Abby threw herself into her hospital. The previous head nurse had done a good job, and except for a few minor changes, she left the regular routine of the girls alone. But, there were always problems to solve and issues to sort out, as well as wounded to tend to.
It was a much more extensive job than she could imagine, and her respect for Major Arant went up a notch. Although she had a similar job at home, when it was combined with all the military rules and regulations, it was almost a full time job just to keep up with the endless paper trails.
She kept her distance from the nurses. She was their superior officer, not their best friend. And, although they were all about the same age, she felt so much older.
As the days went by in a whirl of paperwork and orders, Abby had to come to the conclusion that she missed him. Terribly. So much sometimes, that when she woke in the middle of the night and reached for him, only finding the cold sheets at her fingertips, she buried her face in her pillow and wept, allowing herself the luxury of a moment of tears.
But, tears wouldn't change the facts. He was still a pilot, and when his number was up, she didn't want to be anywhere near him. It was easier to let him go now when he was alive then try to mourn him when he was gone.
Wasn't it?
For some reason, the Japanese took it upon themselves one afternoon to throw every piece of hardware in the area at Espirito. The air raid sirens wailed constantly as the low rumble of their planes flying overhead was drowned out by the whistling of their bombs hurtling towards them.
Abby had never seen anything like it. While trying to keep her nurses and her patients calm in the bomb shelter at the hospital, it was easy to ignore her own fear.
But, as the ground shook and grit floated to the floor, she wanted to put her hands over her ears and scream. Anything to drown out the terrified moans of those huddled in the basement with her.
"T.J, keep, trying, dammit!" Anderson had almost worn a rut in the floor of the tent that housed the radio equipment.
"Bobby, I keep trying, but no one's answering! I imagine they're trying to clean up the mess those Japanese bombers made!" But, T.J. kept trying to raise someone on Espirito as Bobby paced the floor.
It had been a couple of weeks since Abby left, and they all hoped like hell Bobby would get over it.
But, he hadn't. If anything, he only got worse. He stayed to himself and drank. If anyone dared approach him, he waved them off. Even French had run out of ideas.
They all went to Pappy for advice on what to do, but Pappy told them to leave him alone. He'd get over it in time. And, as long as he was able to fly missions and do a good job, there wasn't much he could do, anyway.
And if anything, Bobby was flying his missions and doing a good job. He was one away from making ace, but when they tried to talk to him about it, he was just as indifferent to it as anything.
It hurt them to see their friend suffering, but there wasn't anything they could do.
When they received the news of serious damage on Espirito, Bobby had demanded they call and see if the hospital had been hit. And, that's what T.J. had been trying to do for an hour. This was the most animated they had seen Bobby in awhile, even though it seemed a little irrational.
Finally, he got an answer. "214, this is Espirito. We're a little tied up here, but what seems to be the problem?"
T.J. motioned towards Bobby frantically as he replied. "Espirito, we know you're busy, but we needed to know if the hospital sustained any damage."
"Sure thing. Let me check."
There was only the hum of static on the line as they waited.
Bobby thought he was going to be sick as he crouched next to T.J. He craved a drink. He knew he was trying to bury his troubles in a bottle, but it was all he had. It helped him to forget. And forgetting was a good thing. So what, if he needed a little assistance doing it?
"214, this is Espirito. No damage at the hospital, although it's plenty busy now. That all you need?"
T.J. grinned at Bobby, but all Bobby could do was stare at his shaking hands as he crouched on the floor. T.J.'s grin faded. "That's it, Espirito. Thanks."
"Over and out."
T.J. set the headset aside, watching his friend.
Bobby wanted to believe it. He truly did. But, fear was taking hold of him. She might have left him, but he couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her, if she were on the next island or in the next hemisphere.
He jumped up. "What if she wasn't at the hospital? What if she was somewhere else when this started? Somewhere the Japanese bombed? T.J., you've got to call them back! Ask for a list of the injured or something!"
"Bobby, I just spent an hour getting them the first time! Why don't you give it a little while and . . ."
"No, goddammit, I won't! She could be dying out there. Or dead already." The thought made him pale considerably. "You get back on that radio, T.J., right now!"
