CHAPTER 28
Emma stopped at her parents and looked through her mother's closet to see if she could find something to wear to a party. She didn't want to show up the way she had been working all day. Especially since she had been out getting dirty trying to round up Pongo. She brought the twins upstairs with her and her Mom since David was still watching over Henry. Snow was more than thrilled to spend time with them.
She and Snow were different sizes and body types. Not to mention they had completely different tastes. She sighed and resigned herself to taking a shower and rustling around for some of her old clothes. She didn't want to run home in case Henry wanted to know what she was doing or where she was going. She made a mental note to bring over some extra clothing just in case.
She grabbed the kids up and headed to the apartment that Granny and Ruby shared after one more quick stop along the way. She was still upset that she had had no idea that Granny had been in the hospital. She knew Henry took up almost all of her free time but still. No wonder all of her friends had left her.
Regina let them in and kissed her girls. "I laid you out some clothes on the bed. Go get washed up and changed," she looked over at Emma and raised her eyebrows. "Maybe Emma won't mind helping you all with your hair?"
Emma shook herself. She had realized that this was the first time she and Regina had been together in a casual setting in almost 8 years. "Hmm… yeah…. Sure."
Regina pointed the way and Emma helped the girls get dressed and did their hair. She pulled out her phone and snapped a couple of pics. Tears came to her eyes as she realized her girls were almost 8 years old and this was the first time she was able to help them in any real way. It was weird being thankful for something that also made her furious.
Once they had examined themselves and had given their full approval, they joined the rest of the party.
Or rather "family" as they all seemed to refer to one another. All of the men were Uncle and all of the women were Aunty. Emma felt a little put out that out of everyone there, she was the outsider. Even Belle and Rumple seemed more at home with her kids than she did.
Emma walked over to Granny and pulled out a small card with a tiny bear attached to it. "I'm glad you're getting better."
Granny smiled as she looked from the gift to Emma. "Emma, thank you. I feel fit as a fiddle. But these two here keep throwing a fit everytime I even try to stand up. I'm old, but I'm not dead yet."
"I heard that," Regina walked over to Granny handing her and Emma each a drink. "That's nonalcoholic by the way."
Granny grimaced but accepted it anyway. "Child I lived my entire life without being this coddled. I've got plenty of more years left in me. No small panic attack is going to keep me down."
Regina threw her arms around Granny and kissed her cheek. "But we want you to be healthy for those years that you've got left. And that wasn't a small panic attack. You had a full blown heart attack."
Granny waved her away dismissively and then returned the kiss. The two of them smiled at one another. Emma watched the easy affection between the two and was still confused as to how it came about.
The last she knew, Regina had no friends in this town besides her. She pushed down her anger over everyone being involved in this little secret club but her. She wanted to stay in the present and enjoy herself as much as she could. She actually had no friends in this town either. Henry took all of her time and energy. She'd had lovers. And even gone out on some dates. But her last relationship had ended over a year ago. She hadn't even been out the house just for the fun of it since then.
She knew that due to Henry's mental state, the entire family had to cater their lives around his moods. She and David took the brunt of it. And although she could never thank her Dad enough, she felt so bad about how much he ended up having to be away from his wife and kids because of the two of them.
Suddenly the backyard patio door opened. "Dinner's ready."
Emma frowned at Mr. Perfect. She had been chatting away with Archie with her daughter Alexis on her lap. She was just starting to loosen up and let the entire weight of the Henry situation drop off her shoulders. She had felt the tension she carried with her everywhere loosen up. Now the tension was back. Leave it to him to ruin every good moment.
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The dinner was actually a hit. Emma couldn't remember the last time she had been able to just let go and just enjoy everything and everyone around her. She understood now why they called themselves a family.
But she still got that outsider feeling that she had as a child sitting around a table with a family and their bio kids, knowing that she was their charity case or worse. Just a paycheck.
Emma had always been impressed with Regina's social skills. She herself was goofy and awkward even in the best of circumstances. But the times that they would invite the Charmings over for dinner, Regina always had a graceful way of taking command and in keeping the conversation flowing so that no one was ever left out. Even with her and Snow throwing veiled and not so veiled barbs at one another, the dinner was still entertaining and Regina never allowed it to be awkward.
After dinner, Emma sat outside letting the warm wind blow over her. She was completely surprised when the patio door opened and Regina came out to join her.
