Well, after waiting patiently… and then waiting some more… I've decided that you all have waited long enough for my validation beta over on Twilighted to get chapter 28 up. So, as I finished chapter 30 today (which is my minimum requirement for posting a new chapter), I decided that I really can't make you guys wait any longer :)

Also, to make up for the crazy wait, I cut this chapter longer, in fact, it's the longest so far! So, thanks for sticking with it, and we're getting kinda sorta close to 1 review for every 100 hits! Yeah! So you guys should review so we can get there! As we're approaching the 30 chapter landmark, I'm going to write a one shot- whichever wins by popular demand on comments- when we can make it to the 1 to 100 ratio! So, leave me a comment, help us get there, and register your vote!

Thank you so much to all of the new favorites and story alerts this last chapter, it really does mean a lot to me! Also, thank you to my faithful reviewers. I love you all!

Chapter 29

*_*_*_*_Edward*_*_*_*_*

She brought it up, but I should have kept my mouth shut. I am so ill equipped to have this conversation with her. The terrified scenarios going through her mind right now are more than proof of that. Why couldn't I have dodged and left well enough alone? Esme surely could have approached this much more delicately. Why did Rosalie tell her this in the middle of school for her to dwell on for a few hours and then spring on me? I am so going to kill her when we get home.

I thought we'd gotten somewhere today, and now the first ten minutes of the ride home have managed to send her spiraling toward a panic attack at breakneck speed. I have to pull myself together and think of something. Fix this, Cullen.

"Alice, that's not going to happen. Just eat something on your own and everyone will leave you alone, okay? Jasper won't let anyone hurt you. No one is planning that morbid picture in your mind, everything will be fine, I promise."

"Unless I don't eat."

She calls me on the exception to my assurance, but I can't leave that image in her mind. "Even if you don't. We'll help you figure this out."

"And if I don't want to figure this out?" She narrows her eyes at me, daring me to lie to her.

"Then we'll help you figure it out enough that you're not on the verge of starving to death, and then you won't have to."

"I need this." I'm not sure if I heard the whisper out loud, or if she only admitted it in her mind.

"Why?"

Her mind is silent, my intrusion chasing away the musings in her head. She doesn't want me to know, so she keeps her mind there.

"Alice, give me something. I want to understand, try me."

Nothing. Whatever this is to her, it's important. I'm realizing now that her focus on methods may have been an attempt to mask this from me the whole time. She probably could have decided what and how to hide nearly automatically by now, the counting and figuring was just a show for me, a distraction. She doesn't want me to know why, which is the strangest part. I wonder if she doesn't really know either, and she's afraid of what she'll find if she opens her mind and shows me.

"We can work this out, but you need to give me something to work with. We can't exactly send you off to counseling, so we're it. Tell me why I need to be on your side on this."

The images begin to surface slowly, like bubbles rising to the surface, showing themselves, and then disappearing. I see a small dark room with a single door as the only interruption of the solid wall on any side. The door has a small mail slat in it, and a small bowl is being pushed through it. It teeters for a moment on the ridge before falling onto the dirty ground. I can feel the absolute despair associated with this memory.

Next I see a little girl with dark hair walking hand in hand with a man, maybe her father? Although the first is clearly related, I don't see anything significant about this one. She looks up at him and smiles, but he doesn't return the gesture.

Following immediately is a picture through a round gilded mirror, probably at a vanity as she's sitting in front of it. Her cheeks are light pink and fuller, not as sunken as they look now and her hair is longer. Her skin is ivory, rather than her current pale-translucent, and her body is a much healthier shape. She looks older, a lot older, but her eyes are bright red. I start a little at the image, nearly swerving the car across the median in my distraction.

She immediately misreads my distraction and her mind goes blank. She thinks I'm responding to her figure, either with revulsion or… inappropriate fascination, and I need to correct her quickly before she shuts me out forever.

"It's not that, Alice. It's your eyes, they were red. I didn't even know if that was possible for you, you can feed off of humans?"

"Yes. But I don't."

This doesn't really clarify the red in her eyes in that picture, but she brings it back carefully, watching me for any outward response. Maybe she fed of off humans when she was younger? I carefully keep my eyes on the road, making a show of not reacting to anything else she shows me.

