Leia had asked Poe if there was some quiet place he knew where no one would disturb them. She didn't want to use her office in case someone interrupted them. So here they were now, on the shore of Lake Gemynd, Poe's X-34 behind them. The same place that Poe and Ben had discovered on their first exploration of the base. The same place that Poe had taught Finn how to skip stones.

Leia sat down, and Poe hesitated a moment before sitting down beside her in the soft tallgrass. He had so many questions, but he hadn't been able to ask any so far. When your world turns upside down, how do you know what to say? As gently as he could, he asked, "Leia, please . . . be honest with me. Is Ben Kylo Ren?"

Leia closed her eyes and nodded once. "It's not as simple as that, though." She opened her eyes and sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Kylo Ren is a cage," Leia said slowly. "The Ben Solo we know and love is trapped inside of him."

"Knew and loved," Poe corrected, the words coming out harsher than he'd intended. "Sorry, I didn't mean - "

Leia rested a hand on Poe's shoulder. "Poe, if I'm going to be honest with you, you've got to be honest with me." She stretched out her other hand, and a single stone lifted out of the water. She turned it over in the air, water droplets falling softly back into the lake, and brought it to Poe's hand. "I can see it in your eyes. You haven't let go of him. I don't need the Force to know that."

Poe didn't meet her eyes. He hugged his knees to his chest and studied the grey stone in his hand. "So it's all real, then? The Force? We both have it? And Ben does, too?"

Leia nodded again.

"Why?"

"That," she said, "is a long story."


I suppose this story begins around the same time of the Empire's end.

When you were about two years old, your mother, Shara, joined Luke on some sort of mission. I wasn't told what it was about, but later, I learned that they were trying to keep some Force relics - a pair of trees - from falling into the wrong hands. I'm not sure what Luke did with his tree, but he kept one and gave the other to your mother.

Luke taught me to use the Force, this strange gift that was given to us. Han and I married. Ben was born. A few years passed, and we were all still fighting remnants of the Empire - mostly just stubborn factions that refused to surrender to us. There was a ceasefire on Chandrila as the 501st Legion retreated, and Han, Ben, and I moved in by your family on Yavin IV. That was where a lot of the other retired Rebels were living, in a colony of sorts by the old base.

I think you and Ben actually met when you were about five or six. The two of you couldn't have been more different. At first, I thought it was just because you were older, but it was really just an innate difference. Ben was always energetic and chaotic, I guess, but you were calm and quiet. You didn't like each other very much as I recall. You two were always arguing or competing about something.

One day, you two were climbing the tree, the one that Luke had given your mother. I don't know why you two decided that it would be a good idea, whether it was for a race or a dare, but whatever it was, you fell. We heard you cry out, but we didn't know what had happened until Ben ran inside to get us. He was panicking and out of breath. When we found you, you weren't moving. Kes did a quick field check - it looked like you'd broken your back. Shara was about to call one of the medics in the colony when something strange happened.

Ben was crying really hard - that wasn't the strange part. But suddenly, he started asking someone to help you, to save you. At first, we thought he was talking to one of us. I was about to explain to him that we couldn't help you, but the medics would. He turned away from me and to the tree, telling it that he didn't mean for you to fall, that he just wanted to win and that it was just an accident.

That was when I first sensed that my son could feel the Force. Han tried to stop him, but then the tree responded. A couple of its branches bent down and picked you up. Shara and Kes were terrified; they had no idea what was happening to you. I don't know how to describe it. It was like I could feel the Force moving from the tree to your body, healing you and filling you with, I guess, a sort of light. Like I said, I don't know how to describe it. Luke had taught me to feel and control the Force, but this was something completely new.

After what seemed like an eternity, you woke up. The tree set you down, and you were able to stand. Ben hugged you so hard that I thought you might suffocate. After that, the two of you were inseparable. Later, Luke would say that the two of you formed a Force bond stronger than any he'd ever felt before.

Shara had called Luke and told him about what had happened to you. He was able to come about a month later. He looked you over, and he was, to be honest, pretty astounded. He, like me, felt something different about you. Instead of just feeling your presence, he said, it was like he was looking at the Force itself. We thought it stemmed from the fact that you weren't born with a sensitivity, but you gained one once you'd been healed. He offered you the opportunity to better understand your power, but Kes and Shara both felt like it was too early for you to make such a heavy decision like that.