She sat in the chair next to Emma's. She held her face up to the sky letting the dying sunlight and warm wind blow across her. She was still the most beautiful sight Emma had ever laid eyes on.
She turned to Emma and inhaled, then smiled. "I had forgotten that smell. It's amazing."
Emma knew what she meant. In the low winds like this, they could smell the citrus trees blowing in their perfume. It covered the fish smell that was usually coming in from the docks. Evenings like this, she and Regina would just take long walks, hand in hand and talk long into the middle of the night. Unless Henry was around. Then he'd throw a tantrum and force Emma to stay with him until he calmed down. She hated herself for all those lost moments.
Regina had skillfully achieved keeping the room between the two of them the entire night. Or so it had felt to Emma. They hadn't had a single moment alone the entire night. Now it was just the two of them for the first time in a long time.
Emma became disappointed when she sat studying her. She was trying to see cracks or signs of unhappiness. They weren't there. She had noted that Regina's haunted look had disappeared. She was upset that it wasn't her who had chased away the shadows.
Regina looked over and noticed the frown on Emma's face. "What's wrong?"
Emma started. "Hmm? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking," Emma looked through the patio doors at her girls dancing around and being silly with their family. "I was thinking that tonight was the first night I've ever been able to do things like their hair and helping them get dressed." She looked at Regina intensely. "I want more."
Regina puckered her lips and averted her face. "What exactly does that mean?"
Emma didn't want this to turn into a fighting match. She knew she had to be careful. Her girls were worth it. She pushed her personal feelings of hurt, anger, and pain away. Just this once, she wanted to be selfish and not have to worry about Henry. She just wanted a small sliver of peace and happiness.
"I was thinking," Regina raised her eyebrows and threw her a sardonic smile. Emma ignored her, "I talked to Neal earlier. He said he planned to drive down this weekend. If he does – if all goes well – I was thinking, maybe I could take the girls for a weekend. We'd maybe drive out of town. Get a hotel room. Stay for a few days."
At the frown forming on Regina's face, she reached out and grabbed her hand. "I agree. I would never bring them around Henry. Not right now – while he's -," Emma shook her head and rubbed her eye with the palm of her free hand. Emma moistened her lips and took a deep breath, "I want to put them to bed at night. I want to get them up and get them dressed and ready for the day. I want to send them to brush their teeth and eat their vegetables. Like a real Mom. I want to spend the day with my girls. I think I deserve that. You owe me that." She looked at Regina daring her to deny it.
Regina sat staring at their hands. She hadn't missed the fact that Emma had intertwined their fingers and seemed reluctant to let them go. And she heard what Emma was saying. She knew that it was true. But she still had concerns. "Emma, I don't want them around him under any circumstances."
"Give me credit Regina. I know that! I agree. It is what's best. But Neal will be here to keep Henry occupied. For some reason, he completely hero worships him even though he rarely sees him. And we'll be in a completely different town. I can handle it. I wouldn't do anything to put my kids in any danger."
Regina gave a small, almost imperceptible nod. Emma grinned her victory.
Emma didn't want to let go of Regina's hand. She was enjoying the feel of her small, soft hand inside of hers. For a few seconds, she wanted to keep pretending that things were still okay with the two of them. And Regina hadn't taken her hand back either. Emma ran her thumb across Regina's fingers.
The two of them sat quietly just taking in the view and the breeze. Emma was irritated when Ruby came out. She was carrying a sleepy Dalli in her arms. Regina withdrew her hand from hers as she stood and took her from her.
"She was asking for you."
Regina kissed her on her head while rocking her. "My li'l Dalli. Mummy loves you so much. Come on moppet. Someone needs to get to bed," she looked over at Emma, "I'll send the girls out to say goodnight. We can talk later about the weekend."
Regina walked inside leaving Ruby and Emma alone. Ruby took the seat that Regina had left unoccupied.
"Did you have fun tonight?" Ruby asked Emma. She had missed her as a friend but she had gained a lot of family that she wouldn't trade for the world.
Emma thought it over. Aside from having to put up with Mr. Perfect and his damned beautiful face and accent it was a good night. "I really did. I don't get to do this much anymore – since Henry."
Ruby nodded, "I'm sure it's been hard. I can't even imagine."
"No you can't," Emma was still a little angry at the entire situation. She wanted to speak with Ruby more and clear the air but her girls came out and jumped into her lap.
