The Trainer
Chapter 29
Mike and Willow went to therapy with Dr. Grover at least once a week. It was intense and at times painful, but they were slowly building a better relationship. Hannah had had a mini stroke and Mike had spent another two days in the hospital with her; but this time, Willow was by their sides. It made it a bit more bearable; and gave Mike needed leverage when Hannah suggested moving her into one of those assisted living homes.
Once they got her home; it really tested Mike's patience. Hannah only seemed set on one thing and no one in the family agreed. Willow seemed to be able to get Hannah sidetracked; generally, with Lauren and off topic, giving Mike enough time to calm down so that he didn't lash out at his beloved but very ill daughter.
What Mike didn't have the heart to tell Hannah was that he had resigned his commission. It was the only scenario that made sense to him. He was using some banked time off. Andrea was aware of it and Willow knew and understood. Mike had a lot of mixed emotions in regards to retiring but he was confident in his decision. Tom understood the decision and understood Mike's anxieties about it. He had spent his entire adult life in public service and wasn't certain that he would be fulfilled without his work.
He had spoken with Doctor Grover about it privately. Her concern was that Hannah would feel that Mike would end up resenting her for having to retire and that was why she kept suggesting going into the assisted living facilities. It was hard to come up with an answer for that. He wanted to say that it would happen, but he couldn't. Mike did go into work to clean his office out and was shocked to see Miller knock on his door.
"Permission to enter?" Miller asked.
"Of course. I am a little shocked to see you here though. Thanks for taking Hannah out yesterday. She seemed…brighter afterwards." Mike mentioned. He had a feeling that Hannah was the reason Miller was there. Miller had walked into the office and sit down; immediately noticing the box that Mike was packing his personal effects into.
"Hannah is a total joy, but you already know that. Permission to speak freely, sir? This will be a lot easier if I have it." Miller asked.
"Go ahead." Mike told him and sat down in his desk chair.
"Sir, Hannah mentioned last night that she is turning eighteen soon?" Miller asked.
"Yes, later this summer." Mike stated. He knew what Miller was going to say and it hurt.
"Sir, she is planning on signing herself into one of those facilities once she does. She doesn't want to feel like she is a burden to anyone but especially you." Miller explained.
"What'd you tell her?" Mike asked.
"I told her that I was certain that you didn't see her as a burden, that you just got her back and I couldn't foresee you liking her going into one of those places. Sir, to be completely frank and honest; I don't think Hannah insisting on this is about you resenting her. She knows with every stroke and every seizure, she is declining. She knows that her chances of growing older is virtually nil. I don't think she wants you to have to care for her if she becomes completely disabled. Now, she can take herself to the bathroom, feed herself, live a semi-normal life. When this progresses; she doesn't want you to see her like that. Or Willow because she knows the two of you will blame yourselves and potentially each other." Miller answered.
"I have few options where Hannah is concerned. I can quietly, without her knowledge, have her declared incompetent. In doing that, I would make all of Hannah's legal, financial and business decisions. In time, probably, her personal decisions as well. I would dictate how she spent her money, where she lived, and what she did on a daily basis. I like being in control and it has served my career well, but it does not serve me well at home." Mike explained.
"You do have another option. Let her go into one of those places. It seems cruel, but absence might make the heart grow fonder. If she wasn't able to see her family and friends on a daily basis like she does now; she might come home." Miller told him.
"I hate that idea, but you might be right. The one that Hannah prefers is an hour away. It has gotten excellent marks in patient care and has activities that Hannah would enjoy. My concern with your theory is; I know my girl. She is selfless. I could put her in there and away from friends and family. She might like it because she would see it as a way to help those little old people that have no one. Hannah has people that love her. Lots of people. The biggie is, I don't want to have an argument with Hannah due to her health. It might upset her." Mike agreed.
"I can understand that, sir. She had lots of plans, but she doesn't want you to have to dedicate so much time caring for her when you have other kids and such. She is afraid that Andrea and the others will end up resenting her." Miller told him as he stood up to leave.
"Thanks, Miller. I do appreciate your honesty and the fact that despite Hannah's needs, you still make a point to take her out and allow her to be a typical seventeen-year-old. She needs that. Most young men your age would run the other way." Mike commented. At Miller's age, Mike would have not befriended, let alone dated a girl like Hannah. It was a brave thing to do.
