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Chapter 29

Jane

I stood in front of the large window blankly staring at my reflection in the pristine glass. I was outfitted in yet another Alice contraption, this time a fluttery pastel yellow dress that skimmed just above my knees with a sleeveless design that left my arms bare. My mind had been too preoccupied to really be irritated about standing in as her mannequin once again.

I was trying my best to tune out the steady, grave voices of Carlisle and the Denali coven downstairs. I just got a vague gist that he was explaining to them that I was no threat.

Their conversation blurred out of my mind like so much static as I concentrated on my own personal dilemma.

I glided my hands slowly down my skin. My fingers trailed a path down my face, my chest, my breasts over the stretchy cloth, vainly seeking to emulate the way he'd touched me. I thought that the most major change in all my existence would have been my shocking transformation into a vampire, into the Volturi. But here I was, two hundred years later, experiencing another change again. Not such a wildly supernatural change from human to vampire but something just as powerful in its own right.

A change of heart.

A change from being completely dispassionate to feeling such an influx of all-consuming emotions. A change that was far more pleasurable to feel compared to the brief spurts of twisted elation I used to feel when implementing my power.

These changes I felt now could be life changing...if I allowed them to be.

I knew I couldn't go back to my cold, clinical, emotionless existence as easily as I had thought. Not after having experienced being with Seth.

But if it weren't for Aro, I would not be here right now to experience this with him.

That I'd lived this long without knowing this kind of love was in itself a real tragedy. But the question was, could I so boldly claim this happily ever after? And would this be happily ever after for him? Didn't he deserve better than what he could have with me? Resoundingly yes. He deserved so much better...

Then there was the fact that Aro would not let me go. I was beholden to an ancient vow but that was just a shell for the true fact that I was actually beholden to serve Aro for all time. This was a conundrum that I had no readily available solution to nor did I see any forthcoming in the foreseeable future. I had been actually tempted to ask Alice but I was too afraid of what she might have said.

Suddenly I felt the pressing need to just talk to someone about my worries. Someone besides Seth who would seek any way to reassure me. Someone who would offer sound, unbiased opinions on the best course of action to take.

Strangely Bella was the one I thought of. There was no longer any antagonism between us and in the past few days we had actually commiserated about being Alice's 'dolls' for her fashion exploits. Besides that, I sensed she wanted to impart her opinion on my relationship with Seth but held back, not wanting to pry. And I wholeheartedly agreed with her no interference policy. But right now, I just needed someone to talk to.

The door opened slightly. I turned, not really surprised to see Bella peeking through.

"I guess Edward's mind reading ability really becomes useful at times." I said wryly.

She smiled slightly.

"Do you want to...talk about it?"

I hesitated for a few moments, mostly because I wanted to say no if only not to appear so vulnerable. Yet I found myself nodding affirmatively.

"Yes. Yes I do."


We walked out to the back of the house, avoiding the living area where the Denali coven still lingered. In companionable silence, we made our way a little distance into the forest. Bella came to a stop and turned to me.

"No one should be able to hear us out here."

I took a deep breath, not sure where to start. I was so accustomed to sounding all my thoughts to myself...and Seth to an extent. Relaying them to some-one else was strange and more than a little awkward for me. Especially when that someone happened to be my ex-nemesis.

"Okay." I had adopted this phrase a bit too easily in my time here. "I'm not sure I want to continue with the Volturi. I know it may sound impossible to you...but I like it here...well the forest and the relaxed pace of things. At least, I want to take an extended leave from Volterra but Aro...he...he'll never allow me."

Bella looked at me, nodding encouragingly. "Have you told Seth you felt like this?"

"Not yet. I whispered. "I want to make sure that I could...stay with him before I tell him."

"But there's no way to make sure of that...not until you confront Aro."

"That's just it...he won't listen. He'll make Chelsea force me to stay with the Volturi. And if we run away, he'll send Demetri after us...and even if I stay here and await them, it will come to a battle. I can't...I can't think of Seth getting hurt, Bella."

"You love him." She said smiling.

"Yes." I whispered.

I loved him. I loved his warmth, that deep warmth inside him that could not be extinguished by the complications I had introduced to his life. I loved his strength. That inner strength he possessed to successfully soothe an ancient, evil, broken vampire. He had heart enough for the both of us. I was a long way from being whole again yet I believed with him I could really move forward from that horrible day so long ago. And I thought maybe my love for him was just as strong as the imprint connection he felt towards me. As vampires, our very nature was to remain frozen in the emotions that suffused us when we had been changed. But he had done quite some work on my emotions, changing my entire perspective on many things that I thought would remain embedded in me forever.

