Chapter 29: Revelations
::Bella POV::
I was in a state of high anticipation for the rest of the day. All the kids in my class seemed to be getting more and more out of hand the closer we got to graduation. Most of the teachers had given up trying to get them to sit down and study for the exams that were next week, which meant the Eleventh of June was right around the corner. Now that I was looking at graduation from this close, it made me think about how much time had passed, and how many changes were about to happen. I was looking forward to having no school, but I also felt like I was about to come to a screeching halt. Where was I supposed to go from here?
My train of thought was broken when Angela came and sat beside me in my last class, Chemistry.
"So what are you doing this weekend?"
"Not to much. Why?"
"Well, I was thinking of having a study group on Saturday, just to help prepare, and I thought you would like to come!"
"Who all will be there?" I asked while eying Jessica and Lauren. She seemed to know what I meant and said,
"So far, it will just be me, Ben, and you. I don't think anyone else really cares at the moment..." As if to prove her point, Mike ran by chasing Tyler with a Twizzler and he hit both of us on the head with it as he passed by.
"That actually sounds good. What time do you want me to come over?"
"I'll call you, okay?" After that was settled, I watched the clock and tapped my fingers waiting on the bell to ring. When it finally did I was the first out of my seat and I made my way swiftly through the halls and to my truck. As soon as it was started I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket and I answered it quickly.
"Just come on over, Bella! Everything is ready!" I told her I would be there soon as I headed that way. On the drive over, I thought about the one thing I hadn't thought about at all... Edward. He was bound to be there today... And I hadn't had anytime whatsoever to process the things he had said, let alone deal with them. I remembered the conversation we had in this truck the night before and I felt myself getting chill bumps. He said he loved me...
But what sense did that make? If you loved someone, you didn't leave them all of the sudden for no reason, right after you promised you wouldn't ever... I felt tears springing in my eyes and I tried to blink them away quickly. As futile as it was, I didn't want to shed any more tears over him. I knew I would, but no more then necessary. I was not sure I was going to be able to do this...
I
needed a Plan. I thought it would be best if I just pretended nothing
happened at all. So what if he 'loves' me. It's obviously not as much
as I love him, and I could never put myself in a situation to get
hurt that much ever again. With Jake, I had nothing to worry about.
With Edward... I had to keep my guard up. I could never again let him
know how much power he has over me... The thought of seeing him so
soon had me stopped halfway along the Cullen's driveway. I sat in
silence for a minute, contemplating backing out before my phone rang.
"What, Alice?"
"Don't make me come get you and drag you in here! Listen, he isn't here, okay? Get up to the house, everything will be fine! Come on!"
"Fine! I'm coming!" I gave in and sped up to the house. When I made it inside I asked, "So, he isn't here?"
"Nope, he is out and will be back later this evening. I am planning on having you gone before he gets here, but Bella, you have to remember there are no secrets with Edward. Sooner or latter, he will find out. You need to stop worrying about the things you can't change, and worry about the things you can. Like your hair... What are you going for, child? Have you ever heard of a hair cut? Or at least some layers."
As she pulled me up the stairs to her bedroom I picked up a stray lock of my hair and said, "I kinda like my hair long..."
"Well, the length is okay, but you need it to frame your face not hide it. And we could always try some bangs..." She had sat me down at a huge vanity in her bathroom and had me facing the mirror as she played with my hair, trying to decide what would look best.
"No, no bangs. Layers, yes. Frame, fine. Bangs, no."
"Alright! You win, but I have final say in what you get to wear!" I was going to argue but she gasped and asked, "What is this?" She was pointing right at the bite mark Jake must have left this morning... I had forgotten about it since my hair kept it covered and she said, "I'm sure I can find something to cover it with."
"No, I don't want to cover it. I don't mind, it's just a hickey." I felt like I had been marked by Jake as his and I didn't want to hide it.
"Okay, If you say so." She changed the subject and asked, "Where are you going again? It's really fuzzy, if you know what I mean?"
Oh yeah. "Well, uh... I actually have a date. With Jake. I wanted to ya know..." I looked down at my hands and twisted my pearl ring back and forth a little, "Look... Pretty? I don't know..." Alice slid in the bench seat next to me and said,
"Bella, you are pretty. You don't need me to help you with that. But I can defiantly help you find something nice to wear." I smiled and asked,
"Do you have anything that will fit me?"
