Lily almost leapt from the car while it had still been moving, she just couldn't wait any longer; she had to know the truth.
She told the driver she would be right back, he had asked to take in her things but she declined, 'I might not be staying long...' She quickly said before running off down the grounds towards the pond.
Her chest started to burn from the incline of the hill towards the pond but she would be damned if she stopped now. The path ended onto the greenery going downhill, she wasn't far now.
Her heels started to sink into the mud; was it raining? She looked up at the grey clouds, it was raining...she hadn't even noticed.
She took her shoes off and proceeded to run bare foot. The cold, wet grass was a relief to her overheated and tired body.
She finally found the hidden opening to the pond; she stopped suddenly as she pushed through the branches and bushes. The Koi pond was shrouded in darkness from the trees; she shivered suddenly, a cold chill running up her spine as she thought about the girl hanging herself in this very spot.
This garden had given her such fond memories, before all this madness had begun; it had been calm and peaceful.
Now it felt empty, cold and full of despair. She couldn't allow her fear get the better of her. She rubbed her chest, her heart was beating furiously.
She walked over the bridge, careful not to slip on the wet wood. She shivered as the heavy rain beat down upon her head; she wiped water from her eyes.
The smell of wet grass, trees and earth were strong and did nothing to help her shake the feeling of uneasiness.
She found the bluebells. Just looking at the beautiful flowers reminded her of him, his shaky hands and flushed cheeks as he fiddled and struggled placing the flower in her hair.
She slumped down on her knees, she didn't care about the mud, she was already as wet and dirty as she could get.
She noticed a parting of the flowers; they had been indeed covering something. She started to brush them aside with shaking hands shivering now uncontrollably.
She let out a small cry when she saw it, the golden memorial stone with the words Rest in peace C.R.
She buried her face in her hands, it was true then, the whole awful story was true, Constance's grave was here and L had driven her to kill herself...
'Lily?'
She screamed at the top of her voice as she whipped her entire body around to find Kenzo standing at the foot of the bridge holding an umbrella. He looked shocked and concerned.
'Hey, hey it's just me...' He said hurrying towards her.
She let out another cry, failing to calm herself down.
He knelt beside her, sheltering her with his umbrella. 'My god look at you, you're socked to the bone.' He said rubbing her arm gently. He looked down, following Lily's stare, his own eyes opened widely as he saw too what she was looking at. 'Oh, you have found it...'
She looked at him, his expression was sad, 'You knew?' She said, her teeth now chattering.
'I heard about it, but I haven't seen it before now.' He said quietly.
'Oh god...' She moaned.
'Come on Lily, you're lips are turning blue, you have to get dried up.' He said while pulling at her arm with enough force to stand her back up on her feet.
She allowed him to wrap an arm around her waist, steadying her as they slowly walked back towards the house.
They were silent as they reached the gravelled driveway. She looked down to put on her shoes when she was abruptly swept off her feet and into Kenzo's arms.
She yelped, 'Kenzo!'
He continued walking her to the house, 'I don't want you to hurt your feet and you need to get out of the rain.'
He brought her inside the house in a just a few strides of his long legs. He put her down gently and closed the door behind him.
'I'll call for someone to run you a bath, wait here.' He ordered. Closing the umbrella and letting it fall on the floor he ran off quickly towards the maid's quarters.
Lily couldn't stop shivering. Her teeth were chattering so hard it almost made an echo in the hall. Also what on earth was Kenzo doing out there in the cold and rain? She pondered to herself.
'Miss?' Came a voice behind her.
Lily turned stiffly towards it and found Betrum the butler eyeing her with concern.
'Are you alright? May I assist you in anyway?'
She wiped some wet strands of hair that had been stuck onto her face out of the way, 'y-you...' She breathed in trying to control her teeth from chattering, 'you could tell me what you know about the grave at the Koi pond for starters...' She said with a shaky voice.
The Butler's eyes widened with surprise, 'Grave? I assure you Miss I do not know of what you speak.'
She nodded, must really be a secret then between L and Watari then she thought feeling sick. 'Alright well, I am just going to freshen up and I'll be on my way, would you tell my driver to leave my bags inside the car...' She asked politely.
Bertum bowed, 'Of course Miss.' Then turned on his heel and out of the door.
She started to make her way up the stairs, feeling guilty about the drips she was leaving on each step. She prayed she didn't run into anyone, it was a huge house, but there were children everywhere.
She reached her bedroom and thanked god no one had seen her. She opened the door and found a maid smiling at her, 'Your bath is all ready for you Miss.' She said pleasantly handing her some fresh towels.
'Th-thank you.' She forced a smile, that was quick she thought...
