A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review.
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.
Feedback: Please let me know what you think
The next morning Natalie was in a much better mood. Her and Sawyer talked out their problems and then they had wandered into the Jungle and made love three times. Sawyer had ran off somewhere this morning she had no idea where and she didn't ask either.
"Natalie," she heard someone call out. She turned around, it was Jack.
"Hey Jack," Natalie said.
"Did you have any idea about what Sawyer was doing?"
"No Jack, I can't believe you would even think I would," she said hurt.
"Well its not like I know you anymore," he said.
"Jack I haven't changed that much," she told him.
"Yeah you have," he sighed.
"Did you need anything else or did you just want to make me feel bad?"
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad," Jack said.
"But since you're already looking at me with that look I hate I might as well tell you something else about me that will make you even more disappointed in me," she said.
"Natalie I have never been disappointed in you," he said. "But what is it?"
"Its about before I got trapped here," she said. "What I was doing when everyone thought I was out trying to become a singer, you know how I would go out every night to sing somewhere."
"Yeah I remember. What were you doing?"
"Well I was dancing," she said and Jack looked at her. "Around a pole, with barely any clothes on." Jack looked at her.
"Natalie why didn't you ever say anything before?" he asked.
"I didn't want you to look at me the way you are now, like I've let you down." She explained.
"Natalie," Jack said and he took a step closer to her and he wrapped his arms around her. "You haven't let me down and you know I still love you no matter what you do."
"Thanks Jack," Natalie said. "I love you to."
It was a few days later when Natalie was walking alone in the jungle. She knew she shouldn't be alone but she needed to be alone for a while. She was walking when she saw Sawyer and Ana Lucia together. She couldn't hear what they were saying she wasn't close enough and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what they were talking about anyway. Then she saw something she never expected. They kissed and the next thing she knew they were on the ground and all their clothes were off and she couldn't watch anymore so she ran off not paying attention to anything around her. She didn't see a pair of dark eyes see her run by and follow her. She ran until she was at the place she used to live. She stopped once she was inside and cried. Everything was blurry around her, she couldn't see for all the tears. She dropped to the ground on her knees and just cried not believing she had just seen the man she loves with another woman, having sex with another woman. Sayid walked in a few minutes later.
"Natalie," he said softly.
"I'd rather be alone," she said through her tears.
"No, I'm not leaving," he said walking over. He knelt down behind her. "Natalie," he said touching her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him. "what happened?"
"Sawyer," she said sniffling. "And Ana Lucia," she added. "I saw them together. They were…" she couldn't finish but she didn't have to Sayid knew exactly what she meant.
"Are you sure?" Sayid asked and she nodded and leaned against him and cried. He wrapped his arms around her. They just sat there like that until she stopped crying. When she stopped crying she looked up at Sayid.
"Thank you," she whispered. Sayid looked at her and smiled. He brushed her hair away from her face. Natalie leaned up and pressed her lips to his.
"Natalie," Sayid said and she looked at him. "You're upset and not thinking clearly."
"You want this to, you just don't want to admit it."
"Of course I want this, you're a beautiful woman and…"
"Sayid," she said softly and he heard the need in her voice and realized this was something they both needed. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently to hers. Natalie rested her hands on his shoulders and Sayid tangled his fingers in her hair and deepened the kiss. Natalie ran her hands down his chest and pulled his shirt over his head.
"You sure?" Sayid asked. And Natalie ran her hands over his chest and looked up at him and nodded.
"Yes," she whispered. He bent down and kissed her neck and she knew she shouldn't be doing this that she should tell him stop, but she didn't. Sayid pulled her shirt over her head and brought his lips to her neck. He lowered her to the ground and soon the rest of their clothes ended up on the ground.
Sayid grabbed a blanket to cover them up. Natalie rolled over and looked at him.
"You have regrets," he said softly.
"No," she lied.
"Yeah you do I see it in your eyes," he told her.
"Sayid…"
"Its ok," he said quietly. "We shouldn't do this again."
"Yeah you're right," she agreed. "We should just get dressed and head back to the beach."
"Yeah you're right," he agreed and they got dressed and headed back.
They walked back to the beach in silence neither one of them had much to say or knew what to say.
"So is this how's its going to be between us from now on?" Natalie asked.
"What do you mean?" Sayid asked.
"Awkward silence," she said. "Neither one of us knowing what to say because in a moment of pain we both gave in to something we needed," she said. Sayid was about to say something but Sawyer saw her walking with Sayid and walked over to her.
"There you are," he said and Natalie turned around. "I've been looking for you," he added.
"Well I guess you found me," she said.
"I'm going," Sayid said and walked away.
"What do you want?" she asked crossing her arms.
