Sherlock woke up the next day with the light from the window hitting his eyes. He moved in what would now be his bed and felt the ache on his neck and back. Sleeping there was not going to be easy. He laid there for a while, thinking about the baby moving and kicking inside Molly's belly, just underneath his hand. He smiled. There was silence in the house. He expected Molly to still be in his room and got up, wondering if he should bother her. He decided to check on her. He got up, ruffling through his hair and arranging his pyjamas and put the kettle on. He was becoming very good at making tea. John would have been proud of him. He then went to his own room and opened the door that was slightly ajar. There was nothing there except for the unmade bed. Molly was not sleeping there. Then, where should she be.? Sherlock smiled, closing the door and getting away from the room. He knew exactly where she was.
Sherlock went up the stairs quietly and paced inside the room. Molly was sitting on the floor over a few pillows, her back to the wall, and was reading a book out loud, massaging her belly. Sherlock took a step and Molly looked up as he sat next to her on the pillows.
"I didn't see you pass me in the living room." He said, looking at her.
"I tried to be silent. I am pretty sure you probably slept very bad. That couch doesn't seem comfortable at all."
"It is." He lied.
Molly smiled but did not bring the subject up again. If he wanted to make the sacrifice she would let him. Not that it would matter if she tried to change his mind. Sherlock was stubborn.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yes, I did. The bed is comfortable. And the baby liked it too." Molly said, looking at her belly. The baby moved slower now. The space it had to move was now less, as it became bigger and bigger. Molly felt her heart swollen every time she thought about it. That baby would be the most loved baby in the world, she was completely sure of that.
Sherlock nodded, content. Molly looked at him, unsure if she should ask him or not. He noticed.
"What is it?"
Molly sighed.
"I am going to a prenatal exercises lesson advised by the doctor and I was wondering if you like to make me company. It's for couples and… well, I didn't want to be the only one there. If I like it I may continue, but it's the first time and I don't know anyone…"
She looked at her own extended feet. It was quite difficult to see her feet now when she stood up. The belly was way too big.
Sherlock thought about what she was asking. That would probably be the last place he wanted to go. But Molly needed his help and that was one way to help her, right? She was the one carrying the baby, so she had no choice. It was the least he could do.
"Yes, of course. I will go with you."
Molly looked up, surprised.
"Really?"
"Really." He nodded, with a brief smile.
Molly smiled back and started to get up, with some difficulty because of the belly. She realised sitting down like that had not been a very good idea. Sherlock helped her out, holding her hand in his. Their eyes met and he let go.
"I am going to meet Lestrade today. He needs me to testify about a case. But I will be home in time to go to the exercises." He said.
Molly nodded.
"Okay. I was thinking about going out to buy a few more things, I will probably take Mrs. Hudson with me again. We need some groceries."
"No." Sherlock said, turning around, as he was going to the door. "I'll do it on the way home. Just relax and enjoy a lazy day."
He then took a last look at her and left down the stairs. Molly put the book on its shelf and looked around the room again. She couldn't help but staring at it in amazement. It was so beautiful. Who would have guesses that Sherlock would do something like that? It was wonderful.
She came down the stairs as well just as Sherlock was putting on his coat. He gave her a smile and left the flat. She sat down, enjoying the tea he had left for her to drink and realised that she was just about to follow his advice. She would just stay there, sit and relax all day. Yes, it seemed like a good idea.
Sherlock got home a few hours later, a bag full of groceries in his hand. As he entered the living room he saw Molly asleep on the couch, a book placed over the belly. It was funny how she always seemed to fall asleep like that in the living room. She looked peaceful. He shook her a little bit, holding her shoulder. Molly opened her eyes, the light that still came from the window blinding her.
"Oh, sorry." She said, straightening herself. "I fell asleep."
She rubbed her eyes, suppressing a yawn. Sherlock took the book away from her and placed it over the table.
"You haven't gone out, then?" He asked.
"No." Molly got up, still a bit groggy and looked at her watch. "Oh, I need to get ready. The class is in less than an hour and I still have to change my clothes."
Sherlock nodded and sat on the couch, grabbing his violin as she left for the room. He started to play a melody, enjoying the warmth of the room. As he played Molly could feel the baby move more. She changed herself and looked in the mirror. She was so big.
"Okay, should we go?" She asked, coming out of the room.
"Yes, of course." Sherlock replied, getting up. He placed the violin on its stand and put the coat on again, closing the door behind him as Molly went down the stairs. They took a taxi and Molly gave the address to the taxi driver. They got to the gymnasium where the prenatal exercises session would take place. Molly, who had made the appointment a few weeks before, talked with the receptionist, who directed them to a room. There, to Sherlock's surprise, were already a few couples, very close to each other and talking about their pregnancies. Molly looked around but, taking a quick stare at Sherlock, decided that it would probably be better to avoid talking to strangers. He was unpredictable and she knew their situation was not the same as all the other couples in that room. They were all married, or at least lived together. Molly could sense the complicity in the way they stood close to each other, and the way both their faces brightened up as the coach who would help them with the exercises asked questions. The coach approached them, and as she had done with the other couples, invited them to sit on the floor, that was actually a huge mat. Sherlock and Molly sat in a corner, away from the attention. The coach waited for the whole class to settle down with a patient smile on her face. When everyone quieted down she spoke.