"Hannah is a really sweet person. The way I look at it, we are all one head injury away from where she's at. One car accident, one injury to a completely different future. Hannah is a bit of an attitude check. But, I will not be taking her back to a puppy pound. That was a bad idea." Miller admitted.
"I could have warned you of that. She loves animals. I have been tempted to let her pick one out." Mike remarked.
"She has her eye on a German Shepherd puppy named Lucy. I told her if she went into one of those places, she couldn't have a dog." Miller explained. Mike handed him a pen and paper.
"Write the address down. I might just go find Lucy. I am not above using a dog to keep Hannah at home." Mike told him. Miller wrote the address down with a smile. After he left, Mike decided to call Andrea to tell her what he wanted to do.
"Hey, babe. How are things?" Mike asked.
"Going. Lauren is fussy today. Hannah is the only one who can appease her. What's going on?" Andrea asked.
"Miller was just here. He told me…are you where you can talk?" Mike asked.
"Yep. Go ahead." Andrea told him.
"He told me that Hannah planned on putting herself into one of those places when she turned eighteen. The only way I can stop that is to have her declared incompetent. I don't want to do that. Or, he suggested that I could let her go and she would end up missing us and want to come back." Mike stated.
"But, its Hannah. She would feel sorry for those people and stay on to help them." Andrea commented.
"My exact thought. He did make the mistake of taking her to a dog pound. She has a puppy spotted." Mike told her.
"I am shocked that they didn't just show up with it. What is it?" Andrea asked.
"German Shepherd. Named Lucy. It would be a good…" Mike started.
"Go, Mike. Get the puppy. It'll be good for Hannah and those are good dogs." Andrea ordered.
"Yes, ma'am. You were reading my mind." Mike joked.
"No, I am just busy and didn't have time to listen to you beat around the bush. I knew what you were getting at as soon as you said Miller took her to the pound. Might hurry. Those tend to be kill shelters." Andrea explained.
"Alright. I love you." Mike told her.
"I love you too. Get done, get that puppy and get home. Maybe you can appease your youngest. Hannah needs a nap, but Lauren is not going for it." Andrea told him.
"Yes, ma'am." Mike told her before hanging up.
Mike finished packing the office up and carried the box to his truck. He still had some things to finish up and a retirement ceremony to attend but it felt right. He needed to be home to take care of his sick child, fix his relationship with Willow, bond with MJ, and try to make Lauren happy. Tommy and Annika also needed some attention and Andrea could use help. The drive to the pound took a few minutes and fortunately Lucy was still alive. Mike immediately signed the paperwork and was able to take the dog home with him. She was purebred and had a very sweet nature. Mike knew that she would be a perfect dog for his disabled daughter as well as his young kids. He was able to purchase a dog bed, along with toys, puppy pads, and chow at the pound and made his way home.
When he walked in with the puppy in his arms, Hannah was laying on the couch with Lauren on her chest. The baby was crying, and Hannah was softly humming to her and didn't see the puppy. Mike walked closer and knelt next to Hannah.
"Trade you?" Mike asked; pointing at the baby. As soon as Hannah saw the puppy she smiled.
"Lucy? Eric must have told you." Hannah asked as Mike put the puppy down and took Lauren who become even louder.
"He did. I just had to go get her." Mike explained as he stood up and began rocking Lauren back and forth.
"She's so sweet!" Hannah told him as the puppy began licking her. Mike noticed that she was using her right hand to pet the dog. She had stopped using it during her strokes. Maybe the puppy was a perfect idea.
"Like her owner. I have food, a dog bed and other things in my truck." Mike explained. Hannah had a huge grin on her face and was laughing. Another rare sound. Even Lauren had stopped fussing and was watching her sister. The younger kids were outside with Andrea, Willow was training at her new job and Katherine was at work.
"Is this supposed to be a bribe to not go to that facility?" Hannah asked. She was entirely too perceptive. Mike sat down next to her on the couch and thought for a minute.