"Mommy!" Emma held them to her and inhaled their scent. It was a mixture of Regina's fresh apple scent and something else all their own. That childhood scent that kids have mixed with children's shampoo. She could breathe that scent all day.
"Guess what?" she pulled back and waited to make sure she had built up the girls' excitement. "Mommy's taking you all on a trip! How about that?"
"Where are we going?" Zoe asked with a grin on her face.
"Hmm… I think I'll leave that as a surprise," Emma told her then stuck out her tongue at her.
Xisi looked worried. "Is Mummy coming with us?"
Emma was aware that out of the two Alexis seemed to have the strongest attachment to Regina. She knew they both loved her and valued being with her. But Alexis was a total Mummy's girl. "No, kid. It'll just be us. But I promise we won't go far. It'll be fun. And we'll talk to Mummy everyday," Emma tickled her and hoped that it wouldn't be a problem.
Jax knocked on the patio glass and gestured inside. Emma glared at him and would've given him the finger if not for her girls. "Mommy will see you tomorrow. I love you!" she kissed and hugged them both.
"Love you too Mommy," the girls said in unison as they kissed and hugged her back. Then they turned to their Aunt Ruby and repeated their goodbyes. They left and Emma sighed. She knew she had to get used to seeing that. That didn't mean she liked it.
"I was the one who found her."
Emma shook herself, "What?"
"I watched Henry jump on his bike and ride away. I heard her screaming and crying. I found her on the floor."
Emma's mind flitted back to the video. She shuddered. She moistened her lips, "I – I," she looked down at her hands and took a breath before continuing. "I'm glad you were there for her. I just don't like that everyone felt I didn't have a right to know about it."
Ruby sat up and leaned toward Emma. "Emma she made us swear not to tell you anything. And she made us swear not to say a word about what Henry had done. I know you're upset and angry but – you have to understand – I think she did it for you as much as for Henry."
Emma began jiggling her leg. "How in the hell is me not knowing any of this for me?" Emma gestured towards the room that was still full of 'family' that she wasn't apart of. "I lost 8 years with my kids. What part of that is for me?" she sneered.
Ruby stared out at the view gathering her thoughts. The sun was setting and there were brilliant rays of orange, purple, red and yellow clashing in the sky. "She didn't want anyone to know about Henry because she couldn't face what had happened herself. But she knew that she couldn't stay here. Those were some of the first words she said when she was healing. But Henry was 12. And he needed someone. And you worked so hard to have him anyway. It all fell into place."
Tears were pouring down Emma's face. "Nothing fell into place. Do you have any idea what I've been through? I lost the person that I loved most in the world. And I have to live knowing that my own son - ," Emma shook her head and wiped her face with the palms of her hands.
"I love Henry. I will always love him. And I have to live my life knowing what he's done. And what I've done. I know I have blame in this. Don't think I don't. But my girls – ," Emma looked at Ruby with eyes filled with pain. "I don't think I've done anything to deserve that."
Emma's voice cracked, "I didn't stay here to make Regina's life miserable. I stayed for my son. I couldn't give him up twice. It still hurts me everyday to think of everything I've missed with him. Maybe he wouldn't be - ," Emma's voice was so thick with emotion she could barely get her next words out. She shook her head, her body trembling, "And to think that everyone I trust and cared about was keeping me away from my own daughters. I would never have done this to any of you. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough in your eyes to be their Mom. Or to take care of them or protect them. Or Regina. But I think I deserved at least that simple courtesy of being told the truth." Emma bolted and ran inside. She headed straight out the door and to her car.
Ruby caught her as she leaned on her car trying to control her tears. "Emma - ," Ruby wrapped her arms tight around Emma.
Emma tried pushing her away. But there was no combatting the werewolf's strength. She gave in and let loose a floodgate of pain she had been carrying around inside her for the past 8 years. She cried for herself, Henry, Regina, and even her daughters. She clung to Ruby as her tears cascaded down. They stood that way for a long time.
Eventually Emma was spent and she allowed Ruby to guide her back into the house. She had no more energy at all. She kept her face buried in Ruby's shoulder as they re-entered the apartment and Ruby took her to the same room that Regina had once occupied. She allowed Ruby to remove her shoes and wrap her in a blanket. Then Ruby climbed into bed behind and held her as she had the first peaceful night's sleep since her last night spent with her arms wrapped around Regina.
