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Disclaimer: Is Lee getting chased by Seme's that want him as their Uke? No? Then I don't own Naruto.

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Title: Cherry Lotus

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"Why did he keep calling you Lee."

Part of Lee was surprised by the question. He expected something else, like why he was meeting with Gaara. Why did they act so familiar. But it was about his name and though he shouldn't, he still felt happy at hearing it.

"Because it is what I prefer." Lee decided to say, speaking honestly, "I love the name Sakura but...I absolutely hate it when I am called by that name."

Kakashi blinked in confusion. His brow furrowed before he slowly asked, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It is dumb, is it not? To feel such a way about a name... I have tried to push through but it still makes my skin crawl." Lee said, his polite smile more like a grimace now, "I promise you that Gaara has only known me for these past few weeks. There is nothing deeper. Gaara is...he is different from the others besides what you have seen. He has been shunned and feared since young. That is why he acts so close with me, because I do not fear him."

"I wasn't doubting you." Kakashi said, not looking at Lee this time, "I...trust you. I know you wouldn't betray Konoha."

Lee blinked, surprised and a little stunned. Warmth burst in his chest and he ducked his head, embarrassed by the dazed smile on his lips. It was one thing to think it, another to hear that Kakashi trusted him. Kakashi trusted him. But it made him wonder about the reason Kakashi asked. Why if not for the thought that he was a spy?

"Why Lee?" Kakashi suddenly asked, making Lee look back up. The older man had his face turned away but his only open eye was on him.

"It feels like me. Lee is me and I am Lee." Lee said, "You do not need to mind it though. I will still answer to Sakura. I-" Lee choked slightly, but it was a tiny slip and he hoped that Kakashi didn't notice, "will be Sakura."

Kakashi wouldn't know that he wasn't actually Sakura, that with every day that passed, he still felt like a demon worse than anything for stealing Sakura's body. Each time someone called Sakura's name, he was reminded of it. He was stealing a life that should be here instead of him. He was-

He was a monster for it. Worse, he was a broken monster with war and destruction in his head that would haunt him in his sleep and every silent waking moment.

Kakashi was staring at him again but Lee didn't notice until there was a hand on his head, slowly trailing down to cup his chin and make him look.

"You don't have to be Sakura, Lee." Kakashi said and Lee's heart stopped for a moment then began racing in his chest. His lips trembled before stretching into a brilliant smile, teeth and all.

Kakashi called his name.

"Would you call me by that name when we are alone?" Lee asked, his skin tingling where Kakashi was touching him. His stomach felt filled with butterflies again

"I'll do you one better." Kakashi said and Lee's heart skipped at what he could mean, "I just won't call you Sakura anymore."

Lee's eyes burned and he tried to control himself but he couldn't. He got up, just barely stopping himself from leaping across the table and walked the short length instead. Kakashi pushed his chair back slightly, about to stand as well but Lee got there first and wrapped his arms around Kakashi's neck. Lee closed his eyes, still trying not to cry and pressed as close as he could.

Kakashi froze for just a moment before wrapping his arms around Lee as well. He pulled Lee to him and Lee fell onto his lap but Kakashi didn't care. He was past thinking that he shouldn't, past thinking that he should pull away. He took instead, taking his chances when he could and now was one of them. He pressed his face against Lee's neck, inhaling deeply.

Lee bit his lip, his chest trembling. He knew he shouldn't be so happy. He should tell Kakashi that it was unnecessary, that he should keep calling him Sakura outside closed doors. It would be better in the long run for when Sakura 'woke up' from wherever she was in their shared body.

'Stop.' Inner suddenly said, her voice tight, 'Just stop. Take something for yourself, Lee! Let them call you by your name, let everyone do it! You-...you deserve it. You deserve so much...'

Lee bit his tongue, stopping his tears from falling. How unfair, it was like they were ganging up on him. But...

'Thank you.'

"Thank you" Lee said, pulling back just enough to see Kakashi's face. He did something daring and reached for Kakashi's mask himself. He hooked his fingers in the fabric, pulled it down, and pressed a kiss to Kakashi's cheek, "Thank you." he repeated, unable to think of anything else.

Kakashi's breath hitched and his hands tightened on Lee. He almost leaned his head down. He almost- but he stopped himself in time. He stopped denying himself his thoughts and even touches like the hugs or hand holding but...

but that was something else and he couldn't do that yet.