Bella appeared to be mulling over something as she bit her nail distractedly.

"I'm going to tell you something. I probably shouldn't but I'll tell you anyway."

I stared at her curiously awaiting what she had to say as she paused a bit.

"Alice had a vision while you were in the forest with Seth before you came here. She saw Aro and the Volturi coming here to get you back and when Aro threatened Seth, you...you crippled Aro with your power..."

My mouth slowly opened and closed. I couldn't even imagine such a scenario.

"Also, Edward is able to read your mind again. We know why you came here."

Suddenly I couldn't look at her.

"I have no intention of doing that again...I wouldn't hurt him in that way." I whispered staring at the ferny undergrowth at my feet.

"Not that we would have allowed you to either." Bella said firmly.

I looked up at her. And nodded in agreement. I was glad Seth had such good friends as them. We were now on the same page where not hurting him was concerned at the very least.

"So how long did you know of my plans?" I asked.

"Oh, a little while now."

"I wonder how Edward got past my defenses though." I mused aloud.

"I don't think your mind could have sustained whatever defenses you concocted after you started getting...distracted." She grinned irrepressibly.

I laughed a little. And I thought Seth had better control his thoughts around her spouse so that they wouldn't be aware of just how distracted I had gotten.

"I'm glad you're finally seeing that you deserve a life outside of Volterra. I know the past can't be undone but everyone deserves a second chance." Bella said softly.

"Thank you. For saying that." I glanced in the direction of the house now.

"Too bad others won't forgive so easily..." I added.

"They just have to get to know the new you."She said generously.

I shook my head disbelievingly. "If only it were that easy."

"What about your brother, Alec? Aren't you two very close?"

"Yes we are. We have always depended on each other...both in our human life and this immortal one..."

Bella looked at me expectantly as if willing me to elaborate further. But I left it at that. Rehashing our beginnings was not something that I readily went into. Seth had been the only one to coax me to reveal such in depth detail of our history. All these years in Volterra, Alec and I had studiously avoided speaking of the past and I had never even discussed it with Aro.

"So how would he react to you leaving the Volturi and being in love with Seth?"

I sighed. "I know it wouldn't be good. I'll have to face Alec when that time comes. But my main concern is Aro...and Caius."

I closed my eyes shut tightly. "What am I going to do?"

"We'll think of something...all of us will help you. It's time Aro knows that he can't dictate how someone should live their life."

"But Bella, with Chelsea's power he can make you feel as if you need to stay there, make you feel as if serving him is everything you ever wanted. And besides Alec and myself, Aro's never coveted any other power more than yours. And Alice's. Which you are already aware of."

"But her power will not affect you Jane. It has no effect on the bond between true mates..."

I frowned slightly. I had not even been knowledgeable of such a thing.

"How do you know that?"

"Because when I was in Volterra, while I was still human, she couldn't break the bond between Edward and I. Edward told me she had tried to numb our feelings for each other but our bond was too strong to sever."

I pressed my lips together. I almost blurted that I would do everything to prevent Seth from confronting Aro, Alec and the others. I would not be able to prevent all of them from...hurting him. I shuddered slightly at the prospect of him facing them.

"I appreciate your offer of helping us confront the Volturi but I'm sure your family wouldn't want to jeopardize themselves like that...for me. And I wouldn't ask that of any of you."

"It's not just about that, it's also about protecting our way of life. You said yourself that Aro wants Alice and me to join the Volturi. It's only a matter of time before he seeks another reason to descend on us again. We need to show him once and for all that he cannot break our family apart ."

I shook my head sadly. The strange thing was that I fully agreed with everything she said. Who would have thought?

I had always considered Aro as somewhat of a father to me, I had based my whole life on his whims and wishes. I had never done anything in my existence for my sole pleasure. I thought I used to experience pleasure when using my power but I knew that was a far cry from what I now knew to be true pleasure. Pleasure so good as to make one cry with tears of joy...

I abruptly halted the direction in which my mind was drifting...

It was approaching a month since I'd been here and within that short window of time, I had come to see that life in Volterra was not the ultimate life there was.

"Something has been pulling at my curiosity a bit. It's just that you seem to have no experience with pretending to be human." Bella said.

