Chapter 29: a game of truths
She wiped the cold sweat off her palms. With shaking hands, Hikari gestured Momo and Iida to take a seat on her bed and plopped down on her desk chair. She knew what this was about. The anticipation made it hard to breath.
"Thank you," Momo elegantly sat down at the edge of the bed, taking in the room around her. "I'm sorry if this seems-"
"Please get straight to the point," Hikari interrupted. The faster this was over and done, the better. Momo and Iida exchanged a glance, before class president spoke, "Shikogane-san, we know about your parentage. Admittedly, not much, but enough to be concerned."
Hikari bit her lower lip.
"Your recent behaviour had many of us worried. While I understand that it must be hard for you, you witnessed how everyone dealt with Midoriya's revelation. We are your classmates, your friends, and I'm sure everyone will support you. We don't understand why you are making such a big secret out of-"
"Yes, you don't understand." She was bitter, unable to look Iida in the eyes. "I'm not like Midoriya. I didn't just find out about them by accident. I've lived with them, I watched them do all those horrible things… How could anyone still believe me, trust me, if they knew I stood by and did nothing while people died? We're supposed to become heroes. How can I be a hero like that?" Tears stung in her eyes, her nails dug into her knees. The pain was the only thing preventing the tears from falling.
There was silence. A bone breaking, suffocating stillness. The tension dreaded to rip her apart any second, when Momo finally spoke, "They?"
She and Iida really didn't know anything concrete, did they?
"My mother and brother. My father died years ago."
Another silence followed. Forcing herself to lift her chin, Hikari found Iida staring at her, expression blank, features frozen. Momo's eyebrows were drawn together in a frown, her lips thin. There was no way telling what they were thinking.
"The villain you know as Neo Kumo is my brother," she admitted. If they knew that much, there was no reason to withhold anything else. They would ask about it later on anyway. "My mother was a villain called Kumo, but she went underground after I escaped them. I've lived with them for almost four years after they became villains. But I couldn't follow their path, so my brother, he… He hurt me. Until I couldn't bear it anymore and ran away."
Momo's face had turned incredible pale. She hid the lower part of her face behind her hands, while Iida…
"Neo Kumo is the villain who beat those five heroes last week, critically injuring two of them?"
"Yes."
He visibly forced his expression to stay bland. Momo turned to him, looking upset at the question. "Ii-Iida-san!"
"It's fine, Momo. You came for answers. Ask whatever you want, I'll tell you the truth."
"You said half of your scars are from your quirk," the class president continued, "is the other half from your brother?"
"Yes. He still hates me. He was the one who attacked me at Seishin," Hikari added, turning to Momo. The other girl's eyes widened. Iida carried on with the interrogation, "Are you planning to tell the rest of the class?"
"I..." She didn't want to.
"I will not lie, they might not be as acceptant with you as they were with Midoriya. But," his expression softened the tiniest bit, "if you work hard to gain their trust, I'm sure the class will be ready to accept you." This was probably the closest she would get to a pep talk.
Finally moving her hands off her mouth, Momo declared, "I cannot imagine how all of this must feel for you, but I don't think it's right to judge someone by their heritage. You seem like a good person. Kyouka and I really like having you with us. And now, I think I do have a better understanding of your actions, so, if you ever feel uncomfortable or bothered by something happening, you can always come to us."
Was she… Was she telling Hikari that they accepted her? That even after getting to know all this, they would still stay friends?
"I am seeing things the same way as Yaoyorozu-san," Iida agreed, "while I cannot understand where you come from and what you do, I believe you have the same right to be here as anyone else. All of us have done things that we regret," something unusual darted over his features. Was it regret? "No one can blame you for what you did as a child. If you really mean to be a better person and do your best, you will always have a seat at our table."
It felt surreal. They took it so much better than she could have ever hoped. Hikari had a hard time supressing her tears. She leaned down, bowing as low as her position allowed.
"T-thank you… I… This… Thank you."
She sat in the dark, trying to focus on the cartoon on her phone, with little to no success. After lying in bed for two hours but not being able to sleep, she decided to get comfortable on the couch of the common area. As far away from her classmates as possible, while still staying in the dorm. She didn't know what to say once would she face Momo and Iida tomorrow.