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Lee bid Kakashi and each dog goodbye after breakfast. He returned back to Sakura's home and changed into a clean workout outfit. He sat on Sakura's bed and tried to think. There was so much still to do. He had to become closer with Kabuto, see if the boy could be brought to their side. He still didn't know how he was going to do that. Kabuto wanted recognition...didn't he? He didn't know. But he was a big reason as to why the Fourth War was able to happen.

He had to find Jiraiya and get him to take Naruto on as a student. He didn't know how he was going to do that either. He could find Jiraiya but getting the Sannin to take on Naruto as a student? He didn't even know how Naruto did it the first time!

Then there was the invasion, Orochimaru, Sasuke, Suna, and even Gaara's part in the Sound and Suna invasion.

Lee groaned, rubbing hard at his face. Then he sighed and stood, heading down to the kitchen. He saw the note from last night and smiled a little, grabbing it so he could put it somewhere safe. Then he went out back to train.

If anything, he either thought better or was able to stop thinking completely when he trained. This time, he let his worries fade as he worked his stolen body, pushing it hard and upping his training weights again. He needed to get faster, faster than he was originally. He had no gates in Sakura's body to boost his speed or strength. He knew how to open them but he wouldn't put Sakura's body through that. He couldn't.

Lee bent his body and held back a flinch when his pink braid fell over his shoulder. He closed his eyes and flipped into a handstand, he did push ups like that, feeling the strain from all that weight on his arms. He grimaced but refused to use chakra to help his muscles.

He fell a lot, and by the time he could actually stay on his hands for a good amount of time, sweat was dripping from his face and coating his body like he just dipped into a river. His arms shook and pain radiated up them but he was determined to push through it.

'82, 83, 84...' Lee thought so he wouldn't have to hear Sakura's voice. He wanted to make it to 100, though he was sure if he put all of his tries together, he was getting closer to 300.

'Take a rest, Lee...' Inner murmured, 'Take a shower, or a bath. Maybe some relax time will make things better?'

Inner knew it wouldn't but she felt horrible. She couldn't do much besides look over memories over and over again. She could do everything with Lee's body but she couldn't affect the outside world. Still, she wouldn't change her situation.

Lee bit his lip but then nodded. He forced his way through the last ten push ups then slowly got back to his feet. His arms throbbed and Inner sent chakra through them to speed up the healing. He sighed softly and relaxed a little with the fading pain. Then he went back inside. Like Inner said, he took a bath to relax himself. He stayed in for a half hour and almost fell asleep before Inner whispered in his ear that she felt Shikamaru's approaching their door.

Lee blinked his tired eyes and lightly tapped his cheeks before getting out and quickly drying off. He put on a clean outfit then made his way downstairs just as there was a knock on his door. He opened it with a greeting on his tongue.

"Good morning, Shikamaru. What brings you to this home?" Lee asked, stepping back to allow Shikamaru in but Shikamaru shook his head and lifted his hand which was holding a large bag. It smelled like food and Lee's stomach tightened slightly at the reminder to eat. It was lunch time already.

"Join me for lunch?" Shikamaru asked, "I want to show you something."

Lee blinked in surprise then smiled, "I would love to." he said, quickly slipping on his shoes and reflexively grabbing his weapons pouch before closing the door behind him.

Shikamaru offered his hand and Lee felt his cheeks war. He took the hand before he could think better and didn't want to let go. Shikamaru's hand felt rough from their weapon handling and though his own hand were the same, it just felt different. He should let go, it wasn't helping his feelings at all but he really didn't want to.

Then he realized that Shikamaru was taking him to the Nara forest.

Lee stared wide eyed at the trees. They felt different compared to the ones outside the village. It made sense, the Nara Forest was made for the Nara's by the first Hokage. The trees loomed over them, blocking the sky except for small sections. It made the sparse light dance on their skin. Lee could hear the deer too, further away. He felt the urge to see them but held back. Hopefully he could see them another time. It was rare for an outsider to actually be able to see the Nara deer's.

Then the trees opened up to a clearing that took Lee's breath away. Wildflowers filled the clearing and where their weren't any, there was deep green grass. The clearing was open too, perfect for Shikamaru's favorite hobby of cloud watching. Lee could even hear the sound of water not too far away from them.

Lee relaxed, not even realizing that he'd still been tense.

Shikamaru hid a smile and lead Lee to a larger tree where a blanket laid. He set the food down on it then sat down, gently pulling Lee to do the same. He held back a chuckle as he watched Lee look around with awe in his eye. It was something he could watch forever. In fact, it was probably his favorite thing now.