"T.J., if you touch that radio again, I'll have you striped." Pappy strolled inside, Meatball at his heels. He knew about Anderson's tirade and hoped when he got the information he wanted, he'd calm down enough for someone to talk some sense into him.
Apparently not.
Anderson stared at him incredulously. "What? Are you saying that . . ."
"I'm saying that all radio communication with Espirito is to be put on hold unless it's an absolute emergency." Pappy's voice was even, calm.
Bobby ran and hand over his face. "By whose orders?"
"Mine. You want to try to buck it, go ahead. But, I have a fist with your name on it."
Anderson stared at his commanding officer before brushing by him. "I'll find another way."
T.J. shrugged from his seat beside the radio. "At least he's worked up about something."
"I'd have preferred it was something else," Pappy muttered.
He spotted Anderson racing across the compound, half-dressed in his flight gear.
"Son of a bitch, he is crazy!" Pappy caught him as he was climbing into his plane. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing, Lieutenant?"
Bobby climbed inside the cockpit. "Going to Espirito. I'm going to find her, and if those Japs hurt her, I'll . . . I'll . . ."
Pappy crossed his arms as he stood on the ground. "Just what will you do, Bobby? Take the entire fleet on yourself?"
"If it's what I have to do."
"Anderson, she left you! She's gone. She's not your concern. What kind of fool are you going to feel like when she's fine and dandy, working her little tail off in that hospital? Especially after I write you up for insubordination and leaving with military equipment without permission."
Bobby let that sink in and stood up. "But, what if she's not? I don't know what happened to her, Pappy. I've got to know what happened to her!"
Pappy studied his pilot for a moment. "Get down here."
"But . . ."
"Now!"
Bobby rolled his eyes, but obediently climbed to the ground.
"Now, I want you to think about something, Lieutenant. You've been moping around here for days, not understanding why she left. Now, the shoe seems to be on the other foot."
"Huh?"
"It seems to me that you don't know what happened to her. You don't know if she's dead or alive. It's rough, isn't it? Not knowing? Wondering if she's hurt or even dead, isn't it? Maybe you have an idea of what she went through each time you got yourself shot down out there."
Bobby stared at him for a moment before turning and barging away, tossing his flight gear to the ground in frustration.
As much as Bobby didn't want to admit it, Pappy was right. It did stink not knowing.
No wonder she left me.
He took another swig of his beer, trying to focus on the conversation flowing about him. For the first time since she'd left, he'd showed up at the Sheep Pen for some actual fellowship with his buddies. And he tried to pay attention. He really did.
But, his ever-present worry for Abby, along with Pappy's words, kept his mind occupied.
He almost jumped out of the chair when someone slapped him on the back.
It was Pappy.
And he looked pleased with himself.
He leaned in close, so the others would have to strain to here. "I made some calls. She's alright. Not a scratch on her."
Just hearing those words made the anxiety of the last few hours fade away.
She was going to be alright after all.
With or without him.
"Thanks, Pappy."
Pappy patted him on the shoulder. "No problem. Now, who wants to give me all their money in a friendly game of poker?"
Bobby even stuck around to play a few hands, surprising even himself.
Larry Casey wasn't one to butt in when it was none of his business. But, he had watched Anderson since Abby was gone.
The man was a wreck. A complete and total wreck.
The only place he seemed to be himself was in the cockpit of his Corsair. He got his fifth kill confirmed and some "Stars-and-Stripes" reporter was interviewing him now. Although, he honestly seemed to care less about the whole deal.
And, truth be told, he liked Abby. Sure, she scared the shit out of him most of the time with her take-charge attitude and smart-ass mouth. He admired her, even, for standing up for them and herself when the Japanese took over the island. She hadn't fallen to pieces like he thought most women would do when faced with such a situation.
But, the way she flaked out on Bobby really pissed him off.
The first R&R he got, he headed to Espirito, telling no one what he was up to.
He wondered if she would even know his name. They didn't have much interaction when she was on Vella La Cava, and he was usually too intimidated to hold much of a conversation with her.
But, he finally tracked her down at the Officer's Club, having dinner with a doctor from the hospital.