She watched the maid leave and shut the door behind her. She sighed as she peeled her dress off of her dropping it to the floor. Her body was freezing.
It took some time for her skin to grow accustomed to the hot water. She shook her head, still shocked to her core. The grave was there, just as Suri had said. But could she truly believe because of L that Constance had hung herself? She wiped her tears away, frustrated with herself for always breaking down so much.
She was a coward, she didn't want to face L, she just wanted to leave, to go back to her old life, before this all started. How could she have ever believed she could keep a man like L happy anyway? He was not normal, far, far from it and she was a just a plain, panic infused, trainee psychiatrist. None of this should have ever happened.
When her skin had started to prune she had decided to finally lift herself from the bath.
She then proceeded to pack up all her belongings, thankfully it wasn't much.
She dried her hair, looking at herself in the mirror, wondering why she had allowed herself to get into such a mess. But she fell in love with him; he was almost addictive to be around she didn't want to be away from him... it dawned on her how Constance could have felt the same way.
With that thought she packed up her hairdryer and made towards to the door.
She opened it to find Kenzo standing there seeming just about to knock. 'Hi...' He smiled slyly.
'Hi..' She greeted back, she really wasn't in the mood to talk.
Kenzo looked down to her feet and noticed the bags, he cocked an eyebrow when he looked back at her, 'Going somewhere?' He asked curiously.
Lily bit her lip, feeling ashamed of herself, 'Yes, I am going back home.'
'What about L's treatment?' He asked, giving nothing away, however from the tone casual tone of his voice she didn't think he really cared.
'There isn't anything else I can do for him; I am only a trainee after all.' She said defensively.
'I thought you loved him?' He asked suddenly.
She snapped her head up, she wanted to tell him to mind his own business, to sod of and go and screw some girl, but instead she found her lip had started trembling with tears starting to form in her eyes.
'Oh Lily, what happened?' He asked while taking her bag from her hand and chucking it on the bed behind her.
She shook her head, unable to speak, she just sobbed, she sobbed in front of Kenzo...not a high point in her life.
She allowed his strong arms to wrap around her in a hug; he swayed her gently side to side.
'Shh its okay, just let it out, it will make you feel better.' He whispered gently.
She buried head in his chest, she couldn't control the sobs, it was ridiculous, why was she reacting like this? She hadn't even spoken to L yet...
She hadn't realised until she looked up that Kenzo had walked her gently back into the room and closed the door behind them.
She looked up at him, 'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have cried like that.' She said pushing gently from his embrace.
But he held onto her, his eyes now hooded, he looked at her lips, 'Don't be silly; you can cry on me anytime, you shouldn't be with someone who causes you to feel like this Lily.'
Okay he was getting far too close now, 'It hasn't got anything to do with him.' She lied.
'Bullshit, I'm not a fool and your forgetting I can feel your energy, your emotions, it feels as if your heart is breaking.'
She looked down, damn him and his super weird powers...She attempted to push herself free again but he kept her pinned against him.
'He is the only one who could do this to you, you deserve so much better; he can't make you happy.' His voice was deep; he was becoming more and more...aroused?
She looked up at him, her brows now furrowed; she didn't like anyone speaking about L like that, no matter how she felt about him presently.
She opened her mouth to tell him where to go when he smashed his lips onto hers in a harsh kiss.
He moaned loudly, holding her arms at her sides, his grip almost hurt her.
Her eyes flew open, she tried to yell at him, but he kept kissing her, attempting to push his tongue into her mouth, she wouldn't let him in.
She squirmed and then stomped on his foot hard.
He instantly pulled back and released her. 'Lily, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself...' He stuttered.
She steadied her breathing, 'I want you to leave now.' She said trying to keep her voice calm.
He ran a hand through his long, red hair and looked down, 'I know I can make you happy Lily, you should be saving me, not him.' He said sounding so lost.
She didn't care though, not now in this moment, 'You don't realise what you have just done do you? I love L, I only ever want his lips to kiss me; for his hands to hold and touch me...you had no right, no right at all.' Her voice broke at the end, in truth Kenzo's lips were strong but soft, he was such a beauty of a male, tall, broad and his eyes were the most amazing eyes she had ever seen. But she felt nothing for him, her heart belonged to L and in that moment she felt pride within herself. She could have given in so easily to Kenzo, she could tell he would be an amazing lover, he would stroke and kiss her everywhere, he could give her what her body wanted, but not her heart. She had resisted him.
He shook his head, 'I know, I had no right, but I just don't understand it, why him?' He looked up at her his browns furrowed with confusion.
'I have already told you, I love him.' She said feeling her temper rising.