The room with the mirror is not well lit, but I see a figure emerge from the shadows. The build is male but the features are clouded. He comes to stand behind her and I feel her cringe. Doesn't whoever that is know not to stand behind her? Maybe she didn't used to mind. He reaches forward, his hand resting on her thigh and his face buried in her neck. She doesn't move, just continues to stare blankly into the mirror.

That one was a bit disturbing; I still don't know what she's trying to tell me. I don't understand what she's showing me, but she's talking about it, well, kind of, and this is more than we've gotten from her before. Rose's theories are good, but hearing it from her is better.

She's young again and a woman is helping her dress. She's pulling a dress over the child's, Alice's, head, but the back won't fasten; it's too small for her. The woman sighs visibly, looking at the fasters on the back of the offending garment as if willing them to meet, before turning and pulling out another dress. The room shifts and now we're looking out a crack in the door, but the line of vision is only a few feet off the ground. A different man than the one in her earlier memory sits with the woman at a table. I hear the sentiment; they can't afford the clothing their daughter is outgrowing, and she's growing faster than seems possible.

I wonder if she grew faster than a human, Jasper seems to think that she wasn't all the way human even before she was bitten. Did that make her self-conscious?

The images keep coming, but I don't understand most of them. She's showing me her insecurities, but so little of it makes sense to me that I feel as if I truly know nothing. Even with the ability to read her mind, and her laying it out for me, I'm missing a lot of what I should be able to get from this. I wonder if it would make more sense to Jasper, has she explained any of this to him? The only thing I solidly understand about the parade of images is how deep this really is. If at all possible, we can't take this from her. For all of the reasons I understood and all of the ones I missed, this is really important. We're going to have to try anything else to convince her, because taking the decision out of her hands is going to be disastrous. I guess, in the end, that's probably all she needed me to get out of all of that, so I understand. As I turn into the driveway she speaks out loud for the first time in the trip.

"You won't tell him, will you?"

"Tell him what?" I'm assuming the "him" in question is Jasper, although I don't think I understood enough of what I saw to be able to tell him about it anyway.

"What I showed you."

"That you showed me or what you showed me? Will you tell him that we talked about it?"

She looks down, embarrassed about something that I can't get from her thoughts. "Maybe. Just please don't tell him."

We pull into the garage and I get her door before pulling her backpack out of the back seat and throwing it over my shoulder, followed by my much lighter bag. All of those books are going to break her back. I take a step toward the door before I feel the lightest touch on my back. I turn around slowly to find Alice, her arm still outstretched, a shocked expression on her face that probably mirrors mine. She just purposely touched me, but so far she seems okay. She's waiting for something bad to happen, but when the flashback doesn't come, she asks again, "You won't tell him, right?"

I forgot that I didn't answer her, but I would have rather not. I want her to tell Jasper about the whole thing so I don't have to keep it from him, but it isn't my decision in the end. "No, I won't. But you should."

We share a defiant look that borders, for a moment, on a glaring, each willing the other to give in, but in the end I turn back and enter the house. I know that most of the house heard our little exchange, but I hope that Jasper will have the good sense to wait until later to ask her about it.

I hear from Esme that Rose and Emmett arrived home over twenty minutes ago and she was starting to worry, although Jasper had been pacing the living room for over an hour. I also don't hear Emmett or Rose in the house; they must have gone off somewhere.

He lets her get through the door and enter the living room before moving toward her, hovering as if unsure if he is allowed to touch her.

"How was your first day, Alice?" Esme is almost as anxious as Jasper to hear how things went. Esme hadn't thought that Alice would make it through the whole day her first day; she'd assumed that we would gradually work her into the routine, yet here she is. Although I'm still a bit frustrated with her for asking me not to tell Jasper about our conversation, I can't help but be proud of her that she made it. I think there was a lot of progress today and I hope she sees that too.

"It was alright. We had some mishaps, but nothing serious."

"Carlisle called earlier; he said he heard from the school about you getting hurt, is everything alright?"

Jasper was clearly not privy to that bit of information, because hearing it now he sends a quick glare toward Esme and begins indiscreetly checking Alice for injury.

"Jasper, stop. I'm fine, I heal fast. I ran into a teacher and he knocked me down, but Edward had been trying to get out of my way so I wouldn't have to touch him and so he didn't have time to catch me and still look human. Everything was fine, he brought me to the office and I was already all healed up by then anyway so we went to class. Everything was fine."

