I wake up the next day with my phone going off. I reach over on the coffee table and pick it up. I see Austin's name flash across the screen and I sigh. I answer, "Yes?" I hear a sigh, "What is going on? Are you okay? Is the baby okay? No one will answer their phone and tell me anything." I sigh knowing Alex must have told him, "I am fine Austin. The baby is fine." I hear another sigh, "When are you coming home?" I close my eyes and lay back on the couch, "I don't know within a day or two but I want you out of the house when I get there." I hear a gasp, "Your kicking me out?" I sigh and look at the ceiling, "I don't know what I am doing with us yet Austin but yes in a way I am kicking you out. I know you still have your apartment from all those years ago, go there or rent or buy another house for right now. I need to be alone and think and I want to do it in my house." I hear another sigh, "Fine, I will call around today." I look to the steps and see Alex walking down looking exhausted "Sounds good. I will come home in two days that should be enough time for you." I hang up and look at Alex as he looks at me, "You're leaving?" I shake my head, "Can I stay for another two days first?" He laughs and nods, "Of course."
I watch him turn the corner and within a few minutes I hear his coffee pot going off. I hear it stop saying his cup is made. I watch him walk back in with a cup of orange juice and a cup of coffee. I smile and take the cup from him before he sits next to me with his coffee. "I have to leave for a little while today." I look at him a little confused and he takes a big drink before sighing, "I just shouldn't be here for a couple hours, you can all stay though." I shake my head, "We can all go out to lunch if you want." He smiles, "That sounds nice." I nod and drink the orange juice as I feel him watching me. "Yes?" He laughs, "Just trying to figure it all out." I laugh and look at him, "Figure out what?" He shakes his head, "All of it." I smile and look at him as he tries to explain what he is thinking but for the first time I see Alex at a loss for words.
He goes to talk but I hear feet and turn to see Aaron walking sleepily to me. I smile and place the glass on the table as he walks straight into my arms. I kiss his head, "What's wrong baby?" He looks up at me and yawns, "I don't feel good." I sigh and feel his head but everything seems okay. Alex looks at me and shrugs seeing that he seems fine to him as well. I lift him up onto the couch with me and he lies across my lap. I pet his hair as he falls back asleep with his head against my bump. I look at Alex and he smiles before standing up and walking to the kitchen. I pet Aaron's hair as he sleeps on me. I hear feet and see Aiden walk around the corner and smile at me. He looks at Aaron, "Is he okay?" I nod, "He says he doesn't feel good but I think he is just worked up." I watch him nod and look at me, "Do you want me to take him back to bed?" I nod and watch Aiden scoop him up and take off down the hallway with him. Alex walks back in and sits next to me. He looks more refreshed and looks more like Alex.
He sighs and leans back into the couch, "I should probably go get a shower." I nod, "Yeah I need one too but I just want to relax." I watch him nod and stand up and kiss my cheek, "Be back in a little bit." I watch him take off upstairs.
I lay back against the couch dozing off when I feel someone standing in front of me. I open my eyes and see Asher standing in front of me looking down at the floor. "What's wrong baby?" He looks up at me and I can see he is having trouble with something. He starts crying and falls to the floor laying his head in my lap. I look at him shocked and run my fingers through his hair. He looks up from my lap at me crying, "Are you leaving dad?" I look at him shocked and pull him to me hugging him, "Baby, don't worry about that. I'm just thinking, I have no idea what I am doing yet. Don't worry yourself about any of that baby." He cries into me and I hold him feeling my heart break, Asher never cries, he is so stubborn and strong. I don't think I can count the number of times he has cried to me on one hand. I hold him as he cries and run my hand in small circles on his back, "I love you mom but I love dad too." I pull him back slightly, "Honey, you will always love your dad no matter what and he will always be your dad. No matter what I choose or what we end up doing it does not change the way you and your father feel about each other and I would never expect it too. He is your father and that will never change no matter what." He nods and holds on to me as he cries into me again.
