Chapter 29: You Can't Spell Grounded Without Ed
"Double D, come on!" Eddy snapped, dragging Edd out of the van. Edd flopped around, wrapping his arms around Eddy. "Knock it off!" Eddy growled, almost dropping the cigarette out of his mouth.
Edd grabbed Eddy's cheeks, pinching them. He glanced behind him, forcing Eddy's head to turn. "Eddy, look! Nazz!" Edd said embarrassingly loud. Eddy groaned. "Still hot as ever especially in those yoga pants."
"Fucking shut up." Eddy smacking Edd, pulling his hands away from his face. Nazz stopped mid jog, seeing Edd flopped over Eddy. She pulled out her ear buds.
"Hullo Nazz, those yoga pants look excellent on you, they accentuate your as…"
"Nothing to see here." Eddy smiled, shoving Edd back into the van, closing the door. Nazz slowly walked over, seeing Edd knocking on the window. Eddy hit the door to the van to scare him away, maintaining his smile. "Hey… What's up?" Eddy pulled the cigarette from his mouth, blowing the smoke away from Nazz.
"I was going to ask the same thing." Nazz admitted, eyeing Edd as he began to breath onto the window, writing something. "You still smoke?" Nazz questioned. "Even though you're on the football team. Dude that's so bad for you."
Eddy looked at the window, figuring out what Edd was writing, he quickly stood in front of the door. "Yeah… I only do it when I'm stressed out." Eddy growled, glaring at Edd, reading the finished sentence. "Holy shit." He muttered, covering his face, hiding his laughter.
"Did he just write… 'You give me a semi'?!" Eddy drew in a deep breath, trying not to laugh.
"I gotta be honest, I didn't know he knew what that meant!" Eddy caved, laughing hysterically, Nazz smacked him. "I'm sorry!" Eddy laughed. Nazz continued to smack him until he stopped.
"Okay, what is going on here?!" Nazz snapped. "What is wrong with Double D?! Is he high?!"
"He was hanging out with the Kankers and got wasted." Eddy whined. "I don't know what the hell the bitch gave him… or the fuck it was laced with… all I know is I wanna get him into his house, and to bed." Eddy admitted.
Nazz's jaw dropped. "He's… Wasted?!" Edd finally found out how the open the door, stumbling out of the van. Nazz stared at Edd in shock. "Oh. My. God."
Edd put his arm around Eddy, pulling the cigarette out of Eddy's mouth. "Did you know, people with light colored eyes have a higher sensitivity to light than those who have dark?" Edd smiled to Nazz. Nazz nodded. "Did you also know that Eddy has pictures of you in certain magazines? He likes you." Edd winked, putting the cigarette to his mouth. "A lot." Eddy froze. Nazz stared at Eddy.
"Really?" Nazz questioned.
"A Lot." Eddy emphasized, drawing in smoke. He began having a coughing fit, throwing the cigarette onto the ground, stomping on it. "I Don't Smoke!" He exclaimed. He grabbed the water bottle that was clipped on Nazz's pants, downing it. He dropped the empty bottle, pulling out a list from his pocket, checking off smoking. "Hey… we should… go to that party…" Edd shoved the list into his pocket. He put his arms around Nazz and Eddy, wobbling. "Drinks on me. I should invite Marie. No. We should invite Marie." Nazz shook her head, smiling. "You guys, she's amazing. She let me… I gotta pee." Edd walked forward, catching himself from falling over. "Does anyone else have to go while I'm up?"
"It's all you, Dude." Nazz waved Edd away. She looked to Eddy. "You cannot take him to his house." She hissed. "His parents are gonna flip!"
Eddy groaned. "I guess I could let him crash at my place." Eddy shrugged.
"I guess so. I'll help you get him… wait, where did he go?" Nazz questioned. Eddy gasped, looking around.
"Uh-oh."
"Hullo Jimmy!" They heard from a few houses over. "Nice Ascot it accentuates your pretension!"
~o~
After 30 minutes, Nazz and Eddy sat onto Eddy's bed with Edd sitting in between them. They both clutched his arms. "He should be sobering up soon." Nazz admitted. "Did you have anything to eat today?" Nazz asked Edd with a hopeful smile.
"Lunch." Edd nodded. "And those mints in the bathroom at the party."
"What mints?!" Eddy growled.
"Good, they were the worst mints I've ever had." Edd exclaimed. "I should drink water." Edd went to stand up.
"No way Double D!" Nazz and Eddy held him down.
Eddy stood up. "I'll get it for you."
"Good man." Edd gave a nod, spanking Eddy.
Eddy cringed at the spank, glaring back to Edd. "You are never living this down." He pointed at Edd. Edd put his arm around Nazz, giving Eddy the finger guns. Nazz smiled, patting Edd's chest. Eddy's eyes narrowed. "You know… maybe you don't need water." Eddy returned to sitting down.
"We should get ice cream." Edd announced. "I'll be… the third wheel. You two can talk it out." Edd hiccupped. Eddy stared at Edd. "Be cool man…" Edd slapped Eddy's back. "Just let it happen."
Nazz looked to Eddy with a smile. "Sorry Double D, but I'm dating Kevin."
Edd was taken aback. "That won't do." Edd grabbed Eddy and Nazz's hand bringing them together. "You're not even happy!" Edd stood up. "Let's drink to celebrate!" Edd stumbled, falling backwards onto the bed, falling asleep.
