|Jade|
Beck was my first everything. My first real kiss, my first real boyfriend, my first time. We were both virgins, so the whole experience was slow and careful - not awkward, just curious. We spent more time just looking and touching each other than actually having sex, and the sex itself was clumsy and kind of painful as it tends to be. But we got good at it. In almost three years, we had learned each other well. I knew (still know) where and how to touch him. I know his soft spots, his ticklish ones, the parts of him that he likes bitten or scratched. And he had studied me just as closely; he had a firm grasp on what made me feel good and was (is?) an expert in the field of pleasuring me. Beck is still so familiar to me, so safe and close, that when my eyes turn to Tori, who is now sitting tentatively on the edge of my bed as if it might explode, my feet stick to the floor in fear.
It's not that I'm afraid of her or her body or that she's a girl or anything. I have access to the internet and, like everyone else, have ventured in some of the darker corners (those who say otherwise are lying). I know how it works. I know I can figure it out.
It's just that she's not Beck. She's new. I have to re-learn all over again, like getting pulled back a year in school. It's not going to be effortless. I have to pay attention, take notes, remember, and it's not like I don't want to do those things because, especially with the way Tori's biting her lip right now, I definitely want to. I'm just scared that maybe she's something I won't be good at. And I want to be good with her more than anything.
I swallow, watching as Tori bends at the waist to remove her heels. Distracted, I follow suit, kicking them by the side table. Silence is thick between us.
Tori's fingers shift to the top button of her blouse. She fidgets quietly.
"We don't have to do anything," I blurt, sounding more panicked than I had planned. "I mean, not that I don't want to or anything, but I was just joking upstairs. We can watch a movie. We can just sleep. I don't - " I blink at her and I can still feel the soreness in my eyes from my recent crying, a distant pounding still echoing in the back of my head. "I don't want to pressure you into anything."
Tori's smirk is just barely there. "I don't feel pressured," she says. Her fingers pop the button. More caramel flesh is exposed to me, the barest hint of the slope of her breast. I hold my breath. "I know what I'm doing, Jade." Her eyebrows flicker. "Well, I don't, I'm a virgin, obviously, but I know what choice I'm making." She hesitates, frowning across the room at me. "Unless you don't want to do this, of course."
"No, no." I shake my head and both of my hands before running them down the back of my skirt. "No, trust me, I am all aboard this ship. I am the captain of this ship."
"What does that make me?" Tori laughs and bites her lip again and goddamn, that's sexy. Another button is released from her blouse.
I lift one side of my mouth. "The skipper." I take a few steps forward, pausing just short of her side before I take an abrupt turn toward my dresser. I can feel her curious eyes on me as I scoop up my PearPad and put it on the dock. After swiveling through a few screens, I'm shown my playlists. I have several of them - one for when I'm pissed off, another for working out, one for when I'm really pissed off and - there. A set of acoustic songs. I usually listen to it when I'm writing or when I'm trying to calm myself down. It seems appropriate and music kind of is a big deal to both of us. I turn the volume just high enough for both of us to hear it before I turn back to Tori. She's smiling still, her expression breathless.
"You okay?"
Tori takes a deep breath. "Yeah, just. You know." She lifts her hands before letting them slap against her knees. "Don't want to crash the ship."
I laugh, stepping toward her again. Electricity pops in the air between us. The hairs on my arms stiffen. I touch one side of Tori's face and swoop down to meet her lips. She's so goddamn soft when Beck had been all firm and hard edges. I feel like I might break her. "I'll steer us, okay?" I mumble against her lips, feeling them stretch into a slow smile against my own.
Her laugh is broken with her heavy breaths. "Okay."
I open my eyes to study her flushed face. Curling one finger below her chin, I kiss her again, feeling her push herself back across the mattress. My knees plant on either side of her, carefully lowering on top of her hips. Our tongues meet, hot and slick, and her hands are on my bare thighs, fingertips resting just below the edge of my dress.
I can feel her pulse throbbing in her neck when my hand settles there. It's almost frantic. She's warm all over, lips hot, hands trembling, and it takes me a minute to realize that I'm just as nervous as she is. It doesn't matter that I'm not a virgin or that I've been intimate in the past - it's still the first time with Tori. Tori, this unbelievable girl with a heart of gold - no, of fucking sunshine. This person who has decided that for some bizarre reason, I am worth her time and patience and effort, even though I had done nothing in the past to prove it.
Tori - my sun, my skipper, this girl that I'm falling in love with.
The thought stuns me. I sit back, panting, and Tori takes the opportunity to finish unbuttoning her blouse. I don't have much time to sit on the sudden realization because Tori is taking her shirt off and I've seen her in a bikini before, so this view isn't exactly new, but it's different now because it's private. It's for me.
Her skin is a brilliant tan. I lean down and kiss her collarbone. She's hot, scalding my lips, burning my tongue, as her shaking hands swim up my dress. Her nails skim tentatively up the flesh of my thighs and then down again, slipping inward, and, Christ, for someone with little experience in this field, she definitely knows how to drive me completely fucking insane.
"The zipper," I breathe against Tori's neck. She stops. "My dress. The zipper is behind my back."