Everyone looks a bit surprised at the amount of information she willingly shared out loud, but she recovers quickly.

"Well, how about we all sit down and you can tell us all about your day?" Esme offers. We all take a few steps, Alice quickly taking her up on her offer and sitting down in her circular chair. Jasper stands beside her chair, leaning against the wall. He stays carefully in her sight, but I can tell he's just as much trying to keep her in his sight. He worried about her today and he's glad to have her back.

*_*_*_*_Jasper*_*_*_*_*

She's home and she's safe. Everything else can be pardoned, although I'm still a little annoyed with Edward for letting her fall. With minimal prodding from Esme and an occasional small addition from Edward, we hear about her whole day.

I wonder if she's feeling so chatty because she's spent the day around humans. I imagine she probably didn't talk much today, but there was probably lots of things she wanted to say then that she couldn't, so maybe this house has become relatively more safe to her after spending the day away. I'm glad to see that she seems to be opening up more, especially after such a long day, it's a good sign.

I am in no mood to talk, but hearing her go on about her day is calming my nerves. As she begins her story, I start up a diagnostic of her mental, physical and emotional state. If not for my gift I would probably be worse than useless at the last category, after so long trying to turn it off with Maria. It seems nature saw fit to ensure that my willfully disregarded aptitude as a human for reading people came with me to this life, rather I like it or not. Although it only made me miserable with her, it comes in handy now.

I can still smell the slightest tinge of her blood, but I can tell by the mixed in overpowering scent of soap that she'd tried to wash it off, so it must be from earlier. Other than that, she seems to be in fine physical condition. The only mark visible on her skin is the scar on her neck, and that one was clearly my doing, not a school mishap. Mentally she seems better than ever. She's speaking, and more than one word answers to questions. She seems to have fared well today out with the humans; it probably does her good to get out and socialize with others who are less threatening than us. Emotionally she is a little all over, but that's probably a good sign too. Since I've met her, her emotions have strayed very little from a limited spectrum: fear, pain, shame and resignation that, I anticipate, masquerades as the forerunner of hope. Today, her emotions are much shorter term, and I gage this change to be healthy. Not everything is tied into one's entire existence, some things just happen on a certain day and that's all there is to them. Sometimes events are just not that significant. Her newfound divorce of insignificant events from broad, overarching emotions seems like forward progress. I can't know for sure, after all I've hardly studied these things, but I hope I'm right. I can only hope that school continues to have this effect on her, as it will probably be slowly driving me mad worrying and analyzing it.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive this every day. When I was with Maria, I knew that I couldn't let anything valuable to me out of my sight. I remember there was one of the newborns; she was weaker than the rest. I never knew her name, because I never took time to learn any of their names. She was small, really only a child, and she often wasn't able to eat because of the others. I killed for her, just once, and fed her when it wasn't time. The next day she was gone. No explanation was given, but I knew what had happened. Maria found out, and her time was up before schedule.

When Peter and I began to form our alliance, I knew that the second I left him she would find an excuse to have him killed, too. She was vengeful like that, and she made sure that I had no dedication stronger than to her. So he came with me. I named him my right hand man, and he helped me keep the others in line, but more than anything he stayed there so I could make sure she didn't get to him. Unless I was with her, he was with me. I knew I was too valuable to her to risk seriously harming me, so I kept myself between my almost friend and my ruthless master.

Although I know in my head that Alice is going to a building full of harmless humans, every time she's out of my sight I wonder if she'll still be alive the next time I see her. After that first girl, there were very few things I cared about enough to defend from her. Almost none, in fact, until Peter. Even after him, there was nothing else. He left for Charlotte, and I never understood that kind of devotion; until Alice. Now, it makes perfect sense. I can't imagine my tiny, frail Alice in that hell, but if I had met here there, if she had been Maria's, I would have done anything to get her away. Peter risked his life to get her out alive, but I know I'd do the same if Alice would have been there.