"Oh yes. Come with me." She took my hand and led me down the hall and to another room I hadn't been in before. "This is my second closet. It's for all the clothes I buy for other people, since I only have room for some of my clothes in my first closet." When she opened a door I expected to walk in to a bedroom, but the room was a closet. I looked around at all the drawers and shelves lining the walls along with rows and rows of clothes folded and on hangers. Everything was separated and Alice seemed to know exactly where she was going as she led me through a maze of clothes and shoes and handbags. I felt like I was in a small boutique!
"Now this is a walk in closet." I said appreciatively.
"Yes, I have to have a lot of room! Okay, here are your clothes!" I looked at a large selection and questioned,
"My clothes?"
"Yes, these are all the clothes I have bought for you! When I go shopping I will always picture what someone would look like in something, and if I like it, I get it! Sometimes when I would miss you a lot, I would go shopping for you and it would make me feel a little better seeing you dressed up instead of so..." She stopped and moved on quickly. "But before we do anything else, we have to know what you are going to wear! What were you thinking? Dress? Skirt?"
"Um, dress, I think. Nothing fancy, just nice and casual. Light wight, but not overly showy. I'm going for pretty, not hooker."
"Got it. That would mean no stripper boots, and I guess you won't be needing the double sided tape, then?" She smiled and I gave her a mean look. "Just kidding. See if there is anything you like! It is all your size, and I am pretty sure you'll look great in any of it!"
I decided to go for it and I was actually happy with what I found. Anything I thought might be an option I pulled off the rack and handed it to Alice, while she perused quickly and picked out a few also. When I was done I was surprised to see I had picked out about seven or so dresses and I exclaimed, "Alice! I can't believe you bought all of this!"
"Well, at least it's finally being used! Come on, you need to try these on!" She let me to a corner where there stood a room divider that was obviously used to change behind. When I was on the other side, I stripped down to my undies and slipped into the first dress Alice handed me. When it was on I walked out to the mirror so we could both look at it from all angles.
This was a sleeveless white dress with a few bright flowers adorning the bottom with a scrunchy top. I had to keep pulling it up a little, since my cleavage wasn't large enough to hold it all the way on. I wasn't sure about this one and I looked to Alice to see her looking at something I couldn't see. She said,
"Nope, not this one. You will end up spilling something on it, I am sure. Try this one!" She threw me another one and I quickly switched and walked back out to the mirror.
I was now in a topaz colored dress that had little white beads sewn into a small design around the 'v' neckline. It was a really thin material, and it seemed to be skin tight. I could feel it hugging my hips and butt and thighs a little too snugly, even though it was the right size. "I think this one is too tight."
"It's not what you are looking for. Try this!"
I caught a purple one that was made of a very soft cotton. It had a collar at the neck but was made to lay open, exposing the neck and collarbone and a little amount of cleavage. It came almost to my knees and when I spun around in front of the mirror I decided I liked the way it fit. It had small sleeves and two small pockets (just for show, not for use) at my waist line. I told Alice I liked it so she draped it over the divider and gave me another to try on.
I was now in a black and white candy striped spaghetti-strapped dress. It was cute, but kind of plain, and it billowed out at the bottom, like it could get caught and blown up in a breeze. Alice made a face like she had smelled something foul, and I shook my head. This wasn't the one.
The fifth dress I tried on was a light pink shade with a little black ribbon tied in a bow to the side around the middle. It had a bit of a plunging neckline, but the sleeves and the fit were comfortable. This one was put with the purple one and I was already putting on the next one.
This was a bright one, with lots of colors. It had a built in undershirt at the top and it was made to look like a shirt and bottom had been sewn together. Both Alice and I decided I was going on a date, not to a circus. This one was thrown in the floor while Alice said, "I don't even remember why I bought that!" And forgotten.
When she handed me another dress I said, "Okay, last one!"
When I first put it on, I noted the dress itself felt... Sexy. It was silky and forest green. It made me want to go into the woods with Jake... White lace peaked out from the hems and some was also filling the gap between my breasts were the neckline ended, covering what would have been exposed but was now hidden behind the almost diaphanous material. That added a nice feminine touch and I loved the feel of it on. It hugged my curves perfectly, and as I ran my hands along my waist and stomach I could almost see what this would make Jake do. Before I had even stepped out to the mirror Alice said,
"This is the one."
"How do you know, you haven't seen it yet?"
"I knew it was the one before you tried it on."
I stepped out and said, "You know I would pick this one?" She nodded. "Then why did you make me try on all those others?"