Something behind her clattered. The girl startled, almost throwing her phone across the room. She ripped the earphones out and whirled around. Narrowing her eyes because they were still accustomed the bright phone screen, she peaked over the backrest. Dark eyes stared back at her.
"Hikari?"
She couldn't make the person's features out, but she knew that voice. "Midoriya? It's two in the morning."
There was a short silence before he answered, "I know."
"You should head back to bed."
"You too."
They stared at each other, neither of them moving. Finally, the girl sighed. She put her phone on the table and patted on the couch beside her. Midoriya hesitated at first, but then decided to follow her invitation. They sat beside each other with him staring at his knees and her mustering him with concern.
"Couldn't sleep?"
"Yeah." He sounded tired.
"Me too," she tucked her hair behind her ear, "wanna talk about it?"
Midoriya's facial expression fell, he looked desperate. "I… I can't."
There was so much hurt in his words. Whatever it was, it shook him to the core. It made Hikari feel helpless. She couldn't stand to see him that desperate, but without knowing what was going on, she had no idea what to do about it. Biting her lower lip, she carefully placed her hand on his clenched fist, giving it a soft squeeze.
"Whatever it is, you can talk to me once you're ready, ok?"
Unable to make out more than silhouettes, it was impossible to guess what his face looked like. He stiffened, then turned his head away. Hikari panicked for a second, thinking she had gone too far. Wait, why did she even go for his hand? She wanted to pull back, when Midoriya's hand moved underneath her own. He gave a soft squeeze back before letting her retract her arm.
"I… Thanks," was all that came from him for a while. Hikari leaned back, listening to the ticking of the clock above the TV. The shining green numbers of the microwave reflected on the black screen, other than that, only dim moon light enabled broke through the darkness.
Despite trying to get away from people, Hikari was glad having Midoriya by her side now. She could feel the pleasant warmth of his body heat at her left.
"What about you? Why can't you sleep?" Midoriya's voice cut through the silence. Hikari let her head fall over the backrest to stare at the blank ceiling.
"Momo and Iida came to talk to me today."
There was movement at her side. Hesitantly, the boy asked, "And?"
"I told them," her own words made her feel nauseous, "I told them everything."
Hikari had no idea what they were thinking. Were they silently judging her after all? Would they tell the others? Would everyone be disgusted by her? Would they-
"Hey," Midoriya ripped her from her thoughts, "it's going to be alright. I'm sure they were just shocked, but whatever they said, they would never condemn you for your family's actions. Iida-kun has always supported me, even after knowing about Dragon. And I'm sure Yaoyorozu-san won't judge you either, she's a very good person. They might need to sort their thoughts out, but they'll come around."
She desperately wanted to believe that. But her experiences at Seishin proved otherwise. People always found something to make her feel bad about, something to make her feel unwanted, unloved. Her scars, her withdrawn nature, her unusual opinions on quirks and heroes, anything, really.
"I wish that were true," she admitted voicelessly. There was something about the situation that allowed her to show her vulnerable side. Maybe it was the darkness that concealed her body language, maybe it was the silence making her feel like she was the only being left alive on this planet. She acknowledged Midoriya's presence, but somehow, that didn't count. She trusted him. She knew he saw her the way she was, not the way she portrayed herself in everyday life. When she pulled her legs up on the couch to hug her knees, and he hesitatingly placed his arm around her shoulder like he did the night after her breakdown, Hikari realized how much comfort she found in that. When she allowed her head to rest against his shoulder, it dawned on her. She liked this. She liked being alone with him like that. being with Midoriya made her feel less alone, less like she was just being there for no good reason. More like someone cared, more like she belonged. He gave her so much without realizing.
The only other person to touch her and show affection was Neko. Hikari always returned her hugs and gestures, she never actively sought them out by her own free will. So, why did she with Midoriya? What was different about being with him?
It was strange.
