Alyssa tried to line up the facts as Razi was led away. Someone had killed Elaine. That someone was probably still in the castle, given, A, the relatively recent time of death the professors had muttered about, B, the current lockdown of the school, and C, the anti-apparition wards. She supposed they could have snuck through the secret passages, but surely they would have concealed Elaine's body better if they had.

"Alyssa," Josh said quietly.

She ignored him. The hasty concealment of Elaine's body meant either the person who had killed her had been surprised one way or another: had they meant to kill her but heard Razi and Ellison coming down the hallway, or had killing her been an accident?

"Alyssa," Josh said again.

People liked Elaine. The Gryffindors had made a pet of her early on; the Ravenclaws had applauded her skills on multiple occasions; Ellison had more than enough sway in Hufflepuff for all he was a third year, and Elaine was just likeable anyway.

It had happened in the dungeons, and Slytherin had never quite forgiven Elaine for being able to take care of herself instead of knuckling under. But no one wanted Josh angry with them either, and he had made it clear that Elaine was one of Alyssa's friends and therefore untouchable.

They were leaving this year, though. She was so stupid, she had thought about it before, she'd known Josh's influence wouldn't last past graduation, that was why she was going to break up with him –

"Alyssa," Josh said for a third time, and she looked up at him. "Are you all right?"

One friend was dead, one was unsafe, the others hated her. If one of her friends hadn't been safe, why would the others? Razi could be next, and he wanted to know if she was all right?

"No," she said, and turned on her heel. The Slytherins wanted to take everything she had, didn't they, right down to the friends they would have kept if they had been decent human beings. How many would it have taken, to beat Elaine? How many before the wards and tricks Razi had taught her had failed?

How many, to decide that Alyssa's protection wasn't enough to stop them even trying?

The door slid open, though she couldn't remember saying the password. Mierin looked up when she came in.

"Lyss?" she asked, putting her book down and leaning forward, a frown marring her usual expression of casual boredom.

Alyssa ignored her, too. The common room was a hive of activity, the only empty seats around Mierin, everyone crowding into the corners or the other sofa groupings. Alyssa glanced behind her when she didn't see Mulciber: he stood directly behind Josh, frowning at her.

She looked back around the room. It didn't seem as if everyone had heard yet – or maybe they just didn't care. She considered the thought and shelved it for a later date. Irritation was prominent, even in the students who moved so that Mierin could cross to them without elbowing her way through. Douglass joined them with less elegance, Dolohov (now the only) edging to stand at Josh's elbow. Snape sat squished into the edge of a sofa, where he ignored everyone and was ignored in return. Nothing unusual –

Rowle stood crammed into a corner, arms wrapped around himself. His eyes darted this way and that, and he jumped when Graille tried to talk to him. One of the fifth years who pulled at the yoke, unwilling to truly upend the status quo but maybe to bend it a bit, trying Josh's patience every other week or so as if to prove that he wasn't really afraid. He would have to do better than that if he wanted to take over when Josh left.

Something like, say, ignore which muggleborns were off limits.

Alyssa smiled. She knew something about it was off – Mierin was usually pleased to see her smile, but now she frowned harder and reached as if to take Alyssa's elbow. Alyssa shrugged her off and walked easily across the room, unknowing and uncaring if the other Slytherins parted because of her or because Josh and Mierin followed her.

"Hello, Rowle," she said.

He looked at her. She looked at him. He was afraid and trying to hide it, pupils dilated and hands held tightly between his elbows and his body.

Had it been an accident? She supposed it probably had been, looking at him. Alyssa considered whether or not she cared. Rowle might not have meant to kill Elaine, but all evidence and precedent showed that he meant to hurt her. And, too, it might have been slightly personal, but the root of all of it was Rowle had been trying to prove a point to Josh. He hadn't thought of Elaine as a person at all, just as a means to an end.

So it had been an accident, the killing? Alyssa decided she didn't care.

"Blythe," he said finally, after glancing quickly at Josh.

"Did you have fun today?" she inquired, and watched him squirm.

"Listen," he began. The idea that he might try to explain killing Elaine, explain treating her like a toy to steal to bother someone, explain why the three years of Alyssa's life had she'd given away for the purpose had achieved absolutely nothing...

She had given up friends for this. She had given up the respect of people like Potter and Black and Evans and Lupin and Tonks and Ellison, decent people, and peace of mind, and little things like sleeping spread eagle alone in a bed. She had given up her brother even, who she only saw on holidays and who always looked at her as if he was waiting for her to think something horrible or say something horrible or do something horrible. It was all supposed to be worth it, because Elaine and Razi and even Vanessa were supposed to be safe.

Nobody was. Nobody would be, except this boy who had decided that her friend was worth less than he was because his family had been doing mediocre magic for centuries. Well. She was going to make him a little less safe.

She drew her wand, cutting off the words she hadn't been listening to, and said, "Crucio."

He fell, writhing, though no sound emerged. Alyssa wondered, watching him with head cocked to the side, cold fury freezing her face into that smile, whether it was his usual response to pain or if she had only cast the spell that strongly.

A hand closed on her wrist. Another pried her wand from her fingers. Alyssa spun to face Mierin, who kept pulling until Alyssa took a reluctant step away from Rowle.

"If you keep doing that," she said, "You'll get caught. Come on."

"He killed Elaine," Alyssa told her.