"What? Did you not have fun?"
"Well, yes. But I mean, it's already after Five, I need to get a move on!"
"Alright, well slip that off and lets go get the rest of you ready!" I hurriedly dressed in my clothes as I head Alice say,
"I'm going to go get you some shoes to wear with this really quick, but feel free to look around!" I heard the swoosh of air and then she was gone. Once my shoes were on I walked over to a huge dresser and opened the first drawer out of curiosity.
It was full lingerie. I gasped and slammed it shut really quickly, before I slowly opened it again. I carefully picked up one with the tips of my fingers and gasped. Was it supposed to cover anything?
It was black and red and had white fluff lining it. I held it up by the straps and gave it a confused look. The lace was very much see through and the silky parts seemed to small to properly cover anything. Right when I picked up another garment Alice said from behind me,
"I hope you aren't thinking of wearing that!" I jumped like I had been caught with my hand in the cookie jar and I turned around. She asked, "Have you ever worn anything like this?" I shook my head no and quickly dropped what I was holding back in the drawer. "It is actually quite nice. All of this is new, so feel free to take something!" She started to leave and I followed. I didn't think I needed anything like that.
After we had my outfit decided upon, she started with my feet and put them in a personal foot spa. While my feet were soaking she quickly picked out the perfectly matching nail polish to be applied to my fingers and toes. I was feeling great about everything until she unzipped a black pouch and pulled out a pair of scissors. I felt a little trepidation and said,
"Do you think we need to cut my hair? I think it's fine..."
"Shh, you are getting a hair cut!" I didn't say anything else, I just let Alice show me what she wanted to do. I was enjoying the foot spa and the feeling of her cold hands running through my hair kept reminding me of Jake and how he rubs my head... I was about to fall asleep sitting there when someone knocked at the door. Alice said, "Rose!" and quickly opened the door for her. I was immediately sitting up straight and paying attention.
"Having fun?" Alice answered her automatically but I was too caught up looking at Rosalie's eyes through the mirror to really hear her. She was staring dead at me. It wasn't a threatening or even a mean look. She was just.... Looking. She looked as beautiful as she always has. My eyes shifted away first. I was shocked when she came over to the vanity and faced me. She picked up the nail polish and asked, "Is this your color?" I said,
"Yeah," trying not to sound nervous. She shook the bottle lightly and walked over to where my right hand was resting and leaned over it. She carefully opened the bottle and then smoothly painted my index fingernail in three strokes. When she was done and moved on the the next one and said,
"Well, Bella, I'm just going to come right out and ask it..."
"Rosalie! Shh!" Alice snapped. I looked between them, trying to understand and said,
"No, it's okay... What do you want to know?"
"I want to know how you feel, really feel, about Edward."
"Why would you want to know that?" I asked. That was personal...
"Because no one else knows what to think. I guess you can say I'm just curious."
I thought about that for a second and said, "Well, why don't you ask Alice? I'm sure she knows."
Hesitantly, Alice said, "That's not true. Lately, everything I see with you is blurry. A lot of times, I don't see anything at all. And besides, I can only see your decisions and the results, not what goes on in your head. That's Edward's job. So I think Rose is right when she says no one knows what you are thinking."
"Oh." I really didn't know what to say to that. I was trying to think of something to say... A way to explain... But I just kept feeling like I would be talking to Edward inadvertently, and my Plan to act like nothing was wrong would go right out the window. "To be honest, I don't really know how I feel. I'm really confused."
"Well that sure cleared everything up." Rosalie said sarcastically.
"Don't be mean, Rose." Alice said.
"No, she's right. It doesn't clear anything up. The only thing I really know for sure is that I have someone who loves me, and I love him. I do still love Edward, and I think I always will, even though parts of me I wish I didn't... But I don't think I could ever risk getting hurt like that again..."
"And what about this new guy? Who's to say he won't hurt you?" I felt all my defenses raise to full mast and I shot off,
"He won't! Jake would never leave me." Without remembering what I was saying would be heard by Edward eventually. "He loves me."