The clock on the microwave showed 2:40. Ignoring the urge to prolong the moment as long as possible, she reminded her friend, "We should go to bed. Aizawa-sensei will kill us if we fall asleep during class"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
Midoriya's arm disappeared from her back. The sudden cold sent a shiver down her spine. But she had no time to wonder about the weird revelation. Tomorrow was her first remedial class, she couldn't afford to pull an all-nighter.
Chisaki, chin nonchalantly resting on his hand, watched his business partner arrive. It was harder to get intel on the man than he had hoped for. With a relaxed expression, he watched Dragon taking a seat on the chair across the room, in safe distance. The pillow didn't bulge under the weight of the freckled man. Just as he thought; Dragon wasn't physically here. This had to be a projection, probably through a quirk since no one was able so smuggle that kind of advanced technology in here. Dragon's underling took a stance at the villain's side.
"You've come for more," Chisaki assessed, not letting the other speak up. Dragon smiled politely.
"That is one of many reasons."
"It proved effective."
"Most certainly!" Dragon exclaimed high-spirited. "We wouldn't have been able to take down half as many heroes in Onderon if it wasn't for your brilliant drug. And that was your earlier prototype. I am sure your vast research has improved the product dramatically."
The Yakuza liked his 'business partner' less and less. So annoying and fake. Devoid of any emotion he wanted to know, "What will you give me in return? More intel?"
"I handled everything, I organized subjects for you, a new research facility-"
"That was in regards of our old deal. If you want a new deal, you have to offer me something better." If Dragon continued to be a nuisance above all, there was no reason to proceed with their partnership or whatever this was. And this happened to be the perfect opportunity for Chisaki to assert his dominance. His eyes flickered to Dragon's underling. The Yakuza lifted his head, ready to move, when the door burst open.
A small form speed into the room. Looking over her shoulder, little Eri realized late in which room she just burst in. Horror struck her face as she came to a halt only an arm's length beside Dragon.
"Hello there, young lady. Who might you be?" As kind as the villain sounded, Chisaki immediately identified the look Dragon was giving her. He studied her. He was a clever man, a dangerous man, able to put two and two together in an instant. This had to end, now.
"Chronostasis? Bring Eri back to her room."
Something moved in the shadows. A figure, clad in a hooded coat, face fully covered by a beaked mask, stepped up. Eri didn't dare to struggle as she was picked up by the figure and carried outside. As soon as the door closed, Chisaki came to his feet. Dragon didn't flinch as he approached, the villain was oblivious to the fact that the Yakuza had seen through his little trick. He confidently remarked, "I was going to give you valuable intel on your other new partners, you know, the League, but…"
He didn't back down, he didn't even bat an eye, when Chisaki stopped only as step in front of him. Dragon's underling was clearly uncomfortable, as much as he tried to cover it up. He couldn't be important. There was no way Dragon would take a valuable member to such a precautious meeting.
"But by now, I have become quite interested in this fine young girl, Overhaul. Tell me, is she the source of your wonderful drug?"
Wrong thing to say. Chisaki removed his glove and raised his hand to the underling's face. It was only a brush of his fingertips that caused the man's head to explode.
Dragon still smiled, unfazed by the bloody murder of his man. "My, I see you truly have an interesting quirk yourself. How very curious, considering your opinion on the matter."
He sat on the couch with his friends. They were all chatting happily, everyone congratulation Kirishima, Uraraka and Asui for becoming the talk of the day. They were truly stepping up the internship game. Izuku watched like a bystander, but still happy for his friends.
A weird sound came from the back. He whirled around, suddenly standing in a dark alley. But not any dark alley. He saw the silver waves of Eri disappearing in the blackness ahead. Not ready to let her slip from his grasp again, Izuku sped up. The darkness consumed him. The walls disappeared from his view, the temperature dropped. His breath turned into small clouds, wind was ripping at his hair as if he stood on a wide-open terrain. The ground beneath his feet was sticky. A sickening smell found its way into his nose. Izuku covered his face, realizing that the back of his glove was wet. Upon lifting his hand, he found it drenched in red. Struck by terror he staggered a few steps back, almost stumbling over something. He barely found his balance, narrowed his eyes and took a closer look. There was a body lying on the floor, almost unidentifiable in the dim, cold light. But there was one round, unmistakable shape on the body's wrist.