I don't know if Maria is still out there somewhere, but she will never get anywhere near my Alice. I can't imagine her living like that, killing to survive a few months before being sent to her death for a shallow cause she knew nothing of. The worst part about the picture is seeing myself, the dealer of death when the time came, sending them blindly into their graves for a victory that will be reversed within the month. When she chose me, she reassigned changing the newborns to me as well, and I felt every moment of fear as they changed; the despair as they lay dying, the desperation as they awoke, and then the all eclipsing blood lust that burned away the last of their humanity. I would have felt all of the emotions I've elicited from Alice since I met her on a much more catastrophic scale. I wouldn't have survived it.

I'm pulled back from my depressing train of thought by Alice's voice raised, I quickly tune back into the conversation to find that she's only retelling a particularly close call in the hallway of nearly running into someone else. Although again annoyed at Edward, I'm less worried about her story than my original assumption that she was in trouble.

I try to pull myself back to the present. That Jasper isn't here with Alice, this one is different, or at least is trying to be. I can't quite convince myself it's entirely true, but I can see that some things have certainly changed, and that gives me hope. Maybe someday I can be the man she needs me to be.

As she finishes her retelling, I realize that I still know almost nothing about her day. I'll have to ask Edward to fill me in on what I missed later, when she falls asleep. Maybe I'll ask him to go hunt with me, it's been long enough. Alice's fear last time I returned is more than enough incentive to try harder to adopt their lifestyle; maybe having Edward along telling me about Alice's school day would help me keep focused.

I'm still a little thrown by what I've seen today, the odd path of the nomads. I suppose any path would look odd, were our kind taking it. I imagine it's probably perfectly normal, like anything else is until you start looking too far into it. That thought brings me back to the present after a quick apologetic glance at Esme, speaking of reading too far into innocent things.

Although I feel properly chastised for looking into nothing, I'm still going to ask Alice to stick close in the next few days. It would be just our luck that she would be wandering around alone in the woods when they pass through and become a snack… or a diversion… or a pet. I need to pull myself back from this train of thought now before I level the city with the rage I feel like projecting. I'll keep her close, and everything will be fine. I'll talk to her tonight, everything is alright. She's here with me again, safe for the moment.

*_*_*_*_Alice*_*_*_*_*_*

After our animated retelling of every moment of the day, the family falls into their own routines. I reach blindly into my bag and pull out a book, there are so many to choose from that it really doesn't matter which one my hand falls on first. It's just my luck, however, when I retrieve my math book, the subject that makes the least sense to me right now. I pull out my notebook too, deciding that I'll read as far as we are and then try to make some sense of the problems assigned for tomorrow.

Edward has disappeared somewhere upstairs, and although I'd like to think he's busy doing homework, I bet he finished anything he needed to do in the spare seconds in class. I doubt this sort of thing takes him long. Although I imagine he didn't go far, having him out of the room gives me the illusion of being able to think without his supervision, as even if he can still hear me, I can't see his reaction. Unfortunately I don't really have time for too much enjoyment of my unsupervised mind, as I really do need to figure this school stuff out. Jasper has moved from his post against the wall to sitting at the couch to my right, his posture careful and measured. He's hovered pretty close since I got home, I can't help but notice, but he's hardly said a word to me at any point. Now he just sits there, frowning into a book nearly as thick as the one on my lap but much older looking. I can't read the cover, so I give up wondering for the moment.

I have to make myself look down at the first real page of information in this book, about fifteen pages into it, but I'm having a hard time concentrating knowing that no one else in the house has to suffer through this horrendous educational material that I'm trying to figure out.

Emmett and Rosalie arrived before us, I assume, but I haven't seen them since we came in. They weren't at the play by play of my day for Jasper and Esme, probably because they've heard most of it or were there. I think Edward and Emmett have classes close to one another at the end of the day, I imagine they had a moment to chat around classes.

I glance down at the work again, resigned to try to focus. Math, who really writes these textbooks, anyway? Who decided that words are supposed to describe relationships in numbers?

"Alice, are you alright?"

I didn't realize my distain for this subject was so clearly written across my features, but Jasper seems to have caught on easily enough; too perceptive for his own good, in my opinion.

"Fine," I huff irritably. There is no way this stuff is happening tonight, no matter how convinced I try to be that it will. Maybe one of the other subjects, but not this one, not yet. Usually I tend to just get things, and now, trying to figure this out on my own feels like I'm trying to put together a puzzle, but I was expected to bring half of the pieces with me and I don't have them. The basic concepts make perfect sense, but I'm missing so much in the middle, between them and this, that it doesn't make sense. I slam the book shut, hearing it close with a satisfying thwack and blindly chose another book.