"Be that as it may, you never know what could happen. You have really nice nails." She said as she switched and started painting the nails on my left hand. The sudden change in topic had me a little confused so I didn't say anything as I tried to clam down my thumping heart and shaking legs. Even tough my feet were still soaking in warm water, it might as well have been ice cold. I was so caught up in my conversation with Rosalie that I didn't even watch as Alice quickly but efficiently cut my hair into a better shape until she said,
"Done!" My eyes snapped to the mirror and I felt relieved. It was nothing major. My hair was still the same length (minus some dead ends) but the sides fathered out around my face and I could tell it did look better. I swallowed and said,
"Wow, Alice! It looks great, really." She finished styling it right when Rosalie was done with my nails. Alice tried engage us in conversation several times as she removed my feet from the spa and toweled them off, but I wasn't paying much attention. Rosalie was still watching me like she was waiting for something and finally I couldn't take it,
"Just spit it out. I know you have more questions, and I would rather get it all out of the way now. Just say it." Alice had paused with the paint brush a few inches from my foot and looked like she was watching something we couldn't see. She gave Rosalie a look and then quickly slid the bottle of polish under the brush with her other hand to catch a drop that was falling.
"Okay. I still don't understand you. You say you love this little boy, yet you wear the ring he gave you on the wrong finger! Why is that?"
"Why does it matter what finger I wear it on? He didn't ask me to marry him when he gave it to me, so it wasn't meant to be an engagement ring! We aren't trying to rush into something we're not ready for, and I am in no place emotionally to even think about getting married! Married!" I scoffed at the word. "What's the big deal about being married, anyway?"I asked. Alice started to say something but Rosalie cut her off.
"Marriage is a huge deal. It's making the biggest promise of all to the one person you will love for the rest of eternity. Can you honestly say you have ever felt a love like that?"
"Yes, I can!"
"With who? Who?" I shook my head as if I was trying to deny the question but she repeated, "WHO?" I jumped up and shouted at her,
"BOTH! I love them both!"
"Wrong! You can't be in love with two people! It's one or the other!"
"Do you think I don't know that? Do you think I wanted this to happen?"
"Well, you made your own decisions!" she snapped. I had more to say but Alice jumped up and said,
"Enough! Rosalie, it is not your place to say things like that! And Bella, she doesn't mean anything by it, you just have to take her with a grain of salt." She looked at Rosalie who finally huffed and said,
"Fine, I'll butt out. Sorry, Bella." She slid out of the room and I burst into tears. I covered my face and sobbed while I thought about what she said. Alice brought me tissues and I said,
"You think she's right?"
"What do you mean, sweetie?"
"I'm just reaping what I've sown! I'm getting what I asked for! I tried to salvage what little bit of a life I had left and even when I thought I was making the right choices, in the end it was all wrong!"
"No, it's not wrong! There are no right or wrong decisions, just different outcomes and consequences. Listen... Are you happy with him, honestly?"
"Yes." I answered through trying to dry my eyes.
"Then what is wrong about that? Don't dwell on what could have been or what you think you should have done. Be thankful for what you have, and don't let anyone take that away from you! You are an adult now, Bella, you can make up your own mind. If being with Jake makes you happy, go be with him. Let the pieces fall where they may."
"You don't think it's wrong that I am with him? Even though I'm not over..." I let my sentence die...
"What I think doesn't matter here, honey. It's up to you. What do you think?" She sat me back down and continued to paint my toe nails and I thought out loud,
"I think with Jake, I am safe. I feel like he is getting the raw in of the deal because I am so messed up... But he doesn't seem to mind. With... Edward..." I looked into her golden eyes and felt like I was speaking to him for a moment, "Even if you do love me, you could leave me again..." I blinked and cleared my throat and said, "I mean, 'he.' Not 'you,' sorry."
"It's okay, I understood. Bella, may I make a suggestion?" I nodded and she said, "Lets pretend we weren't interrupted, and go back to getting you ready for your date, okay?"
"Even though I know I can't keep pretending forever, sure, why not." I still felt like there was a tornado whirling through my head, but I knew the only thing that would help me was the one thing I was trying to get ready for...
My toes where done in another minute and while they were drying she started pulling out little brushes and tubes and things. "What color should we do your eyes?"
"Um, I don't know, I never wear make up..." She didn't say anything and seemed to make up her mind and told me to close my eyes. I could feel my nerves getting the better of me again and I started worrying about how I would look when it was all finished. I didn't say anything though, because she was now shellacking something onto my lips. When she was done she turned my chair away from the mirror and handed me my dress and some black flip flops to go with it.
"Put this on then you can look in the mirror and see the whole package! I won't peak!" And she covered her eyes with her hand.
"Alice, it's okay. We are both girls..."