"Are you mad at me or something?" he asked.
"Why would I be mad?" she asked.
"You sound mad."
"Not mad," she told him.
"Is there something going on with you and him?" he asked.
"Sayid, he does have a name," she told him.
"Yeah I know, is there something going on?" he asked.
"Is there something going on between you and Ana Lucia?"
"We're talking about you," Sawyer said.
"Are you hiding something Sawyer?" Natalie asked putting her hands on her hips.
"Do you know something you're not telling me?" Sawyer asked.
"I'm done here," Natalie said and turned to walk away but Sawyer grabbed her arm.
"Let me Go!" she demanded but he pulled her closer.
"What is wrong with you?" Sawyer asked.
"Nothing," Natalie told him.
"You lie," Sawyer said angrily.
"I saw you," Natalie whispered. "I saw you with Ana Lucia," she added and Sawyer let go of her arm.
"What?" he asked shocked.
"I saw you!" she exclaimed.
"Natalie I…"
"What Sawyer?"
"I wasn't thinking clearly," he said.
"Apparently not," she said rolling her eyes. "Apparently you weren't thinking with your big brain."
"Natalie…"
"Am I not good enough anymore?"
"Of course you are."
"Well then I guess the sex isn't good enough then," she said upset and sat down on the ground.
"Shortcake, that's not it," Sawyer told her. "The sex with you is the best sex I've ever had."
"I don't believe you," She said and he sat beside her.
"I love you Natalie more than I ever thought I could love someone," he said softly.
"I love you Sawyer but lately I feel like I don't know you anymore," she admitted and he looked at her
"Shortcake I don't know what's going on lately but I need you and…"
"I need you to," she told him and looked over at him and their eyes met. "I love you but you make me so mad sometimes Sawyer."
"I know but I'm glad you haven't walked away from me yet."
"If I haven't walked away from you by now I don't think I ever will," she said smiling. "I hope you feel the same way about me that if I did something in a moment of not thinking clearly and a moment of pain that you'd be able to forgive me the same way I just forgave you."
"Natalie what are you talking about?" he asked confused.
"Nothing," she said and stood up and turned to walk away. She walked three steps and turned back around and walked back over to him.
"I need to tell you something because I don't want to lie to you," she said. "I love you and I want to be honest with you and you'll probably walk away from me forever," she said quickly.
"I would never walk away from you, I love you to much, no matter what you've done," he told her.
"I hope you still feel that way in a few minutes," she said. "We all make mistakes," she said. "But you're going to be mad," she added breathing heavily. "Really mad."
"Its ok calm down and tell me," he said.
"After I saw you and Ana Lucia I was upset and angry at you. I ran off crying and Sayid followed me. We talked and he was being nice. I was crying and he put his arms around me and held me until I stopped crying." She told him. "I kissed him," Natalie told him. "And things got carried away and we slept together."
"WHAT!" Sawyer exclaimed.
"Sawyer,"
"What were you thinking?" he asked angrily.
"I wasn't, I wasn't thinking," she said upset. "I was hurt by what I saw and I wanted the pain to go away," she told him wiping a tear that ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry."
"I can't believe you slept with him," Sawyer said.
"I'm so sorry Sawyer," She told him. She knew he was angry, she could see it all over his face.
"I guess we're more alike than we thought," she added looking directly at him.
"Guess so," he replied coldly and turned to walk away from her.
"James," she said and he stopped. "I know you're mad and you have every right to be but think about this, I'm just as mad at you about Ana Lucia so don't even act all cold and distant to me, Like I've done something wrong when you're just as wrong as I am," she told him. "We all make mistakes," she said. "It was a mistake," she said. He turned around and looked at her and his expression softened. He walked over to her. He tucked her hair behind her ear.
"Shortcake, I'm just a bit shocked," he explained. She looked away.
"You're not shocked you're mad," she told him. He ran his finger over her cheek and she looked at him.
"Hell Yeah I'm mad, that you would sleep with someone I hate," he told her. "It hurts," he added softly.
"Well you did the same thing to me and more" she pointed out. "Don't you think what you did hurt me?"
"I know, I know," he said frustrated.
"Can you admit you made a mistake?" Natalie asked.
"Can you?" Sawyer said.
"Yeah I can. I know I wasn't thinking clearly with Sayid and I never should have done anything with him and I admit that it was a mistake and I wasn't thinking clearly." She told him. "It was totally different with Sayid than with you. With Sayid it was just sex but with you its more than sex. With you once is never enough..."
"Twice is never enough," he said and she smiled.
