(Author's note: A gentle warning, this chapter may trigger folks who have starved themselves. Reader discretion advised.)
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It started with a single bad choice - that's what people tend to say when they have long term health issues they could avoid.
Alcoholism - just one drink.
Drug addict - just one pill, sniff, shot.
In the case of Gordon - it was missing one meal after a really bad day.
He had been under a lot of stress and other emotions after a harrowing rescue in the Arctic Ocean. Gordon had to rescue a family who had taken a glancing blow to their submarine from an iceberg.
The aquanaut took Thunderbird Four to the boat, which by then had already started to fill with water.
He quickly set the transport tube to the sub and entered, finding the family was nearing stages of moderate hypothermia, leaving them confused.
Gordon quickly transported the couple through the tub back to Four, where he placed them in warming beds. He was about to remove the tube when the woman started to talk about their daughter still in the sub.
The aquanaut, realizing the family's sub was nearly filled, quickly dove through the now flooding tube to get to their daughter. When he found her, she was shivering severely and muttering.
In Four, the parents were warming up nicely, but their daughter lost consciousness as soon as he put her in a warming bed. There he found from his own checks and John's scan her injuries were far more severe than hypothermia.
The rest of the trip was a blur, but he remembered two things: the daughter was touch and go from hypothermia and injuries she sustained in the collision...
... And her parents screaming at him, blaming him for them accident and not getting through the tunnels fast enough, both of which could very well take their daughter away from them.
The accusations chilled him more than the cold water could've done, and followed him as Virgil took him back to Two for the trip home.
"Gordo - it isn't your fault," he said. "You heard the doctors - they said the prognosis is good..."
The aquanaut shook his head. "But it's still touch and go Virg - they admit she also might not ever regain consciousness," he said. "What if I had noticed she had that the signs of a concussion? The broken ribs? What if I got there faster?..."
Virgil shook his head. "What if her parents had remembered to tell you that she was even in there? You can't keep second guessing yourself Gordon," he said. "All you can do right now is pray that she will be all right and know that you did the best you could in the situation."
"FAB," he said quietly, lost in his thoughts.
That night, Grandma Tracy - with MAX's help, served barbecued ribs. Gordon took a look at them and swallowed hard as images of the young woman and her broken ribs flashed through his mind.
He dashed off to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet. Scott rushed in to check on Gordon, helping him through the dry heaves.
A few minutes later, Scott handed Gordon a damp washcloth for his face and sat down. "Virgil told me what happened. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
Gordon shook his head. "It's nothing really - just a rough rescue and ribs were just a bad choice of dinner," said the aquanaut, who started to stand. "Listen, if it's all right with you, I'm going to skip dinner and head to bed. I'm not really hungry anyway."
Scott nodded. "OK. If you need anything - talk, eat, whatever, let me know," he said gently.
The aquanaut gave a half smile and headed to bed, not knowing that one decision would start an avalanche of bad decisions.
They started that night where he thought he couldn't fit through the tunnel, and watched the young woman drown again and again. That made him have a resolution - lose some weight.
For several days, he would eat the bare minimum to have energy, but would choose more filling, but less caloric foods such as fish or salad.
Every day he'd get updates from John on the young woman's prognosis, both positive turns and negative turns.
He was starting to read a correlation to his food consumption to her health - it seemed that the more he ate, the worse she got, but the smaller he ate, the better she got.
So, he kept eating smaller and smaller portions, hoping she would get well faster. It made sense after all if they lined up.
Two weeks later, the woman finally woke up fully, on the path to better health. The parents thanked International Rescue, saying an apology to Gordon for blaming him for the accident.
It was too late however - Gordon was already on a path of worse health. Because he was already feeling better from not eating as much, he chose to continue that diet, only adding the occasional sweet or steak to not arouse concern.
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Three weeks after the woman's recovery, Gordon got the surprise of a lifetime by a digital letter.
"Hey guys! Get over here!" shouted Gordon gleefully.
The other brothers, Kayo and John via Five's holograms gathered in the lounge to see Gordon practically leaping over the couches and chairs. "You seem to be - happy," quipped John, chuckling at the sight.
Gordon sat down in one of chairs to Three's chute and leaned forward, grinning. "You bet I am John - I've been selected to compete on the Poseidon's Mariners game show!" he exclaimed.
Alan laughed out loud. "You're kidding?" he said, and whooped when Gordon shook his head.
They congratulated their aquanaut brother, knowing he had fulfilled one of his biggest dreams - second only to his gold medal wins in the Olympics.
Poseidon's Mariners featured a variety of aquatic themed gladiator type sports - but unlike its historic counterpart, for fun and prizes. Only the best of the best athletes were invited, and after two years of trying to get in, he had finally been selected.