"I don't. I have never had to hide the fact that I'm a vampire in Volterra."

"Then... how did you come here? I mean, you didn't run or swim here, did you?" Bella asked with a chuckle, her brow raised.

I giggled.

"Of course not. Aro has human contacts all over the world. I arrived here on a private jet and a contact directed me to Forks."

"Oh! Ok."

"Bella, can I ask you a really personal question?"

"Sure..."

"Well, what I wanted to ask...what I was curious to know...how do you ever stop wanting to make love all the time?"

"Why would you ever want to stop?" She grinned and I smiled a little. "Ok seriously, just enjoy your inhuman capability in this regard. You're forever young...forever strong with non-stop stamina...it's like a dream come true!"

We both dissolved into fits of giggles.

"You won't ever have to worry about getting pregnant...a true teenager's dream come true." She added.

I sobered a bit as I contemplated her statement.

"I'm sorry, perhaps I was a bit insensitive..."

I held up my hand. "No, no that's ok...I of all people am not really keen on having children even if I could. I'm still trying to get over my own childhood, even after two hundred years..."

Bella looked at me curiously and I forged on quickly before she asked questions about said childhood.

"But I will always wonder if children are something that he would have wanted...not that it would be unattainable for him. If I leave him to live the life he deserves, I would give him the opportunity to be truly happy, to find someone who could give him these things, someone who wouldn't ruin his life as I could."

"Jane, Seth would be miserable without you. From what I know of imprinting and that would be a lot since Jake imprinted on my daughter, a wolf cannot live without being close to his imprint. If you forsake him, it'd be like you were sentencing him to die."

"I don't believe that Bella. I think he would...he would go on without me. This might sound unbelievable to you but I really love him...enough to want the happy life for him that he wouldn't have with me."

"No! You don't know what you're saying at all."

I looked at her a bit strangely. Her brows were furrowed and she regarded me gravely. Somehow I got an inkling that what I said aggravated some long stored memory she had. She proceeded to confirm my guess had been right.

"Look, before I became a vampire, Edward...left me once. And it almost killed me. He had ...similar thoughts about me...he thought I would be able to move on, to live that 'happy life' without him. But it didn't happen that way. Don't be so caught up in your own views that you would unwittingly damage the one you love. It's obvious to everyone that you two belong together..."

"It'll be selfish of me to rob him of the life he deserves..."

"With you. Bella interrupted me emphatically. "The life he deserves with you. And contrary to what you might think, you do deserve to be happy, Jane."

I ducked my head briefly then looked at her again.

"Besides, you can't keep away from him, remember?" She did this weird wiggling of her brows. I thought she was attempting to be suggestive. It looked hilarious. We went into giggle mode again. It felt so good...to simply laugh like this...

"Bella?"

Both of us stopped laughing turning to see Edward standing just a few feet away, watching us disbelievingly. Bella strolled playfully to him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and reaching up to kiss him soundly on his mouth.

I smiled looking away into the trees as Edward pulled her closer.


We sped back to the house where the Denali coven was now taking their leave.

"We'll be just a phone call away, Carlisle. You'll let us know if our...support is needed." Eleazar said to Carlisle. He nodded gravely as they filed down the stairs past me where I stood with Bella and Edward before the patio.

Kate and Tanya glared down harshly at me as they passed me by. I avoided meeting their gazes but I certainly felt the animosity pouring off them in waves. I sighed softly as they disappeared into the forest.

As I made my way into the living area, Emmett looked up at me from where he was sprawled on the sofa. He grinned irascibly. Oh no...

"Hey where were you guys? He looked at the three of us speculatively. "That must have been some influence Seth had on you...you're progressing from twos to threes already?"

"Emmett...please." Bella snapped, rolling her eyes.

"What is that even supposed to mean?" I asked.

"She didn't catch that?" Emmett said in an awe-struck manner.

I glanced at him exasperatedly, folding my arms.

The big brute stared at me as if he were trying to solve a puzzle. "Hmm..."

Then he started singing in this ridiculously whiny voice,"Like a virgin...touched for the very first time..."

My mouth dropped open. He would dare antagonize me about this? How in the world would he even know?

"He...doesn't. He's just being his usual, jack ass self." Edward whispered. I turned to him, nodding a bit and hiding my face behind my hair.

"So...it's true!" Emmett crowed.

"Em, leave her alone." Rosalie strolled into the room, shaking her head.

