Author's Notes: Hey guys! I just want to let you know that I might not be posting for a couple of weeks because I'm sick again. Which is horrible because I might get a solo in a choir song, and if I got it, I'd sing it at a national festival, which would be SO cool, and because I just hate being sick. But yeah, just so you know, and I leave you with this chapter. As always, enjoy and review, and join the first church of worship to margaritanightly. Best beta EVER.
…
"Aiko…" Haruka purred as she waltzed unceremoniously into Aiko's private chambers without even so much as a knock mere minutes after Daiki had left for the second day of negotiations. "I've heard startling rumors."
Aiko looked up from her embroidery that was normally hidden in a chest underneath her bed. She was working on a shirt for Daiki, as his birthday was in a month's time, and she needed to give him a present. She didn't have to, of course, but he had been so wonderful, and he was so wonderful, that he deserved one, even a present so humble as a shirt, embroidered by her own hands. Her heart nearly stopped when she saw the murderous, mocking glint in Haruka's eyes.
"What rumors?" she asked, trying to stop her voice from shaking, but her fear was unbearable. Haruka knew… she knew something, and Aiko didn't even know what it was that Haruka knew, but it couldn't possibly be good. She casually set aside her embroidery and rearranged her skirts, her hand resting on the hidden pocket in her dress and on the dagger she kept there.
Haruka's smile was dripping with bittersweet venom as she lowered herself onto the sofa next to the younger woman. Haruka's hands were freezing cold as they caressed Aiko's face, and she easily noted she was trembling. Her smile turned to a dark smirk. Her icy fingers gently ran over Aiko's hair, and then grasped a handful of her hair and yanked it back, chuckling when Aiko yelped.
"What are you doing, Haruka?" Aiko demanded, nearly choking with her fear. "Stop!"
"Oh, I don't think you're in any sort of position to make any sort of demands, my dear Aiko," Haruka purred, her grip on Aiko's hair tightening. "You were seen kissing Daiki, and rumor has it you spent the entire lunch with him yesterday! Why?" she hissed. "I told you to stay away from him! If I wasn't so loyal to you, I would believe that you are disloyal to me!"
"Let me go!" Aiko's fingers clenched down around Haruka's wrist. "You have no right to treat me this way!"
Haruka's palm cracked against Aiko's pale cheek, sending Aiko to the floor. "I have every right to treat you this way, you little whore," she snapped, reaching down to slap Aiko once more. "You will listen to every word I say and you will obey every word I say! Stay away from Daiki! Tell me why!"
"Stop!" Aiko tried to block Haruka's hands as Haruka started to pummel her with her fists. "Leave me alone!" she tried to fight back, but both of her thin wrists were captured by one of Haruka's hands, and Haruka used her other to continue smacking her.
"Tell me why!" Haruka demanded.
"I love him, just stop!" Aiko finally said, and the slaps and pain finally stopped. She opened her eyes to see Haruka crouching over her, breathing heavily.
"You've been planning with him," Haruka stated.
"No, I promise - !" Aiko tried to say, but she was cut off.
"Don't even try to lie," Haruka stood up and smoothed her hair, regarding the woman on the floor with cold fury. "Your time will come, Aiko, and you will be tortured with the rest of them. In fact, I will take great pleasure from your torture and your death. It will come, and it will come soon. Wait for it."
"Haruka, please," Aiko's eyes filled with tears as she felt herself losing her only friend ever. "Please, I never conspired with him. I can't help my feelings… I'll never speak to him again! Never! I'll tell him I hate him and that… oh, please! Don't go!" Aiko felt like a pathetic child, but she couldn't help her heart breaking. Tears began to stream down her face.
"You have betrayed me, Aiko," Haruka whispered, tears appearing in her eyes as well. "We are no longer friends."
Haruka left Aiko's rooms, closing the door with a soft click. Aiko, vision blurred by tears, stared after her, heart broken. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, and allowed herself bitter tears at her betrayal of the only person who had ever wanted to be her friend, and tears at herself for letting herself still love Haruka, even though she was evil and cruel.
Most of all, she cried for herself and her new loneliness.
…
It was late at night, and Tashi was mentally exhausted from the day's negotiations as he sat on the balcony of his apartments. Nearly eleven hours of work, and only half of one trade treaty had been finished. His hand was cramped and tired from working out complicated mathematical equations to figure out percentages and yearly interest rates, but he couldn't possibly sleep. His mind was still racing and reeling from the events of the past two days.
Fire Lord Zuko and Lady Katara were to be married. Their child would be born soon, and they would be married. They could be seen in the halls, sweetly kissing and holding hands as they walked. They were everything an affianced couple wanted to be. They hadn't fallen apart because of the pressure. They hadn't…
His confused thoughts were broken by the sound of the door to the bedroom opening, and his wife stepping out.