Gordon then collected himself. "Thank you, thank you. Now I've got to train and train hard," he said. "There's the studying of the games, practicing, training..."
"Eating well," said Kayo, studying the man a bit intently. Was it just her or did Gordon's Hawaiian shirt and denims fit just a bit looser than normal?
The slightly older man chuckled. "Yes, eating well too. I want to win that money so I can help the hospital," he said. "Afterall, I want to top Alan's International Dragon Runner win..."
Alan puffed out his cheeks. "I didn't quite win there Gordo - wound up with broken ribs," he said.
Gordon brushed it off. "Yeah, I know," he said, then rubbed his hands together. "So, I say let's get started on winning that title."
The others chuckled and stood. "Right - first off we'll eat some lunch," said Scott.
"C'mon, there's no time like the present to work out," said the aquanaut, starting to head out only to have a hand clamped on his shoulder.
"Hang on Gordo - training can wait. We eat," said Kayo bluntly.
The aquanaut paused for a moment, then furrowed his brow. "OK, we'll eat first," he said, letting himself be steered to the table.
He ate well, but the choices of his foods were still seen as his healthier choices - safe foods. Gordon refused dessert - apple pie made by MAX, then after being forced to wait an hour to let his stomach settle, started his workouts for the competition.
As the days went by, he started to become more and more obsessed with working out and less and less on eating. Sure, he was still eating, but he kept his portions in check: weighing foods, almost obsessively eating the same foods - eggs, chicken, salad, working hard to stay lithe and athletic, key for some of the monkey bar challenges between the contestants and Mariners, etc.
Eventually he started to skip at least one meal a day, which wasn't uncommon when they went on rescues, but those cases he usually missed two meals.
He then got comfortable with one meal a day.
The effects were starting to show on his body too, not easily noticeable when he wore his normal slightly oversized anyway Hawaiian shirt and pants.
Kayo noticed however and pulled him aside one day to address her concerns.
Gordon's response was to not only "agree" with her, he was eating after all, but choose to cook an elaborate pasta meal for all of them so he could show her he was all right. He even ate a hefty portion to make them happy.
No one - not even Kayo - knew that after Gordon "went to bed," he exercised for nearly three hours to burn off the calories, including a late night swim for another hour.
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The day had finally come - the day Gordon would be a contestant on Poseidon's Mariners.
He stood in front of the mirror, admiring himself in the uniform, though he would still find flaws with his body here and there.
"At least I don't look overweight like some contestants," he mused as he heard the door knock. "Come in.'
The young gofer to take contestants to the stage opened the door and entered. "Mr. Tracy..." she said, then paused as she looked at the man in front of her. Her mouth dropped open in shock.
"Yes?" he said.
"Are you all right? You look..."
"Great? Fit? A Finnick Odair of elegance?" he said, flexing. His tone however seemed to be a bit flat compared to what he was saying.
The young woman pursed her lips, thinking. "Are you sure you're going to be OK competing?" she asked, concerned about his pallor.
Gordon's smile faded. "OK competing? I've never felt better!" he said starting to walk toward her. "When are we starting?"
The gofer debated her next decision. She wasn't sure about the man in front of her could compete, but that wasn't her decision. The only thing she could hope was a medic stopped them to do a check on the man in front of her.
So she chose the diplomatic route. "In a few minutes. We need to head out for introductions," she said.
Gordon smiled and walked out to the entrance ramp.
He then heard the game master - Jayson Argo, speak. "And now, our first contestant, wearing gold, Gordon Tracy!" said Argo as Gordon stepped out.
There were cheers - the loudest from his brothers as he headed to the main pillar.
The brothers however then gasped at the sight of their brother. He was far too thin, ribs starting to stick out through the spandex costume.
His skin was dull, and his eyes sunken a little. Gordon's hair seemed a bit thinner than normal - eyebrows a little patchy, the cowlick not as prominent.
"What's wrong with Gordon," said Alan, concerned.
"I'm not sure," Virgil said, then turned to his watch and contacted Five. "John, I need you to scan Gordon," he said.
"FAB, but why?" said the astronaut brother.
The medic started to explain the issues, and John did the scan.
Virgil then heard a trumpet signaling the start of the first event. He had completely ignored the rules of the first competition, a grid of swinging monkey bars where the goal was to knock down the Mariner.
Gordon was already on the course, about to face Triton - one of the best Mariners out there.
A buzz on Virgil's watch made him look down. "Virgil - I just did a scan of Gordon... he needs to get off the course - now."
"Now?"
