Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.


XXIX. Never Let Me Go

"I keep on running
I'm building bridges that I know you never wanted
Look for my heart
You stole it away
Now on every single road that I could take
Listen, I want you to burn my bridges down"

OneRepublic - Burning Bridges


Severus had spent the rest of the day outside, and had had the opportunity to go to Hogwarts in order to have a discussion with Minerva McGonagall. The Hogwarts' headmistress had asked to see him, and Severus had been surprised to hear that the former Head of Gryffindor House had wanted him to return to duty at the school.

"I have to admit that we miss your teachings, Severus. Hogwarts suffered a great loss when you decided to resign, more than a year ago," she had said, her lips pinched as always.

"I do not intend to return to Hogwarts, Minerva...," Severus had drawled, even if the idea had crossed his mind several times. "I am enjoying this time far from Hogwarts."

"I heard about it," the Headmistress had retorted, a weak smile over her face. "Your name is in the Daily Prophet almost every day. I am quite admiring, Severus, really. But are you really sure that you don't want to teach anymore? You are the Potions Master of Miss Granger, if I'm right..."

"You are wrong," Severus had cut her off, with a weird expression on his face. "I am not her Master anymore, she decided to put an end to our collaboration, two months ago."

Minerva McGonagall had raised a surprised eyebrow, and had folded her hands in front of her. "How come, Severus? Did Miss Granger decide not to become a Potion Mistress, after all?"

Severus had let out a dry laugh, before shaking his head. "Not at all. She decided to work with another Potions Master, actually. Tilden Toots is his name..."

"Tilden Toots? I have to admit that I am quite disappointed with her choice... Mr. Toots is not known for his brilliant knowledge, far from it."

"It was her choice, I don't want to talk about it. You just need to know that I have no intention to teach again, at Hogwarts or at Spinner's End. I am done with this."

"So I guess that you are going to focus on your research?"

Severus had nodded, and they had talked about the potions that he was working on. They had spent many hours together, and eventually, Severus had left Hogwarts, heading to Clarence's apothecary to buy some ingredients that he was in need of.

At the stroke of five, however, he had decided that it was time to go home. Being outside had allowed him not to think of Hermione Granger. Hermione... He had been shocked to see that her examination hadn't gone as good as he had thought it would go in the first place. She had seemed to be different than the last time that he had had the occasion to look at her; she had seemed almost afraid to be in front of five examiners, but this fear had gone away as soon as he had been alone with her.

Why had she tried to talk to him? She had been the one who had left, and who had never come back.

Severus opened the back door of his house, and lighted up the dining room before removing his black cloak which he put on the back of the closest chair. He was about to go to his laboratory when he heard a knock at the entrance door. Frowning, he went to the door to open it, and a second later, he was looking at Hermione Granger, who was shuddering despite her red coat, her hair full of snow.

For a second, Severus thought that closing the door was the best thing that he could do, but then their eyes met, and he let out a sigh.

"What do you want, again?," he asked in a low voice, his jaw clenched.

"I... I waited for you all day, but you didn't answer," she stammered, before sneezing.

"You shouldn't have," Severus retorted, his right eyebrow raised.

"I need to talk to you," Hermione insisted, hoarsely. "Please, let me in..."

"Didn't I make myself clear this morning?," he said, taking a step towards her, and closing the door behind him. He saw her taking a step back and nodding instinctively.

"You did, yes," she whispered. "But you didn't give me the opportunity to talk to you. I have a lot of things to tell you, and I can't do it in these conditions."

"And who says that I want to listen to you in the first place?," he said with a smirk. "You heard me, Miss Granger; I have nothing to say to you."

"I'm not asking you to talk to me, I just want you to listen to what I have to say," Hermione specified, her eyes wide open. "Please, I'm freezing out here, I've been here since midday..."

Severus frowned, but he was sure that she wasn't lying. Her hair was full of snow, her nose was red, and she was sneezing from time to time. He hesitated a second or two, but he knew that there was only one option possible; she wouldn't return to her parent's house anytime soon, since she seemed to be eager to talk to him no matter what.

"Come on in...," he eventually drawled while returning into his house, and he closed the door behind her.

Hermione looked at the living room, and a weak smile took shape on her face.

"It hasn't changed...," she muttered, while Severus headed to his favorite armchair and sat in it.

