Thank you to all
imaferrari – Thank you. The family time was needed I felt. The brownies line was always my favourite from the show so I had to use it!
hphglover, freakanatomy, norar, domino lavendel, hugbuddy13, rachel hardy, ilovemyself26, Shanemmac16 – Thanks, I figured we all needed a break from the drama
bethers85 – Thanks so much, the brownie line is one of my favourites from the show plus I love me some brownies!
mutt009 – Thank you. Oliver is actually based on a real dog. He was my puppy who I only go to have for two day before he was put to sleep. He started having seizures and nothing could be done for him. I got him Christmas eve and he died on boxing day.
WillowOn3 – Yeah being cooped up inside is no fun at all. Yeah the updates are coming fast as the end approaches!
vox80 – Thanks! Glad you found the story and sorry it made you cry!
Two updates to go, the end is seriously close.
Usual disclaimer, SoN is not mine
Sorta Fairytale
Chapter Twenty-Nine – Hope
Ashley was awakened from her rather deep sleep by the shrill ringing of her cell phone. She stretched on the sofa in her in law's living room, where she had been sleeping since Spencer had been admitted to hospital, and flicked her eyes to the clock on the DVD player, four am! There was really only one reason she would get a call this early, something was wrong and seeing as her kids were asleep upstairs it had to be her wife.
She snapped open her phone and brought it to her ear, "Hello?" she answered anxiously.
"Hello Ashley, this is Dr. Gratis. Look I am so sorry to call you like this, but you need to get to the hospital as soon as you can," The elderly doctor said hurriedly, a slight edge of sadness in her usually calm voice.
"What? I uh...what's going on?" Ashley stammered, her heart racing a million miles an hour and tears starting to fill her eyes as fear took a strangle hold of her heart.
"Spencer has taken a turn for the worse Ashley, a few hours ago she has been coughing a bit and now it's progressed to pneumonia. Look I'll give you more information when you get here, but you really need to get to the hospital immediately," The doctor said in a strained voice.
"I'm on my way, tell her I'm on my way!" Ashley hung up the phone before the doctor could respond. She raced to the downstairs bathroom and splashed cold water on her face before hurriedly dressing in the clothes she had worn the day before.
It was now three days since the family picnic and Spencer had been doing well. She had been in high spirits and the side effects of her chemo treatments seemed to be lessening somewhat for her, all that had seemed to be wrong was a niggling little cough. So to get the call that she was really sick was like a kick to the guts.
Ashley jogged upstairs and hesitated only momentarily before knocking on the door to Paula and Arthur's bedroom. A few seconds later a very sleepy looking Arthur opened the door. As soon as he saw his daughter in law's face, he was instantly very awake.
"Ashley, what's going on?" He asked in trepidation.
"I uh, I just got a call from the hospital, Spencer has pneumonia and they want me there right away. If the kids are looking for me, please tell them I went to see Spencer, but don't tell them she's worse. I'll deal with that when we have to," Ashley choked out as she fought the urge to sob brokenly in her father in laws arms.
Arthur looked stunned and just nodded before being shoved out of the way as Paula shot past him, still pulling on her shirt. She grabbed Ashley's hand and dragged the brunette after her. All she had needed to hear was the hospital called and she was up throwing on clothes. The hospital calling at 4am was never a good thing.
Paula led the younger woman to her car and then sped off towards the hospital before Ashley had even gotten her seat belt on. They reached the hospital in record time and then both women bolted into the lobby and up to the oncology ward.
In the hallway outside Spencer's room they found Dr. Gratis and Judy talking in hushed whispers. As soon as Dr. Gratis saw the approaching women she sent Judy off and walked towards them quickly.
"Ashley, Paula, thank you for getting here so quickly. I'm sorry I had to call you in like this," The doctor said tiredly.
"No that's ok, can you tell us what happened?" Paula asked as she gripped Ashley's hand in hers firmly.
"Well like I told Ashley we knew Spencer had a cough and then noticed it had a become a rather nasty cough this afternoon. By late this evening she was running a very high fever. We have tried to bring it down all night, but aren't having much success. She has contracted pneumonia," the doctor said in a sad tone.
Paula closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath.
Ashley looked back and forth between the two women waiting for someone to explain this to her in words that actually made sense. She knew pneumonia was bad, but in light of the cancer Spencer had it wasn't nearly as bad...right?
Ashley bit her lip and then choked out, "I don't get it, what's so bad about her having pneumonia, it's not like her cancer is worse?"
Paula let a single tears roll down her cheek, she wished she didn't get it. She wished she didn't see the gravity of this situation which had just gone from disastrous to catastrophic!