"Oh," she breathes, giving another breathy laugh as one hand leaves my leg to take hold of the zipper. It ticktacks slowly down until it's far enough that I have enough room to pull the entire garment over my head, leaving me in just my bra and panties in one fell swoop. Tori stares up at me, her chest swelling and deflating at a dizzying speed. I'm a ghost compared to her, my pale flesh practically fluorescent. But she's looking up at me like I'm carved from marble, a Greek statue meant to be admired.
I swing my leg off of her so she can shimmy out of her dress pants. They pool noiselessly to the floor along with my dress. I lean against the pillows at the head of my mattress and take a moment to really look at all of the curves and lines that make Tori up; like the hills of her knees and the dents behind them, the tiny cave of her bellybutton and the swell of each breast. She's beautiful, and I don't realize that I've said it aloud until Tori's face darkens with a blush, her hands reaching behind her head to pull out the bun. A mass of curls tumble down her bare shoulders before she stretches the hairtie back and aims it at me, eyebrows wiggling.
"I dare you," I say, lips splitting in a wide grin. She laughs, directs the tie toward the floor, and lets it go. It bounces and spins beneath my dresser.
Following her lead, I pull my own hair free of the band keeping it held up. There's a definite kink where it had been pinched, black curtains swinging to the sides of my face. Unlike Tori, I don't give her enough time to dare me before I let the hairtie go in her direction, watching her flinch in surprise as it smack against her shoulder. Her lips part in a large 'o', eyebrows all but hurling straight off of her forehead.
"You little -" She crawls across the bed, between my legs, fingers curling into my sides. I give a brief scream as she tickles me, squirming beneath her, laughing loudly into her ear.
I manage to wrestle her to her side, and then to her back, resuming my post on top of her hips again. Tori is grinning anyway, devilishly so, and instead of retaliating with words, I kiss her again. The playfulness melts into something more intimate as her fingers tangle behind my head, the kiss growing in fervor. When her tongue meets mine, I feel her breathe in sharply through her nose, and I take the next step by slipping my hands beneath her back. By the time she's pulled away and blinked, the clasp to her bra is already undone, and she's gazing up at me deliriously, like I make her drunk.
"You're sure?" I chew my lip and watch her breathe, the wheels turning in her eyes, before she swallows and nods, smile eager. Without any more help from me, she pulls her bra off and tosses it on the growing pile of clothes on the floor, props up on her elbows, and kisses me, and then I know for certain that she's sure.
I cup one soft breast in my hand, thumb grazing along her dark nipple. She responds with a sound against my mouth, something carnal and the beginning of a moan. I pepper her jaw with kisses, working my way along her neck. Tori falls completely against the pillows, hands falling beside her bed as I start the heart-pounding journey of exploring her body.
It's a wonderful thing just in the aesthetics, but on a deeper level, it's so much more than that. There's a freckle below her left breast that burns my lips when I kiss it. Her hips are sensitive to my touch, trembling beneath my traveling fingers. Her hands clench in and out of fists as I explore, kissing and licking and fanning over every part of her I can see with my breath. Her breathing becomes so fast that I begin to grow worried, forcing myself to pull out of the wonderland of her body to swim back toward her face, my expression concerned.
"Tori," I whisper, planting a hand just below her breast, cupping the side of her ribcage. "Breathe. Slowly, before you pass out."
Tori's eyes shut. She swallows, nods, takes in a deep breath, and lets it out slowly through her teeth. Her heart is still racing - I can feel it drumming against my palm - but she's finally somewhere near normal. "Sorry," she says, eyes opening again. "I just, I'm so - this is so, so good, you're so good at this -"
I can't stifle the smug smile on my face. "Oh, you haven't seen anything yet." I kiss her lips again before disappearing down the length of her body again. She rests on one elbow in order to watch me, our eyes locked as I surf down the plane of her stomach and over her legs. Her trembling thighs part for me. I plant another kiss at the very edge of her panties and Tori's entire body erupts with shivers, goosebumps racing across her flesh at a fascinating speed. I study them in awe for a lot longer than a normal person would, only pulled back by Tori's moan.
Refocusing myself, I press my fingertips to the inside of Tori's knee and languidly drag them up toward her thigh. I can feel the heat radiating from her center already, can see the damp cloth of her panties. It's an exhilarating kind of feeling knowing she's in this state because of me. It makes my head spin and I can't hold back any longer, hooking my fingers into her panties and pulling them down the length of her legs. All of Tori's nerves are gone, replaced with desire, with need - I can hear it in her crashing breaths, her wanton moans.
I kiss her thigh, feeling the flesh shiver beneath my lips. My hand ghosts over her center, her straining hips struggling not to raise. She makes another sound, this one deeper and more animalistic than I've ever heard from her, and it shakes me to the core.
I don't wait. I don't ask her if she's ready, because she clearly is. She's more than ready. So I skim over the soft mound of her hair and press a finger against her clit. The stimulation alone is enough to make her almost cry out. I glance up at her, her head craned to the side, a knuckle pinched hard between her teeth.