"Please, sit down," he managed to say through clenched teeth. "I'm giving you the opportunity to talk to me, but I want to be clear: as soon as you are done, you must leave."

He saw her bow her head a little, but she nodded nevertheless. A few seconds passed, and Hermione eventually looked up at Severus, meeting his dark eyes with her chestnut ones.

"I don't know where to begin...," she whispered, as embarrassed as when she had been in the Ministry's office with him.

"With the beginning, if I can help you?," Severus said ironically, his eyes as dark as the night that was about to fall over Spinner's End.

Hermione bit her lower lip, and tried to clear her head; it wasn't as easy as she had thought it would be. Words were spinning all over her head, and she couldn't properly focus on one thing at a time. Deep down, she just wanted to hold Severus in her arms and to beg for his forgiveness. She knew that she wasn't the only one who was at fault here, but she also knew that she had to make the first step if she truly wanted to repair their broken relationship. But things weren't that easy, and Severus seemed to be on the defensive, as he had been several times before she had managed to find her path to his heart. But that seemed to be so long ago, she thought while shaking her head.

"I'm still waiting...," Severus trailed off, as he began to tap the leather of his armchair, with an impatient gesture.

"I left," Hermione blurted quickly, looking right into Severus' eyes. The tall man didn't move, and she noticed that his jaw was tighter than ever.

"This is something that I already know, Miss Granger," he muttered icily.

"I ran away," she insisted, as if she was trying to trigger a reaction from her former Potions Master.

"And what am I supposed to say to this... sudden confession?"

"Nothing," Hermione admitted. "You have nothing to say; I screwed up."

This time, she managed to elicit a reaction from Severus. He let out a laugh, and his smile even managed to reach his eyes; they seemed to be softer than before.

"You screwed up? If I had still been your teacher, I would have asked you to mind your language, Miss..."

"But you're not anymore..."

"Exactly, I am not your teacher anymore," he confirmed, and the smile on his face faded away in a second.

"I've spent so many nights thinking about this situation... thinking about what happened between us. I tried to understand what went wrong, what I did wrong, and...," she began, her eyes fixed on him. "And I couldn't figure it out."

Severus moved in his armchair, but didn't say a thing. He was obviously waiting for her to continue her story.

"I couldn't figure it out," Hermione repeated, "because I was so obtuse then. I really was. I was so sure that you were wrong and that I was the victim in all of this masquerade. After all, you were the one who told me these horrible things."

"Horrible things?," Severus repeated, one eyebrow raised. "I don't know what you are talking about."

"Do I really need to refresh your memory?," she sighed. "Doesn't "I let you enter in my life, and it's quite enough for now" ring a bell?" she said in a low voice.

Severus didn't answer, but he eventually nodded, urging her to continue.

"But in the end... Some things happened, and I changed my mind. Actually, it helped me to better understand this situation. You know, I never was in a relationship like the one we had. Believe it or not, but it was the first time that I was so close to a man. I didn't know how to behave, I didn't know what I needed to do... I thought that what we shared was enough."

"Enough for what?," Severus asked slowly when he understood that Hermione wasn't going to talk any further.

"Enough to make things alright between us. But it wasn't, was it?" she said.

During several seconds, they didn't say a word. Hermione was looking right at Severus, waiting for a sign from him; a sign that would give her hope, hope that their relationship could start anew. A single word would have been enough, even a simple movement towards her would have sufficed. But Severus didn't move, and Hermione bit the inside of her cheek to avoid showing the emotional pain that she was feeling at that exact moment.

"Say something, please...," she eventually whispered, desperate to know what he was thinking.

"What do you want me to say? You are the one who wanted to talk, aren't you?"

"I need to know what you think of all this situation, I want... We need to talk, it's the only solution that I've got," she explained.

"The only solution to what, Hermione?," he asked, and Hermione felt her heart beat faster in her chest. He had said her given name.

"It's the only thing that I've found to repair our relationship," she muttered, and felt her cheeks blushing at the same time.

Severus let out a mean laugh, and got up from his armchair. "If it is the reason why you are here, I think that it's better if you leave."

Hermione also got up, and walked towards him, a concerned expression on her face. Severus was about to open his laboratory door when Hermione's hand gripped his wrist.

"Please, Severus, I just w... want to give us another chance," she stammered, scared to see him avoid her once again.