"Tashi, you need to come to bed," Liarae murmured as she yawned, rubbing her eyes. "Otherwise, I can't get any sleep either."
He smiled up at her as he gently tugged at her wrist and pulled her onto his lap. She curled up on him, her forehead against his neck, and he covered her with the light blanket he had brought with him. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.
"You were right," he whispered. "You were right."
"About what?" she asked sleepily. "But you should know I'm always right."
Tashi chuckled, running his hand up and down her side. "About the Fire Lord and Katara. They're engaged to be married. They managed to force the issue and the Senate has to accept it! The alliance has been signed and… and everything. You were right about them, and I'm sorry I didn't believe you or believe in you or anything."
Liarae smiled against his skin and then sat up. She kissed his lips briefly and brushed her fingers over his face. "I love you, Tashi, even though you're grouchy and cynical. That just gives me more room to be right," she murmured as she looked into his dark eyes. "I love you so much," she reiterated before kissing him again. "And I forgive you."
Tashi's heart melted as Liarae snuggled deeper into his embrace, having said what she needed to say. Because of the love of the amazing woman in his arms, he could find some sort of salvation from his hard-heartedness. He couldn't possibly be too evil of a man if a woman such as she would marry him.
…
Zuko couldn't help but yawn as he quickly donned his black sleeping clothes. He was exhausted from the day's negotiations, and his ears were still ringing from an argument that had broken out between one of Arnook's advisors and a particularly belligerent Earth Kingdom delegate over a clause in a trade treaty. His eyes hurt from going over the same words over and over again, trying to find phrases to amend so they would further benefit the Fire Nation, and all he wanted to do was sleep.
He turned around to face the beautiful goddess who had, for some reason, decided to inhabit his bed. She was sitting up, brushing out her gloriously thick hair, dressed in a nightgown of dark, rich green. Her eyes were closed as she fought off sleep as well, but a hint of a smile still played around her lips. He knew the feeling. He couldn't stop smiling either.
They were, after all, engaged to be married.
"I love you, Katara," he said, watching her brush her hair. When the longing grew to be too much, he climbed into bed next to her and stilled her hands. He took the comb from her hand and dropped it onto the covers and brushed his fingers through her hair.
"I love you, too," she murmured, leaning back against his chest, fully content to be at the mercy of his attentions as he ran his hands through her hair.
"You know," he started casually. "Aang really is supposed to sit by me. And yet…" he pointed out. "he continues to sit by Toph."
"Well," Katara yawned. "They are best friends." She suddenly sat up and looked around him. "You can't mean…"
Zuko innocently lifted his shoulders and dropped them. "I don't know."
Katara looked at him, and raised a brow, "Is Sifu Hotman jealous of Sifu T?"
At that, Zuko let out a low growl of a chuckle. "I already have the only Sifu I want right here." He nipped on her bare shoulder, a half-smile on his face.
To be truthful, Zuko was in awe of her. She was beautiful, hair down, dressed so simply, so wonderfully pregnant. He was lucky, he decided, to be born into a world that created every situation that led up to this moment. Everything else, he felt, was just preparation for this moment and this time in his life. It was all worth it, too.
Zuko kissed his wife-to-be, and then curl up in bed next to her, and there was nothing about the world that was lacking.
…
Early the next morning, Aiko awoke from terrible nightmares. Her hands immediately flew to her stomach, and then her legs, as if trying to erase some phantom pain that assaulted her in her sleep. Her cold fingers brushed through her tangled hair, and she sighed. No, Haruka had not come during the night to kill her. She had not been stabbed through her stomach with her own sword, and blood was not dripping down her legs. No one had stabbed her temple, and she was fine. She was whole and well and healthy.
If that was true, why couldn't she stop shaking?
She swung her legs over the side of the bed and let them dangle for a moment, and then stood up. She walked over to her wardrobe and considered an outfit for the day ahead. Dawn was several hours off, but she didn't believe she would find any more sleep. Perhaps a nap around noon would be possible, but she didn't think she could sleep in the menacing dark anymore. She quickly lit a few candles with what basic Firebending skill she did have and she thoroughly examined each corner in her bedchamber, as if expecting Haruka to appear out of thin air to kill her.
But that didn't happen, and Aiko picked a particularly stunning blue dress from her wardrobe. It was a happy color and was a beautiful dress, and she needed that to bolster her failing mood. She braided her hair simply, and walked over to the chair where she had thrown the dress she had worn the day before. From its pocket, she took her dagger. She would have taken her sword, too, but that would have been conspicuous and odd. Other than the guards, no one wore weapons openly in the palace.
