When I Think About You

Chapter 29

"I love you."

My heart jumped in my chest and I pulled my head up, looking at the man before me. His head was thrown back and his flawless face glistened with a fine sheen of sweat.

"Tommy. Don't. You've had too much; you don't know what you're saying."

I frowned slightly. That… wasn't something that I took lightly. It wasn't something to just say when you didn't mean it. Although that night… when I thought he was sleeping… shit… I'm such a loser… but…UGH. I reached up in frustration and stroked his cheek gently.

"It's true… Never thought I'd be sayin' this but…"

"Stop." I said, squeezing my eyes shut as if that would stop him from speaking.

"It's true… Jus' sayin'…" and with that, he pushed my head back down onto him.

I moved automatically, finishing the job in just minutes… but the whole time my mind was elsewhere.

As I swallowed everything that Tommy had to offer, my thoughts raced.

"Oh… I love you…" Tommy's fingers twisted into my hair as he groaned softly.

I opened my mouth, releasing him with a quiet pop, and pulled his (MY) sweatpants back up on his hips.

"Are you fuckin' listening?" he yanked my hair sharply.

"Yes, Tommy. I'm listening and I want you to be quiet."

Confusion and a faint hope swirled in my chest…

NO… He's drunk. It doesn't mean shit for him to say that, I thought.

"I wanna say it!" he whined, pulling my hair again.

"Shhh… just calm down, glitterbaby. We'll talk about it in the morning."

"NO." My head snapped up as he grabbed me by the collar of the shirt and yanked hard.

"C'mere."

I paused for a moment, looking at him. "What?"

"Wanna say something."

I sighed and crawled up the bed, settling in beside him.

"Yes, Tommy?"

He frowned and, breathing softly, leaned in so his lips touched my ear.

"I. Love. You."

And again… my heart raced.

"Okay… I think it's bed time, no?" I asked gently, trying to sit up.

My efforts were halted, however, by the sudden sharp nip of teeth clamping down on my ear.

"Ouch! Tommy, stop it!" I yelped, tears springing to my eyes. Once the initial shock was gone, I reached up and grabbed a handful of his platinum fringe and jerked harshly.

I felt a twinge of grim satisfaction as his jaw flew open, a thin cry escaping through where my ear once was.

"Shit! Are you rabid!" I pushed his head down, his cheek smashed down against the pillows.

"Tommy, you need to go to bed now, okay?" I said, keeping my voice low and authoritative.

He whined softly, his bottom lip quivering as he replied.

"Okay…"

"Alrighty then." I released the handful of hair and leaned back down, kissing his cheek softly.

"I'm sorry, Tommy."

I kissed him again, this time on the lips.

As my mouth enveloped his, his body arched up against me and his hand flew to the back of my head, pulling me down. He returned the kiss with a fervent passion, opening himself to me completely and sending a jolt of heat through my spine. But he was still drunk… and I needed to control myself.

I broke away far sooner than I wanted to, earning a whine of disappointment from the smaller man.

But like I said… he was drunk and recently satisfied, so He couldn't stay upset for long.

"So are you going to go to bed now, mister?" I asked, sitting up and ruffling his hair.

"M'hm! I will!"

He smiled up at me cutely before yawning… And the next time his mouth opened, my heart lurched.

I finally said it, and as the words left my mouth it felt so right that I said it again… And again… Adam's head jerked and he looked up at me with wide blue eyes.

He bumbled something about me not knowing what I was saying, which pissed me the fuck off. So I denied it and pushed him back down onto me.

My head span from the alcohol and I knew I'd feel like shit during the show the next day.. but I really didn't care. Adam went back to business and I didn't last much longer.

Under attack by his skillful tongue, I lost myself completely, repeating those words over and over.

I opened my eyes briefly, heat flaring in my chest at the sight before me. Adam had a queer look on his face as he swallowed, his tongue lapping at me slowly.

I took my bottom lip in between my teeth, gnawing on it to keep quiet, but I again lost control as his lips parted with a quiet pop.

Words poured from within me and my heart dropped at his reaction.

He frowned.

And he dismissed me.

I repeated myself, petting his hair sensuously, and he told me to be quiet.

What the fuck.

Finally I'd had enough.

"C'mere," I said, tugging on the collar of his shirt.

"Wanna say something."

He gave me a puzzling look and came up the bed, lying down beside me.

"Yes, Tommy?"

I frowned to myself before leaning in close so my lips brushed his ear.

"I. Love. You." I said the words defiantly and hopefully.

His breath hitched slightly and I waited, breathing slowly against his skin.

He took a deep shaky breath and collected himself before speaking.

"Okay… I think it's bed time, no?" he asked, evading my confession yet again. Why wasn't he RESPONDING, dammit? I was too messed up to deal with these fucking mind games. I couldn't read his face, and anger boiled within me.

Without thinking, I kissed the top of his ear and bit down hard, not letting go.

"Ouch! Tommy stop it!" He sat in shock for a few seconds… but then he growled, grabbing a fistful of my hair and jerking. A small yelp was torn from my throat and when my jaw unclenched, Adam sighed in relief. He pulled my head to the side and sat up, forcing my face into the pillows.

"Tommy, you need to go to bed now, okay?" he said… The dominance and fierceness of his voice combined with my overloaded nerve endings from his grip on my hair, melting me into a pile of submissive drunk goo.

All I could do was comply.

"Okay…" I whispered, closing my eyes. I could feel my lower lip trembling, and Adam must have seen it too because I felt his hand release my tortured locks.

An instant later, I felt his full sexy mouth press against my cheek.

"I'm sorry, Tommy."

He paused again for a moment…. And gently turned my head to the side, his lips meeting mine.

Instantly, the heat of the moment sent shockwaves of pleasure through my body. I moved against him, trying to get closer, and kissed him back as fiercely as I could.

Just as I was getting into it, however, he pulled away.

We laid there, breathing hard for a few seconds until he spoke.

"So are you going to go to bed now, mister?"

He rubbed my hair teasingly.

"M'hm! I will!" I smiled, nuzzling my head against his chest. The booze was taking its toll and I was getting close to sleep.

"Just one thing, though."

I waited for a moment, afraid of what the beautiful man beside me was going to say.

"Yes, Tommy?"

"Stay with me until I fall asleep?" His big brown eyes peered up at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

My heart overflowed with emotions at that, and a smile formed on my lips.

"Of course, glitterbaby."

I laid back down, Tommy instantly melding to my side, and pulled the covers over us.

"Night night honey." I murmured, reaching to the nightstand and turning off the lamp, leaving the room in complete darkness…

And from that darkness I drew strength.

"Tommy?"

"Yeah?"

Deep breaths, Adam. Deep breaths. You can do it…

I laid in the darkness listening to my racing heart until I finally got up the courage.

"I love you too."