Chapter 29 - Contentment
Vezely's tears just as quickly subsided, and she realized ashamedly that she let them fall so freely. She said sardonic, her face still against his shoulder, "I am acting as a child."
"Even the eldest among us cries," Legolas said quietly, hoping she would not feel embarrassed, he looked upon her with a small smile of encouragement.
"It is not becoming for someone as myself," she said concerned, straightening her posture.
"I will not tell anyone," he replied chivalrously, hoping such a statement would amuse her. And it did, a smile cracked through her serious demeanor and she nodded to accept his promise.
They stood silently looking into each other's eyes, uncertain the right words to say for much had been left unspoken between them. They loved each other, this much was certain, but complications still plagued their relationship, and now in regards to Legolas's father and kin, new problems loomed on the horizon.
"Will you permit me to take you away from the city for a day?" Legolas inquired in a slightly too polite manner. He had desired since returning to Minas Tirith to take her on a day trip to the nearby forests of Ithilien, to be in the comfort of nature since the city felt cold to him.
"Away? Now?" She asked surprised for it was an unexpected request, but noting he was serious she agreed, "Alright, I permit you."
He offered her his arm and she slid her hand around it in order to be escorted from the prison, her eyes now dry but mind still feeling uncomfortable from the whole day spent locked in the cell. They were silent on the way to the stables, with Legolas mounting the horse first, offering Vezely a hand after. She had little trouble climbing up behind him this time, since she was no longer wearing the Gondorian dress as before but her Rhun-style trousers. She held onto him tighter than she needed to, still desiring his warmth against her and still wanting to breathe in his scent. Legolas closed his eyes briefly as she first did this, joyful to feel needed in such a way.
"Where are we going?" she asked, as they trotted out of the stables and into the streets to descend to the first level.
"To the forests of Ithilien," he said to her, turning his head to the side, "I desire to see them with my eyes and to walk amongst them with you."
"Why is that?" she immediately gauged there was extended purpose to this trip.
He smiled at her, realizing she was not one who gave much allowance for surprises, "You will see," he preferred to leave her without an answer.
The white horse ran swiftly through the plains crossing several streams and riverbeds, small glens and meadows, before coming closer to their destination. Vezely rested behind him, enjoying the fresh spring air on her face and the added warmth of the sun on her back. Being free of the cage she was in and the city that put her there did much to mend her prior discomfort. The horse's gallop slowed upon the edge of the forest before entering under the green canopy in a quickened trot.
Legolas instantly felt calmed once surrounded by trees, desiring even more to be amongst them while in the White City. He hoped to find a glen where they could spend the afternoon talking and thus had the horse follow a small stream to find its source. Vez noticed his shift in emotions, and his wonderment, as he looked around at the scenery as they rode. Perhaps, she thought, the forest soothed her internally as well, though she was not accustomed to being in them in Rhun.
They stopped in a place where their horse could graze for the day. Vezely dismounted, followed after by Legolas, who took her hand and guided her to the edge of the brook. "Much of this forest has been ravaged by decades of war, but there is still beauty here, waiting to be found," he said enchanted by their surroundings.
Vezely smiled at his wonderment, for he seemed as a joyful child in this place. "The war is over, perhaps it will not be so difficult to discover in the near future," she replied considering, stopping beside him.
He smiled back at her, telling her his plans, "I discussed with Aragorn the possibility of tending this forest back to life, after returning home for a time."
"You should, if it brings you joy," she said pleasantly, watching as a duo of birds flew past them chirping. A moment later she added regretfully, "I heard from Gandalf about Mirkwood, it is as I feared," in regards to much of it being burnt down.
Legolas looked upon her, his eyes full of conviction, "But not to be mourned. The Shadow has been rescinded. Mirkwood will again be as it was when it was called Greenwood the Great, when my father and grandfather entered under its leaves, and when I was a child able to run through it without fear."
"Time heals everything," Vezely said quietly, walking closer to the edge of the brook, wondering if she would ever truly be free of the Shadow which ruled her life for so long.
"It does," Legolas said softly, noting her contemplation, "But even a short amount of time can change everything. We have not known each other for very long, Vezely, but already our lives are changed by our meeting each other again."