I see Aiden staring at me and he looks just as shocked as I feel. I shrug and he nods and walks away letting us have our moment. Since Asher got older he got where he didn't want anything to do with me, he wanted to do everything on his own. He looks up at me and wipes at his eyes, "I just don't want to lose my parents." I shake my head and kiss his head, "Whatever we decided on baby, you won't lose any of us. You will still have your father and you still will have me, the only thing that might change is us living together." He nods and looks at me, "You wouldn't be a Moon anymore." I laugh, "Are you worried about that?" He nods slightly and I smile, "I could always keep the name baby if that makes you feel better." He nods slightly and hugs me before kissing my cheek. "Thanks mommy." My eyes widen as he turns and walks away from me. He hasn't called me mommy since he was four.
"Did Asher just call you mommy?" I turn and see Aubrey staring at me shocked, I nod, "Yeah. He is upset. Did you mention to him about me thinking about divorce?" She shrugs, "I figured everyone knew." I sigh and shake my head, "Aubrey, I don't even know how in the world your brothers would know, you shouldn't even know." She shrugs and sits next to me, "My bad. I didn't know it was some secret." I sigh and rub my temples, "Just don't go around telling your brothers things that may or may not even be true. You upset them." She sighs and looks at me, "Mom, everyone has seen the way dad has been acting lately. I know he is still mad and upset with me for being pregnant. I know he doesn't want this baby to be here or anything but he is trying and I guess that is the point. I mean I don't like it either but it happened and I am owning up to the mistake I made." I watch her sigh and close her eyes. I pull her to me and kiss her head, "Honey, you are being so strong and I am so proud of you. Your father is stubborn and he likes things his way and this is not the way he wanted things." She looks at me, "I'm fine with it, so I don't understand why you are mad about it." I sigh and look at her trying to figure out how to explain this to her. I sigh and just take the simple route, "Because it is not what he should be doing and it is breaking a promise he made me." She looks at me and sighs before nodding and getting up, "When are we going back to the house?" I sigh and lean back feeling a headache come on, "In two days." She nods and stands up walking away.
I lay there and hear feet and hope I don't have to deal with anything else right now. I just need a minute. I see Alex and he smiles at me, "You okay?" I nod, "Just a lot going on." He nods and sits down next to me showered and dressed. "The kids seem to be taking this all hard, I think I need to go back home." He nods, "Okay." I stand up and look around, "I just need to call Austin first." I watch him nod and then stand up, "You are always welcome here. If you need to drop the kids off and come back, or just come back because it gets to be too much." I smile and kiss his cheek, "Thank you. " I walk into the kitchen and lean against the counter as I hit his name and wait for him to answer. Finally I hear his voice, "Ally?" I sigh, "The kids need to come home." I hear another sigh, "Then bring them home." I sigh, "Austin, I don't want to be there with you right now. I can't be there with you right now." I hear something and then, "What do you want me to do then Ally? Just bring the kids home, I will sleep in the guest room for a day or two if that is what you want." I shake my head, "Austin, I don't want to see you at all. I need to think and then we need to talk but first I need to think and I want to do that without having to see you at every turn." I hear something crash and then him cuss, "Fine, I can pack a bag and be out sometime tonight." I nod, "That will be fine." I look at the fridge and then decide to allow him some type of hope, "I can bring the kids by for a night or two if you want?" I hear something again and then, "Yes, of course. I will go to the apartment tonight and clear the deal on the house tomorrow and work on moving in right away so the kids can come over." I nod and look at the time, "Sounds good Austin. Bye." I hang up before I hear anything else or he tries to explain anything to me again.
Alex walks into the room, "Everything settled?" I nod, "Yeah." I watch him walk over to the keys and start to grab one, "I should be going but do you think the kids will want to come?" I nod, "Hold on." I smile, "LUNCH!" I hear feet moving and then almost as if on cue they all run into the kitchen even Aaron looking around for the food. I smile and look at him, "My kids are easy." He laughs and looks at all of them dressed, "I have to leave but I figured we could all go out to lunch." They all nod and I look down at the sweats and t-shirt I am in. "I should probably change." He laughs and holds out a bag, "Figured you would want to do that." I look in the bag and smile at a new pair of sweats and a flowing t-shirt that is made for a girl. I take the bag into a room and change. I pull my hair into a messy bun and slip my feet into my flip flops. I walk out and see my kids ready to go. We all walk outside and I get in my car and take Aiden, Aaron and Adam while Asher and Aubrey want to ride with Alex in his truck. We all drive off and I follow Alex to the restaurant he wants to go to.
