Hey, I'm knackered! Strength training was hardcore today! It hurts to even type! Lol.

Hope you like the next chapter.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Daisy x

Santana.

If you're reading this...my plan worked.

I know you're gonna be angry right now. I know you hate me right now. But please know I love you. I love you so much Tana.

I know you've probably cried and screamed and kicked and punched. But I need you to relax, I need you to rest and recover.

You were the most important person in my life. The only true friend I had. You were the family I wished for. The home I could escape the cold in. You were my everything San. You were my sister.

You took away all the pain, you made my memories fade. Fuck, you gave me hope. I love you for that.

We should have been unstoppable. But life had to throw more shit our way. It had to try and take you from me...please, don't hate me...But I couldn't let it.

I found out I was a donor match an hour ago. You're down there on the first floor, some fuckin machine breathing for you. Pumping you full of all these different coloured drugs. It's insistent beeping constantly reminding me that your drifting away from me.

I'm too afraid to even touch you. Your hands and arms have swollen up, your mouth has this fuckin tube going into it...I keep wondering when they'll brush your teeth.

Stupid. I know.

I can't imagine my life without you.

So I have to do this.

I'm nothing San. I'm a waster. I'm just taking up space on this planet.

You though...you are destined for greatness. Your one of a kind. So special. The world would be a darker place if it lost you.

So I'm making sure that doesn't happen.

I will always be with you Santana. Whispering in your ear, pushing you forward. Making you reach for the stars.

I'll be with you when you need to talk, to cry or to scream. All you have to do is speak to me, I promise I'll listen.

And I'll be with you when you laugh, when you accomplish your dreams, when you smile. Even when you finally marry that girl of yours, I'll be with you.

I'm in your heart Santana. I'm guiding you.

I love you so, so, so much.

I'm with you always.

Lots of love

Addison...your sister.

Santana wiped away her tears. She had read that stupid letter a hundred times, but it never got any easier.

Brittany and Rachel had left just over an hour ago, Quinn offering to drive them home. Her girlfriend was oddly quiet after she had returned from sorting clothes and towels out for the dancer. The latina was sure that's why she was so adamant on driving her home. She assumed the blondes were going to be having a heart to heart.

So Santana decided to crawl into bed, but she couldn't stop the guilt from her harsh tone with Addison early stop gnawing at her stomach. Sighing loudly and throwing the covers back she stood, and marched to the taller girls closed bedroom door. The tattooed girl hadn't come out once since she returned and it both worried and annoyed the latina. Without knocking she burst through the door, her heart breaking at what she saw.

Addison was curled up in the middle of her bed wearing a spongebob square pants tshirt and boy shorts. Her damp hair draped messily over her shoulders and her eyes shut tightly. She was muttering to herself, Santana could pick up random apologies, plea's to leave her alone and promises to be good. She knew the girl got lost in her own memories when she was beating herself up over something. Taking a breath, the smaller girl slowly climbed onto the bed behind her and gently wrapped her body around the shaking girl. "shh baby girl. It's ok. You're safe.". She cooed, pressing kisses to damp hair. Addison tensed for a moment before relaxing. "What's got you so upset babe.". Whispered the latina, pressing another kiss to her hair.

Addison shrugged a little and tried to slow her breathing. She was dangerously close to a panic attack and didn't want to break down in front of her friend a second time that day. "It's nothin San.". She mumbled pulling away from the smaller girl and swinging her legs over the side of th bed to sit up.

"Don't shut me out Addy...is it before...how I, how I spoke to you?". The brunette noticed her friends shoulders tense. "I'm sorry, I was just tired babe.". She added softly as she too sat up.

Addison turned to face the tan girl and crossed her legs. "It's not that Tana...that was nothing.". Her green eyes darted to her hands in her lap as she started to fiddle with the hem of her top. "S...something happened...and I fucked up..I fucked up and you're gonna hate me.". Her voice was so small. It reminded Santana of a little girl.

Reaching out, the latina lifted her friends chin, gently stroking a tear away with her thumb. "Whatever it is Addy...however you think you've fucked up, I won't ever, ever hate you.". She lowered her hand and grasped the younger girls newly uncasted one.

Addison shook her head and dropped her gaze. Taking a shuddering breath she spoke. "Britt...Brittany kissed me..a..and I kissed her back.". Santana snatched her hand away and Addison's head snapped up. Neither girl spoke. The tattooed girl afraid to and the brunette too shocked.

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"just what were you thinking Brittany!.". Hissed Quinn as she changed lanes. She had just dropped Rachel home and was now driving the blonde back to her hotel. "You kissed Addison.".

"I know.". Mumbled the blonde.

"Santana's best friend Addison!".

"I know.".

"My girlfriend's sister Addison!.".

"I know Q.". A pause. "wait...WHAT!?".

Quinn flinched at the squeak that emitted from her best friend. "My girlfriend.". She looked over to the blonde. "We made it official just after you and your new interest went out for a run!". She a smile spread across her lips.