"Well, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but Edward can see what I have seen..." Oh, well in that case... I hurriedly slipped into the dress and shoes and said,
"Done!" She beamed at me when she looked up and turned me to look in the mirror. I was a little shocked at first, because I wasn't used to looking so... Nice. I was still nothing compared to Alice's beauty, but I didn't look as out of place standing next to her as I usually felt. My hair was perfect and even though I felt like the make up was a bit much, it looked good. My eyes were dark and smoky and my lips were full and slightly darker. My legs were really pale but it seemed to contrast nicely with the dark green material and nail polish. I was even happy with the shoes. I smiled at her and said,
"Really, Alice... Thank you so much." She laughed and said,
"Any time! Now just one last thing..." She reached for something on the vanity and when I saw her raising up a small bottle I said,
"No! No perfume! Trust me... I don't need it." She looked a little confused and I said quickly,
"Well, I need to go. Thanks again." I gathered up the clothes I had worn over as she said,
"No problem, and call me later, I want to know how it went!" I agreed and made my way down the stairs and through the house. I was almost to the front door when I heard a sharp intake of air, like someone had been startled. I heard a whisper right after and I turned and gasped when I saw Edward. He was standing in the doorway to the room where he piano is and he looked as perfect as ever. I said, "Hi..." and he took a second before saying,
"Good evening." I couldn't think of anything else to say as I stared into his eyes. He walked slowly into the room and closer to me and said, "You look... Spectacular." I looked down and then back up at him and felt my face heat up.
"Thank you..." He made his way over to were I stood, not even a foot from the front door. When he was within arms reach he stretched out his hand to brush back some of my hair. I froze but my heart rate doubled and when I felt his cold fingers tracing the love mark Jake left on my neck my eyes fluttered a little of their own accord. He traced an invisible line around it and asked,
"Why did you let him ruin you?" My eyes snapped to his and I tried to figure out how he knew... Alice warned me that he would always find out, but I hoped that he hadn't learned about that yet.
"H-How..." Was all I was able to form before he said,
"It's okay, you are still perfect to me." I was trying to wrap my head around what he had said when he suddenly came at me and I felt his frozen lips pressing against the sensitive skin on my neck. I gasped and stepped away, out of his reach. This was wrong. This was not what I wanted to happen.
I turned away fled from the house without a backward glance. I hopped in my truck and was soon spraying gravel as I slammed on the gas and fishtailed out of there. The clock on my dash read 6:23 and I hoped that Jake wouldn't mind if I showed up on my own instead of waiting for him to come get me. I drove with the windows down to try and air myself out. I was sure that now even my skin smelled like Edward, and that Jake would be able to tell.
I was pushing my truck to limit, driving as fast as I was. I could hear the roaring engine and I slowed down to relieve some of the stress. My hands were gripped so tightly to the wheel I was losing some feeling in my fingers. I cursed Edward for doing that and I cursed myself for not just leaving when I had the chance. I made it to Jake's before I really had time to get my head on straight and I tried my best to hold myself together. It helped that I knew I was about to see him and that everything would be okay when I was with him. I looked in the rear view mirror at my reflection and was a little glad that I still looked okay. I ran my hands over my hair and smoothed my dress and made sure there wasn't anything on my teeth. I decided wearing make up took way to much time and effort, and would be reserved for special occasions only. I grabbed my bag and dug around in the bottom before I gave up dumped it out in the seat and finally found what I was looking for; Germ X. I'd rather smell like antiseptic then vampire, thank you very much. After rubbing some on my hands I wiped some on my neck where Edward's lips had touched me...
Some of the emotions that I didn't have time to get to started to bubble up, but I shoved everything back down into an imaginary box and shut it. I would not let anything spoil this night with Jake. The clock now read 6:35 and I knew I couldn't wait any longer. With the lid fitted tightly on my personal Pandora's Box, I stepped out and adjusted myself then quickly made my way around to his back door.
When I passed by the kitchen window I heard loud laughter and I stopped as I tried to identify who it was. I defiantly heard Jake and another female. Instead of going to the door and knocking, I walked further into the back yard to Jake's garage and slid into the dark cover. I had thought it would just be us, and I didn't really want anyone else to see me dressed up like this, it was only meant for one person... I glanced out of the window and looked in the driveway at the car I somehow missed on my way in. I vaguely recognized it form somewhere, but I couldn't place it. I decided I would wait here and surprise him when he came out to get in his car, and hopefully by then I would know who the mystery woman was.