Dr. Gratis motioned them to a row of seats not too far from Spencer's room and the three of them took a seat, Ashley in between the two older women. Dr. Gratis slid off her wire rimmed glasses and locked her eyes on Ashley's. "Ashley pneumonia is one of the most common causes of death in leukaemia patients. Usually getting pneumonia is serious, but when it hits a cancer patient like Spencer, who's body is already weakened and straining from all the treatment its been put through then it can be life threatening," The doctor said softly.
Ashley stared straight ahead of her and began breathing fast and shallow. This was too much, there was no capacity left in her to cope with this latest development. No, this couldn't happen...it wasn't fair. Spencer had already suffered enough! They all had. This was bullshit.
Ashley jumped to her feet and began pacing the hallway as the two older women looked on sadly. Ashley wrung her hands anxiously in front of her and struggled to keep her tears at bay. This was a blow she just hadn't seen coming.
Ashley paced away from the doctor and her mother in law and then spun to face them and said desperately, "So what do we do? What do we do to save her?"
Dr. Gratis sighed and stood up beside the now trembling brunette, "Well we are giving her medication and working to bring her fever down. We will do everything we can Ashley, I promise you that. Now the medication is making her pretty loopy at the moment and very drowsy. The next twelve hours are critical, if we can lower her fever then we have a chance of getting her through this."
Ashley stared mutely at the doctor and tried to absorb the words that had just been spoken. They could very well have been said in Korean for all the good it did Ashley. All she knew was that her wife was possibly dying and there was nothing she could do about it. She looked over at her mother in law who looked stricken and then turned and strode into Spencer's room.
She found her wife hooked up to yet more machines and IVs and noticed that she now had an oxygen mask on as well. Ashley swallowed back the fresh tears waiting to fall and took a seat on the edge of the bed. She took her wife's hand in hers and gasped when she felt how hot and clammy the skin was. Spencer was definitely running a very high fever.
Ashley sat a vigil by Spencer's beside all night long. She did not move an inch. Paula came and went with the doctor, she would have stayed but recognised her daughter in law's need to be alone with her wife.
Spencer slept fitfully, tossing and turning, mumbling deliriously and sweating profusely. The nurses were checking on her constantly, waiting for any change in her condition.
Ashley sat stock still, just holding her wife's hand and sending up silent pleas that her wife would get through all this.
As the sun rose, shining into the slightly parted curtains, Ashley leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the clammy brow of her wife. She reached up and gently cupped the smooth cheek and whispered, "Spencer, please don't stop fighting. I need you to keep fighting."
Paula stood in the doorway and watched the broken brunette as tears poured from her own blue eyes. Paula took a deep breath and swiped at her tears before moving into the room. She stood behind Ashley and rested her hand on the younger woman's shoulder.
"I just spoke to Arthur and the kids are good, just woke up and now he's getting them ready for school," Paula murmured softly.
Ashley nodded and reached up to grasp the hand on her shoulder. She didn't have any words to say to the older blonde that would be able to express how she was feeling. Paula understood that without having to hear a word and just squeezed her shoulder gently as a means of telling the younger woman that she was there.
It was a long morning for them. Spencer remained unconscious, tossing fitfully as the fever raged inside her already worn out body. The doctor kept coming in and then whispering in hushed tones to the nurses, none of which was doing anything to sooth the fear and pain inside Ashley and Paula.
Just before noon Paula left to call Arthur and the rest of the family to update them on the situation. They had all stayed away from the hospital on Paula's insistence, much to their protests. The only way they had agreed to stay away was on the promise that they all be kept informed.
Ashley rose from the bed and grabbed Spencer's Ipod and speakers. She turned it on and just hit play, figuring she would just play whatever her wife had been listen to, hoping the music would stir her wife to wake up.
As the song started playing she fought the urge to scream and cry, this sounded very like Spencer giving up to her.
Wish I were with you All I want is to be home Stand in the mirror All I want is to be home Echoes and silence All I want is to be home People I've loved All I want is to be home
I couldn't stay
Every direction
Leads me away
Pray for tomorrow
But for today
You look just the same
Just lookin' for shelter
From cold and the pain
Someone to cover
Safe from the rain
Patience and grace
All of these moments
I'll never replace
No fear of my heart
Absence of faith
Ooh
All I want is to be home
I have no regrets
Some I remember
Some I forget
Some of them living
Some of them dead
Ashley hit stop on the Ipod, she was scared to hear the other music her wife was listening to. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and tried desperately not to see that song as her wife's goodbye.