I felt warm blood suffuse my cheeks and that occurrence reminded me yet again of the changes I was beginning to experience. I didn't know what to make of it.

"Where's Carlisle?" I whispered to Bella.

"He's upstairs in his study." She was still glaring at Emmett.

"I need to talk to him about something..."


I knocked somewhat timidly on the door of Carlisle's study. It still seemed a bit surreal, the way I casually maneuvered my way around their house given the manner in which I had arrived here.

"Come in." He said kindly.

I slipped past the door, pausing there hesitantly.

"Please Jane, have a seat. What is it you wanted to talk about?"

I slowly walked over and seated myself in one of the plush chairs facing his desk.

"I've been experiencing some things...well it doesn't appear to be the normal thing for our kind..."

"What kind of things?"

"Well besides my eyes... I shrugged. "I'm beginning to feel as if blood is coursing throughout my body now...as it would in a human...this is beginning to reveal itself in the form of blood rushing to my cheeks...I blush as a normal human would..." I could not explain to him how I had felt blood rushing to other parts of me as well...when Seth and I...

I lowered my head, hiding my burning face. These human like characteristics were beginning to become supremely annoying.

Now I proceeded to tell him of another human trait I was developing that wasn't so personal.

"And I can...cry now."

"Cry?"

"Yes. I can shed actual tears."

He studied me making a steeple of his fingers beneath his chin.

"This is amazing. And unfortunately beyond the scope of my expertise. Human traits in themselves we are so accustomed to taking for granted yet in your case, or even if these startling developments were to take place in any vampire, it becomes so extraordinary."

"What if I'm becoming human now...what if I'm losing my immortality?"

Carlisle shook his head, deep in thought.

"I don't think so."

"Then what's your theory on this?"

He looked at me then.

"It's difficult for me to wildly pin point why you are experiencing this. Besides the fact that Seth's blood has affected you this way, I cannot determine why you would re-humanize like this. Unless..."

He paused then, deep in thought again.

"Unless what?" I prompted.

He shook his head slightly.

"I really can't say."

I felt like he decided not to tell me of his theory because he was wary of the way I might react.

"It's ok, Carlisle..you can tell me. I won't get...angry or anything like that."

He looked at the door.

"Seth's here." He said in a matter of fact way.

There was a light knock on the door before I could continue with my query.

"Come in." Carlisle said softly as I impulsively turned to face the door in my seat.

Seth opened the door, his eyes finding mine at once. I couldn't help my gaze roaming from the top of his silky ebony hair (and I knew just how soft his short strands felt between my fingers), to his gleaming, dark shoes. I loved the way those shirts he wore fit his broad shoulders and hinted at the sculpted musculature of his arms. He wore a deep red colour this time and it looked so sensual against his copper skin. He'd left the first few buttons loose...

His long, lean legs were lovingly encased in dark denim. He definitely knew how to clean up nice. Actually nice was an understatement.

He walked to me then he bent towards me until his face was level with mine and grasped my chin.

Our eyes locked as he whispered, "You look beautiful."

Then he kissed me softly on my lips before taking the other seat next to me.

He continued to stare at me, grinning a bit mischievously. I felt the wide, silly grin stretch my lips in response.

"So Seth, you've been going through changes as well. Yours might be just a bit easier to surmise."

I forced myself to turn to Carlisle now, trying to gather my scattered wits from the feel of his lips on mine.

"Uh, yeah." He said distractedly. I smiled again.

"What I think you are experiencing are custom characteristics of a vampire. Much in the same way Jane's venom has altered your dna to a vampire's chromosomal count, the venom could have also affected your hormonal level as well. We vampires are by our nature very territorial and possessive of our mates and that could explain your recent aggression. Coupled with the natural inclination of your wolf genes to protect your imprint, it could seriously mess with your control. Have you had trouble with phasing recently?"

Seth glanced at me a bit guiltily. I reached over and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"Yes..I did. But I..we managed to control it."

"I see. I wonder if these changes will affect your ability to phase? It's something you will have to monitor."

"So...there's a possibility that I can lose my ability to ...phase?"

"We simply can't know such a thing. I have never encountered such a baffling occurrence like this in all my years as a vampire."

Seth sighed quietly. I hated that my rabid thirst had affected him like this. Made him go through all these unwanted, confusing changes. He would have been so much better off if I had never come here..

"I'm so sorry Seth." I whispered.

He turned to me quickly.

"No, Jane this is not your fault. It's ok..."

