I am so sorry for taking so long to update. My life has been so hectic lately and I had a major case of writer's block. But I am proud of this chapter and how it turned out. So please review after reading it. I would love to hear what you have to say.
Thank you to everybody who has reviewed up to this point. You make me work even harder when I'm stuck, even if it doesn't show. So thank you.
Chapter 29
I groaned as I opened my eyes, hating the ache that had become my head. If I never got pushed head first into a brick wall again, it would be too soon. I wanted to get angry and yell but then the ache would turn to pounding. I didn't do to well with pain…I'm kind of a baby about it. If I get a cold it was the end of the world, I would literally say I was dying.
I don't remember much of my trip to the hospital. Just Sadie crying as they loaded me into the ambulance and then I think I must have blocked out because I had no idea how I got from the ambulance to the ER.
I rolled over and mentally cursed the doctor that told me that he would prescribe me pain killers but he thought over the counter medicine would do the trick. Was he nuts, my head felt like it was going to explode. I still can't believe Darius talked them into letting me go to Tommy's house instead of the over night stay in the ICU. But basically I just need to be woken up every couple hours but I only had a slight concussion. But I don't see how that is possible with my head about to fall off.
I heard my door creak open slowly and closed my eyes. I didn't want to answer any questions so it's just easier to pretend to be sleeping than look into Tommy's eyes when he looked so angry. I was pretty sure he wasn't angry at me but maybe a little part of him was. I did go outside knowing that was against the recommendations of the police.
When I didn't hear steps walk into the room I sighed and opened my eyes and saw Aubrey standing in my doorway. I tried to smile reassuringly but I probably just came across scary looking.
"Hey Aubrey," I whispered waving with one hand.
I watched as she walked towards me with her tiny steps, almost like she didn't feel like she was welcome. I helped her up so she was laying down beside me. I smoothed her back like my Mom use to do for me and watched as she closed her eyes with a small smile on her face.
"I wish you would talk to me Aubrey," I whispered again. "I need somebody to talk to right now." I rolled over so I was staring at the ceiling. "Somebody tried to kill me today. Well maybe not kill me but they could have seriously hurt me. I was lucky…that's what everybody keeps saying. Somehow I don't look at it quite like that. If I was lucky I wouldn't have some stalker following me, taking pictures of me and pushing me into walls. He really hates me Aubrey."
When she just made a little grunting noise, I know she wasn't hearing a word I was saying but I kept talking anyway. "I never should have won that contest. Ever since I won and became Canada's next Instant Star I've had to deal with crap. I don't even feel like Jude anymore…I'm like becoming a pod person. Worse than that…I feel like I'm turning into Eden or something. I just do what everybody tells me to do and try not to make waves."
I closed my eyes and nearly jumped out of my skin when Tommy spoke from the doorway. "You could never be Eden Jude," he said stepping into the room. He felt bad for dropping her off in her room and leaving her but he had needed to cool down before and he couldn't do that when he stared at her face. She had little cuts all over and you could tell by looking into her eyes that she was in pain.
"Not cute enough," I joked smirking.
"Too talented," Tommy said shaking his head. He walked around to the other side of the bed and sat down beside me. So now I was in the middle between Aubrey and Tommy. "You aren't a pod person either. You're just paying your dues. Everybody has to and you aren't even really compromising yourself. You still have a lot of creative control over the actual music."
"Just not over my hair, clothes, make up or basically the rest of my life," I said bitterly.
"Does all that really matter if you have control over the music?" Tommy asked softly.
"I guess not," I admitted. I did have control over my music finally and I should just be okay with that. But a part of me wanted total control, I got the control freak part of my personality from my Mom.
"Are you okay?" Tommy asked placing his hand gently on my face.
"I feel like somebody is continually hitting my head with a hammer," I said closing my eyes. I loved the way it felt when he rubbed my head like this, it felt so good.
"I should have been there," Tommy said shaking his head again.
"No," I said opening my eyes. "I knew better than to go outside alone like that. I just needed to breath and going outside just felt right. I wasn't even thinking about this Josh guy following me."
"Promise me next time you won't go anywhere alone," Tommy said seriously.
"I promise Tommy," I said softly. "Believe me, I don't want my head meeting anymore walls anytime soon. Once was enough."
Tommy shook his head. "I was right though."
"About what?" I asked curiously.
"I've always said you have a hard head," Tommy said smiling. I rolled my eyes which just made him laugh. "I'm going to take Aubrey to her room now, get some sleep."
"No," I said laying my arm down on Aubrey. "Can she stay?"
"I guess," Tommy said stopping from picking her up.
"Thanks," I said before closing my eyes. It was comforting having her beside me. Hearing her take her little shallow breaths and grunting in her sleep. I just wish she would open up to me and tell me why she was afraid to talk. I wanted to be comforting for her too.
