A/N: Before anything else, let me apologize for this chapter being so short. It felt like anything else I could add would have no meaning on the story.
Now, to my dear reviewers ^_^ I forgot which reviews I had replies and which I hadn't from this last chapter, so if anyone didn't receive a reply, please, don't feel offended, it's just me that am very unorganized (disorganized? - I shouldn't be doing this on my tablet uu' I need the corrector).
Anyway, I wanted to bring Alastor back to the story, I hope you like it.
ENJOY ^_^
MY MASTER
.
The realization of love
.
By Saeshmea
"Are you going to tell me what the matter with you is or do I have to guess?" Alastor asks all of a sudden in the middle of our chess game. He sent an owl yesterday to say he would be coming because we hadn't seen each other for days.
"I don't know what you mean," I try to avoid the question; "I'm fine.'
"The hell you're fine!" he yells as he makes his next move, "I've had to come up here to check on you because you hadn't come to visit me in two weeks, you have barely spoken when usually there's no way to make you shut up, and you're letting me win this game too easily so," he says, "what's wrong?"
"You don't want to know," I insist, standing up and walking to the bar furniture to refill my glass.
"I see," he mutters, following me, "that boyfriend or whatever-it-was of you has dumped you, am I wrong?"
I don't reply, I just roll my eyes, infuriated because I know what's coming now.
…
February 28th, 1982.
This was my second weekend with Severus and I almost screw everything up, fortunately my slip could be fixed because the more time I spend with him, the more I know I don't want this whatever-thing we have to end.
I saw his mark this time, his Dark Mark. It's on his left arm just like the ones from the Death Eaters I captured with Alastor. It was weird to see it on a friend, but I'll get used to it, I will.
I also got to ask him some questions about himself and in exchange for the answers now I have to follow a list of instructions during the week. It might sound stupid and degrading, but I am very excited to see if I can cope with the challenge.
By the way, before the weekend I had tea with Aunt Millie. She introduced me to another man; an ambassador or something like that. I wish I could have told her I already had someone in my life now, but I have the feeling that even if I could, she wouldn't find Severus exactly suitable for the role.
…
"The bastard has used you as he's pleased for his depraved games and now that the school year is over and he's free to go home and find a younger slut, he dumps you like garbage," Alastor continues.
"Stop it, Alastor," I demand, "it's nothing like that."
"Isn't it?" he barks, and I look at him empty his glass of firewhisky down his throat in one sip before he stares at me, "well, whatever, you're a lot better without him," he adds.
"No, I'm not," I say with a very low voice, but he hears me.
"Of course, you are, you just need to mourn his loss and soon enough you'll be back to normal," he says.
"He's not dead, Alastor," I say angrily, noisily leaving my glass on the counter, "and I don't want to go back," I say, tears coming up to the corners of my eyes, "I don't want to be miserable and lonely again, I was happy now, with Severus," I add, and somehow, saying his name out loud pulls something inside of me and I break down, "I thought he'd regret his decision," I say among sobs, "but it's been two weeks, and he hasn't come after me," I mutter, "I miss him."
…
March 5th, 1982.
I'm starting to question what exactly it is that I've put myself into. I saw Mr. Goodman today after visiting Alastor. We went out for a coffee, but I couldn't take Severus out of my mind so I went to pay him a visit in the Leaky Cauldron (he's in London because of something to do with the Ministry). When I told him about Mr. Goodman and his interest on me, he insisted I should go on a date with him.
I don't understand. As if I hadn't enough between my Aunt, the girls, and Pomona's wedding, now I have my lover, my Master, pushing me into meeting other men. I just don't understand, but I'll go. Maybe all of them are right, maybe I do need to find someone and get settled once and for all. The only problem is that I don't want Severus out of my life yet. I'm not ready for that.
…
I close my eyes, as if that would help hide my tears from Alastor, and I suddenly feel his arms around me.
"Come here," he whispers as he pulls me closer into his embrace, and he holds me until I calm down and then gives me his handkerchief to dry my tears, "I didn't know you'd fallen in love," he says.
"What?" I mumble, "I didn't, I haven't… I…"
"Minerva, dear, I know you since we were kids, I've seen a few men come and leave from your life and I have never seen you so affected by a break up," he says, "not even with ours," he adds, and I don't know what disturbs me the most, if the fact that Alastor is giving me love advice, or the realization that he is right, I am in love with Severus. "Had you told him?"
"Told him what?" I ask.
"Your feelings," he says, "maybe he feels the same but is afraid you don't."
"Do you really think that or are you just trying to make me feel better?" I ask.
"Probably more of the second part," he jokes with half a smile on his lips, and then he adds, "look, I don't know Snape well enough to tell you this, I just followed him around for a few days, and had a few meetings with him to get information; but I know you, Minerva, and if he hasn't fallen in love with you at this point, he is not worthy of your tears."
After that, a deep silence surrounds us, disturbed only by the soft summer rain outside the big windows of the library.
"Should we continue our game?" he suggests and I just nod.
"Alastor," I mutter before we return to the antique chess table.
"Yes?" he turns around.
"Thank you," I say, "you're a really good friend.
He takes my hand and kisses the back of it, softly. Then, he looks at me and for an instant, everything seems to be alright.
"Let's play," he says as if the previous minutes hadn't exist, as if we hadn't just been talking about me being in love of a man that isn't him, as if I wasn't aware of how much this must hurt him.
Oh, Alastor, things would be so easier if I could love you back. If only you were right and Severus really felt something for me, but he hasn't come, he hasn't even owled me, and probably, he hasn't even read my Diary.
...
March 8th, 1982.
We fixed things yesterday. I know it might look as if I'm going easy on Severus but, for some reason, I couldn't stay upset with him any longer.
He came back from London with flowers and chocolates for me. If any other man had done that to apologize to me, I would have thrown the bouquet to his face, but coming from Severus it felt different, special.
We spent the night talking, just talking, about random things, but it felt really good; I woke up on his bed this morning and he'd made breakfast for us both. I wish every day of my life started like this from now on.
.
TO BE CONTINUED...
