Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I love orange juice. I can drink an entire gallon in a day. I love orange juice.
"Jiraiya. Thank you for helping put up the repairs."
"It's nothing." The Toad Sage rubbed the back of his head and laughed. "This place really brings back some good memories." He paused to nip an oyster from his bowl. "You're cooking is as good as ever. Yuuko."
"Thank you." The woman smiled. "If only Akio here worked half as hard as you."
"Hey!" Her husband griped. "You keep insinuating that I'm lazy. I'm not that lazy. Yuuko. Seriously."
"Yes you are. Just the other day, your daughter fainted on the front desk. She's literally overworking herself while you're out messing around with your 'friends'!"
Jiraiya widened his eyes in concern. "How's Chihiro doing anyway?"
"We're making her take a break." Akio sighed. "Right now, she's looking through employee applications and trying to figure out who she should interview to fill in for her."
He paused to share a look with his wife. "Jiraiya. We have a favor to ask of you."
The Toad Sage finished up the rest of his food and sat back. "Ask away."
"Yuuko is right. Chihiro is working herself to death here. She needs to broaden her horizons. We know you travel a lot. We're wondering if you could take her with you, let her see the world."
"I don't know." Jiraiya replied thoughtfully.
Yuuko frowned. "If it's money you're worried about-"
"No.. It's not the money."
"If it's not the money, then..?"
The Toad Sage sighed. "It's dangerous out there, especially in my line of work. If something were to happen to her, I'd never be able to forgive myself."
"Really now." Akio stood up, his voice taking on a confrontational tone. "You speak as if our daughter were some weak little girl who can't even defend herself. I mean, sure she's not a Shinobi like you, but she's an adult. She knows how to fend for herself. My grandparents put everything they had into starting this place as a bathhouse. Everything has risks. If everyone were to back down at the first sign of danger, nothing would ever get done. Jiraiya, Chihiro needs this. Please."
Yuuko looked up at her husband and smiled. The man really knew how to be persuasive when needed.
Jiraiya frowned before finally relenting. "Does she know about this yet?"
"No." Yuuko shook her head. "She doesn't."
The Toad Sage sighed. "Alright. I'll help do the dishes while the two of you break the news to her."
As they moved their separate ways, Yuuko stopped. "Oh and Jiraiya?"
Jiraiya turned, a stack of plates and utensils in his arms. "Hm?"
"If I find that you've done anything.. unbecoming.. to our daughter, I swear I will hire people to hunt you down."
"Really?" The Sage grinned. "You're going to leave a pretty girl with me and expect me to not do anything? You, of all people, should know me better than that!"
"Jiraiya!" The couple sent identical glares toward the legendary pervert.
"Just kidding." Jiraiya laughed. "I swear I won't touch her." He turned his back and resumed making his way toward the kitchen. The Sage grinned. Doesn't mean I can't look every now and then.
Intermission
The fear in his heart threatened to overwhelm him, and he ran like his life depended on it.
He gulped. I messed up really bad..
Behind him, he could hear the sound of his pursuer getting louder and closer.
The boy picked up his pace. Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.
Impossibly, the sound of his pursuer's voice became even louder, bringing him nearly to his knees. Oh fuck I messed up. Oh crap. Oh fuck. Oh shit. Oh my god.
"NAAAAAAARUUUUUUUUUTOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Naruto trembled as he ducked into an alleyway. There was only one safe place left: home.
Taking a shortcut, the blonde made use of the ANBU evasion skills that he'd developed in his more gutsy pranking days to get away. Everyone always expected him to stupidly head straight home. Naruto pouted at the thought as he took a large detour. I'm not that stupid.
He burst through the door to the sight of his dad moving around in the kitchen, the smell of food wafting into his nose.
Minato turned at the noise and smiled in greeting. "Hey Naruto. You're back early. I thought you were going to go see your friend. How'd it go?"
Naruto shut the door behind him and collapsed onto the dining room chair. "They're having a little bit of a rough time right now." He laughed sheepishly. "I'll go visit them later when they're all OK again."
A sudden knock caused the boy to jump. A muffled voice sounded through the door. "Hello? Is anyone home?"
Minato slid an entree into a large plate. "Naruto, could you get the door?"
"Sorry dad!" Naruto jumped. "I gotta go use the restroom!"
Minato sighed. Washing and drying his hands quickly, he made his way to the door. Standing outside their apartment was a small, pink-haired girl. The girl bowed. "Yondaime-Hokage sama. Is Naruto home?"
"You must be Sakura."
"Mhm. My name is Haruno Sakura. I'm Naruto's genin teammate." The girl replied.
Haruno.. sounds familiar.. Minato smiled. "Why don't you come in and take a seat? Naruto should be out shortly."
The girl gave a prim nod. "Your apartment's really nice."
"Thank you." The former Kage stopped. "Oh! I remember now! Sakura-chan, I met your parents a couple weeks ago! Haruno Mebuki and Haruno Kizashi right?"
"Yes."
Minato beamed. "They were really nice. I should invite them over some time. We need to get to know each other."
"Well," Sakura sighed. "I'm actually here because Naruto pulled a really bad prank on them. I just want to take him back so that he can apologize for what he did."
Plastered to the bathroom walls on the other side of the apartment, Naruto began to sweat profusely.
Minato offered the girl a cup of tea which she took cordially. "Tell me about it."
Flashback
Naruto smiled as the door opened. "Hi Sakura-chan! I'm back!"