Aiko picked up her black shawl and left her room, her lungs nearly dying for fresh air. She felt as though she was being hunted, and kept glancing over her shoulder whenever she felt eyes on her. It was usually just a servant or a guard posted outside his master's door, but it made her quicken her steps until she was in one of the public gardens. She finally was able to stand still and take deep breaths of cold, fresh air.
Why was she so afraid? Why did she allow Haruka such a foothold that the woman even invaded her dreams? Why did Haruka not believe her? Should she leave Daiki? Would Haruka take her back? Would Daiki ever forgive her if she did that? Why didn't she tell him she loved him? Did she love him? Would loving him make Haruka kill her? Was loving him worth the risk? Did he –
"Aiko?"
All of her thoughts came to a sudden stop, and she turned around, heart racing when she took in Daiki's rumpled appearance. By his red-rimmed eyes and the circles underneath them, he hadn't slept much either. His clothes were crumpled, indicating he'd fallen asleep in a chair from refusing to leave his work, even to do such a frivolous thing like sleep. She absorbed each and every little detail about him - his sharp jaw, his dark, kind eyes, his hair which was usually so neat but mussed at the moment, his broad shoulders – and tears came to her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks. With a half-sob, she covered her face and wished he'd just go away. She didn't want him to see her like this, she didn't want him to know that Haruka knew, she didn't want him to comfort her when all she wanted was for Haruka to be her friend again… she didn't want him to witness how terribly selfish and pathetic she was.
"Aiko, what's wrong?" he implored, moving to her immediately and running his hands over her hair. "What's wrong?" he asked once more, about to wrap his arms around her when she shoved him away. "Aiko?" He reached for her again, concerned, and this time, she didn't have the strength of will to push him away.
"Haruka knows," Aiko's voice was wobbly with emotion, but she held her sobs back, wiping away what tears had fallen down her face. "She heard about us at lunch. And she came to see me yesterday and she slapped me and told me to never see you, and then… and then when I told her that I…" she stopped herself before she finished that sentence.
She couldn't tell him like this. She didn't even deserve to love him, to have that privilege and honor. "She knew that we'd been planning something. Then she threatened to kill me and then left. I had a horrible nightmare about her," she admitted, looking up into his concerned face. "She stabbed me and beat me… I'm so afraid, Daiki, and I know I should be strong, I should be brave, but I just can't be! I'm terrified!" she shrieked.
Daiki's eyes were soft with compassion as he drew her close, leaning her head on his shoulder and rubbing his hands up and down her back in an attempt to soothe her. He should have never put her into this position. For all of her terrible qualities, Haruka had been Aiko's only friend, and he'd forced Aiko to give that up. He knew Haruka would have turned on Aiko eventually, but the thought that his involvement had hastened it broke his heart.
Aiko was one of the sweetest people he knew. She was innocent and giving and would never hurt another being of her own free will. There was so much love in her heart. If there was one woman who deserved happiness, it was Aiko. He wanted to make her happy, but all he had seemed to do so far was cause her fear and unhappiness.
Daiki held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. He resolved to find some way to protect her, even if it meant confessing his hiding of Aiko's crime and pleading for the Fire Lord to extend his protection to her.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should have never forced you to spy on her."
Aiko shook her head, wrapping her arms around his waist. "No, this isn't your fault. It's mine."
"I'm still sorry," he murmured. "I will protect you. Did you know that?" he asked her as he pulled away from their embrace just enough to look down in her beautiful eyes. "No one is going to hurt you, least of all my sister."
Aiko met his eyes and considered his words. She wanted to believe him, but she knew just how devious and clever Haruka was. She also knew what a proficient Firebender she was. Daiki… she most definitely didn't want him getting hurt on her account. But she knew – or at least guessed by his demeanor and tone – that he was more than willing to sacrifice himself for her safety. She moved her hands to his shoulders and raised herself onto her tiptoes to boldly kiss him.
"Thank you," she whispered against his lips and then kissed him once again.
Daiki smiled broadly, his hands resting at her waist. "No, thank you," he teased her.
Aiko chuckled weakly, appreciative of his ability to lift her spirits, even when they were so low. He bent his head to capture her lips firmly, pulling her close to his body. He needed to have her close… he needed to assure himself that she wasn't gone, and that, yes, it was within his power to protect her. He needed to delude himself, even just for a little bit. He could protect her. He would protect her.
He slowly pulled away and slipped his hands into hers.
"I love you."
Her admission was soft and tentative, and her voice was shaking with her fear of rejection, and he almost didn't hear it, but it nearly stopped his heart all the same.
"What did you say?" he asked in awe, searching her eyes.