"Please, don't tell me it's ok! I interrupted him a bit more harshly than I really intended to. "Because it's not. I'm ruining your life!"

My eyes pricked a little and those damned tears started again. Carlisle gasped in astonishment.

"This is amazing." He whispered in awe.

Seth grabbed me hugging me to him as I buried my face on his shoulder.

"You are my life." Seth said, his lips moving against my ear.

"Don't say that!" I mumbled, my voice sounding muffled as my mouth was pressed onto his chest. I couldn't help breathing him in a little. The thirst tugged at me again yet I resolutely held my breath. I was becoming extremely disgusted with myself. Here he was comforting me after I had affected his life so negatively and all I could think about was drinking his blood. He was so much more than that to me now.

I thought if there was some possible way to numb the power of the imprint connection, I would do it. Then he could truly see me for the monster I was. The monster by all natural laws that he should want to destroy.

Despite my thoughts, I felt a rampant need for him to possess me again...his hard body close to mine was stirring me, making me grow damp...

I tore myself away from him. I didn't want his beguiling scent or his virile body to tempt me any further nor did I want him to hold me, to comfort me as if I deserved any of that.

"Jane..."

I shot up from my seat and he stood up as well, a perplexed frown on his handsome face as he stared down at me. He reached for me but I held up my hand.

"Don't. Please." I said then I rushed to the door. I heard him coming after me.

"Please don't follow me!" I huffed a bit.

I closed the door behind me, leaning on it for a brief second before darting off to my room.


Volterra

24 hours later

Santiago strode determinedly past the inquisitive guards doing his utmost to stifle his burgeoning fear. It was a well known habit of Aro to impulsively destroy unfortunate individuals bearing bad news. And this wasn't merely bad news. This was sensitive...information about one of his most revered members.

He fervently wished that he hadn't seen such an eyeful. But he had. And he had to inform Aro right away despite his rightfully cautious fear.

The heavy doors swung open before him and he could see Aro, Marcus and Caius now where they sat awaiting his arrival.

The top rank of guards inclusive of Alec, Felix, Demetri, Chelsea and Renata stood before the raised dais, flanking the unnaturally still principalities of the Volturi.

He could feel their eyes assessing him curiously as well but that was not on the forefront of his mind. He was solely focused on relaying this...news as quickly as possible to Aro...and hopefully surviving beyond that.

The usual joie de vivre marking Aro's ancient face was missing in his starkly staid expression. He didn't wait for Santiago to reach him. He flew down the dais, grasping Santiago's hand gruffly.

Then his blood red eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

Santiago knew exactly what he was seeing. The very same thing he spied just a mere twenty four hours earlier.

Aro's power used his mind as if it were a reel...he saw everything.

Jane all over that...creature. Willingly allowing him to touch her...to possess her. But their physical intimacy was not what riled Aro. That was nothing to him at all.

It was the manner in which she interacted with him. He heard every word she revealed about her life to him through Santiago's circumspect eavesdropping. He hadn't lived for thousands of years not to recognize blatant emotion when he saw it. And right then, he intuitively knew that Jane had grown to love the creature...

He had encountered this similar situation with Marcus and his sister. That had been the very crux for changing his sister in the first place because Marcus in his infatuation had revealed too much. He had witnessed for himself how their strong bond had made them wish to leave the Volturi, made them wish, however unintentionally, to weaken his empire.

This was so much worse. He would not lose his most talented member to a Quileute wolf!

"Jane, I trusted you!" Aro whispered harshly. He numbly dropped Santiago's hand and he turned away now.

Alec took a step toward Aro, a question already forming on his lips but with a solid hand on his shoulder, Felix stopped him from going further. He glanced at Felix with an irate glare before his ethereal voice echoed in the vast silence of the archaic chamber.

"Master, when will she be returning?"

Caius rose from his throne."Aro, what is it?"

Aro held up his hand, gesturing for silence.

He could have wagered his entire empire that she would not have ever become enamored of that wolf in this way. He had trusted her, the one vampire who had been so steadfast in her servitude to him, to remain detached, to not let anyone or anything threaten her loyalty to him, to Volterra.

He had even been glad when the Cullens had 'captured' her. That way, it had ensured an extra guarantee that she wouldn't kill the wolf knowing how they were so considerate of the Quileutes.

But her killing him proved to be the least of his worries. And to think he had been the one to facilitate this, had sent her there...almost sacrificing such a talent as hers.

"What have I done?" He whispered.