About a year later, when you were seven, I think, your sister was born. I think you might have guessed already, but her name was Rey . . .

You absolutely adored her. Ben started to get jealous when she took up more of your time than he did. He got over it eventually.

Then, your mother got sick. No one knew what was wrong with her. It was like something was consuming her from the inside out, and, well . . . she died. I think you remember her sickness, but I'm not sure if you remember the next part.

Attacks started happening in the colony. More people started getting sick. Strange people in black cloaks and masks would raid us. They called themselves the Emperor's Inquisition. Fearing that this was somehow related to the Dark Side, Luke stayed with us for a while to offer us his protection.

Then Rey got sick. I remember you were so terrified. You'd just lost your mother; I don't think you could have stood to lose your sister as well. Kes went with Luke to find a solution, but they came up with nothing. We'd let Ben would go over to your house almost every night so he could keep you company. Not because you weren't capable or anything, but just because times were hard for both of you.

Luke eventually figured out that the Inquisition were Force users, and that they'd somehow harnessed the Emperor's residual Dark Force energies that had scattered since his death. He didn't know what to do, and Rey was only getting worse. He did what he could, but nothing seemed to work.

Then you stepped in. You weren't about to give up on your sister yet. I remember you took her out of Luke's arms and hugged her. You were humming something, some Yavin folk tune, I think. But suddenly, I could feel a change in the Force. The darkness and death that had been trapped inside of her was slowly, but surely, replaced with life and light. Your light. We knew then without a doubt that Luke was right - you were different from me or Luke or Ben in how we used the Force.

When you were about twelve or thirteen, Ben's power started to manifest more. Luke took the two of you under his wing, and he began to teach you to use the Force. From there, the New Jedi Order began to form. He found and trained more Force-sensitives, and the attacks from the Inquisition decreased. Then, he discovered the remnants of the Church of the Force on Jakku. He took his students there, including you and Ben. Both our families and a few others went with him, to try and establish good connections with the New Republic. Unfortunately, the Inquisition found us there. Luke later assumed that it was because such a large group of Force-users were gathered in the same place, and that made us a better target. It didn't matter.

The Force monks, though they did ally with us, couldn't save everyone. You and Rey were separated. You were distraught, and you left the order to become a pilot. You already loved flying, and you felt like there was something bigger you could do with it. With the Force on your side and a ship at your control, you quickly proved yourself right.

Kes wasn't exactly thrilled with your decision to become a soldier, as I recall. But I do remember him saying something along the lines of "if you're going to dedicate yourself to something, you need to see it through until the end." That's what you did. Kes asked Han to teach you all he could about flying and fighting in the air, and he did. Meanwhile, we had cleared enough of the Imperial influence to start turning more worlds to the New Republic. It was slow, but we were getting somewhere. Wedge Antilles and some of our other Rebel veterans created the New Republic Armed Forces. There wasn't exactly an enemy to fight or anything, so it was mostly for formalities.

The Core Worlds and the Mid-Rim were on our side, but we needed to do the one thing that the Old Republic could not: reach the Outer Rim. None of us were too keen on dealing with the smuggler cartels and Hutt lords, but we needed to be strong. We started with some of our old bases - Hoth, Endor, Yavin, you know the list. Kes and Han went on a scout mission to Raxus, but they were met with some hostility from the locals, some of which still remembered the Clone Wars. Your father was badly injured . . . I don't think you need to hear all of that again.

You know, I saw Ben kiss you in the med frigate. That was when I knew. To be honest, I wasn't that surprised. Han was, for sure, when the two of you told us, but then again, he's pretty oblivious to these types of things.

We took you in - there's not much else to say. Ben continued to train with Luke and the order. The following year, you applied to the Flight Academy. You were the youngest applicant, but Wedge already knew you were more than capable, so he let you in.

You flourished at the Academy. You were in and out at a record speed, started flying for the New Republic as soon as you were nineteen. The word got out among the Fleet at what you could do, Poe. You quickly made friends and earned command.

On the other hand, Ben was lost and alone in the New Jedi Order. He didn't really agree with some of things that Luke was teaching, and he felt a distance between himself and the other students. Maybe if Han or I'd been there for him, I don't know, maybe things might have turned out differently. I know it's not an excuse, but political work and the New Senate took up too much of our time.