I'll admit I felt a little jealous at the thought of him hanging out with another girl, but I knew it was Jake and that he would never do anything wrong by me... Unlike myself, with Edward... Box. Lid. Shut. I blocked those thoughts and re-directed them down a new path.
I realized Charlie would be home by now and wondering where I was. I quickly called the house phone and left him a message telling him where I was and not to worry. Then I waited...
I was starting to get fidgety, standing in the dark like some crazy stalker, and wished for Jake to hurry up. Thankfully, I soon heard the laughter again and muffled words. I looked out of the window again and breathed a sigh of relief. It was Emily. She must have been helping him... I was glad I had kept my cool and not jumped to conclusions. This was just one more thing to show how much of a good guy he actually was. I felt my heart swell and when he stepped into sight it took all the will power I had left in me to keep from busting out of the door and hugging him as tight as I could. He gave her a quick hug before she got in her car and drove off. I was thankful he couldn't see the road from here, or my truck would have given me away.
After he watched her drive off, he turned and walked straight towards me and I noticed him twirling something in his fingers. It was one pink orchid. I noticed that with his quick steps he would be in front of me in about three seconds and I backed up until I bumped into the side of his car and I stayed there, propped up. When he opened the side door and the light flooded in I said the first thing I thought of, which was "Surprise!" He was defiantly startled but once he really looked at me I had the tremendous pleasure of watching his eyes pop and his mouth hang open slightly. After he had a moment to collect himself he cleared his throat and made his way over to me like a sleep walker.
He didn't say anything when he stood in front of me, hovering more like... He raised the single flower and handed it to me without a word. I sniffed it lightly and smile my thanks at him. There was so much I was bursting to say but nothing seemed to be able to make it's way out. That was fine with me, however, when Jake reminded me that there were plenty of other things you could do with lips, and kissed me. It was not a sexually heated kiss, or even a lust-filled one. It wasn't rushed or quick, it was rather slow and sweet. It was the sort of kiss that made you feel weak and dizzy. When he added a hand to my back and the other to my exposed neck, I involuntary moaned. That seemed to trigger something in him and he suddenly had me crushed between him and his car. I wrapped my arms around his waist and slid myself up against him as he deepened our kiss. After he had throughly claimed my mouth he began to pepper my face and neck with butterfly kisses and in between those he spoke the first words of the evening,
"Bella... You look... So amazing... Taste... So delicious... Love you..." His lips found mine again and he seemed to be confirming what he said without his words with a, "Mmmmmm!" rumbling from his throat. I kissed him back and answered with a "Ummhumm" of my own. He started to pull back but came in for one more kiss. When he released me once again I made a noise of protest and pushed up onto the tips of my toes and captured his lips for one more, still. When he finally detached me he had a familiar, one sided grin on his face and I asked,
"What are you smiling about?"
"Nothing." He took my free hand and led me to the house. While we were walking I said,
"Thanks again for the flower." He smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders so he could pull me in and plant a kiss on the top of my head. It was a sweet gesture and I was enjoying the feeling of being held even though we were walking. When we made it inside, I immediately breathed in the smell of garlic and other Italian spices wafting through the kitchen.
"Did you cook?" I asked, a little bemused.
"Well, kinda... Emily helped, and I well, I helped her..." I kissed his stubbly cheek and said,
"This is sweet, really. It's nice not having to cook."
"No problem. Here, sit..." He pulled out my chair and tucked it in for me, then went and made us both a plate. It was a simple Three Meat and Cheese Lasagna with garlic bread sticks and salad on the side. Jake sat right next to me, and we shared bites and traded touches throughout our delicious meal. The mis-matched candles illuminating gave everything a subtle romantic hint along with the single flower that was now in a vase in front of me.
"This is great, Jake, really. Nice and quite... Just what we needed." I could tell he felt the same. I tired to help with the dishes but he refused so I gave in. When that was done, he asked,
"Wanna go for a drive?" I shrugged and said,
"As long as I'm with you, I don't care where we go." He laughed and beckoned me over to where he stood, propped against the counter. I went and let him kiss me again before we headed back out to his car.
"Where are we going?" I asked when he was in and buckled and backing out of his driveway.
"I thought you didn't care?" he joked. "Nowhere in particular, is there somewhere you wanted to go?" I shook my head and scooted over so I could sit right next to him. He slid one hand onto my leg and squeezed lightly. His fingertips brushed against my bare knee and rubbed my leg slightly and shifted the fabric out of the way so he could feel my skin.