This one is my literature book, this I can do. The best part about this one is that I don't have to catch up. I can simply read the story that we're beginning without having to cover everything they've been through this year. I learned in my short hour in English that the class has been split into sections, and the grammar one finished before break, starting literature right when I jumped in. I can read stories and ramble about them on paper, of that I'm sure. I read through the short assignment quickly, feeling satisfied that I've gotten something measurable accomplished.

I fish for the next book, and find the thick government book. My thoughts wander for a moment to the teacher; I think I even missed his name in my distress over first laying eyes on him. I know Edward heard me begin to freak out; even before hearing my mind I'm sure he registered the immediate changes in my body as I suddenly struggled for breath. I hadn't been expecting a man, my previous teachers being female, and as Edward was blocking my view, I especially hadn't expected a man that close to me when Edward moved from between us. He wasn't indecently near by any means, simply much closer than I allow strange men, and I was surprised.

I had to give both of them credit though, they managed to recover quickly and gracefully, at least as much as was possible given my reaction. Before I even realized what I was doing, I reached for Edward. I knew, even in that moment, that I might regret the decision, but at the time he seemed safer than the unidentified male who just appeared in my vision. Surprisingly, that turned out to be a good decision. I could almost see my shocked and frightened expression mirrored back in the teacher's eyes as they widened, taking in my obvious terror in the first second and then taking a step away to put more space between us in the next. My hand on Edward's arm steadied me, strangely enough, and with my newfound space I was able to give him a half nod and scurry to the seat he indicated. Luckily, Edward had been standing between me and the rest of the class when he stepped back, meaning that most of them had missed my little episode; only seeing the teacher's strange reaction. Although still mortified, I was thankful for small miracles and tried to focus the rest of class.

I come back to the present to find Jasper staring at me with an odd expression on his face. I can't control the immediate blush at being caught drifting off, probably again.

"Where did you go?" He asks, his tone softer than I'm used to hearing from him.

"Sorry. I was just remembering something from earlier. I have to focus, though." The last bit was probably about as much for me as him, I needed to remind myself that I didn't have time for thinking.

"You were upset."

"The teacher in this class startled me a little. He didn't do anything wrong, I just didn't expect him."

His eyes darken a little, and he seems to be searching out any hidden meaning behind my words. I shoot him my best everything-is-fine smile, and although I'm not sure he buys it completely, he turns back to his own book.

I do my best to focus, reigning myself back into the dusty material for what seems like the millionth time already. I don't know how humans make it through this sort of drudgery, much less my new ethereal family.

I open up the government book and my notebook to the beginning of the new chapter assigned, and dutifully copied down each of the bolded words along with a contextual definition. It's mindless, but that is a relief compared to the alternative.

I glance through my nearly meaningless notes from chemistry and decide that one will have to wait for another day as well. There aren't any assignments due yet, so I can get away with putting it off another day. I think slowly through the hours, trying to figure out what I have left: chemistry, English, government, history. I hadn't looked over my history notes yet. There wasn't any assignment, but I skim the chapter she's lecturing on anyway, to make sure I'm familiar with the material.

Satisfied, I put that book aside too. The last two classes were home economics and math, and I've already dismissed math. There wasn't much to look over for the other class, I have a decent idea how to keep a house, having been successfully living alone and keeping up good appearances for decades.

So, after only a few hours of sitting here in my corner chair, I feel much more prepared for this 'school' thing. Admittedly, I won't exactly be right on the same page as everyone else in math and science, but I'll make sure to get Edward's help on any assignments that come up and I should be caught up in no time.

I gather up the sprawling collection of books surrounding my little corner chair and jam them back into my bag, barely convincing the zipper to close.

"Finished?"

I start slightly in surprise at his voice. I'd hardly remembered Jasper was still here with me, and that thought startles me. How could I forget the male vampire a mere feet away from me, no matter how distracted I was? My guard is slipping, and I don't like it. I know that I want to be able to trust them, but I don't think I'm ready to give up my decades of built up defenses quite yet. I take one more steadying breath and do my best to respond normally.

"Yes."