"U-Uraraka…?" His voice was incredibly slim. Unable to process what he was seeing, he took in her lifeless form, now recognizing two more bodies in the shadows. He couldn't breathe. There was something, some truth slowly draining all activity from his brain, he couldn't move his limbs, stared paralyzed at his dead friends-
The world went up in flames. They consumed everything around him. His whole vision was taken over by orange and red, he felt the fire burn through the soles of his shoes, nag at his clothes, he smelt his own burned flesh-
He couldn't panic. It was just fire. He didn't have the luxury to be afraid, he needed to stay strong, get out of this, he... Screaming, Izuku activated One for All and stomped on the ground. The flames burst into every direction, still growing, eating away everything in their path.
Don't panic. It's just fire. This is just a dream. Just a dream. A dream, he repeated the mantra and tried to get his breathing under control. He was so confused. One part of his brain was sure he was having another nightmare, the other actively believed in everything he saw and caused him to be absolutely terrified.
This is a dream. My dream. I have to take control…
He took a deep breath. Then another. Uraraka and the others were fine. He was dreaming. He would wake up and everything would be fine. His heartbeat finally slowed down.
By the time he opened his eyes, only a few lonely remnants flickered along the cracks in the concrete under his feet. Astonished he noted they were green. Somehow, the sight calmed him. He reached for it, and the flames came closer, almost as if reaching back...
Izuku woke to the ringing of his phone. He was sprawled across his bed, still in his gym uniform. His feet felt cold. Groaning, he pushed himself up with a stiff back. The teenage boy turned off the alarm, thanking his a few hours younger self for being smart enough to set it in case he'd fall asleep. As he put his phone back on the nightstand, a tear in his blanked caught his attention. Dreading realization hit him. He had done it again. He activated One for All in his sleep. The completely torn blanket and the filling of his pillow littering the floor were indication enough.
He couldn't focus. Not on his school work, not at hero training. Aizawa threatened to pull him out of the exercise. He even let a few tears slip when his friends asked about it at lunch, but he told them he couldn't talk about it. He really couldn't.
All Might was going to die.
He took his time bringing out the trash, not ready to face the others again when they were sending him these worried glances. He shuffled back as slow as he could, head hanging.
"I heard you knew Bakugou from before U.A. but slurping like him doesn't suit you. It's weird."
He lifted his head, finding Hikari standing in front of him, hands in the pockets of her pants. He knew her comment was meant to throw him off, drawing his usual stammering or mumbling out of him. But he wasn't feeling it today. The girl bit her lip and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."
"I-it's okay, I appreciate the, uhm, attempt." He had nothing else to say.
Hikari studied his face for a moment, then sighed. "Alright, I'm getting straight to the point," she took a deep breath, "Everyone is worried."
He pulled a face. "I don't need-"
"I know you can't talk about it," she took a few steps towards him. "but I can't watch you beating yourself up. And I won't be the last one to confront you about it."
"I know. It's just- What happened to your face?" There was a big blueish mark above her left eyebrow, mostly covered by her bangs. Hikari quickly waved it off, "Just a small bruise from training, please don't change the subject!"
"But-"
"Midoriya." There was a force to the way she spoke his name. Something that immediately got him to shut up.
"You don't have to talk about that exact thing. If you're okay with it, you can just tell me about something small, something that's bothering you right now. Even talking about the smallest things can help. Believe me, so, if you can bring up a minute, I've got some spare time until we leave for remedial class." She gestured to the curb stone separating the gravel from the lawn behind the dorm.
Izuku was conflicted. He stared as Hikari sat down on the curb and patted the empty space to her right, just like she did last night on the couch. It was funny how they always ended up having those heart-to-heart talks.
"If you need to know… I'm having sessions with Recovery Girl. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I've learnt a few things by watching her. So, it does help to get at least some of the weight lifted off your chest, even if the things you're talking about aren't what's bugging you the most."
"Wait, what? Why…?"