"Yes - his vitals show he's in high danger of a syncopal episode."
"Fainting?" said Scott, knowing the medical term from his training.
"Affirmative. How he's even ..." started John, but shook his head in urgency. "Never mind, just get him down now."
Virgil looked up and frowned. "FAB... but um, how?"
"I don't care bro - you need to stop that competition."
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Gordon was having the time of his life swinging on the course. He felt like he was flying - at least at first.
Then he started noticing he was having trouble concentrating, unsure of his grasps for the rings, and even missing a couple.
Triton, not knowing what was going on with the contestant, just assumed the contestant was having trouble with the course and continued to challenge Gordon.
They met in the center, and started their kicking and fighting in the hopes of knocking the other one into the "sea."
Gordon looked up and was confused. He saw two Tritons instead of one, and was starting to feel weak.
But he wasn't going to give up. "Oh, double trouble huh? I'll show you," he said confused, kicking harder bit missing the Mariner.
One well placed kick into his gut had Gordon seeing some stars however. "That's odd - normally a kick doesn't make me..." he said, only to then receive a light kick to the helmet when the Mariner tried to instead hit his hands to knock him off.
It did, but not quite the way Triton would've expected.
A referee blew the whistle due to the illegal move, but Gordon didn't hear it.
The combination of the hit and malnutrition made the aquanaut faint.
He went limp, losing his grasp of the rings as he plummeted to the water, landing with a splash.
The cold water briefly jolted him back into a semiconscious state, just long enough to notice a merman come toward him.
His last thought before complete darkness descended was why did the raven haired figure have a portable oxygen mask for him - and the merman's own mouth...
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Gordon was confused, tired and cold... the last was odd because he knew he was covered with a warm blanket.
Voices pierced his thoughts. "I can't believe he did that - or that I missed it. Of all the stupid..."
"Now Virgil, we all missed what he was doing. Even Kayo didn't think he went this far..."
"I wish I did though Scott - his squid butt would be fried calamari now for it."
"It already is Kayo... he's in the hospital because of his stupidity," said a lighter voice - probably John if he was still on Five. "What did the doctor say Scott?"
"As far as his fall or overall stupidity?"
"Well overall..."
Gordon groaned, silencing the debate. He slowly opened his eyes to find Virgil, Scott, Alan and Kayo in the room, with a hologram image of John - dressed in a long sleeved T-shirt to appear as though on earth using a holo-phone.
All but Alan had very cross looks on their faces, making him pale. "Um... hi," he said. "What happened?"
Virgil crossed his arms. "That's actually a very good question," he said. "Do you want the full story or just at the competition?"
Gordon looked at him, confused. "Both?" he said, uncertain of why two questions from his brother.
Scott then sat on the edge of the bed. "Well, the competition part, you fainted on the course and fell into the water. Virgil had to jump in and save you," he said. The man was thankful security had let Virgil, as a paramedic, onto the course when he explained the signs the aquanaut was experiencing.
"I fainted? How? I felt great," he said.
Virgil scoffed. "Maybe, but have you really felt great for a while?" he said.
"Yeah... maybe tired and cold sometimes. Why?"
Alan sat on the other side, trying to not choke up. "Gordon - you're ill - you're way too thin."
Gordon's eyes narrowed. "I'm not too thin... I'm fine Alan..."
"No you're not. I mean, you're giving me a run for the money, and I'm still in a growth spurt," the youngest said, running a hand through his hair in worry. "The doctors say you're suffering signs of anorexia."
Gordon shook his head, confused. "Anorexia? That's ridiculous. I've been eating and taking care of myself... fish, eggs, salad..."
Scott shook his head. "All low in calories Gordo, and it is a symptom to eat 'safe' foods that are like that," he said. "The doctor said your BMI is too low, and probably has been for weeks now."
The aquanaut shook his head, angry and pushed back the covers. "This is ridiculous Scott - I feel fine," he said, starting to stand up...
Moments later, he oddly found himself laying in bed again, only this time with Virgil sitting on the bed propping Gordon's feet on his shoulder.
Scott was checking his pulse while Alan put a washcloth on his head. "Gordon can you hear me," said Alan in his squeakier voice than normal.
Gordon blinked a couple of times, and frowned. "Yeah... did I just faint?" he said, confused.
"Yeah, you did bro. That's what you get when you stand up too fast and don't have enough blood pressure," said Alan, rubbing a hand over his eyes to fight back tears. "You're scaring me here Gordon - you shouldn't be fainting at all, let alone twice in a day. You shouldn't be this thin, you shouldn't be in the hospital..."