Ashley stared down at the sleeping face of her wife, willing her to wake up. Ashley sighed tiredly and reached up to cup her wife's cheek in her palm as she thought of happier times. She smiled sadly and whispered, "Do you remember when we got engaged? That night so did not go according to plan did it? I mean I had everything all planned out and then it all got ballsed up."
Ashley let out a little chuckle at the memory, "I had the whole night planned out. I was going to cook you dinner at the loft and then take you to the beach, the same place where you first told me you liked girls and then under the stars I was going to get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife. Well that so wasn't what actually happened now was it?"
Ashley gave her wife's had a squeeze and continued, "Well I started cooking and then you were running late, there was a catastrophe with your student film and you couldn't get away so by the time you got home dinner was ruined and I was mightily pissed off. I had been so nervous about the proposal that I lashed out at you. I felt so bad about it later. You tried to explain and I was just a bitch to you. In the end you got fed up and told me you were sick of me not supporting you when all you did was support me."
Ashley shook her head at the memory, "You were sort of right, back then I often got jealous of how much time college and your work experience and internships were taking up. I missed you and instead of just telling you that I stopped being as supportive as I should have been. After you yelled at me you pulled a velvet ring box from your pocket and chucked it at my head, thank God I have good reflexes or that thing would have hit me in the eye. You glared at me and snapped, 'if I didn't love you and want to be with you then why was I planning to propose to you this weekend?' before I could respond you turned on your heel and bolted from the loft."
Ashley leaned in and kissed her wife on the cheek, then nose before she continued the story, "I was so stunned it took me a moment before I took off after you. I reached the underground car park just in time to see you speed off in your car. Without thinking I jumped in the Porsche and followed you. I shouldn't have been surprised where you went, you always went to the beach when you were upset or overwhelmed. I pulled up next to your car just in time to see you disappear under the pier. I ran after you with the rings in my pocket, both the one you got me and the one I'd gotten you."
A fond smile covered the brunette's face as she recalled that night, "I walked up to you and found you sitting, hugging your knees to your chest while you let the tears roll silently down your cheeks. You were so heart breakingly beautiful that night, and every night before and after. I fell to the sand and your side and told you I was sorry and that I love you. You let me pull you into my arms and I just held you until the tears lessened. Then I smiled at you and pulled out both ring boxes. You looked at ne confused and I just beamed at you before saying, 'Spencer Carlin I have loved you since the moment I met you and I am going to love you forever. Eternity will never be enough for us. You are the one, my soul mate and other half and tonight I am going to ask you a question I hope you'll say yes to, Spencer will you marry me?'"
Ashley paused again and watched her wife carefully, she could have sworn she saw her eye lids start to flutter open. When she saw no more movement she continued, "I opened the ring box and you looked at me as though you didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so you did both. You launched yourself into my arms, making me fall back in the sand with you on top of me...a place I rather liked. You began peppering my face with frantic kisses while you said yes over and over again."
Ashley beamed, her memory taking her back to the exact moment Spencer had said yes. It was a euphoric feeling beyond anything she had experienced until that moment and only topped by three moments since, their wedding and the births of each of their children.
"Once you'd calmed down slightly I got you to stand up and then I got down on one knee, making you laugh and roll your eyes. I slipped the engagement ring onto your finger and you just stood there staring at it with a huge smile and tears on your cheeks. Then you pulled me up so I was standing beside you and you kissed me. Once you broke the kiss you dropped to your knees and grabbed my left hand in yours. You smiled up at me with so much love I lost the ability to form words. You said, 'I love you Ashley Davies, in ways that transcend anything I have ever experienced. I want my forever to be with you so I need you to agree to be my wife because a life without you is not a life I am interested in living,'" Ashley bit her lip and then kissed her wife's cheek again.
"I smiled down at you and even though you knew I was going to say yes you looked so nervous. It was adorable. I pulled you to your feet and crushed our lips together as I said a very determined yes. We kissed until we were both breathless and then you slipped the ring you brought for me onto my left hand. We spent the rest of that night in each other's arms under the pier. We talked, held each other in silence and made love as the tide rushed over us. It was a magical night," Ashley would have continued, but the blue eyes she loved so dearly began to flutter open.
"Spence? Spence baby are you awake?" Ashley said softly as she leaned closer to her wife.
Spencer let out a little whimper and fixed her eyes on the brown ones above her, finding comfort in the familiar gaze. She weakly squeezed the hand clutching her own and fought to stay conscious as blackness crept up on her once again.
Ashley reached over and hit the call button. She jumped to her feet, still holding her wife's hand as the doctor and a few nurses rushed in.
Ashley let out a breath she wasn't aware she had been holding. Things weren't great but her wife was awake, that was enough to give her a fresh surge of hope.
Song used in this chapter
Home by The Foo Fighters