The pink-haired kunoichi looked her teammate over steadily, her voice oddly strained. "Naruto. Have you met my parents?"
"Umm.." The blonde frowned in thought. "No. I don't think so."
The kunoichi smiled. A chord of fear shivered down Naruto's spine. Oh god. I know that smile.
"Oh really, because I'm pretty sure they introduced themselves to you before you left for your 'training trip'. MOM! DAD! Can you come here for a second?"
Introduced themselves to me.. before I left. Who? Naruto rummaged through his head. Tidbits of memory came to him in small increments.
A voice came from inside the house. "Sakura, what is it?" The voice stopped. "You."
Sakura smiled. "Meet my parents. Haruno Kizashi and Haruno Mebuki."
Naruto gulped.
Flashback Inception
I hope they enjoy what I have in stock for them. The original smiled and left as his clone made its way toward the couple. The clone quickly ducked back into an alleyway and made more clones of itself. Each clone then transformed into either medical Shinobi or civilians, leaving ten clones who turned themselves into the walls, ceilings and curtains of a booth. The medic-clones set up the booth in the Konoha market. The lead clone rubbed his hands together. This is what they get for lying to me.
The civilian clones lined up in pairs of two into the booth. A few passersby stopped to ask what the booth was for. One of the medic-clones, a female, smiled. "We're inspecting for infection. There's been an outbreak. It's a public health issue."
A few civilians began to join the line. Inside the booth, five medic-clones clones shared a quiet giggle. As people cycled in, the lead-medic put a hand on their heads and nodded. "You're healthy. You may go."
When the Haruno couple finally entered the booth, the lead medic put his hand on the head of one then the other. He frowned. "I'm getting some dangerous readings. We'll need to further check you. You're going to have to take off all your clothes."
Kizashi's face scrunched up. "WHAT?!"
The medic shook his head. "It's part of the procedure. Don't make us use force. This is a very dangerous virus we're talking about. I'm sorry if this troubles you, but it is necessary."
The couple stared back into the hard eyes of the seasoned-looking medic. With a sigh, they reluctantly complied.
The medic-clone nodded. "Thank you." The other clones walked up and poured water onto the couple's bodies.
Mebuki yelped. "What are you doing?!"
The lead medic-clone smiled and disappeared in a puff of smoke. The medic was replaced by none other than the village prankster. The Naruto clone stuck out his tongue and vanished
Kizashi's eyes widened. "What the fuck?!"
They were suddenly enveloped by a massive poof of smoke. When the smoke cleared, the booth, the medics and the couple's clothes were all gone. There was nothing left but a couple of shrubs left on the ground for the couple to use to keep whatever decency they had left.
Kizashi grit his teeth. "I hate that kid so much."
Mebuki nodded. "I know Kizashi. I know."
End Flashback Inception
Before he could hear them say anymore, the blonde did what he'd always done when he was caught pranking.
He ran.
End Flashback
Minato stood up. "I'll go get him. Wait here."
The former Kage put on a stern face. He could sense his son eavesdropping nearby, his massive Chakra reserves a beacon to any sensor-nin. "Naruto. Come out."
The boy rolled slowly around the corner, a look of fear stamped on his face.
"You're going to go back with your teammate and you're going to apologize to her parents. If they have any punishments for you, you are to take it. Come to me if there are any further problems. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes Dad." Naruto ducked his head in shame. This was the first time his dad had ever reprimanded him seriously.
"Thank you. Sorry for bothering you." Sakura turned to the former Kage and bowed before turning her attention back to her errant teammate. "Naruto. Let's go."
The blonde prankster nodded glumly.
-Intermission-
"Seriously, why do you always have to mess around? Pranking is not nice. You should treat people with more respect. Why can't you be more like Sasuke?"
Naruto looked down at his toes. "I'm sorry."
Sakura sighed. "Save it for my parents. They're the victims here."
"Wait!"
Sakura jumped in surprise. "What? What happened?"
"Sasuke! He's gone!"
His teammate frowned, her voice becoming dejected. "I know. We haven't been able to find him for over ten days now."
"No! You don't understand! Sasuke was with us while we were away!"
Sakura looked up in surprise. "What?!"
"My dad says he's gone travelling. He says he's not coming back until he's found his brother."
The kunoichi glared angrily at her teammate. "Why didn't you stop him?!"
"I couldn't." Naruto replied quietly. "I just couldn't."
"Did you even try?!"
Naruto nodded, his voice becoming small. "He says he'd leave even if he had to crawl."
Sakura stopped the next biting remark that jumped to the tip of her tongue as she realized something that she should've known a long time ago. Naruto cares about him. Almost as much as I do.
The kunoichi chided herself inwardly for her insensitivity and pulled her teammate into a small embrace. "Sorry for yelling at you."
"No." Naruto broke the embrace. "I know how much you like him." The blonde's face turned up in a snarl. "He called your relationship a child's game. He says that he doesn't care about any of us. That bastard. He's such a liar! I can't believe-"
"That's not true. Naruto." Sakura stared, devastated into the distance as she began to register her teammate's words. "That's not true. That's not what he told me." She stopped and grit her teeth in an effort to keep the tears in her eyes from falling out. Suddenly, the kunoichi ran, leaving her teammate to run after her from behind.
"Sakura-chan! Wait!"
-A/N-
I ship things. I pick them up. I put them together. I send them off in a bundled package. Shippity-shippity-ship.