The aquanaut gathered his brothers in one of his arms, trying to hug him. "Hey, none of that Alan. I'm sorry for scaring you - I'll be OK," he said, then looked at his brothers. "I will be won't I?"
Virgil lowered his brother's feet back to the bed. "You will be, but it's going to be a while," he admitted as he sat on the bed. "You're going to have to do some inpatient treatment to overcome the reasons for you to starve yourself."
Scott covered Gordon's IV free hand with both of his and continued. "And you're not going to be allowed to be by yourself for a while," he said. "Can't let you start trying to skip meals or tossing them again."
"Really?" said Gordon, groaning.
Kayo stepped forward. "Yes, really, even if I have to personally carry you around to keep an eye on you," she said with a sly grin.
Gordon cringed slightly at the response, and Kayo continued. "Gordon I say that only because I care. It will be a challenge I admit, but you can overcome it."
"How do you know?"
"Because I've been there myself," she said.
"You starved yourself?"
"Yes Gordon, I did for a time after I found out my ... the Hood... was evil, and my parents died," said Kayo. "Food was the one way I could control what happened in my life, and so I started skipping meals, watching what I did eat, et cetera."
"What got you to stop?" asked Gordon.
"You - all of you. Your father saw my troubles and got me the help I needed," she said leaning onto the bed. "Now, why don't you let us take care of you?"
Gordon pursed his lips in thought, looking at each of his brothers and Kayo. "I'm going to be stubborn, you know that," he said, thinking about the past few months.
"When aren't you?" scoffed Virgil. "Besides, if you try to keep avoiding help I can sic MAX or EOS on you."
"Don't remind me," said the aquanaut, again lost in thought as he looked at his family.
Seeing their expressions of concern and love, he nodded. "OK, when do we start?" he said.
Kayo smiled. "Right now - with you telling me when you first started this..."
Throughout the afternoon, Gordon told stories about the triggers that lead to his starving himself, from the Arctic rescue and watch over the injured woman to the overtraining for Poseidon's Mariners.
The others listened to, argued with, and hugged him throughout the rest of that day, working out ways they could help him in addition to what therapy he was going to undergo in the hospital.
Treatment was long, hard and tedious, with visits from family and friends intermingled with therapy sessions with professionals, healthy and higher calorie meals, and ways to work out his worries and fears in a much more healthy way.
Gordon's case? He started to train himself to resort to some sort of art project when he got stressed. Sure, his child-like drawings or clay figures of fish and other sea life were no match for Virgil's artwork, but to his other brothers they were masterpieces made by a man who was working hard to overcome his illness.
Weeks later, Gordon was finally able to come home and was welcomed with a party featuring a buffet of some of his favorite foods - including fried calamari. He still pointed a finger at Kayo for the in joke, and yet laughing, ate a good portion of the plate.
To that day he was thankful for the game show and his family: the game show helped catch the issue faster and his family for helping him through the challenges.
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Nearly a year later after the incident that started his fight with anorexia, Gordon had another tough rescue, one that unfortunately had a loss of life. Worse, he had rescued a woman who had been severely injured and was currently in the hospital, situation touch and go.
He sat outside on the patio, feet dangling in the pool, as everyone else sat down for dinner.
Scott stepped outside. "Gordon, dinner."
"I'm not hungry," he said.
The eldest walked forward and sat down beside Gordon. "I know you're feeling like you're not, but you need to try and eat something OK?" he said.
"Scott, I don't want to eat. If I don't eat, that woman won't get ..." started Gordon, only to stare at his brother in thought.
Memories of the previous year flashed through his head of all that happened, up to and including his accident on the TV show. "Not again," putting his head in his hands.
"It's OK Gordon... you will struggle," said Scott, removing his brother's hands and giving him a big hug.
Gordon nodded and he returned the hug, then sighed. "Man - I can't believe I said that. My eating will not affect how she will recover - right?" he said, identifying the trigger.
"No, it won't Gordon, but if you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to help others like her survive," said Scott gently. He knew the rescue a year ago and Gordon's correlation of diet to the woman's health was the cause. "John is keeping an eye on updates though OK?"
Gordon nodded. "OK... but I'm not sure about dinner."
He then held out a hand to Gordon. "Come on - I had Grandma make a separate dish for you - your favorite: cheese and mushroom tortellini with alfredo sauce," Scott said.
The aquanaut gave a half smile. "Sounds good..." he said, grasping his brother's hand and standing.
As they walked in, Gordon wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders. They all knew there would be triggers Gordon would deal with when there were similar rescues and he'd try to slip back into that bad illness.
However, they all knew that with a bit of tough love and careful watching, the illness known as anorexia would be quelled as long as they were together.