Instead of breaking Lee from his looking, Shikamaru pulled out the food. He set everything down and grabbed what he knew Lee would like then made his own plate. When he was done, Lee finally stopped looking around and Shikamaru held up the plate he made for him. He was treated to a soft blush and a shy smile that made his heart skip.

Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck, feeling warm.

"So what's on your mind?" Shikamaru asked after a little while of eating.

"Hm?" Lee broke out of his thoughts, swallowing his food, "What do you mean, Shika?"

"You have that look again. You're thinking about what's going to happen, aren't you."

"How did you know?" Lee asked, surprised.

"Because I know you." Shikamaru said, not wanting to say that it was because he was always watching Lee whenever possible. That sounded too creepy and stalker-ish, though it was true. His gaze always went to Lee like the boy turned girl had his own gravity. It pulled him in but he wasn't trying to get away. "I'm always watching out for you."

Lee's heart skipped and he blushed, looking at the ground. A little smile curled his lips before he sighed and leaned against the tree. "You are right, I am thinking about what is to come. Jiraiya-sama is going to show up within the next few days if he is not here already. Last time Naruto became his student. I need to make that happen again but I do not know how it happened last time. There is also the mess I am in with Kakashi. The Oto-Suna invasion is coming during the third exam, which I need to figure out how to lessen. I need to get the training session with Kabuto to figure out how to get him on our side, and then there Sasuke whom I have to make sure is safe from Orochimaru-"

A thumb pressed gently against his lips, making him pause and blush again.

"You worry about so much." Shikamaru murmured, "Remember Lee, I'm here too."

Lee's lips were tingling and he swallowed hard.

"I'll get my dad to help. It's only logic that Orochimaru would try something during the third part of the exam. I'll keep an eye on Sasuke with you, two sets of eyes are better than one. Plus...if you asked, I know Gaara would too." Shikamaru said, fighting back a grimace. It was for Lee, so it didn't matter how much he didn't want Gaara near the boy, "As for the Sannin...if I ask around, he'll find out but I can still see if I can find out where he's most likely to be."

Lee stared at Shikamaru with wide eyes. Then his gaze gentled as Shikamaru kept on making his worries settle. He smiled, reaching up and taking Shikamaru's hand from his mouth so he could hold it.

It kept going through his mind, just how much he loved this boy. A sweet and courageous boy who'd turn into a man who never stopped looking out for those he considered his, and those he didn't.

"You do not need to do that." Lee murmured softly

"I do, but even if I didn't, I'd still want to. I want to help you, Lee." Shikamaru said, linking their fingers together, "Now, tell me about the mess with Hatake?"

Gods, how did Shikamaru make him feel like this so easily? Like everything will work out, like everything will be fine. Lee breathed out, then allowed himself a little moment. He pressed his cheek to Shikamaru's hand, knowing that if he tried to hug the boy, he'd want to kiss him. But Shikamaru turned his hand and cupped his cheek.

Lee shivered and let Shikamaru tilt his head up. Looking into those eyes...Lee swallowed hard again and closed his eyes for a moment.

Shikamaru had a way of looking at him, like he was the only one, like he mattered. It sent his heart racing and Lee made himself sit up, trying to keep his thoughts from going to sweetness.

"I was spending the night at Kakashi's apartment. He invited me over after finding out that I had been living alone for a few months and he did not want me to go home so late when there were foreign shinobi here." Lee felt like he needed to explain and blushed again because it wasn't like Shikamaru and him were together. His heart skipped at the thought and he pushed down his giddy feelings, "Gaara likes to visit me at night since he cannot sleep and I do not sleep. He found me last night and we chatted for a bit but..."

Now Lee was starting to slump. He couldn't believe that he'd gotten so lax as to not know when he was being watched! It didn't matter that he was 'safe' in Konoha!

Lee bit his lip and shook his head, "Gaara calls me by my name. He kept saying it and...and I did not realize...Kakashi was watching."

Shikamaru tensed, panicked, but not letting it show.

"He asked me why and I-...I thought he was going to call me a spy." Lee said and he reached out. Without a second of hesitation, Shikamaru grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Like he was saying it's okay and I'm here.

Lee shivered. It was a rare feeling.

"He did not though. He said he trusted me, knew that I was not a spy. So I told him that I liked being called Lee. That it feels like me. But what if-"

"Nothing's going to happen." Shikamaru quickly assured, "To anyone else, it's just a name. No one would think time travel and no one would think of you besides a passing thought at most if they knew you. You're safe unless you decide to tell them."