"Don't hold back," I tell her, circling her clit slowly. She moans louder, releases her knuckle, and lets go.
It's beautiful, watching her come apart at my hands. This is real music, I think - the tune of her pleasure is better than any performance she's ever given. When I feel her begin to tense beneath me, her moans louder than ever, I abruptly stop. Tori whimpers - a sound that should be fucking illegal it's so hot - and looks down at me.
"Why -"
That's as far as she gets, because I'm slipping two fingers inside of her. I watch Tori's eyes first explode and then squeeze shut, hands fisting in the blankets.
"Oh my god -" She pants, and I don't waste any more time, knowing she's close to the edge as it is. I pump my fingers at a steady pace at first, in and out and occasionally curling them. My thumb keeps a constant pressure against her clit.
I feel the crescendo building, the climax of her song. Shifting my thumb out of the way, I bend over and flick my tongue against her - once, twice, and then she comes crashing down like cymbals slamming against each other. My name is lost in the waves of her climax, her constricting muscles and sweating skin. Her fingers weave through the back of my head and grip, pain that isn't at all unpleasant burning my skull. I don't stop then, though - I keep tasting her, licking her, sucking the nub of her clit until she comes a second time, this one more frantic than the first. I stop only when her shaking thighs drop in exhaustion against the mattress.
I sit up. I'm not nearly as breathless as her, but it does take me a minute to slow down my lungs. Tori takes twice as long, mouth open, eyes closed. When they do open, I'm laying at her side, drawing figure eights on her stomach.
"Wow," she manages.
I look to her dreamy expression and grin, chuckling. "You liked it?"
"Liked it?" Tori laughs. Though she's still shaking, she rolls toward me and kisses my cheek. "There are no words strong enough to describe how I felt about that."
I cock a studded brow at her. "How does not being a virgin feel?"
A smirk crawls over her lips. She rocks forward and kisses me. I'm certain she can taste herself on my mouth and I'm afraid that it might turn her off, but it only seems to spur her further. "Amazing," she whispers, eyelids heavy as we pull apart. It's my turn to feel breathless, the room whirling as she wraps an arm around my back and plucks the clasp of my bra.
Grinning wickedly, I chuck the bra over the side of the bed and, to my surprise, find Tori immediately latching onto a nipple. I give a surprised sound that beats off into a moan as her curious tongue tests the sensitivity of the hardening bud. Slowly, my mind detaches itself from my body, until I'm not thoughts - just sensations, just Tori's wandering hands as she follows the curves of my sides, the dip between my breasts. She pushes me onto my back and straddles me, holding her hair back with one hand as she kisses every inch of my chest and stomach. My ankles hook behind her back, heat scorching through my veins at every brush of her lips and fingers.
"For a newbie," I offer at some point, rather out of breath, "You're really fucking good at this."
Tori smiles against my bellybutton. "I'm a fast learner," she boasts. She pulls back and I hike my panties down to my knees, where she then takes control and drops them to the floor. We're both completely bare, now, washed in the dim light of my bedroom. We stare at each other and it's then I'm reminded that I put on music. The words float out in a soft, whispery tenor;
We're like noughts and crosses that
Opposites always attract
We're the sun and the moon; an eclipse.
Tori is confident. She works slowly and carefully, always judging my reaction with her eyes, but she finds her way to my clit and masters it quickly. The slightest brush is enough to knock me clear off the edge, so she keeps the circles she makes drawn out. I moan her name, a weak sound that may have bothered me under different circumstances, but I'm so completely consumed with Tori, in Tori, that I only care about her and me and us and this.
When one finger slowly slips inside of me, I feel completed, pleasure ricocheting inside of me in hot bursts. Words crush out of me without thought behind them, no construct or forethought - more yes please god fuck Tori faster oh Tori Tori Tori - until it's just one long string of sound.
Experimentally, she dips her head down and runs her tongue across my clit just once, and that's all it takes.
White explodes behind my eyelids, banishing all coherency, all rationality. Her name leaves me once more, desperately loudly. I would have called it pathetic had it not been Tori.
But it's just right.
It takes me a while to come down. She's smiling at me when I do. My bedroom floods into focus a few moments later, a distant throb still present when I shift my legs even slightly.
"I was good?" She questions after a minute, a hint of doubt in her voice.
I give her the most incredulous look I can, given the circumstances. "Tori, Christ." I laugh, wringing my hands through my hair as I pull myself into a sitting position. "You were fucking incredible. And, lucky for us ..." I place two fingers against her knee and walk up the tan skin of her thigh. "We've got a whole night for smooth sailing."
"Just how many nautical puns are we going to use this evening?"
"As many as it takes to get me booty."
"Jade."
"Okay, okay." I grin, pushing forward to kiss her. She tastes like me, like us, and it makes my heart swell. "Full speed ahead."
A/N: Okay, now get your hands out of your pants. Don't pretend I don't know.
I'm posting this a few days early because I literally could not write anything else (including my essay due tomorrow) until I finished this. I hope you guys liked it.
Reviews, for me, are my kind of buried treasure. So. That would be lovely.
Also, the two lines I borrowed are from a song called "Always Attract" by You Me At Six.
