Disclaimed.
Another word for Enaid Mora.
…
Shrubbery.
…
"Well?"
They asked, arms folded, as soon as he walked into the room.
"Well what?"
"How far did you get?"
He looked like the cat that got the cream. "Got a glimpse of the shrubbery." He smirked again.
Across the room Remus sighed and put the book he was reading on his bedside table.
"You seriously didn't just refer to Marlene McKinnon's pubic hair as shrubbery did you?" He asked wearily, both knowing the answer and hoping for a different one.
"Yep." Sirius' eyes sparkled and he licked his top lip as he waggled his eyebrows.
"I'm horrified at you. I shouldn't be, this is what I should expect from you…"
James and Peter stood stock still and gazed at Remus with shocked expressions.
"What does that mean?"
"It means that you treat women as though they are objects and, quite frankly, it's disgusting."
"Let me get this straight, you are giving me dating advice."
"I am merely sick of hearing your awful, sexist innuendo."
James and Peter couldn't suppress the giggle at 'innuendo.'
"Why do I bother? Cretins- all three of you."
"What's up your nose?"
"You."
"Is this because you can't get laid?"
"Of course not. I'm not having any issues in that area, thank you very much."
"As if. When was the last time you had a date?"
"Last Saturday." Remus tried not to let the creeping blush deter him. He'd gotten this far, after all.
"Bollocks! You haven't had a date with a girl since third year and it was a shambles."
"No I haven't had a date with a girl since third year."
"Then how did you have a…" A thought suddenly struck Sirius. "You're homosexual?"
"Where did you learn a great big word like that?" Remus was afraid that he would no longer have any friends and was lashing out, "I'm queer, if that's what you mean."
"Since when?"
"Uh… birth?" Remus crossed his arms across his chest.
"Don't get angry at me. I'm your mate, remember."
"Sorry. Look, I just want you to keep in mind that sometimes, whether you like it or not, people care about you more than you care about them. So, try to be less flippant about your… conquests."
"Alright. Sorry, Moony."
Remus returned to his bed, thanking whoever was in charge of these things that Sirius thought that Remus had been talking about Marlene and not himself. He sat back down and opened his book as Sirius gave a more respectful recount of his night. Remus ignored it all. Jealousy was such an ugly emotion and he avoided it whenever he could.
"Hey, Moony." Sirius interrupted a little while later.
"Yes, Padfoot?"
"Who'd you date last Saturday?" Sirius asked, trying not to sound too interested. He wasn't sure why he wanted to know but determined to exact revenge all the same.
…
Sorry, it was a little short one, but it's what I thought of.
S.M x