He was delighted when her eyes lit up when he approached her table as they were deep in conversation. "Larry Casey! What a surprise!" She stood up and made introductions, the doctor giving him a perfunctory nod and annoyed look.
Oh, crap, he'd bumbled into something. "I . . . I just wanted to stop by to see you. I didn't mean to interrupt?" He started to edge away.
"Oh, no, Casey, you didn't interrupt at all. This is just hospital business. Let me finish up here, and I'll meet you outside."
Judging from the look on the doctor's face, it was more than just 'hospital business,' but it seemed Abby was unaware of the admiration in the doctor's eyes.
Maybe he'd gotten here just in time.
Abby met him in the lobby, chattering away. "It's so good to see a friendly face around here! So, tell me, how are things going?" And, it really was. She found it hard to connect to anyone on this island. Everything was so . . . so military! A friend softened her rough edges, even if just for a bit.
They wandered down towards the beach as they chatted, the roar of the surf pounding the shore a welcome relief from the everyday military clatter of planes and jeeps.
And, he found that Abby really wasn't as scary as he thought. He even told her so after they talked for an hour. "You know, you always scared me a bit."
"Me? Scared you? Don't be silly."
"Honestly, you did! You're so tough and feisty, I didn't quite know how to take you, I guess. Especially after you broke up that fight with me and Jerry."
Abby looked at the sand as they sauntered along, her shoes in her hand. "Appearances can be deceiving, Larry. I'm not as . . . as tough as I seem. I used to think I was, but now . . ." She shrugged.
They walked in silence for a moment.
Casey had been dancing around the subject, avoiding speaking about him. So, he took a deep breath and plunged right in. "You know, Bobby made ace."
"I know. I read it in 'Stars and Stripes.'" She'd even cut out the article, complete with his picture, and saved it, but she wasn't about to tell Casey that. She wasn't going to tell him that she checked the injured and killed-in-action lists daily for any of their names, either. She'd have to give it up in time, she knew that, but for now, it kept her connected to him.
"He misses you." Casey wasn't sure how to say it, but he knew it had to be said. "He's taking it pretty hard." He braced himself for her reaction.
Abby felt her smile falter. "I miss him, too, Larry."
Casey stopped walking, so Abby did, too. "Why don't you go see him?"
"It doesn't work like that, Larry."
"Why? Because your pride won't let it?"
He saw the spark of anger in her eyes and wondered if he'd gone too far. He resisted the urge to take a step back.
She started walking again, and he had to rush to catch up. "I don't owe you an explanation, but I'll give you one, anyway. I left him, Larry. I have no right to torture him, or me for that matter, with keeping in touch."
"When we heard about the bombings here, he panicked. Went half-crazy. Made T.J. call for an hour to see if the hospital had been hit."
Abby stopped. "He did?"
"Yeah, and when he found out it wasn't, he was still upset because you might not have been in the hospital, and he was going to fly out here and find you."
"Did he? Fly out here?" She found it hard to believe he'd come this far and not contact her. But, then could she blame him?
Casey shook his head. "Pappy stopped him. I don't know what was said, but it was a lot of yelling." He shrugged. "You know Pappy."
They started walking again. "Can I ask you something else, Abby?"
"As long as it doesn't involve my personal life."
"It sorta does."
She didn't answer for a bit, so he took to mean she approved. "You left Bobby because he's a pilot. Right?"
Her eyes narrowed. "Where're you going with this, Casey?"
"Just answer me. Right?"
"Fine. Right."
"So, now you're not together. He's still a pilot, still flying the same missions he would have been flying if you were still on Vella La Cava, right?"
"Right," she answered, a little warily.
He fixed his gaze on her. "So, if he gets killed tomorrow, will it make it any easier, now that you're not together? Or will it hurt just as bad as it would have if you were still together?" He looked a little smug at his reasoning.
Abby stopped and stared at him. Several thoughts floated to the surface in her brain, but none of them were plausible arguments to his logic.
"I just think you're making yourself more miserable than you need to be. You love him. He loves you. Enjoy that. Cling to it. Fight for it. Because if he gets killed, I think you'll wish you had." He tipped his hat at her. "Excuse me, Abby, but I've got to get back to La Cava."
Abby just stared at him as she watched him go, leaving her alone on the beach.