"I-...Kakashi said that he would call me Lee from now on too." Lee said and he felt so ashamed. "Am I selfish, for not rejecting that? To the world, I am Sakura. I look like Sakura. I am supposed to be Sakura. When I fade-"

"You won't fade!" Shikamaru suddenly shouted, making Lee jerk in surprise. He stared wide eyed at the boy.

Shikamaru was breathing slightly heavy, expression tense. He gripped Lee's hands before suddenly letting go and cupping Lee's face instead. "Never say that, You won't fade. I'll be damned if I let you just fade."

Lee's breath hitched and his eyes burned with un-shed tears. "But how could I not? Sakura will wake and-"

"I'll find you a body then!" Shikamaru interrupted him and his hands pressed a little harder, his fingers dug into his hair, "Whatever it takes! I can't- You can't-"

His hands were trembling...

"Please...don't leave me." Shikamaru finally whispered

Lee stared and he felt torn. He felt so happy but at the same time, Shikamaru wasn't really saying that to him was he...? He was saying this to someone who looked like Sakura. And that...that made him want to cry.

"Of course I will not. Until Sakura wakes up, I will be here-"

"That's not good enought! You are the one who needs to be here! Don't you get it?"

"I am happy you care so much for me but Sakura is amazing and you will-"

"But nothing, she's not you! You're the one I want. You're- you're the one I need."

"Y-you do not need me." Lee stuttered, his chest trembling as he began to cry.

"You-!" Shikamaru stopped then, instead of anger, he sounded desperate, "What can I do to make you believe? To make you fight to stay?"

"Shika, I am not worth it."

"You're worth everything!" Shikamaru said, "From the moment you told me who you really were, you were worth everything. From the moment you told me about the exams I decided."

"Decided...?" Lee asked, choosing what he thought was safer because hearing Shikamaru say that he was 'worth it' made his already fragile heart want to shatter and reform into something that was purely for Shikamaru.

"That I was willing to do anything to keep you safe. That I love you."

"You- you cannot mean that."

"Why not."

"I- I-..." Lee hiccuped then tried to pull away and cover his face. How could he say it was because he looked like Sakura? That the only reason he could possibly think of was that Shikamaru fell for Sakura and not him. No one ever loved him.

"Henge yourself." Shikamaru suddenly said, demanded, "It's because you don't think I know what you look like under all of this, right? I'll say it over and over again. I love you. I fell for you, your personality, your constant need to protect others, even you way of speaking. It drives me crazy, I love it all!"

Lee cried harder, because his heart felt like it was overflowing and all he could do to keep it from bursting was cry.

It was possible. Shikamaru loved him, could love him, but there was something else too. So Lee did as Shikamaru said and henged to what he looked like in the future's past.

There was no smoke, just a blink and instead of Sakura's body, it was his own. Even sitting, he was looking down at Shikamaru instead of up. His now black hair was still tied into a braid but it went all the way down his back and his fringe swept across his forehead, ending just above his black shadowed eyes. His skin was pale, almost grey from lack of sleep and no medical chakra to help him heal. He probably looked even worse because he was still crying.

He was in the ANBU uniform and everywhere it didn't cover were scars. Some deep and still angry looking, others faded to the point they blended with his skin. Bandages still covered his hands to his elbows but they were dingy and grey.

"Do you see, Shika?" Lee whispered and he heard his own voice, deeper with age but soft and tired, "It is not that you cannot, but that you should not. You-...you deserve someone who is not broken."

Shikamaru stood and Lee was looking up once again. He didn't move, he just stared and willed Shikamaru to realize that he deserved so much better. He deserved someone who was actually his age even if age didn't matter but more importantly, not haunted. A girl or boy who wouldn't hurt him or bring him danger just by being near him.

"I have only one question." Shikamaru said, "Lee, do you love me?"

Lee jerked and his throat tightened. He should lie, say that no, he didn't, but he couldn't. He did love Shikamaru. He loved Shikamaru so much. Future's past and present version.

"That does not ma-"

"Do you love me too." Shikamaru repeated and that tone was back, like he was in pain.

"..." Lee stared then slowly closed his eyes as he nodded, feeling horrible.

How dare he when he was stealing Sakura's life.

Hands took his face again and Lee dug his fingers into the ground, waiting. Though he didn't know what for.

"Lee..." Shikamaru whispered and Lee twitched, feeling Shikamaru's breath brush over lips, "Look at me, please."

Lee opened his eyes, looking without another thought. Black met brown then Lee felt a gentle pressure against his lips.

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