"Not entirely. Hannah, I love you. Willow might be who kept my family together, but you were the glue; the incentive for her. You didn't give up hope. This family wouldn't be a family without you here. I know in two months, you can sign yourself into one of those places. I could legally put a stop to that. It would mean declaring you incompetent. I can't do that." Mike started.
"Daddy, I don't want you to have to take care of me all the time. I am afraid that you, Andrea and the kids will end up resenting me. I don't want that and the only way that I know to keep that from happening is to do this." Hannah admitted, all while petting the puppy.
"I can give you the whole line that it's our job to take care of you, but I don't think that will do any good. If you go in one of those places, we won't be able to see you every day. I will miss you and I know Andrea and the kids will too. Plus, who will settle Lauren down?" Mike asked.
"I won't like not seeing you all. That's the part that really bothered me." Hannah told him.
"Then don't go. Hannah, I want you here. Andrea wants you here. The little ones will miss you if you aren't here. It is my job to love you unconditionally. I have not always been good at that, but it is something I take seriously. And another thing; we both know things are not going well for you. I don't know what your future holds. I've heard the doctors, but I refuse to give up hope. I believe that there is some magic treatment for this. If there isn't and we end up losing you, I need to have you here. I didn't get a chance with Lucas. If I have to lose you too; I need to be there. I need to be able to hold you. To say goodbye. I won't necessarily have that if you go into one of those places. You are the most selfless person I have ever met, so I am asking you; do this for me. Give me what I didn't get with Lucas." Mike explained.
"I didn't think about that." Hannah admitted.
"It is not something I want you to concentrate on. Don't worry about resentment. We all love you too much for that. Now, that having been said; I am retiring. Its time. I need to home with you kids. It is not something that I am thrilled with, but I know that it's time. I need to make more of an investment with Willow, need to bond with MJ and Andrea needs me home to help her." Mike disclosed.
"But…this is all really expensive for my medicines and stuff. How are you going to afford all that? I know I may not be able to work." Hannah asked.
"Part of my retirement package is that I will have lifetime healthcare for myself, Andrea and my dependents. I made sure there was a clause that you would be covered regardless of your age. As now, we won't have any out-of-pocket expenses where your healthcare is concerned." Mike assured her.
"Oh. Do you get full retirement? You have only been in…seventeen years?" Hannah asked.
"That's correct. I have been given full retirement due to my service on the James. Had it not been for that, then yes; I would have only had partial. We would have made it alright but the full helps. I may find a part-time job at some point, just to keep my mind busy but for now, I need to be home." Mike told her. Hannah was big on logistics. If it wasn't for her disabilities, she might have been a good sailor. Normally, Mike would have been annoyed to discuss his finances with the kids, but he knew that Hannah needed to know her care wouldn't be a hardship.
"I wish I could find something I can do." Hannah stated.
"Well, I understand that, but I think Andrea is counting on you for help with the kids. They adore you." Mike told her.
"I mean like a job." Hannah told him.
"Hannah, you do not need to worry about a job. Work is stress and it is not something you need. As you improve; because I think you will, we might find something for you but for now, I don't want you to think or worry about that. I just want you to be you." Mike assured her.
"I do like helping with the kids and it's something I can do. I was able to swim a little this morning when my therapist was here. She said that the water might help me. Especially the hot tub but I need help getting in and out." Hannah told him.
"I will help you. You're using your right hand." Mike said.
"Yeah, it doesn't feel so numb. Lauren's asleep." Hannah told him as she smiled down at her little sister. Mike hadn't intended on Lauren sleeping but he would take a nap where he could get one.
"I think I am going to hit my recliner with her. You good? No more of this talk?" Mike asked.
"Yeah. I really wanted to stay home but I didn't want you all to get mad at me for needing so much." Hannah told him as she laid back down, with Lucy still in her arms.
"Never." Mike told her as he stood up and pulled a blanket over her, all while holding Lauren.
"I love you, Daddy." Hannah told him with a smile.
"I love you more." Mike responded. He was proud of himself for not lashing out at her. Maybe going to Doctor Grover was a good thing. He relaxed into his recliner and concentrated on his sleeping baby. For all Lauren's fussiness, she had her cuddly moments. He was looking forward to having more moments like that.
I know that the retirement talk might be wrong but I needed to put something so that is what I went with! Artistic license is great!