'No, it has to be more than that...but he doesn't deserve you.'
'Just get out Kenzo, thank you for bringing me back to the house and everything, but now you really need to get out.' She walked over to the door and pulled it open.
He started at her for a few moments then walked out. She slammed the door in his face as he turned back to look at her once more.
Lily managed to bring her bags down one flight of stairs and stop at the top of the other to rest. As she turned the corner she found Near standing at the bottom looking up at her. He was joined but another older gentleman with white subtle, greyish hair and a kind face.
'Ah you must be Doctor Everly I have heard so much about.' He gleamed at her.
She tucked her hair behind an ear as she spoke down to him, 'I think you may be referring to my mother, she is the real doctor, I am just the daughter in training.'
'Are you not the doctor who had been treating L?' He asked innocently.
'No, well yes...I mean my mother was the one treating him, but she was called away..'
'SO you are Lily then?' He smiled.
'Yes I am, but now I'm afraid I must be going, my time here is done.'
'What why?' Near asked, his voice sounded a little off.
She picked up her bags and carried on dragging them down behind her, 'because there is nothing more I can do for L, he needs a professional and that is not me.'
'I see, and what of your relationship?' Near inquired, yes he had to be talkative now didn't he?
She didn't answer and kept struggling down with her bags.
'Please allow me to assist you.' The kind faced man came up to her and took a hold of her two cases. 'I am Roger; I trust you have heard of me?' He asked as they walked down together.
'Yes, Watari has mentioned you, were you not at the temple with the younger children?' She asked finally making it downstairs.
'Yes but they wanted to come back so; they wouldn't stop badgering me about it.' He laughed a little and shook his head.
'Oh so they are all back? She instantly thought of Kiki.
'Yeah back to a full and noisy house.' Near moaned under his breath.
'Will you not stay for dinner Lily? Some of the children have been asking for you, they would love to see you before you go.' Roger smiled warmly at her.
Oh god, make her feel even more guilty will you? She shook her head, I'm afraid I can't, I have t get home to my mother.'
'But you said you were going to stay with L? What's happened?' Near again questioned.
'It's personal Near, I'm sorry I cannot go into details.' She snapped.
'Well I can't say I'm surprised, no one can put up with L for long.' He shrugged and wondered off down the hallway.
I could she thought, I would have put up with him for the rest of my life she thought.
'What is on your mind my dear? I can see something is troubling you...please won't you speak with me?' Roger gestured towards the reading room.
She wanted to shake her head but a part of her wanted to confide in someone who may actually know what went on; so she nodded and made her way to the reading room.
She sat down on another armchair, avoiding L's favourite one.
Roger sat down in front of her smiling, 'Now please, tell me what is on your mind.'
She fiddled with her fingers, 'I need to know who that grave belongs too out in the Japanese garden.' She asked quietly.
Roger sighed and shook his head sadly, 'Ah well that belongs to Constance Rose.' He said looking out into the garden through the huge windows.
The name, so it did belong to Constance. She swallowed, 'How did she die?'
Roger tutted 'she took her own life, it was such a shock and a tragic loss, no one saw it coming, not even L.'
No he wouldn't would he? She thought angrily. 'Who found her body?'
'I'm afraid I do not know, I wasn't here when it all happened you see and when I came back no one wanted to speak of it, they didn't want the children to be affected by it, even though they obviously were but most of them think she left, they didn't know about her suicide.' Roger shook his head again, 'such a tragic loss, she had a remarkable mind and seemed to take to L well.'
That sentence alone was enough to give her chest pains, 'So she spent a lot of time with L? She asked trying to keep her voice calm.
'From what I heard yes, but then again I wasn't here a lot of the time when she was, I'm afraid I am not much help am I?' He smiled sadly.
Her smiled mimicked his, 'No it's fine...' She went to stand up.
'Is that all you wanted to ask?' Roger said quickly.
'Yes, I can't really explain why, but I don't believe I will find what I am looking for here...'
She smiled again at him and walked towards the door.
'However.' Roger began behind her, 'If you so still wish to know more about Constance you should perhaps speak with Mello, I believe he had been dating her a few months before her death.'
Lily froze on the spot, she really didn't see that coming, but would she dare venture into that bastard's lair again for some answers that he probably wouldn't give her?
She smiled again at Roger. 'Thank you, you have been truly helpful.'
Hello everyone! thanking for reading this far into my story! I really hope you're enjoying it as much I love writing it!
Pleaase, please leave me reviews! Everyone always say reviess and comment help keep us writers motivated, well it;s true! haha. So please leave me a comment!
THey make me happy also! :P