Aiko shifted uncomfortably, looking down at their joined hands. She peeked back up at him, her soft eyes full of nervousness and fear. "I love you," she repeated a little louder than the first time. "I truly do, Daiki," she assured him. "You are… you are… I don't even know what you are, but I love you."
Daiki cupped her face and kissed her, uncertainly at first, but Aiko's hands crept up to his neck and held on, and his tentativeness turned to passion, and he embraced her tightly as they kissed under the moonlight.
…
The Fire palace's dungeons were dark and menacing, but by order of the new Fire Lord, they were kept in pristine condition. Several members of the staff were ordered to clean each cell and corridor once a week, and the guards posted there were as capable and alert as the guards posted outside of the Fire Lord's rooms. Keys to the cells were kept in the locked office of the Dungeon Supervisor.
The prisoners were given two sets of clothes a year, and two pairs of cheap shoes. They were allowed one bath a week in tepid water. The prison fare was simple, but filling – bread, meat and water – as the Fire Lord did not condone torture of any form. The true punishment of a dungeon, the Fire Lord was quoted as saying, was to never be allowed amongst others, never living life as one was accustomed to; the removal of familiarity was punishment enough.
It was in these dungeons that Azula, former Fire princess, had resided for the past six months. She was kept in solitary confinement, and the only human contact she ever received was when the cleaning staff cleaned her cell and when she had visitors. Visitors were rare for any prisoner kept in the Fire palace's dungeons – only political prisoners were kept in such a high-security prison – but she was lucky enough to receive a few.
Azula, bedraggled and pale, looked up when the door to her cell was opened. "Mai," she greeted tonelessly.
"Hello, Azula," the young noblewoman said in return. "I brought you something."
Azula took the small bundle of dried meat and fresh fruit eagerly and stuffed a slice of apple into her mouth, savoring the sweet juice. She didn't look up once at her former friend as she ate quickly, and still didn't make eye contact even when she had finished.
"So," Mai began. "Zuko and Katara are engaged to be married."
Azula shrugged nonchalantly.
"They seem to be making up for lost time, kissing everywhere, holding hands and everything. It's slightly nauseating," Mai admitted. "I'm jealous of them. They're so happy. Katara has that pregnant glow now. Zuko can't… he can't take his eyes off of her," she sighed, looking down at her hands. "They're a beautiful couple, though," she tried to defend her own feelings, though Azula gave no reaction whatsoever. "And I know Katara will be a good Fire Lady. Zuko has good taste, I suppose." Mai chuckled at herself.
"You love him." It was a statement, not a question.
Mai nodded. "I do… but everyday, it becomes less and less. Maybe someday I can approach Zuko as only a friend, but not yet. But… I know I wouldn't have been happy with him. He wouldn't have been happy either. He would have longed for Katara every moment, and when we tried to make an heir, I would know he was thinking of her. He would try to love me… he might have even came to love me, but for all of my wishing, he would never love me as much as he loves her."
The young noblewoman lowered herself onto the ground next to her friend. "How are you?"
"The food's alright."
"And the blankets I brought?"
"Keep the cold out."
"That's good," Mai said with a half-smile. "Ty Lee's here at the palace."
"Why?"
"Oh, it's Zuko's birthday in less than a week, and there'll be a party and a banquet. She's with the circus now. She ran off with the Kyoshi warriors, but got bored and went back to the circus. They'll be performing." Mai's next words were tentative and unsure. "Would you like me to bring her to see you?"
"Think my darling brother would mind?"
"Zuko doesn't refuse you visitors, you know that," Mai reminded her.
"Fine." Azula shrugged. She finally rolled her eyes. "Leave." There was no emotion in her voice. It was merely a command.
Mai hesitated, and then nodded. "Okay," she said. "Is there anything you need?"
Azula shook her head.
"Okay," Mai stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that, she left Azula alone once more.
The unemotional façade broke and Azula started to cry for all she'd done to her friends and to the world, for all she tried to be and for everything she was and for everything she could never be. And as she sobbed, she clutched the necklace she kept hidden underneath her shirt. It wasn't fancy, but it was the first gift she'd ever received that meant something to her because it was a gift from a woman she thought she'd never see again, and a woman who she thought had never loved her to begin with.
...
Author's Notes: I like Azula, personally, at least this side of her. I don't think she would go entirely crazy and stay in Crazy Town, but just have a breakdown and realize everything that she's done and all of that. Though I do like stories where Azula's insane, I kind of like this side of her. What do you think? And what do you think of all of the couple!love in this chapter? Hehe, I like it. But that could just be me. Remember, review, especially, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, quibbles, qualms and/or conundrums. I hope this is enough to tide you all over for a while, while I try and get better. Yes, yes, pity party all around.