"Hello everyone. My name is Andrea, I will be your coach for today and for the next classes. I am glad you could all make it. I am hoping I can help you in the last three months of your pregnancy. This is an important time both for mothers and fathers, but of course our mummy's here have a tough time, so they need as much help as possible. These exercises are going to help you relax a little bit, be ready for the birth and it also keeps your muscles trained. If you wish, you can do these exercises at home as well, as long as you are cautious. Don't force things; just keep it as long as it is comfortable to you."
She looked around, at all the expectant faces that were paying attention to her words. Sherlock was starting to feel a bit claustrophobic. Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to have come after all.
"Okay, let's start with the exercises. I will let you know what you have to do and I will circle around the room to check on how you are doing the exercises and, if necessary, to correct postures."
She then got closer to a couple that stood in the front of the class.
"Okay, for our first exercise I will need you to sit in front of your partner and put the plant of your feet against the plant of his. You will obviously have to remove your shoes, if you haven't already. Please, leave some space between each couple so that you won't bump on each other." She asked from the different couples. They all did so, except for Sherlock and Molly. Molly was looking at Sherlock, waiting for him to move. "You two as well." The coach said, pointing at them. Sherlock felt the eyes of the whole class on them and, hesitantly, did as he had been told. He removed his shoes and then, as Molly had removed hers, placed his feet on hers. Her feet were tiny and tickled his.
The teacher helped the couple on the front, which would serve as example, to get the right position and everyone followed.
"Now, hold your hands and breathe normally."
Molly stretched her arms, asking for Sherlock's hands. He complied. Their gaze met but Molly, blushing, looked at her own feet.
"Now, boyfriends, husbands, partners, pull your lovely mummy's towards you, making sure she stretches her back well but keeps a good position."
Sherlock did so, pulling carefully. Moly felt her arm strings stretch slowly. Even if it wasn't much – the belly did not allow it – it felt good. She fest rigid lately, and she was sure these lessons would be precious.
"Now, back and forth, repeat a few times, always slowly." And so they did.
All couples were talking to each other, laughing together except them. Molly seemed more self-conscious than ever. The awkwardness on Sherlock's face wasn't helping.
"Is like this okay?" Sherlock asked, as his hands slid from Molly's. The coach came closer to them.
"No." She said, picking up a hand of Sherlock and one of Molly and interlacing them together. "You have to hold on tight. Otherwise your girlfriend will fall backwards." She advised, staring Sherlock in the eyes.
Sherlock, swallowing, nodded. Molly tried to hide a smile. He seemed scared with the coach's promptitude at dealing with them. But he held her hands tight.
The coach helped other couples and after a few minutes encouraged them to try another exercise.
"Okay, I need everyone standing now, we are trying something new and I will also help you with some breathing exercises." Everyone got up and turned to the coach. "Very well. I need you to stand in front of each other, our mums with the feet hip width apart." She waited for all of them to be ready. "Now, bend your knees slightly and here is where your partner will be needed. Grab each other by the waist. Now you will step forward and back. If the mum steps with her right leg forward, the daddy steps with his left back and vice versa. Everyone understood? Now you will bend your knees until you can and then return to the standing position. Daddy's, your help here is very important. Don't let the ladies fall, pull them up if they are too tired."
The men nodded and began with the exercise. As the coach expected, some positions had to be modified and improved. As she turned around she saw Molly and Sherlock. Sherlock was grabbing Molly only slightly and this one was having trouble to even bend her knees as she had no support. The coach got closer to them, hands on her hips, sighing.
"What is it with you both?" She asked, quietly. "Are you afraid to touch her?" She asked Sherlock.
Sherlock didn't answer, his eyes became colder but he looked also embarrassed. The coach grabbed his hands and placed them with a firm grasp on Molly's hip, who shook slightly.
"These are her hips. You have to hold them well or she may fall. Here, see. It's easy. Now, don't let go."
Sherlock looked at Molly in the eyes as the coach went away, leaving them alone for a moment to try and get the hang of the exercise. Sherlock grabbed Molly's hips tight, as he had been instructed, with both hands.
"I am sorry." He apologised.
"It's okay." Molly said, blushing.
Molly, with Sherlock's help, made the exercises a couple of times, until she was tired.
They sat on the mat, side by side, almost no space between them this time. All couples were now relaxing and talking to each other again, smiling. The men were hugging their wives and girlfriends and some were even touching the mummy's bellies as they talked about the babies. Molly was looking around, a mesmerized look on his face, as the coach prepared all she had needed for a small introduction about the time of birth and other tips on how to handle the baby. They would still have a few classes before the big day, but the coach was filling them on what they would be learning.