He had you, though, and I think that's what kept him out of the dark side for so long. You were, I think, his last connection to the light. He'd lost faith in Luke and the Jedi, but he still had you.

Years passed. I watched the two of you grow closer as times grew more dangerous. The First Order was rising, and you'd already run into them a few times. After realizing that the New Republic was not recognizing the threat, you and your team defected to the Resistance. There, you and Snap Wexley quickly became good friends, leading dual airstrikes against the First Order.

Unfortunately, that was also when word got out that Darth Vader was my and Luke's father. I hadn't told Ben, and I can only imagine how he reacted. Though he was fighting with the Resistance along with some of Luke's older students, there was a clear estrangement between us.

A year later, he turned. He'd been secretly meeting with the Inquisition, who recognized his power and gave him what we couldn't - authority in his doubts. Supreme Leader Snoke pulled Ben down to the dark side, and the Inquisition changed their name to the Knights of Ren. He led an attack on the forest moon of Endor one night, the same place where we'd made our last stand against the Empire. You went down, trying to stop him, but he got away. I don't know what happened, but you were badly injured. If not for your Force healing abilities, you would have died that night. Snap flew you out, got you in the med frigate.

You were unconscious for four days. Every once in a while, you'd scream and thrash around like you were having a bad dream, but we couldn't wake you up. Luke said it was like something dark was shielding your mind from us, and we couldn't get through. Finally, you did wake up, and whatever you saw must have really shaken you. You begged Luke to make you forget all of it - the Force, the Jedi, Ben's fall - all of it. Luke, of course, was strongly opposed, but you insisted. You said something like your connection to Ben had been broken, and it felt like glass shards stabbing your mind every second. You also brought up a good point - if Ben tried to ever reconnect with you from the First Order, he wouldn't be able to if you blocked the bond. Luke reluctantly agreed, and he wove a new thread in your mind - that you were just a Resistance pilot, and that Ben was a Pathfinder who'd died in an evacuation. Your abilities became dormant, and we wiped BB-8. Snap, Han, and I were the only ones who knew, and we all swore not to tell you.

I think when you encountered Kylo Ren at Jakku, when you said he went through your mind, I think that's what cracked the block, and like a dam, it all came rushing back. That's how you were able to heal so quickly after your ordeal, how you were able to get back in action so quickly. I noticed small surges in the Force around you every once in a while. I think that's how you were able to heal Finn earlier.

That's the truth, Poe. You have the Force. Ben fell to the dark side. The rest you already know.


Both of them were silent for a while after Leia had finished her story.

Finally, Poe said, "Rey seemed to recognize me earlier, in the medbay. I think she knows."

Leia nodded. "When Luke purged your memory of the Force, much of your connection to Rey disappeared."

Poe buried his face in his hands. "How could I forget my own sister? What have I done?"

Leia rubbed his back and pulled him into a hug. "It wasn't your fault."

"Ben was right," Poe said hollowly. "I did this to him. I did this, but I don't even remember what happened."

"Then you shouldn't blame yourself," Leia said. "Stronger men have broken before the Force. You never asked for your gift. I don't blame you for wanting it gone, especially after what happened."

"Leia . . ." Poe desperately racked his brains, trying, reaching, yearning for his lost memories, to see if there was anything he could have done, should have done differently. He came up empty. His mind was filled with thoughts of a different past, a false past. He couldn't find the signs he needed. It was like they were still there, but buried so far under the surface that he couldn't reach them. "Leia, I need to remember. I need to know what happened."

"There's only one man who can help with that," Leia said heavily. "If you need it back, you've got to go to Ahch-To and find Luke himself."

Poe nodded thickly. "This isn't a good time, though. There are more important things that the Resistance needs."

Leia pursed her lips. "When we find a good time, maybe then - "

She was interrupted by a low whining noise coming from the sky. Poe squinted up, shielding his eyes against the sun. He could make out a group of specks that resembled ships . . . not just any ships, though.

Poe hurriedly scrambled to his feet, Leia rising beside him. He grabbed his comm and was about to call Snap, but he didn't have to. An explosion rocked the horizon, and Snap's voice burst through Poe's comm. "Poe! Poe, come in, Poe, are you there?!"

"I read you, Snap," Poe said frantically as he and Leia jumped into his speeder. He couldn't start the engines fast enough. "What's your situation?"

Poe didn't need the Force to read the fear in Snap's voice. "It's the First Order, Poe. They're here."