Vezely looked down at the water, suddenly desiring to apologize for the change she brought to his life since it seemed sadly less beneficial than what their relationship had done for her. But he didn't let her despair and took her hand, pulling her along to walk with him as he talked about the Two Trees of Valinor, and tale of Thingol who was motivated in the Great Journey by a desire to see the light of these trees again, until he found contentment in the light of Melian the Maia's face. He had not told her a story from Elvish history for some time, and Vez realized how much she enjoyed listening to him, for he certainly had the gift of oration.
"...They were from different worlds, as we are, and they found contentment in each other," he said taking both her hands.
She was surprised how he turned this love story of old into tale about them, "Can we truly find contentment?" she asked skeptical. She let go of his hands to sit down on a nearby grassy knoll, stretching her legs out below her. She looked over at him, hoping he would sit beside her. He obliged, taking her hand in his once he sat, his eyes inquisitive as she asked concerned, "You said something, 'if you have known' about my past, then you would not have..." She stopped unsure how to word it.
"I would not have fallen in love with you," he replied carefully, knowing it was a painful thing to have said, "One cannot know what would have been."
"I know, and I do not wish to predict us being on divergent paths, but I do not want you to think I deceived you, that I intentionally hid my past from you or acted differently to gain only favorable opinion. It is true what Gandalf said, I am a good liar, and I spent the past eighty years often pretending to be someone else. On missions for the resistance, I would take on different names, different pasts. It was necessary to be anyone but myself. The Blue Wizards believed I would find myself coming West since I could no longer hide from my past or my blood. I had to be Vezely, but knew not who that was anymore."
"I could sense you did not," he said with a small smile, "And it only made me more curious."
"You tried so hard to figure me out," she smirked slightly in remembrance.
He looked upon her warmly, "And even now you remain an anomaly."
She laughed, "And you remain just as odd to me," she revealed, lightly brushing her fingertips across the palm of his hand.
"Do I?" he inquired playfully, liking the sensation of her touch, "How so?"
She remained looking at his palm while trailing her fingers across it, saying carefully, "You still look upon me without hate. You still touch me, knowing that..."
He grabbed her hand firmly, causing her to stop her speech and look up at him, "Vezely," he spoke her name concerned for her emotions.
"I am ashamed," she added worried, "That I can never be someone properly suited for you in the eyes of your father and kin, or in your eyes," he shook his head though knew he couldn't deny her words, "And it angered you to hear the details of my past."
"It did. I did not expect an Elf to be capable of such cruelty," he replied truthfully, "And that you seemed unaffected, even by the harm done to you."
"It is because I refuse to be destroyed by it," she said adamantly, "It only fuels my future, as it always has. I suppose that was what I wanted to convey in sharing those details. That I have changed because my cause has changed."
"I believe in your convictions. You were prepared to ruin your restored reputation and sacrifice your freedom to save Lady Shelbi from possible injustice," he said encouragingly, realizing still it surprised him.
Vez shook her head, denying its importance, "I felt responsible for the girl's fate. The man who almost killed her was after me. I further put her in harm's way because I refused to give them my coin."
"Maybe so," he said carefully, "But taking the blame was a selfless act." She appreciated his words though she did not desire praise. "You have already done some good in your life, Vezely, I know it will continue."
"I am glad you believe so," she said hopeful. "But it is more than my convictions that offers concern," adding, "You will continue to find constant reminders that I am not of your world. I cannot deny this part of my character nor can you deny that the culture I was raised in appears uncouth and unsettling to Elvish eyes. Only six years of my life were spent under the leaves of Mirkwood. It perhaps gives me advantage in understanding your viewpoint, and a realization that my own is far removed," she looked down, "I do not know if we can reconcile this, despite our love."
"You speak not of us, but of my kin," he said knowingly, lifting her chin up gently, "I will always try not to judge you by these standards again. And I will handle my father and all others who might question our relationship. I only ask you be yourself."
She smiled slightly, adding what she believed were his thoughts, "Myself, but on my best behavior."
"Perhaps you should not go out gambling in the middle of the night," he added with a raised eyebrow.