We all walk in and sit around a table starting to talk and just enjoy time together.
After we eat and Alex insists on paying the bill we walk outside and get in the cars and I follow Alex down the road and back to his house. I park the car and get out walking into the living room. I look around and then at my kids. I watch Alex walk into the kitchen before I start, "I can tell you are having trouble being away from home and with everything that is going on. I think you need to go back home, so I am going to take you all back home tonight." I look at them look at each other and then Aubrey looks at me, "Is dad going to be there?" I sigh and shake my head, "No sweetie. He is going to his old apartment and he is getting a house. I will take you guys there to visit in a couple days." They all look up and nod at me before taking off to the rooms. "We can leave in a couple hours." I hear back mumbles and yeah's before I sit on the couch.
I look to the steps and get up and walk up the steps. I walk down the hallway and turn to walk down my hallway when I see Alex standing in his door way. I smile, "Hey, I thought you were downstairs." He shakes his head and smiles, "No." I look down at my clothes and think about how he rushed me to the hospital and took me and my kids in taking care of us, no questions asked. I look at him and try to figure out what to say.
Alex's POV….
I stand there watching her. I can tell she is trying to figure out how to say something. She looks up at me before looking back at her clothes, "I just don't know how to thank you for everything you have done for me." I smile and shake my head, "No need." I kiss her cheek and watch her turn and head to her room, "I just need to lay down for a little bit." I walk into my room and look around before lying down on my bed and closing my eyes needing everything to drift away for a while.
I wake up hearing noise. I sit up and yawn before getting up and walking down stairs to see the kids on the couch watching television. "What are you guys doing?" They look back at me, "Watching a movie." I sit down and look around, "Want some pizza for dinner?" I watch as they all nod and I get up and order some pizza. I sit back and wait for the food to come.
I hear a knock on the door and get up from a very interesting movie. I open the door and see a guy about sixteen looking behind him. He looks at me and smiles, "Nice cars." I laugh and hand him the money, "Thanks. Keep the change." He smiles at the tip I just gave him, "Thank you." I turn with the pizza and close the door. I place the pizza on the table and grab paper plates and drinks. We all start to eat and finish the movie when feet are heard on the steps. I turn and see Ally walk down yawning. "I thought I smelt pizza." I laugh and watch as she sits in the recliner with a plate of food. As the movie finishes I look at the kids as they start to discuss the movie and how they liked certain parts and didn't like others.
Ally stands up and looks at the time, "We should probably be getting home guys, it's late." They all stand up and hug me. I smile and hug Ally. I kiss her cheek and she smiles at me, "Thank you for everything Alex. I really appreciate it." I smile and shake my head, "It was nothing, I enjoyed the company and being able to hang with the kids." I watch her laugh before she stands on her toes and kisses my cheek. "Come over for dinner soon." I nod and watch her walk out the door and get in her car. I close the door after seeing her back out of my driveway and down the road. I sigh as I look at my house and hear the quietness take over. For the first time ever I think my house is too big for just me.
Ally's POV…
I pull up to the house and see Austin's car gone. I get out and the kids walk ahead of me and into the house. I walk in slowly and look around seeing everything as I left it. The house is clean and I don't see anything that broke.
I yawn and walk upstairs and into my room and see a note on the bed.
Ally,
I know you are mad at me right now. I can't fix what you are mad about and I can't fix what has happened. All I can try to do is say I am sorry and that I know I screwed up. I love you and I still remember my vows I made all those years ago and I know I haven't kept to them the way I should have but that was my mistake and I am so sorry. I love you and our kids more than anything in this world. I would give up everything for you guys. I found a house to move into and I will send you the address when I have the keys. I really want to work on this and work on us. I want to move past all of this and be happy again.
Love,
Austin the screw up.
I sigh as I look at the letter again. I place it on the dresser and walk over to the bed and lay down on my side. I look around the room and it does feel kind of empty. I hear noise and see Aubrey in the door way, "Dad left letters for all of us." I nod, "I got one too, it's okay baby." She nods and looks at me, "Goodnight mom." I smile, "Goodnight sweetie." I watch her turn and walk down the hallway to her room. I look around and sigh; I wonder what he put in everyone's letters.
I turn the light off and close my eyes wondering what is in the letters and what has been going on for all these years of our marriage that I don't know about.