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Callie poured herself a glass of wine and then took a sip from the open bottle. It had been a long day at the studio and then with Jude getting attacked in the alley. She hadn't got a chance to tell anybody that she wouldn't be in tomorrow. She had woken up this morning smiling, not even realizing the date. January 28th. The day before her whole life had changed. She usually spent the day in a daze, her mind wrapped up in the past.
Callie never worked on the 29th of January. She didn't even get out of bed or answer the phone. She just laid in the dark with the blankets over her head and remembered the day, replaying the memory over and over.
She'd have a nightmare tonight. She only had the nightmare on the eve of the anniversary and then the actual anniversary. She was good at putting it away and never thinking about it until that one night and day. It was all she could think about and usually getting drunk dulled the memories a bit.
Callie groaned when somebody knocked on the door. She didn't feel like dealing with anybody right now. She wanted to slam this bottle of wine and then climb into bed and get through the anniversary of watching her sister die.
"Who is it?" she asked as she walked up to the door.
"It's me," Spiederman said smiling when I peeked out through the peephole. I laid my head against the door and swore to myself. Why did he have to show up tonight of all nights?
"What are you doing here?" Callie asked leaning against the door. "Oh if you are looking for Jude she's staying at Tommy's place 'til the psycho is caught."
"I know," Spied said walking into the apartment. He noticed the bottle of wine and full glass right off the bat. She was either celebrating or from the look on her face, wallowing. "Celebrating?"
Callie closed the door when Spied sat down on the couch. It was obvious she wasn't going to get rid of him that easily. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle before walking over to the couch. "Forgetting."
"Forgetting what?" Spied asked softly.
"Who am I kidding? I'll never forget," Callie said not even hearing what he said. She set the bottle down on the coffee table and covered her face with her hands. "I always get drunk today. I get plastered so I can attempt to forget. But it never works."
"Forget what?" Spied asked a little louder.
"How can I possibly forget?" Callie asked rhetorically. She stood up and began to pace. "I only made the biggest mistake of my life and I think I have the right to forget. I have to remember for the rest of my life, it's my penance."
"Callie, forget what?" Spied asked again standing up and stopping her by putting both his hands on her shoulders.
"Huh?" Callie asked staring at him like she forgot he was there, and she had. She closed her eyes. "I'm sorry Spied, I bet you didn't think you would have to deal with a crazy person when you stopped by tonight did ya? If only you had come yesterday or the day after tomorrow, I'd be fine."
"What's wrong with today?" Spied asked slowly.
Callie stared at him and contemplated what she should do. She liked him and she didn't know if she wanted him to know how selfish and stupid she had been. But she also wanted to talk about it. She needed to talk about it and with Jude gone, she didn't know who else to talk to.
So she told him. She told him about the shooting, about the running away and about how she chose not to deal every year on the anniversary. "I blame myself only because I know it's my fault. She wouldn't have been there. Hell, I shouldn't have been there."
"It's not your fault," Spied said maneuvering me so I was sitting on the couch again. "You made stupid choices yes but you were also a teenager. Teenagers make stupid decisions, ask my parents. Yours just ended in a tragedy."
"I killed their daughter," Callie said staring at him like he was an idiot. That wasn't a stupid choice, that was murder.
"You didn't pull the trigger," Spied said shaking his head. "Some punk did and I'm sure he's in jail right now for it."
"Oh he's probably out by now," Callie said softly. "He got Juvie, he was only 16 at the time."
"So what, her death is on his conscious, not yours," Spied insisted taking both her hands in his. "His day is coming because let me tell you, karma is a real bitch."
"Karma? You believe in karma?" Callie asked incredulously.
"You don't?" Spied asked surprised. "Everybody should."
"Just doesn't seem like something you'd believe in," Callie mumbled still reeling from the fact he wasn't running out the door. She always thought when she admitted to how messed up she had been that people wouldn't be able to reach the door fast enough. But this was the third person to tell her it wasn't her fault. First Lauren, then Jude and now Spied. Maybe just maybe, she needed to stop blaming herself.
"Now I know getting drunk sounds good right about now," Spied said grabbing the bottle of wine and the glass. He carried both to the kitchen and dumped them out in the sink. "But in the morning you'd regret it since we have an early studio time and being hung-over is bad for the singing."
"But I never work on…" Callie started to say.
"Correction, you use to never work on the 29th," Spied said sitting back down the on the couch. "Tomorrow you will because you shouldn't wallow in the past. She wouldn't want you to and I know I don't want you to. Besides, I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I think I kinda like you and in order for a relationship to develop, we need to spend time together." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Please don't leave," Callie said latching onto his arm before he could stand up. "I'm going to have nightmares as soon as I fall asleep and if I can put it off for another hour or two, I'd really appreciate it."
Spied slowly leaned back against the couch until his shoulder was touching hers. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. "I'll stay on one condition."
"What's that?" Callie asked confused.
"I get total control of the remote," he said making Callie smile.
"Deal," Callie said softly. She was too busy staring at him to notice what he put on the TV anyway. She had been so sure tonight was going to be terrible and had been prepared to hit rock bottom. But maybe now it wouldn't be so bad.