"Fair enough," she said, her smile beaming.
"It is good to see you smile," Legolas noted, glad to be back aside her, "My heart could not take your contempt."
"I never hated you. My anger only hid my sorrow for having disappointed you," she confessed quietly. "I did not intend for our talk to lead in the direction it did, or into matters that puts into question our union. Legolas," she was unsure how to broach the subject again, "About the other men."
He looked away uncomfortable by it being mentioned, "You do not need to speak of it again."
"I am sorry it makes you uncomfortable, but I need you to know," she said, gently turning his face to hers with the hand he held there, "I have never given my heart to anyone. I have never fallen in love. And I have never cared for another as I care for you," her eyes were full of fear, "I yet desire to be your partner. I want to sleep in your bed. I do not want you to believe I think any less of their importance because of my past indiscretions."
He noted her worry, he took her hand away from his face and held it to his chest, "You did not know of the custom of our people so it was wrong of me to have placed those expectations on you," he said sincerely.
"But they are expectations," she said carefully.
He could not deny that they were and that this jeopardized the sanctity of their union, for a marriage to be sanctioned each had to be free of any other involvements. Such acts were literally unheard of in Elvendom. Only in the province of Men did they exist and even there a woman with such involvements would not be marriageable. Legolas attempted not to let his worries seep through but she knew he was struggling with it.
She added concerned, "Perhaps as I suggested before, it is best not to divulge our relationship to those who arrive for the coronation. To keep it a secret so you can avoid such troubles and when I am gone, well," she did not finish this sentence for it pained her to think of leaving him.
"I am not a good liar as you are, Vezely. My father will know even if I deny it," he said steadily, "And I do not desire to deny it. These expectations matter not."
"You are not a good liar," she smirked, seeing through his last words. "I know you are concerned about your honor," she knew how much emphasis he had put on having a proper courtship with her, now perhaps he even thought all of it was for folly. She looked up at him, saying his thoughts, "We will not be accepted by your kin, at least not officially."
"Does it matter?" he asked.
"It does," Vezely queried, "Not for my own reputation, but for yours."
"Like I said," he tried to assure her, "I will handle my father and my kin."
She knew it was unresolved, but she nodded to show she accepted his mission. Yet he had not given his true thoughts as to her past. She thought out loud, asking quietly, "Do you believe me? That I hold our relationship as important..."
He quieted her with his fingertips, "I do. And I should not be jealous of those before but..."
She looked at him surprised, after he removed his fingers, she said, "I would not think you have any reason to be jealous," internally wondering what it would be like to make love with the one who also had her heart. She then added considering, "You have already proven yourself a formidable warrior."
He lifted his eyebrows, "That matters?"
"Of course," she said boldly, "At Helm's Deep, you certainly peaked my interest. I would not desire you as I do if it did not." He blushed noticeably, causing her to wonder, "Is it improper?"
"No," he stammered, "Just to speak so freely of one's desires as you do."
Vezely shook her head, "The lords and ladies of the West are too proper. Having to extensively court each other, finding every excuse not to..."
Before she could finish her sentence, he had pressed his lips lightly upon hers, gently kissing her, his hand lightly touching her jaw line. He pulled away to look upon her, she was surprised by his act, as he expected, but he was not expecting her to reciprocate as she did. She pulled him in by his collar, kissing him gently at first but with a building intensity. She leaned into him, gently pushing him onto his back with herself positioned on top of him. Her hands were cupping his face, his roamed down her back. She pulled her lips away, and looked lovingly upon him, the tips of their noses touching. He was surprised she had pushed him down on the grass like that, and that he did not want her to stop; his thoughts going against his convictions for a proper courtship.
With a coy smile she politely moved herself off of him, lying on her side, her head propped up on her elbow, knowing the previous position was a bit intrepid since their physical relations have been mild. Their faces were still close, his arm yet around her. She trailed her hand from his cheek to rest on his chest, running her fingers over his tunic's silver clasp, smiling at him as she did, "I am not apologizing for my boldness, for I wanted to lay down with you on the grass," she said curious of his reply.