Hikari turned her face away from him. She seemed embarrassed by the topic and admitted, "Please don't tell anyone. I'm already enough of a special snowflake as it is."
He knew he wasn't the only one keeping secrets. Her confession caught his interest. Having made up his mind, Izuku plopped down at her side, thinking of all the things that currently nagged at his nerves.
"Let's play a little game," his friend suggested, "one concern each, we'll take turns. You can choose whatever you want to tell and how much. I won't ask anything in return, just accept your statement. Same goes for you in regards of my confessions. Okay? I can start if you like."
Sounded fair. Maybe he could hint at his worries without talking about anything specific.
"Okay."
"Let's see…" Izuku watched Hikari frown, obviously trying to come up with something. It took her a minute, and she looked quite embarrassed while admitting, "Mineta mentioned he found my scars ugly. I know it's stupid to get upset over something like that, especially since it came from him, and Tsuyu slapped him for me, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel very inferior to the other girls. They're all really likeable, intelligent and pretty, and I'm just… Me."
Izuku's expression darkened. He opened his mouth but before he could complain, a palm appeared in front of his face.
"No questions," Hikari reminded him, "your turn."
Taken aback, he debated with himself for solid thirty seconds. Coming up with something he could confess was hard when her statement itself was something that bothered him. He forced his mind to go back to yesterday's events. Before he knew, it burst out, "The hero I'm going to intern with hates me. He wants to prove that I'm not good enough. That's the only reason he accepted me as an intern." No need to mention One for All.
Hikari's eyes widened. "Okay, that's not small, not small at all, but okay. I'm sorry to hear that… Sorry, no comments, my turn."
Izuku sighed. It was only a tiny piece of rubble falling of the landslide that had covered him, but he already felt lighter.
"I'm training close range combat without the use of quirks with a guy from gen ed, and he pretty much hates me, too."
Being softly elbowed in the ribs because he almost asked for more, Izuku had to shut his mouth. As he ran his fingers through his hair, something else already came to his mind.
"There's a little girl I met during the internship, and she's hurt badly, but I couldn't help her. It's so frustrating! How can I call myself a hero if I can't even save a little girl from-" He was going too far. Izuku stopped midsentence, biting his tongue. He couldn't tell her, not Hikari of all people.
A warm hand was placed on his shoulder to spend comfort. Technically, Hikari was still complying with the rules, no questions asked. He sent her an appreciating glance. The girl retracted her hand and went on, "I'm struggling with myself every time I see my brother in the news. Whenever I hear he hurts people, I have to force myself to believe in the jurisdiction, so I won't think about going after him for revenge."
Another rather world-shaking confession. But he wasn't allowed to react. Instead, feeling more and more relieved with every sentence, Izuku let her know, "Someone close to me, someone I care about very much, is going to die soon."
He watched some students strolling across campus in save distance. He expected the truth to feel different once he said it out loud, but it didn't. There was still this painful ache in his chest, the sting in his eyes. But his posture loosened. He wasn't quite ready to accept the truth yet, and he would do everything in his power to stop it from happening, but just in case, he slowly had to prepare himself.
"Midoriya, I'm… I'm so sorry…" There was sadness in her voice. But she didn't dig any further, as promised. Izuku felt her touch on the back of his hand, like yesterday. Again, he returned the squeeze. Her fingers felt cold on his burning skin. He felt a tingling when her thumb brushed against his scars as she drew her hand back.
Something was different. They had comforted and broken down in each other's arms before, and as friends, it was completely normal to enjoy the other's presence. But Izuku couldn't help but to feel like this had been different. Why did such a simple gesture feel more intimate than giving a hug?
Quickly, Hikari got back on her feet and gave him one last, sympathetic smile. "I'll see you later. If you need-" she paused, then chuckled, "alright, I've said this enough. Later, Midoriya-kun."
For some reason, Izuku's face burned as he looked at his hand. He was unfamiliar with the feeling their short exchange left. Sighing, he turned his attention back to the now orange drenched sky. Feeling tons lighter than before, he was ready to spend a few more minutes watching the sun set.