Sherlock followed Molly's gaze. A couple was sitting, the woman with her back against her man's chest and they were looking at a picture of the baby's ultrasound they had brought with them. They seemed so happy and passionate, talking about how it hadn't been easy to get pregnant but, after years, they had finally made their dream come true. Sherlock understood that what he and Molly had was something that many couples fought for, sometimes their whole life, without ever achieving it. He wasn't sure how that made him feel. Scrutinizing again through Molly's face and the way she looked at the couple, he looked down, at her hand placed on the mat, and he held it, putting his fingers on the space between hers. Molly's heart gave a small jump and she looked at their hands together and then faced Sherlock. He smiled for a second and Molly smiled back. She closed her fingers on his and looked at the coach, too scared to face him again. The butterflies on her stomach seemed bigger than ever and Robyn was moving slowly. She placed her free hand on top of her belly, trying to calm down. Robyn kicked. Maybe it was her reaction to her mother's happiness.
An hour and half after they had started the class they got out of the building where the classes were, still holding hands. Sherlock hadn't let go and Molly, though her hands were slightly sweaty, refused to be the first to let go. Sherlock raised his free hand, calling a taxi.
"So, what did you think?" Molly asked, looking at him. He hadn't said a word since he had held her hand.
"It's… scary." He admitted.
Going again through all the explanations about childbirth that the coach had given, Sherlock wasn't sure how Molly could remain so calm. She would be the one having the child, and all those things scared him.
Molly seemed a little disappointed.
"Well, I guess it must be. But it's okay, you don't need to worry. You don't have to be in the delivery room when I have the baby. Not all dads stay. And I can always ask Mrs. Hudson to make me company. I wouldn't like to be alone."
"Don't be ridiculous." Sherlock said, looking at her as a taxi finally stopped. "Of course I will be there. I want to be there. It's my baby as well, after all." He said.
Molly got into the taxi smiling, looking at the window so Sherlock wouldn't see. It was the first time he referred to Robyn as "his baby." That sounded nice. Right.
As the taxi drove away Sherlock looked at the window as well. Molly's hand felt warm in his. He should let go now. But he didn't.
Sherlock woke up in the middle of the night, not sure why. As he sat on the couch, rubbing his eyes, he thought he heard something. It came from Molly's room. He got up and took that direction, opening the door carefully. As the image of Molly showed up before his eyes he saw she was trembling. The noise he had heard was of her sobbing. He entered the room and sat next to her. Molly looked at him, noticing his presence and tried to conceal her tears, hiding her face on the pillow she had been holding for the last fifteen minutes.
"What is it?" Sherlock asked. He had placed his back on the bed frame, keeping his distance from her.
Molly shook her head.
"It's…"
But her words were drowned by the sobs again. Sherlock wasn't sure of what to do or what she needed. Molly found her voice at last.
"What if… what if I am horrible…"
"Horrible?" Sherlock asked, without understanding.
"Yes!" Molly said, angry he didn't understand. "What if I am a horrible mother? What if I don't know how to feed her, or dress her, or even hug her? What if she cries the whole night and I can't comfort her? What if…"
She broke down again. Sherlock smiled, relieved and feeling immensely sorry for her. So, it was that. He shortened the distance between them and got closer to her, putting an arm over her shoulders. Molly looked at him, her eyes red from crying, and letting go of the pillow leaned her head against his chest, holding him by his pyjamas.
"Don't be ridiculous." Sherlock said. He was not one for comforting. He was trying, though. "You are going to be an excellent mother. Am sure there will not be a baby more… loved than her or him."
"What if I am not?" She asked.
"That's not possible. You have a gigantic heart, Molly Hooper. If you were ever able to feel anything for someone like… me. Then you will have no trouble loving anyone else."
The words came out of his mouth like that, and he meant them. He was not worth being loved. She was not afraid to love back. So, how could she not be able to take care of a little baby? They used to say love was all it took; the rest came with time, didn't they?
Molly looked at him, understanding how much he underestimated himself. Understanding, for the first time, what he thought about himself. Underneath the layer of cold and un-attachment was a man who thought he was not worth loving.
"Look at me." He asked, placing a hand on her chin. "You are the most amazing human being I have ever met. And I mean it. You are courageous, but caring. You can be strong but sweet. That's what everyone says about you, you can believe it. Actually, I truly believe you may even win the award for best mum in the universe one day. And I will be here to see it."
Molly cleaned the tears on her face, relaxing a little.
"Thank you." She said.
She put her pillow back behind her head and lied down. Sherlock removed his arm from her shoulders and began to get up. Molly pulled him by the hand.
"Please, don't go. I don't want to be alone. And we both know how crappy that sofa-bed is."
Sherlock thought about refusing. About giving her a kiss on the cheek and let go and close the door behind him. But, as Molly's huge eyes looked through his, he could not bring himself do it. He nodded and lied down next to her, as Molly leaned on him again, falling asleep to the rise and fall of his chest.
A while later Sherlock placed his hand slowly over Molly's belly and felt the baby move in slow movements. He smiled and fell asleep finally, the baby's movements working as a lullaby.
The couch went back to its old function and was never opened as a bed again.