"I would never ask for such an apology," he said, pulling her closer to him and she rested her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. As he looked above to the light streaming in through the canopy, he felt completely content as did she. He said quietly, "Vezely, we can find contentment." She nuzzled closer to him as a silent means of agreeing.
They spent the rest of the day cuddled next to each other, content to listen to the sounds of the forest and breathe the scent of its woods. They would ride back to Minas Tirith at dusk; darkness haven fallen on the city as they ascended back to the sixth level. Each felt renewed by the trip, as it also renewed their relationship. Vezely requested they return to Ithilien again before long, and for Legolas, there was nothing he wanted more.
"You do not have to accompany me," Vezely remarked as she walked briskly by Legolas's side through the marketplace to the Rhunic specialty shop she had visited several days prior. She was returning there to purchase sadar oil for the Variag ritual to be performed by Remi that afternoon. Adding, "Remi is not trustworthy, but I do not believe him dangerous."
Legolas had desired to go with Vezely and her former resistance partner to the outside fields when performing the ritual. He had no trust for the man around her, and tried to play it off as simple curiosity, "I think you would prefer I accompany you rather than one of Faramir's guards," noting his undoubtedly correct belief that the Steward wouldn't deem their party of two worthy of being unaccompanied.
"True," she smiled, stopping in front of the small shop. She was not wearing her Gondorian dress or headscarf as she was the other day; instead she was dressed in clothes she had purchased from there, with her crimson headscarf only loosely positioned as a hood that she removed once entering. The city was already starting to receive guests for the coronation, dressed in their own foreign garbs that she became less concerned about her contrary appearance.
Entering the shop, she was greeted by the same old woman, "May I help you?" She would not have recognized Vezely as the same young woman if not for her wearing her shop's garments. Her mouth was agape upon realizing two Elves were in her humble store.
"Good morning," Vez greeted politely, "I must apologize for the other day. I appeared as someone else," she said, noting her surprise.
"I had no idea," she stammered wide-eyed, "And I thought it curious to have a young Gondorian woman in my shop, but an Elf, now two Elves."
"I was raised in Rhun and will be returning there shortly," Vez replied calmly, hoping the old woman would ease from her shock, "I was glad to purchase clothing better suited to my tastes..."
Legolas began looking through the store, curious of its exotic trinkets, spices, and garments, as Vezely inquired about the items she needed for the ritual, which the shopkeeper did carry and she went to the back of the shop to retrieve what was needed.
"Did you find something interesting?" Vez asked, looking at Legolas around the narrow corner.
"This color would suit you," he said, pulling a plum colored garment from the rack, not dissimilar in style from what she was wearing, though the tunic was longer, and the material of a higher quality brocade and more detailed stitching.
She wondered what he was getting at, saying unimpressed with it, "That is not an everyday garment."
"You will need something of the sort for the coronation, will you not?" he explained, not realizing he was reminding her of something discomforting.
"Oh that," she remarked biting her lip, not having thought about the need to dress up for the event, nor liking the thought of doing so. The only time she really dressed up was in full battle gear. Somehow he was not surprised by her reaction.
"Luckily I have a vile left," the shopkeeper called, hurriedly returning to Vez's side with a glass vile of sadar oil in her hand, "When the vandals entered, they unfortunately broke most of my glass items. Now," she wanted to wait to give the price, "Will there be anything else I can help you with?"
Vez hesitated before adding, "And this," she went to quickly retrieve the plum-colored garment Legolas had pointed to, caving into her partner's suggestion.
"Ah, that is a special one, for a special occasion, and it will look lovely on you," the shopkeeper said politely.
Vez cared not for having the fashion approval of either the shopkeeper or Legolas, but figured she better have something of her own accord to wear at the coronation or else they might stick her into another Gondorian gown.
Legolas had a self-satisfied look on his face while leaving, liking how she acquiesced to his suggestion, though she would never admit to doing so. Vez preferred not to say anything regarding it as they returned to the horse to descend down to the second level prisons.
A/N: Lots of love to my reviewers and tumblr [vezely . tumblr . com] followers and submitters! Glad to hear people like some softness and hope this chapter feeds the need. Remi versus Legolas coming up!