"I know I said so earlier, but you do look amazingly beautiful tonight. Where did you get the dress?" He sounded light and casual but I could the underlining tension in the question.
"Actually, Alice got it for me. She's the one who did all this..." I said, gesturing to myself. When he didn't say anything I continued, "She is happy for us, you know? She's glad I'm with you because she knows you make me... Better."
"I don't think so. They all want you for themselves. But I am not going to give you up." He stated firmly, and his hand squeezed my leg tightly. I rubbed his arm and said,
"Don't go thinking like that again. Why won't you just listen to me?"
"Do you love me?" he asked out of no where.
"Yes, I do." I replied without hesitation.
"And do you still love him?" I had to remind myself to keep breathing for a moment before I said, after only a slight pause,
"Unfortunately, I do still feel very... Attached." I guess being forced to talk about as much as I had been made it a little easier to say it. I felt a little better being able to finally confide that in him, but I also felt the pain it was causing him.
"See, I am listening. I hear what you are saying, and I know what you mean. I'm not stupid."
"I didn't say you were! I just don't understand why I have to keep trying to convince you that you are the one I want to be with! I'm here! I am right here!"
"Because you want to be, or because I asked you to be?" I looked at him in shock and asked quietly,
"Do you really not know the answer to that?" I slid closer to the passenger side door and pushed his hand off my leg. Even after everything, he still didn't believe that I wanted him, and I was running out of ideas on how to prove it. "What can I do to show you, once and for all, that I'm yours?" He answered without a moment of hesitation,
"Marry me." My mind came to a halt and I worked my mouth but nothing came out. I needed something to do so I looked out my window. I was so caught up in our conversation that I didn't notice we had stopped at the beach until he turned off the ignition and all that I was able to hear was our breathing and the crashing waves outside. I wasn't sure how to react to that and when he said, "Say something, Bella," the only thought I had was,
"Why?" and it slipped out before I could catch it. At first, I thought I had made him mad because he got out of the car, but he walked over to my door and opened it so I could get out. I looked up at him to gauge how he was doing, and he seemed to be completely in control.
"Come with me..." He took my hand and led me up the same trial we went up the day he brought me here and gave me his mother's ring. As we ascended, I looked out at the sea and watched as the last few rays of light disappeared. The darkening sky was crowded with menacing clouds and I even saw a bit of flashing light in the distance. While I wasn't looking, my foot caught on something and I lunged forward but Jake had a hold of me, so I thankfully didn't fall. Once he was sure I had my footing, he bent down and swept my legs out from under me and started carrying me.
"You don't have to carry me..." I said even as I wrapped my arms around his neck so he wouldn't put me down. He didn't even slow his steps as he continued right on his way as if he wasn't supporting another person in his arms. When he made it to the top he stopped and began to lower me to my feet. He let his hands wander over my body as he straightened up and said,
"Before I tell you why I think you should marry me... I want to know why you wouldn't. What would stop you?"
"Honestly, my Mom is one major factor. And my Dad wouldn't be to thrilled... He'd probably think I was pregnant..."
"But that's not what I mean... I don't care what other people think, and I know you don't either. I mean what causes you to clam up as soon as I even mention it? Like the other day in your truck... You just brushed it off... Is it something you don't want?"
"No, I do want to get married, some day... I just don't think now is the best time for me to be making those kind of promises. I need to be more stable, more mature. Don't you think?" My box was rattling and threatening to pop open. I focused on what he was saying...
"I think you should take all the time you need. But still, as far as the 'm' word goes... How do feel about that?" I groped in my mind for some legitimate response and raised my defenses a little.
"You know, you aren't even Eighteen yet, so this conversation is moot anyways..."
"You know I will be in a month! And we can use that time to 'be more stable' or whatever. We can get married on my birthday. I can't think of a better present then that..."
"Are you serious? One month... Where would we go?" He shrugged and said,
"My parents did a nice 'Justice of the Peace' thing. Unless you wanted something nicer..." He suggested but I said,
"No, actually, that sounds good. Something small. What would we wear?" While we were talking he began to pull me in closer and closer...
"It doesn't matter to me, as long as this is what you want..." I realized that despite everything he had working against him, he had won me over heart and soul. I nodded and tired to get to his lips as I admitted,
"I do. And you?"