"I know," Mierin replied. "He said. Come on, come back to the dorm with me."

"I'll take care of it," Josh said. Alyssa glanced at him: he watched her carefully, as if he thought she would break. Mulciber, over his shoulder, stared at her with undisguised delight. Douglass had edged away, eyes wide. Only Dolohov watched Rowle where he lay on the floor.

"Alyssa, come on," Mierin hissed. "You're clever, but if you've figured it out-"

The door to the common room slid open. Alyssa heard Mierin hiss something.

"Professor," Josh said as the student took themselves to the sides of the common room, leaving a wide, clear path for Dumbledore, McGonagall, Slughorn, and people who were presumably aurors to stride directly to the group of people around Rowle.

"May I see your wand, Mr. Rowle?" Dumbledore asked.

Rowle, panting on the floor, managed, "What?"

"Your wand, Rowle," McGonagall said, her own wand in her hand.

"I want to lodge a complaint," Rowle gasped, staggering to his feet. "That girl – Blythe – she –"

McGonagall stepped between Josh and Mulciber and plucked Rowle's wand from his fingers, tossing it to an auror.

"Priori incantatum," the auror said, and Alyssa watched.

Elaine clawed at her throat in midair, blinking in and out of a hazy grey state. Alyssa supposed that meant some of the spells weren't Rowle's, but she was in no mood for the realization. She could figure out the others later.

She didn't have a clear idea of what she was planning, since Mierin had taken her wand, but she knew she wanted to put her hands around something and squeeze, professors and aurors be damned. Mierin and Josh caught her when she tried to go for Rowle again, though.

"I can't say he wouldn't deserve it, Miss Blythe, but muggle dueling is beneath you," the auror with Rowle's wand said as he stowed the wand in his robes.

"She doesn't have her wand at the moment, sir," Mierin said, as if the muggle dueling was the charge Alyssa needed defending against. "I think she left it after lunch – she didn't need it, she was done with NEWTs for the day."

"Left it in Ravenclaw tower?" the auror asked, as Rowle snapped, "That's not true!"

"Oh, no," Mierin said, eyes wide, casting an unsettled look at Rowle. "She stays with Avery, mostly. I don't know why-"

"She used an unforgiveable curse on me!" Rowle snapped. "Look, what I did was an accident, I just wanted to rough the kid up, but Blythe -"

"I don't know why he's trying to say anything about Alyssa," Mierin said, her grip changing so even Alyssa could tell that it had turned protective instead of restrictive. "He couldn't have picked a less believable person to accuse. Ask anybody."

"Aren't you arresting him for murder?" Mulciber asked, as if the thought had just occurred to him. "He's just trying to make himself look better. 'Oh look, I killed somebody, but I don't cast unforgiveables.'"

"As if we haven't seen him practicing," Dolohov said.

"Like you haven't," Rowle snarled. Beside Mulciber, Douglass put a hand to her throat, eyes dark pools of shock and hurt. They were eyes you wanted to trust. Alyssa thought coldly that maybe Douglass was, after all, a little bit dangerous.

"All of you lot, with your rules and -"

"I did make rules," Josh said, voice cutting through Rowle's tirade. "I said, no touching the muggleborns."

Silence reigned. Josh, an arm still wrapped around Alyssa, though made awkward by Mierin's refusal to release her, turned to the headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore, I must apologize. I didn't realize my fellow prefects weren't capable of keeping order when I wasn't around to keep an eye on things."

"Ah," Dumbledore said softly, eyes meeting Josh's. "I had heard of your particular skills at keeping order, Mr. Avery."

"I try," Josh said easily. "But in this case – I'm not too proud to leave it to the professionals."

"Indeed," Dumbledore replied, just as easily, and spun on his heel. "Greengrass. We will also need your wand, and your cooperation."

"It'll go easier with both," the auror said.

Alyssa couldn't help but feel cheated when the adults walked the murderers out the door. It was better than feeling whatever was rising up inside her. She couldn't put it off much longer, probably, but she was starting to feel almost like she had at the Dolohov's Christmas party three years ago, when Josh had tried his best to comfort her, only so much worse.

Stay back, she told the feeling firmly. I cannot deal with you right now.

She shook off Mierin and Josh both and asked, "Where's my wand?"

"Under Avery's pillow," Mierin said promptly, and followed her when she started walking. "Alyssa, slow down."

"No," Alyssa said, and walked faster. She could have asked Mierin to summon her wand, but she didn't want anyone's help right now. Once she reached the bed she threw the pillows aside, retrieved her wand, and turned back around, forcing Mierin to jump out of her way and striding past Josh where he lurked in the doorway.

"Where are you going?" he asked, but she kept walking until Mierin caught up and grabbed her arm.

"Alyssa –"

"I can't look at any of your faces right now," Alyssa told her, and left the common room.

It was a long walk up to Ravenclaw tower. Alyssa spent it trying not to be overwhelmed.

The eagle on the door eyed her beadily and said, "It brings back the lost as though never gone, shines laughter and tears with light long since shone; a moment to make, a lifetime to shed; valued in life but then lost when you're dead."

Alyssa stared at the eagle. The eagle stared back.

"Fuck you too," she told it, and stalked off to the astronomy tower, where she curled up against the rails she and Razi had leaned against that morning, and cried hot, viciously itchy tears.


The answer's memory, if anybody's curious.