The Potions Master froze, and slowly turned around in order to meet her chestnut eyes, which were wet with the tears that were threatening to fall all over her face.

"You want to give us... another chance?," he repeated slowly, and Hermione understood that it wasn't a good sign; Severus always used this tone when he was angry or disappointed. She eventually nodded erratically, and she noticed the smirk in the corner of her ex-lover's lips.

"Say it, Hermione, say it again," Severus asked in a low voice, cocking his head to one side at the same time. He was looking at her like a predator looked at his prey, and Hermione felt uncomfortable under his dark gaze. But it didn't prevent her from saying what he seemed to be so eager to hear.

"I want to give us another chance," she repeated, louder this time. What happened next scared her to the core; Severus took her wrists in his large hands and pushed her back on the laboratory door. She was stuck between Severus' imposing and warm body and the cold door, unable to move.

Severus was looking at her, and he let out a laugh. "So you want to give us another chance...," he muttered, a few inches from her face. "You left, Hermione... You left. You... left," he said all over again, like a mantra. Hermione closed her eyes, and tried to focus on his breath, which she was able to feel on her forehead.

"Look at me, Hermione," Severus asked huskily, while raising her face with his hand on her chin. She quickly did as he said, and she met his dark eyes. To her great surprise, he seemed to be as lost as she was.

"I left...," Hermione said again. "And I'm so sorry, Severus...," she added in a sob. It was the first time of the day that the word "sorry" passed the barrier of her lips. It was just a murmur, but she hoped that it was loud enough for Severus to hear it.

"You are not sorry at all," Severus groaned while squeezing her wrists a little harder. "If you truly were sorry, you would have come back sooner, you would have..."

"I know," she interrupted him quickly, not wanting him to talk too much; she needed to convince him, and she couldn't do it if he was remaining unyielding. "But I was scared, and ashamed of myself at the same time... I acted like a child, and it was the worse idea that I ever had."

Severus frowned, and loosened his grip on her a bit. "What made you change your mind?," he asked in a low voice, his face still close to hers.

Hermione thought about the kiss that she had exchanged with Ron, but she decided to skip this part. "I had a discussion with my mother...," she trailed off.

"And it was enough for you to change your mind so quickly?," he asked suspiciously.

Severus' eyes were on her, and Hermione had the feeling that he was reading her thoughts. She swallowed hard, and decided to be honest with him. "There was this kiss too, with Ron, around Christmas...," she said slowly, looking at every emotion that could be seen on his face ; his expression was indecipherable, but Hermione saw that his jaw was clenched. She waited for him to talk, but obviously, he was waiting for her to continue her story. "I couldn't... reciprocate. I'm not going to lie to you, Severus: I tried to forget you, I really tried. I thought that I could live without you by my side, but every time that I almost reached that point, that moment when I almost forgot about you, about what we shared in the past, then your face always came back to haunt me. It's like... My mind didn't want to let you go, no matter how hard I tried..."

Severus' expression softened, and Hermione put her right hand on his face. "I need you to come back in my life, Severus," she whispered.

Severus closed his eyes when he felt her hand on his cheek, and let his forehead fall onto hers. Hermione let out a sigh of relief; Severus was finally not so reluctant to talk to her anymore. They spent several minutes in this position, but eventually, Severus let go of her wrists and put his large hands on her hips, opening the front of her coat at the same time.

"You said...," he began hoarsely, "that you kissed Ron Weasley at Christmas?"

Hermione bit her lower lip, and nodded slowly. "He was the one who started the kiss, to be honest. I was confused in the first place, and I confess that I kissed him back, but... it was nowhere near what I feel when I'm in your arms," she ended in a whisper.

Severus groaned, and brought her closer from him, sealing their lips in a kiss that Hermione didn't expect at all. She gently opened her mouth in order to let him in, and let out an appreciative moan. Her hands, now free from Severus' grip, were running in her Potions Master's hair, but Severus broke their kiss a second later.

"What's wrong?," Hermione asked, confused by what just happened.

"I dreamed about this," Severus explained in a whisper. "I dreamed about Weasley's hands all over you, about the kiss that you shared... I dreamed about it, and I was almost sure that it was happening for real."

Hermione frowned. "And what is it supposed to mean? That our dreams are still connected, even after all this time?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I know that I wanted to punch him in the face when I woke up..."

Hermione smiled weakly, and grabbed the collar of his robe to make him move closer to her breasts.