"I do." He finally kissed me and made me feel whole again. I had returning thoughts of us making our own family, and of how I would get to have this for the rest of my life... I felt my chest filling with an excited pressure despite what my head was trying to tell me. He pulled me back and took my right hand. I was distracted when he touched the ring and asked,
"Can I see this?" I nodded and he took it off and looked at it. "I think... I should do this right..." He was suddenly kneeling in front of me and had both of his arms around me, pulling me down to him. "Isabella... Will you be my wife?" I lost my breath a little and gave a whisper of a "Yes" as he slid his mother's ring on my left ring finger. He pulled me the rest of the way down to him and kissed me as hard as he could. I ran my hands through his hair and held myself to him as tightly as I could. When he broke away I had a bit of a head rush and staggered into him.
"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I am. I feel... Great. Like I could do anything..." He smiled and said,
"Do you want to do something? Something fun?" I nodded and he asked, "Do you trust me?" I said 'yes' and he stood and took my hand and led me away from the edge and up a slight incline of land before he swept me up into his arms once again. "Don't be scared, okay?"
"Scared of wh...?" I didn't finish because he crushed his lips to mine then looked ahead and started running... Right at the edge. It clicked into place what he was going to do, but all that I had time to say was,
"Jake!" Before I felt him take a leap and as I buried my face into his shoulder I watched the edge of the cliff disappear as we free fell into the sea. Jake let out a "Woo!" of pleasure and I remembered right in time to take a breath. It was like being dunked into pool of freezing water, without having time to get used to it first. I clutched to Jake as the water engulfed us like he was my anchor. He held tightly onto me, and I could feel him working his legs to get us back up. I could feel my air supply getting low and I looked above me but could see only a watery dark blue color. Jake yanked me closer to him and found my mouth. I opened it for him without even thinking about it and found I could somewhat breath through him. Suddenly, we broke the surface and I took in as much air as I could while spitting out the salt water. I was still clutching to him for dear life while he casually backstroked us to the shore, which was surprisingly only about Twenty feet away.
When my I was about halfway out of the water I stood on my own and walked my self back to land. The tide was high now that the sun was gone and I was shivering badly. A wave crashed into me from behind and I stumbled forward. I onto the sand but Jake lifted me up and carried me out then sat me down on the sand. My flip flops had got lost along the way so I was also now barefoot. Jake was chuckling to himself and I said,
"Jacob, that was not funny! I thought we were going to die!" He snatched me close again and said,
"You know you liked it."
"No, I didn't! I'm cold and wet and now my dress is ruined..."
"So come on, lets go back and get you warmed up." He lifted me into his arms again and made his way to his car.
"Don't you ever get tired of carrying me?" I asked as I snuggled into his wet but warm embrace.
"Not even a little..." He put me in the car and hurried around. As I watched him I was suddenly reminded of the day he brought me here and gave me his ring, and how it had rained and we were both as soaked as we are now... And of what happened after... When he got in I said,
"Does this remind you of anything?" He said,
"What?" Instead of explaining I leaned over and kissed him. Before I could move myself closer he already had me lifted up and wrapped around his waist. Before our mouths met again he said,
"Oh yeah, I do remember..." His hands were all over me and despite the chill I was still feeling, I wanted nothing more then to take everything off and relive that moment from not that long ago... When my hand wandered in the direction it seemed to bring him back to his thoughts and he said, "Okay..." I stilled my rocking hips and wandering hands but I didn't move off him and he didn't ask me too.
"When are we going to get to be together again?" I asked. "I don't know how much more I can take..."
"I'll talk to Sam... But for now, there's not really anything I can do..." I sighed and burrowed into his neck. When I shivered again he said, "Okay, we need to go... I don't want you to get sick..." We didn't say much on the ride home. I could feel the weight of the ring resting on the different finger but it was nothing compared to the dam I was still blocking in my mind. I could feel the imaginary box pressing in on me like the water in the ocean. Jake questioned me, but I waved him away saying it was just a headache.
Once we were at his house and into dry clothes Jake brought me to his bed and laid me down. He started stroking my wet hair and rubbing my neck and back. I was more relaxed now then I had been all day. I pressed myself into his warm body and let my mind shut down for awhile.
A/N: Okay, so I did skip ahead in the "school time," I am just tired of working around it, so yeah, don't get mad at me but I moved that along a little bit. And I looked it up and, correct me if I am wrong, Jacob's birthday is July 3rd, 1990 and he's 17. Just wanted to get some facts straight! Please review! I re-wrote this thing twice before I ended up with the original one I wrote so please be honest and give me your thoughts. Thanks!