He closes his book and sets it beside him on the couch. "Anything on your agenda for the evening, Miss Cullen?" His voice drops to a quiet, but playful tone and I don't know what to do with the new inflection. I'm also not entirely sure about the choice of title, as I'm still getting used to the name myself. I almost look over my shoulder for one of the others before I realize that he is talking to me. Alice Cullen, the name still sounds foreign in my mind. I feel a vision start to tug on the edge of my consciousness, but I push it away quickly. It never used to be this easy to ignore, but after years of practice I think I've managed to tame it a little. I still have a healthy distain for the images that appear in my mind, given that the first still haunts me to this day. I know that once I learn something from them I can't unlearn it, even if it never becomes reality, like the first one. I think it's worth living without my gift to not have to take the chance of what I might see, my eyes directly by the fickle hands of fate.

I search for a surname to use in my response and realize that I've only heard his last name in a vision. After the first few visions I'd done my best to distract myself whenever my mind showed Jasper with the woman, but this one had gotten past before I'd figured out where it was going. Major Whitlock, she'd called him, but her voice spoke seduction rather than direction. That particular vision is a little too close in context for me to feel comfortable using the information. I do my best to draw myself back quickly, before he figures out my train of thought by my emotions.

"No, I don't think so. Do you have plans for us?"

He studies me quizzically, but doesn't respond immediately. Was my response somehow unexpected? I admit that my mind had been elsewhere, but I didn't think I'd said anything unusual. Maybe he expected me to have plans? Or maybe he has an idea of where my mind went, after all?

"Not really. So school wasn't so bad?"

"Well, some of it was, but overall it wasn't terrible. I survived just fine." I don't think that's what he actually wanted to know, so I wait patiently for him to get around to what he actually wants to talk about. I have no real trouble talking to him these days, even though I still struggle a little with the other males of the household.

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about." I'm a little afraid that he's somehow picked up on Edward and I's car conversation already or heard something from Rosalie or Carlisle, but I also need to be careful not to think about it too much and tip him off with my emotions if he doesn't know.

"Okay, what's on your mind?" I offer him my best attentive smile, hoping that whatever this is isn't going to be bad. I haven't had many serious conversations in my life and of those few none of them have been good news.

"I was looking over some information Carlisle left for me today. He's been watching some nomadic vampires across the border for a while now. It was really just a precaution, just in case they came this way. Well, near as I can tell, they are headed directly for us. They're not far now, a few more days at the longest. I don't know what state of mind they'll arrive in, but I doubt they'll pass right by without stopping in. It would be best if you had as little contact with them as possible if they come, as you appear close enough to human to feasibly be a breach of our nondisclosure laws. Also, it's in vampire instincts to be territorial, and it's likely that if they saw your… eccentricities, they may want you for themselves. So, as we expect them soon, you should be fine at the house. I imagine the overwhelming number and might of this group will sway any possible interest from you if you're out of sight, but we can't take the chance of them happening upon you outside of these four walls. It would be best if you didn't leave the house other than to go to and from school for the next few days, just until they pass through."

I have no idea why he thought that would be so serious, but maybe the introduction only sounded grave in my mind. Sure, I'm not a fan of being stuck anywhere, even in this beautiful house, but given the choice between the possibly untrustworthy but probably well meaning Cullen men and strange vampires with no such compulsions; I think I'm fine with staying home. I'm still trying on school, but I think it will work, and at the least it will give me a chance to get out of the house, as Jasper has already declared it an exception. I should be safe there with half of the others coming along with me. They might not be right beside me the whole time, but at least they're easily within range if anything goes wrong. I wonder if it bothers Jasper that he doesn't get to be there too. Surely he must get bored here, left to his own devices?

I glance up at Jasper and notice with some surprise his growing discomfort. Have I done something to upset him? It is at this moment that I realize that he's probably waiting for a response, and is taking my silence and the emotions of my thoughts as a no.

"Um, yes, that should be fine." I try to cover up my ever wandering thoughts with my sunshine smile, the brightest one I've got. I don't usually use it, but more often than not it works. I see the tension melt away from his stance, so I know that it's worked its charm again. I really should use that more often; if only I were still comfortable drawing attention to myself to get what I want.

So, what's the verdict? Like it? Not so much? Did Edward handle the conversation right?
Don't forget! Help me reach my silly goal and I'll give you a oneshot in any perspective!

Love you all!

Manda