This has nothing to do with the story but i felt like i wanted to post it here. It's short and it explains how i'm feeling at the moment.
I'm heartbroken, i really hope you guys read till the end because it would be very encouraging to have some...comforting words from those i don't know. weird i know but it would be nice. thank you
I sat by my bed, tissues scattered the carpet floor and I furiously stared at my black mobile phone which was held so tightly in my hands.
This feeling of uncertainly and discomfort stayed within me as I tossed and turned at night, and here I am. On my Bed hoping, hoping that something would light up my day. Instead of my usual clothes I wore to sleep, I wore his shirt which left a comforting smell on my skin. It was the shirt he gave me which used to belong to him, of course i requested for it, it brought back memories. Like when we stood side by side smiling with our fingers entwined, thinking about our future, sharing with one another but most of all, our first kiss together. It was quick and unexpected, but funny of all was I kiss him, comforting even though he didn't know what to do. My body fitted perfectly in his embrace but now, I don't have that anymore.
I stared up at the ceiling , not understanding why this had to happen, I refused to cry even though I wanted to. I wanted to do so much with him like going to the amusement together, watch the stars, watch our favourite animes together but everything that I wanted I will never get-I will never get it with him.
Right now I wanted to do but scream and thrash around hoping that my solution would appear before me. Too bad life doesn't work that way.
Why did I feel that way? Knowing that it may sound stupid as I am only 17 but I love him. I truly do. If only he listened to me and stayed away from drugs and excessive drinking, we wouldn't be in this situation.
I love him and I will never regret it.
I'm sitting here typing this because I feel like I need to get this emotion out, yes I'm holding down my tears but inside it feels like tears cannot describe how deeply hurt I am. I plan to give him space and wait. I will wait until Saturday for his news. He's planning to talk to a good friend of mine we both know, hoping that he will come to his senses and get back on the right track. I wouldn't have to go through all this pain but I choose to, because I love him.
People say that it may be stupid and inexperience of me to say ' I love you' but I know the feeling. I haven't had this feeling for a very long time and I know…when it's love. It's indescribable but I'll try my best to explain.
It's the feeling of wanting to protect him, comfort him, support him no matter what, the craving of his touch and voice, the sensation of happiness when he walks into the room and it's a smile that can light up my world.
I have all the photos we ever took on my usb and when it's truly over, I plan to….no not burn it or throw it away, but hide it in a place where I will forget. I will not say where but I will really forget it and maybe one day when my feelings are put right and safe, I will stumble across this usb and remember the good times.
It was something i wrote really quickly because i didn't want the feeling to leave just yet until i was finish.
reviews. ;(
exp.