"But with Sayid I knew I should have never done it and i knew what a huge mistake I made when it was over. I hoped you wouldn't hate me or walk away from you. I knew I had to be honest with you because things like this have a way of coming out and I didn't want to lie to you," she said. "So what about you, can you admit you made a mistake?" she asked Sawyer.
"I know it was a mistake." Sawyer told Natalie, "She never really wanted me, she did it to get a gun,"
"Well I wanted you from the minute I saw you, when Jack introduced us and said Natalie this is Sawyer the guy you should stay away from, nobody likes him," Natalie told him, a slight smile was on his face. "After that I was always trying to accidentally run into you," she added taking a step toward him.
"But Boone…" Sawyer said.
"I know and I did love Boone, I cared about David but I was never in love with him. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. Boone, well Boone was the first guy I loved," she confessed. "But you Sawyer, you're so different."
"I am," he said softly.
"Well you're the last person I thought I would fall in love with and I had no intention of falling in love with anyone," she told him taking his hands in hers. "But it happened and I'm glad it happened. I know you probably don't want to hear any of this but…"
"No go on, I want to hear whatever it is you have to say," he told her.
"Well I love you, more than I ever thought I could love anyone again. When Boone and I broke up the first time, I just wanted to forget about him and Shannon and everything so I never really dealt with the way I felt," she explained. "So when I saw him again after three years all the old feelings I had came back because I just buried them down and forgot about them or tried to anyway. I was to busy trying to survive this island I never expected to see Boone again or fall in love with anyone."
"Especially me," Sawyer said.
"Well yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that I do love you or that I don't know what I would have done without you," she told him brushing the hair away from his face.
"Really?" Sawyer asked and she nodded.
"Yeah, I couldn't have made it this far without you," she said wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I love you," Sawyer said and he leaned down and kissed her.
"I love you to Sawyer, more than I've ever loved anyone."
Natalie was sitting on the beach with Sawyer. Things have been kind of tense between them since what happeend with Ana Lucia and Sayid but they were some how managing to get through it. She looked over at him.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
"Nothing really," she said. "I haven't seen Jack recently."
"Maybe he's busy," Sawyer said.
"But he's always around to tell me you're no good for me," Natalie told him.
"Do you want him to tell you I'm no good for you?" Sawyer asked.
"No Sawyer I don't."
"Maybe he's accepted our relationship," Sawyer suggested.
"I doubt it," Natalie sighed. "I need to go talk to him, I'll be back soon," she said and went to stand up, but Sawyer pulled her back down.
"Shortcake," he said.
"He's my brother and that's never going to change," Natalie told him and she leaned over and kissed Sawyer. "I'll be right back." She added and stood up and made her way to the hatch.
When Natalie walked into the hatch Jack and Locke seemed to be arguing, She also noticed Michael was back.
"Michael is he ok?" she asked.
"He's fine Natalie," Jack assured her.
"Is this a bad time?" she asked.
"No, come on in Natalie," Jack said.
"We'll finish later," Locke said and he walked out.
"What do you need?" Jack asked.
"Nothing, can't I just want to see my brother."
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"I haven't seen you in few days," she said.
"I'm sorry, I've been busy," Jack told her.
"I know you're busy Jack," Natalie said. "I just…I miss you," she said softly. "Are you mad at me?"
"No, Natalie," he answered.
"Have you finally accepted my relationship with Sawyer?" she asked hopefully.
"No Natalie," Jack told her. "I don't know if I'll ever accept that."
"Then…"
"Natalie," Jack said looking at a door. "I have things to take care of here, can we do this later?" Natlie noticed Jack was looking at the door inside the Hatch.
"You and John were arguing when I came in," she said.
"Yes we were," Jack agreed.
"About someone," she put in.
"Natalie," Jack said.
"Are you keeping someone in here, behind that door?"
"Natalie that's ridiculous," Jack said shaking his head.
"You are!" she exclaimed. "Don't lie to me Jack," she told him.
"But Natalie…"
"You know I could always tell when you are lying," she said pointing her finger at him.
"Fine Natalie we are keeping a man in there. We think he's one of the Others," Jack told her.
"I want to talk to him," she said.
"Natalie I don't think that's a good idea," Jack said.
"Jack I have lived on this island for three years, just let me talk to him, I'll be fine," she assured him.
"Natalie I don't think," Jack said.
"What's his name?" she asked.
"He said his name is Henry Gale," Jack told her.
'You don't believe him?" she asked.
"I don't know what to believe," he said.
"Let me talk to him," she told him. "Please Jack."
"Fine, five minutes and that's it," Jack told her and he led her to the door and entered the code and unlocked it and Natalie walked in. "I'm timing you, I'm not going far," he said and shut the door behind her. Natalie walked in and looked at the man sitting down across from where she was standing.
"You," Natalie said. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
