"I remember one desolate Sunday night, wondering: Is this how I´m going to spend the rest of my life? Married to someone who is perpetually distracted and somewhat wistful, as though a marvelous party is going on in the next room, which but for me he could be attending?"
― Suzanne Finnamore
Our restaurant was failing. I tried my best to be a good husband to Sasha. Supportive. Shit wasn't easy when you are always feeling berated for the smallest of things. I knew she was disappointed but the type of place she wanted and had wasn't meant for the hick town we were in and we were going under fast if we didn't make some reasonable changes.
How did I know shit was off? I found out Sasha was bringing sandwiches down to the station. Customers got the word and began calling for delivery and advanced order because they got the impression that we were offering an option other than having to dine inside.
Yeah. Sasha was taking sandwiches down to the station a few times for everyone and then it was just for my friend Rick. I confronted Sasha about it. I did it in a roundabout way asking her why people would think we had a delivery service and she just shrugged.
Rick called me. I almost didn't answer his call. I was stressed out trying to figure out how Sasha and I were going to keep the little restaurant going and still keep a roof over our heads and to top things off our back up cook had just quit.
Anything that comes out of Rick's mouth, I have to believe is the truth. I let it marinate in my brain longer than I should. What I didn't need was for Shane to make a beeline to my home while Sasha was out. Shane wanted to show me the note that was attached to the half of a sandwich. He ate the other half. I didn't need Shane to tell me some shit, and then Michonne shows up ready to drag my wife from around the counter. The dinner was unusually packed that day. I felt nothing but eyes. Eyes were everywhere but yet we had a sign up saying we're closed and I immediately tell Michonne.
"We are closed."
"I don't give a shit."
"Michonne?"
"Where's your wife?"
"Where's Rick?" I was nervous. A pissed off Michonne is a frightening sight to behold. The way Lori looked after a beat down from Michonne, there was no way I was going to allow her to get to Sasha. No Way!
"Daryl if you don't move out my way I will fuck you up." Michonne stood at the diner counter.
"Michonne. I am not going to let you do it. I am not going to let you beat my wife like you beat Rick's wife, Lori in Japan. I-"
That woman had me in a chokehold so fast I was gasping for air. Michonne was breathing heavy in my ear.
My eyes flew open. I was in my bedroom. I didn't recognize where I was until the ceiling became clearer inside of our manufactured home. The slow realization that it was just a dream was a relief.
Sasha's was next to me, playing with herself. Her eyes were closed. I guess she didn't realize I had awakened. Her breathing was what was in my ear. Heavy.
I can't speak for other men, but the thought of losing my wife was hard to think about, and it hurt like hell. It was more than sex, and somehow we became incompatible because her mind wasn't right. Her mind had to be with me, and it wasn't. I began talking back with Carol some nights on the phone. Catching up on things. Carol had started calling me out of the blue. Funny how exes come out of the woodwork.
I surprised Sasha that night though. I helped finish her off more than I would have ever done before. I didn't ask for my own release. I didn't want it. Just wanted my Sasha to be satisfied. That morning I surprised her again. I packed my bags and left.
"Michonne is an actual lawyer?"
"Benton is on the sign believe it or not. Right on the building and door."
"Get out of here," Daryl really believed Rick was joking at first.
"I have never been to a set up like it. Every office is made of glass except a couple of them, and there is one guy you have to take your shoes off to step inside. A few of them wear gloves and-."
"There's more people like Michonne that work for her?" Daryl asked.
"Work for her, with her. She isn't the only name on the door. Some of them are associates."
"What happened?"
"That is for Michonne to tell you if she wants you to know, but she works with a woman named Andrea who has cleaning rituals with her hands, well I will let Andrea tell you what her thing happens to be if-"
"Are you trying to fix me up you son of a bitch?" Daryl was instantaneously suspicious.
"What the hell? Aren't you trying to work shit out with Sasha?" Rick was surprised by the accusation.
"Nah. Sasha is trying to work shit out with me." Daryl corrected Rick's assertions.
"I was only mentioning Andrea because she is looking for a handyman. If you are really back to the Handy business, she is looking for someone that can follow the rules if you come inside her place."
"Oh," Daryl responded quietly.
"How's the restaurant?"
"Our restaurant doing better. Things picking up. We had to add delivery."
"Are you still staying by Shane's?"
"Yeah. He toned down a lot. Not the same Shane."
"Lori has a way of doing that to a man."
"Still can't believe you haven't kicked his ass."
"I am not going to fight over Lori, about Lori or around Lori."
"I know you would fight over Michonne," Daryl said with certainty.
"I will fight to protect Michonne. I can't imagine any fair fight where I was trying to keep her from walking away from me. That would kill me. I would be no good to anyone if Michonne left me."
"I had to leave Sasha. The only thing I could think to do to get her to wake up and maybe fight for me. I know you don't want Sasha and there was no funny business involved. I know that. I believe it. You-"
"You know I would never-"
"Anyone with any sense could see you only got eyes for Michonne. I would say anyone with two eyes, but my Sasha saw y'all shit with her own two eyes and still thought she had a chance with you in the sack, so I say sense."
"I had to tell you." Rick swallowed hard.
"A few other people after you had to tell me too. A couple of them had got her note that was meant for you including Shane. Shane was one of them. I appreciate you telling me most of all."
"I would never, you know."
"You ain't the problem, Rick. The problems lie in if you were willing, Sasha would have been ready. I asked her did she give any thought about Michonne."
"What she say?"
"No. Sasha said it had nothing to do with Michonne or wanting what Michonne had it was just some bullshit about desire and feeling alive. I went deaf. Marriage counseling is tough. Listening is fucking exhausting. You said you and Lori used Deanna's services?"
"A waste of fucking time and money. I wasn't trying to stay with Lori. You are trying to stay with Sasha, right?"
"Why do you keep saying the shit the way you do? She wants to get me to stay with her. She is trying to get back with me. What I look like staying with a woman envying shit that is going on over here? She thinks shit worked out for Michonne in the end. The Chaos. You still trying to hold shit together keeping Michonne safe and shit like you got a fortress around this damn house and there are monsters at the gates trying to break it down and whisk Michonne on up out of here."
"I won't tell you not to fight for your marriage. Deanna's good. My marriage wasn't what I wanted to work on, but I do know even though I was broken, I was going to take some of that stuff I learned and be really good to Michonnne."
"We will get through this. How's Michonne taking it?"
"I had to tell, Michonne," Rick admitted.
"How'd she take it?"
"She shrugged talking about she wasn't surprised because people show you who they are if they drink from your water bottle without asking."
"Daryl, please don't leave," Sasha begged that morning.
"Why would I stay, Sasha?"
"We can work through this, I promise."
"I ask you to give me a reason to stay, and you can't give me any? You got to want to work through this Sasha. Not me."
"Daryl-"
"I know there is a saying about not to hold on to someone that ain't holding on to you, but I will be damned if I wait around for you to walk out on me."
"I'm not letting go of you, Daryl. I am right here. I am not leaving you. I am here." Sasha cried out her plea.
"Your body is here, Sasha." Daryl pointed to his temple, "But you checked out here," He then pointed to his heart, "And you trying to break this. I ain't got time for it. Rick's my motherfucking friend, and I thought, Michonne was your friend, Sasha."
Sasha was in tears. She was sobbing, and her thoughts were as incoherent as her words. She didn't expect the confrontation. Not first thing in the morning. Not after all the foreplay and oral, he performed on her.
"I am not going to fight for this marriage, Sasha. You are going to have to fight for me."