Nazz and Eddy stared Edd down, until he let out a snore. "So…" Nazz broke the silence. "…he's totally wasted, and possibly drugged now." Eddy nodded. "But, he really wants us together…" Nazz took her hand out of Eddy's, rubbing them together. "I'm gonna be honest. I don't… I'm sorry."
Eddy smiled. "If we're being honest. I'm not interested either. I can't be tied down… I've got a fan club." Eddy gloated. Nazz rolled her eyes. "No really, there's a fan club. With chicks."
"And I'm out." Nazz stood up, walking to the back door. "Have fun with Double D, and good luck with your fan club." Eddy stood up, following Nazz.
"Well, thanks for the help." Eddy smiled.
"No problem." Nazz replied. "Double D is a sweetheart and he's helped me out a lot. Finally, I could return the favor. Not that he would remember." Nazz looked over to Edd who was now labeling things while still asleep. Eddy nodded. "Good night." Nazz waved.
"'Night." Eddy kissed Nazz without thinking. He quickly pulled away, covering his mouth. "Well, um see ya!" Eddy slammed in Nazz's face. "This is your fault!" Eddy growled at the sleep walking Edd.
~o~
"He looks like a little mouse." Ed smiled at Eddy.
"That's not how he was when I was trying to get him in here last night." Eddy grumbled, crossing his arms. They stood over Edd who was curled up in a ball in the corner of Eddy's room, sleeping on a few pillows. "I don't know what he had, but he wouldn't stop trying to go places. I don't wanna talk about it." Eddy looked at his phone to see the time. "Wow… he slept 'til 11." Eddy commented.
Ed nudged Edd. "Wake up sleepy head." He smiled. "Eggs and Bacon wakey wakey." Edd stirred, slowly turning to look and see Ed and Eddy. He groaned covering his face with his arm.
"And what our good friend is experiencing right now is a hangover." Eddy announced, smiling to Ed. "A first of many to come!"
"Please use inside voices…" Edd whispered.
"This is my inside voice!" Eddy said loudly. He snickered, looking at Ed. "Right Ed?!"
"YES." Ed shouted. Edd grabbed one of the pillows he was laying on, wrapping it around his head.
"I am never drinking again…" Eddy heard, looking to Ed with a smile.
Eddy bent down, pulling the pillow away. "That's what they all say for their first hangover. Come on Double D, all you need is a cup of coffee, and that cure-all you made and you'll be fine." Edd slowly sat up, holding his head. He looked around, squinting his eyes. He went into his pocket, pulling out his phone seeing he missed over 20 calls from his parents and multiple texts.
"Great." He snapped, standing up, walking past Ed and Eddy. He walked into the bathroom slamming the door.
Eddy looked at Ed with a smile. "He's cranky when he wakes up." Ed commented. "No wonder he was always the first up in the morning… to hide his mean side." Eddy smiled.
"Nah, he's just got a hangover." Eddy crossed his arms. "Never thought those words would come out of my mouth." Edd walked out of the bathroom, drying his hands on his shirt. "Eddward dear, that's not proper! Use a towel!" Eddy said in a high-pitched voice. Edd glared at Eddy, covering his ears.
"And that face is very un… uh… ladylike." Ed chimed in, shaking his finger. Edd let out a growl, walking over to the door.
"Where're you goin'?" Eddy questioned.
"Home." Edd opened the door. He turned around to face his friends with his jaw clenched. "Thank you for allowing me to sleepover." Edd said in a low tone. He walked out the door. "And I apologize if I caused any trouble." Edd closed the door behind him.
Eddy and Ed stood in the same place. "Wow." Eddy looked to Ed. "He didn't even cringe when he walked outside. I don't think he's human." Eddy walked to the window, watching as Eddy left the yard without even shielding his eyes from the sun.
"What a nice polite man." Ed smiled. "And a trooper."
~o~
Edd made it home to his parents waiting angrily. "Let me guess, grounded." He sighed, walking up the stairs. "Not need to send me to my room, I'll do it myself." His parents stopped him, directing him to the kitchen. "Ah, forgot about the lecture…" Edd walked into the kitchen.
He sat at the table, looking down at brochures to Alcoholic Anonymous and Underage Drinking. He looked up to his parents with his eyes wide. "Who are these for?"
~o~
Eddy and Ed sat down on Eddy's floor looking through magazines. "See Ed, who needs Kankers." Eddy smiled. Ed began to tear up, staring down at the magazines.
"May has two of these." Ed cried, pointing down at the picture. Eddy looked at the picture seeing it was a pencil. He looked up at Ed letting out an exhale.
"I'm gonna grab a soda, you want anything?" Eddy stood up.
"Make that 3." Ed whimpered.
"Got it." Eddy left his room for the kitchen. He opened the fridge, grabbing 3 cans of soda, in time of the phone to ring. "I don't got it." Eddy called, closing the fridge with his foot. His mother answered the phone while Eddy placed the sodas onto the counter, looking for a bag of chips. "Do we have anymore chips?" Eddy asked, looking to his mother whose face was turning red, glaring at him. "What?" Eddy shrugged.
His mother slammed the phone onto the receiver, grabbing Eddy by the ear.
"Whad I do?!" He snapped as he was dragged to the kitchen table. His mother smacked him, going through his pockets. "Whad I do?!" Eddy cried. His mother pulled out a pack of cigarettes, throwing them on the table. "Th-those are a friend's!" Eddy smiled nervously.
Ed sat in Eddy's room in tears, hugging the magazine, ignoring the screams and cries coming from Eddy in the kitchen.
