanced at his sister, receiving a nod of encouragement, Serena wrapped her arm around Emily's waist.
"I just want to say…" Gordy started, looking a little embarrassed as everyone turned to look at him. "Well, I just wanted to say congratulations to Mum and Os. I would welcome you to the family, but you're already part of our family and we – me and Em – love you both so much."
"He's right." Emily agreed, raising her glass in their direction. "This time, anyway."
Kate laughed and was about to say something, when a familiar sound met their ears. With a loud groan, the blonde hastily led the way into the living room in time to see the TARDIS materialising in the exact spot that the coffee table had previously occupied.
"Hello, hello!" The Doctor erupted out of the TARDIS. He went straight over to Gordy, shaking his hand heartily and grinning. "You must be Gordon, heard a lot about you."
Gordy's mouth dropped open. "Is that…?"
"What are you doing here, Eyebrows?" Emily asked with a deep sigh. "It's Mum's birthday… we don't need any drama tonight."
"I know it's her birthday! That's why I'm here." He pulled a face at her, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small, wrapped box. "Happy birthday, Kate Stewart."
"Th– Thank you, Doctor."
When she hesitated, clearly thrown by the gift, he rolled his eyes and leant in conspiratorially. "You're supposed to open it." He said in a loud stage whisper.
She opened the parcel to reveal a large glass cube. Looking at it in confusion for a moment, she glanced at the Time Lord for a clue as to what it was and what it was supposed to do. He sighed dramatically, plucking it from her hands and holding it up for them all to see.
"It's a Guglian Sun Cube." He explained impatiently. "It's decorative. It's nice."
"Yes… thank you, Doctor." Kate replied, genuinely surprised that he had thought to buy her a gift at all. "You didn't need to."
"I know I didn't. I wanted to." He told her, looking around the room curiously. Then he glanced back at her hand, picking it up and peering at the engagement ring. The Doctor's face split into a delighted grin. "You finally did it then, Osgood? Well, well, well… Congratulations!"
"Thank you, Doctor." Osgood beamed at him, wrapping an arm around Kate's waist. "I was terrified she was going to say no."
"Really?" Kate and the Doctor asked at the same time, turning to look at her.
"Why would you think I'd say no?" Kate frowned.
"I don't know… we've just never really… I don't know!"
"It's probably a good job she said yes." The Doctor continued with a nod, flicking the Sonic Screwdriver and looking at the reading he'd just taken. "You might want to tie the knot sooner rather than later, though, while you can still walk down the aisle. Waddling down the aisle doesn't sound as good."
"What?" Osgood blinked rapidly. "What are you talking about, Doctor?"
"You're pregnant." He told her bluntly. "I could smell it. The Sonic Screwdriver just confirmed it."
Everyone's mouths dropped open at his revelation. Slowly all eyes turned to Osgood, who had gone extremely pale and looked as though she might be about to throw up. Kate looked back at the Doctor for a moment, before looking down at her fiancée's stomach.
"How…?"
"Seven weeks."
"No, I meant, how–?"
"I have a very acute sense of smell. I can smell pregnancy a mile off. Two and a quarter, actually, when the wind is coming from the right direction."
"No, Doctor." Kate shook her head at him. "How did this happen?"
He furrowed his eyebrows at her. "You already have two children, Kate? I would have thought you'd understand–"
She held up her hands. "No, Doctor. I understand that part. Well, I don't, actually because I know that Osgood has only slept with me since we got together. Besides, seven weeks ago we were with you, on board the TARDIS. How is this physically possible?"
"Well, if you will book a Retrexan Fertility Massage… They're famous for altering genetics. And the Time Vortex has been known to do some very odd things…"
"Fertility massage?" Emily asked, her mouth dropping open at the Doctor's inadvertent revelation. "Wait… that's what Osgood was having at the Spa? Why didn't you just say?"
"Why didn't I tell my daughter – who already has boundary issues – that my girlfriend was having a fertility massage?" Kate asked, arching one eyebrow and folding her arms. "I wonder…"
"So…" Serena held up her hands, trying to follow the thread of the conversation. "Because Osgood had a fertility massage when we were at that spa, Kate has somehow managed to get her pregnant? That isn't biologically possible."
"I'd guess that they…" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I mean, I'd assume that the actual… Well, I would theorise that the actual creation took place on board the TARDIS while we were in the Time Vortex." He pulled a face. "That's not allowed, by the way. Next time any of you come travelling with me, there'll be none of those shenanigans."
"Doctor… I don't understand. How did this happen? Serena's right, it's not biologically possible."
"Wait, wait, wait…" Gordy held up his hands. "Are you saying that Osgood has become some kind of self-pollinating plant?"
"Like a sunflower?" Lorna ventured, reminding everyone that she was still there.
"Yes!" The Doctor pointed at her. "Well done, new girl."
"So… she could just spontaneously spawn?" Emily asked, pulling a face.
Osgood looked terrified. "Doctor?"
"No, no. There would have to be a stimulus… something Kate did or–"
"Yeah, I think we can all guess what that was." The blonde's daughter smirked.
The Doctor furrowed his eyebrows as though he didn't understand the insinuation, but dismissed it as trivial and continued. "I'd hazard a guess that it was a combination of factors that led to this outcome; the fertility massage, the Time Vortex, perhaps a heightened emotional state. Did you eat or drink anything unusual?"
"Umm…" Osgood thought carefully. "They gave me some tea? It was odd… spicy and sweet at the same time."
He nodded knowingly. "Ooptnguga tea; an incredibly potent aphrodisiac. There's a naturally occurring chemical compound within the Ooptnguga plant that forces isogamy rather than anisogamy within reproduction. It really is a fascinating subject."
"… so their gametes have been reduced to mating-types rather than two examples of the same sex? They've literally just fused their eggs together to form a zygote?"
Everyone turned to look at Gordy's girlfriend in bemusement. She seemed to have more of a grasp on what the Doctor was saying than anyone else. The scientists and surgeon were nodding slowly as he spoke, but Emily and Gordy had gone slightly cross-eyed during his explanation.
"Precisely!" The Doctor nodded. "This one has brains."
"She's a geneticist." Gordy explained quickly. "So… because of this tea and the massage and the Time Vortex…"
"We're getting a baby brother or sister?" Her daughter asked. "Excellent! A miracle baby… we can totally cash in on this."
"We will absolutely do nothing of the sort." Kate informed her bluntly, wrapping her arms around her fiancée and pressing a kiss to her check.
"No, we won't." Osgood agreed, sending her stepdaughter a hard look, one hand resting lightly over Kate's on her stomach.
"I was only kidding." Emily rolled her eyes. "Obviously…"