"What are you doing, Hermione?," he asked hoarsely, but didn't stop her from doing it.

"I have to feel you again...," she muttered, and put her lips on his, closing her eyes at the same time. They both moaned, and Severus closed his arms around her small body, without any care of the fact that her coat was still wet with snow. He pressed her against his chest, urging her to put herself on her tiptoes in order to reach his lips. The kiss that they exchanged was animal, full of desire and passion, and Severus helped Hermione to encircle his waist with her legs, which she did in a fluid movement. She bit his lower lip several times, but Severus didn't seem to care.

She was here, in his arms, two months later. Two months had passed, and it was almost like the last time that he had kissed her; her lips were soft as usual, and her scent was driving him crazy with needs; needs of her, needs of telling her that he had spent so many nights thinking about her, so many nights thinking that his life had lost his meaning the day she had left.

"I missed you so much," she breathed close to his lips before kissing him again.

"And I you," Severus whispered against her lips. "No one except me has the right to touch you, Hermione... No one..."

She nodded frantically, and moaned when she felt his erection against her core.

"Severus, I want you now...," she muttered next to his ear when she let go of his mouth, eager to feel him into her, filling her with his hard cock.

She got a groan in response, and Severus helped her to rid herself of her red coat which fell at their feet. To rid her of her tights was harder since he didn't want her to put her feet on the floor. He thought about taking his wand, but he opted for a quicker solution; with his right hand, he tore down the thin cloth, triggering a surprised look from the woman who was in his arms.

"I shall buy you another pair...," Severus said before kissing her intensely and pushing her panties aside.

Hermione thought that, even if she didn't want to wait, Severus might have waited a little bit longer before penetrating her; she couldn't have been more wrong. Severus quickly opened his robe and entered her straight away, making Hermione shout out in surprise. She hung on to his neck and increased her grip around his hips before

kissing him fervently.

"You are so tight, Hermione...," Severus whispered against her lips. "It is like you were made for me."

He started to move at a slow pace, enjoying every inch of her, every pulsation of her dripping core around his thick shaft. Hermione seemed to be unfulfilled by his pace, since she tried to move against him, to make him go faster.

"Don't be so impatient, witch," he said before capturing her lips once more, forbidding her from asking for what she wanted the most.

But at some point, Severus couldn't take it anymore; he strengthened his grip on the young woman's hips, and started to piston into her faster, moaning and groaning against her mouth. Their kisses were frenzied, erratic, and Severus could hear the noise that Hermione's back was doing against the door when he was penetrating her, each time harder than ever.

"I'm so close...," Hermione managed to say against her lover's lips.

At her words, Severus tried to increase his pace, but it was hard for him to do so; he was at his maximum already. He bowed his head in order to bite Hermione's neck, and she moaned hard when she felt his lips onto her sensitive skin.

They had had sex in the past, many times. But none of their sexual intercourse had been as erotic as this one. It was like having been separated during two months had unleashed their animal instincts, in a way.

Severus was amazed when he saw Hermione's hand sneak between their bodies and begin to caress her sensitive clitoris, while he was still thrusting into her.

"Come for me, my love, come...," he asked, aroused by the vision of this beautiful woman in his arms, on the verge of having the most powerful orgasm of her life.

Her eyes closed, Hermione let the wave of her own pleasure overwhelm her, and Severus followed her a few seconds later, moaning as his seed spilled into her womb.

They didn't move during what seemed to be hours, and eventually, Hermione released Severus' hips, and slid on the floor. Her legs were still weak, and Severus gently let her lean on him.

"Be careful," he muttered, and Hermione smiled at him while he was using a spell to clean their mess.

"As long as you're next to me, I have nothing to worry about," she admitted before putting herself on tiptoes and giving him a long kiss.

Awkwardly, Severus took her in his arms; the heat of the moment was gone. Now, they were just two people who had just reunited, and he knew that the road was long before they managed to trust each other completely. But something was clear in his mind: he loved her. He loved everything about her, from her smile when she was happy, to the scent of her hair. The last thing that he wanted right now was to lose her again. They both needed to make efforts, and he would do anything in his power to repair their relationship.

"Never leave me again...," Severus whispered in her ear, and he felt Hermione holding him tighter, burying her face in his chest.

"Never, never...," she repeated slowly, and Severus knew deep inside that he could at least trust her about this.