Brittany blushed a little and looked out of the window. "I'm happy for you both Quinn. I'm glad she...I'm glad you both found each other again.". She turned and smiled at her friend, even though the shorter blonde was concentrating on the road.

Quinn blindly reached a hand over to the dancers knee and squeezed. "Thanks B. It means a lot.". Quickly checking her blind spot the girl cut across three lanes of traffic and successfully navigated into the drop off point of Brittany's hotel. Putting her car in neutral she turned in her seat slightly and gave the blue eyed girl a stern look. "Why did you kiss her?".

Brittany shrugged. "It was like I just couldn't not kiss her!". She insisted. "Like our lips were magnets and they were just drawn to each other.". Her ears tinged pink at the memory.

"I honestly don't know what to say Britt...". Quinn shook her head slightly. "Addy is a complex girl...she's, she's been through so much already. I can't stand by and watch you use her to warm your bed just to drop her when you run off on tour again.". Her tone was stern. She was adamant that the younger girl would not get hurt.

"It's not like that Q...we only kissed". The blue eyed girl became frustrated with herself. "But..I...I really like her. Even if she is scary...she's just...hot and deep and I wanna get to know her..all of her.".

Quinn nodded along, she could see the attraction. Addison was indeed special, but she wasn't sure if it was such a good idea for the dancer. "If you wanna pursue this Britt...I suggest you talk to San.". She reached over the console and wrapped the taller girl in a hug. "Without her approval, nothing will ever happen.". She smiled softly leaning back into her own seat.

Brittany nodded and with another quick hug, a rushed thanks, and a kiss to the cheek she was bounding out the car and up to her hotel room. Ready to speak to the latina. Over the phone. Where she couldn't be hurt. Unless San knows that mind choke thing that darth vadar guy can do...I hope she doesn't.

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"Say something San...please." begged Addison. Her eyes filling with tears. Santana was pacing the younger girls room. Shaking her head.

"Anyone but Brittany Addison...you of all people should know that!". Hissed the latina. "I just don't understand...I...how!?". She asked angrily, pausing at the foot of the girls bed.

"I...I don't know San...she just kissed me..and it felt...fuck, it felt good.". The green eyed girl shook her head. "And I HATE myself for enjoying it...I feel like the worst..". A lump formed in her throat. "I feel like the worst friend...like a pathetic friend.". She lowered her head, hiding teary eyes. "I'm sorry San...Nothing else will happen, I promise.". She finished mumbling.

"I believe you Ad's...I just don't...it hurt that you...I don't know how to feel". Finished the latina after stumbling over her words. "Brittany destroyed me Addison, and I know that I'm starting this friendship...again with her...but I don't think I'm ready to see her dating my best friend..I...ugh! I just don't know!". She threw her hands into the air, dropping them with a huff as she walked over to her friends side. "Do you like her like that...I , I don't wanna stand in your way of happiness.".

The mousey blonde raised her gaze to her best friends eyes. "I don't know San...I know I've met her countless times and I haven't punched her.". She shrugged and smiled wryly as Santana giggled. "I know she's actually pretty fuckin hot.". She paused and looked seriously at the latina "I also know that my heart beats faster when I see her, it feels electric when she touches me...and she is the best kisser...but then again, all I got goin for comparing kissin is my father and about 20 drunken fucks I barely remember.". The taller girl fell back onto the bed. "I don't know San...I just, I'm a terrible friend...I just feel like a traitor.".

Santana crawled onto the bed and snuggled into the younger girls side. "No babe.". She said wrapping her arm around the toned torso of Addison. "You're like, the fucking opposite of a bad friend...what you were willing to do for me.". She shook her head and planted a kiss to the taller girls neck, the only place she could reach. "I think maybe I should talk to Britt...lay some ground rules.".

Addison tensed. "what are you sayin Tana.".

"I'm sayin, maybe its time I finally let that hurt go...life's to short babe.". She smiled softly into her best friends chest. "now I'm tired. Less talky more sleepy...we'll talk more later.".

Addison giggled. "You're so badass Tana.". She said, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl.

The duo drifted off to sleep wrapped safely in each others arms. Unaware of the hazel eyed blonde smiling gently from the doorway. Quinn quietly turned away and pulled up Brittany's number on her phone. Pressing call, she smiled as Brittany answered.

"Hey honey.". She greeted.

"Q..hey...whatsup?..its been like 30 minutes since I saw you."

"Ah, I have news for hour yellow belly self!". Giggled the shorter blonde.

"Yellow belly...". There was rustling on the line. "Q my belly isn't yellow!". Replied the dancer in a perplexed tone.

"Forget it Britt." laugh Quinn. "San's on board with your little crush on Addy...and I think our little boxer feels the same.".

"Oh..wow...I was gonna call S...should I still..I..what do I do!?". Stutrerd the taller girl.

Quinn smiled slyly. "I have an idea...I wanted to take San away anyhow...you ok for a weekend know the country."

.

"yea..I guess...why?.".