Wild Is The Wind, Part 29

You touch me

I hear the sound of mandolins

You kiss me...

With your kiss my life begins

You're spring to me

All things to me

You're life itself

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Inside Sue Ellen's bathroom still steamy from his shower, J.R. briskly ran a towel over his damp hair then stepped in front of the mirror. Draping the towel around his neck, over the robe that was keeping the chill off his skin, he absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair, smoothing it into place before reaching for his shaving kit.

He took out his straight razor, shaving gel and aftershave then hesitated as he considered leaving all the things out on the vanity. Did he dare? The temptation caused him to grin at his own reflection as he contemplated it. After all, he was right where he wanted to be … right where he belonged. Then he thought better of it. He'd only just been invited back into Sue Ellen's bed. Better not overstep his welcome … yet.

He chuckled contentedly to himself, enjoying the good mood he was in. It was a feeling unlike anything he'd ever experienced and was difficult to describe. Just being with Sue Ellen and John Ross had become so satisfying. Being with them even made him surprisingly comfortable in a house other than Southfork. Probably because of the way they wanted him there, especially Sue Ellen.

He had never been one to put much sentimental value on anything but not even the ranch he grew up on nor his mother and father … not even Ewing Oil had ever given him this much enjoyment. Then again, nothing else had ever mattered to him as much as what had happened in this house the past few days. Somehow he had been given a second chance with his wife and son and being part of their lives, even in a house that wasn't his, was now the most important thing in his life.

Just the thought of Sue Ellen and John Ross made him stop as he lathered his face. His wife and son … just his wife and son … no more parents … no more brothers … just the three of them … together … his family.

J.R. grinned again through the foamy gel now covering his face then started shaving. He could finally name what he was feeling, something he had never really experienced in his life until now. After all, the burst of pride and longing in his chest could be no other thing. He loved Sue Ellen and John Ross … like he had never loved anything else. And it felt damn good.

As he continued shaving, his thoughts wandered back through the past few chaotic days … over all the unexpected places he'd been … retracing the emotional highs and lows he had never felt so deeply … so many of those emotions that led straight back to Sue Ellen.

Again J.R. smiled as he thought of her. She truly was an amazing woman, one that now eclipsed all others in his mind. She could be his most terrifying enemy … his most sarcastic reminder of all his weaknesses … the one person in the world who knew where he kept most of the skeletons locked in his closet. Yet there was no one who could unlock both his mind and heart like she had, freeing him from all the uptight conventions he had forced himself into most of his adult life. She made him fight harder than anyone he'd ever known while inciting a passion in him that only shot higher every time they encountered each other. However, now even that felt different.

The depth of the commitment he now felt toward Sue Ellen was totally new and it honestly surprised him. He'd been such a ladies man his whole life and committing to just one woman when there were so many to choose from had always seemed idiotic. Even while he was married. But after waking up with Sue Ellen little over an hour again, he knew he was bonded to her like never before. Felt things about her so unlike anything he had ever felt about anyone else. Not even for his mother … or John Ross … not even for the father he revered. With Sue Ellen, it felt like she was a part of him … a part he couldn't live without. And he didn't want to. Never again.

There would be no more short-termed reunions or fleeting moments of contact they had constantly engaged in for the past 20 years. Now he wanted to savor every moment with her … plan a future with her. And waking up with the same woman every morning for the next 20 or 30 years suddenly seemed a whole hell of a lot more enticing.

Starting right now.

With only a few strokes left to shave on his face, out of the corner of his eye J.R. caught sight of the bathroom door slowly opening. A charge of anticipation raced through him until Sue Ellen's eyes captured his through the reflection of the mirror.

In her gaze J.R. found the same kind of excitement and need he was experiencing, making a shiver race down his spine, further spiking the promise she had made that they would spend the morning together. As if to confirm it, he also noticed she had changed back into the satin robe she was wearing earlier. From the smoothness of the fabric, she was wearing little else.

"Hi, darlin'," J.R. casually tried to call out to her, his voice a little deeper than usual. It was suddenly difficult for him to control the bladed razor in his hand so he stopped trying. "You're back sooner than I expected."

"Mmm-hmmm," Sue Ellen pensively replied. "There wasn't much traffic."

J.R. could plainly see all the emotions she was experiencing. They were so clearly shining in the rich, deep color her eyes. Yet even though he was thrilled she was no longer trying to hide her feelings from him, he also sensed a somber thoughtfulness about her that made him cautious.

"Aw, I was hopin' it was 'cause you couldn't wait to get back here to me," he gently teased, hoping to lighten her mood.

She finally smiled. "That, too."

"Why didn't you come in and join me in the shower?" He grinned.

"I thought about it," she said as the tone of her voice fell serious again. "Guess I wanted something a little more … lasting."

J.R. looked at her for a long moment, finding himself totally captivated by the raw look of want on her face that echoed her comment, destroying any other coy impulses he had.

"Yeah," he sighed, the playfulness in his voice now gone.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself back to the task of shaving. He had to finish and remove any remaining trace of his beard. He wanted nothing to keep him from feeling everything she was about to give him.

With most of his face now clean, Sue Ellen concentrated on the small strip that remained unshaven. She found herself admiring the way J.R.'s long fingers held the razor as he deftly removed the last traces of his beard. It secretly amused her, seeing him use the straight razor instead of an electric shaver. She knew he usually used an electric one at the office or when he was in a hurry in the morning. But she also knew when he had the time, like now, he preferred the complete control a straight razor gave him, allowing him the closest shave possible. And she couldn't wait to test just how smooth his skin was.

There was no denying how much value she was placing on what was about to happen between them. She also knew it was dangerous feeling that way about him again. It had been so long since she had placed any kind of hope or trust on J.R. But no matter what happened, whatever way it turned out, she was determined that she would damn well enjoy it. He would, too.

She wanted him to know just how much she wanted him, wanted him to know how much she wanted this moment between them to happen. She would show him … God, how she wanted to show him. If he didn't feel the same way, though, she would know it and for once would understand. But either way it went, she knew it would be a moment they would both remember. There was just too much heat between them at that moment for anything less.

Catching glimpse of the new, eager look in her eyes, J.R. flourished the last stroke of his razor, finishing his shave, then bent down to quickly turn on the water and splash away any remaining traces of foam on his face. When he stood back up, he found Sue Ellen at his side, holding his aftershave bottle and carefully studying it.

"I remember the first time I bought a bottle of this for you," she remarked, her voice warmly distant from past memories as she traced the outline of the bottle. "It was just after that whole fiasco with B.D. Calhoun."

"Mmm-hmm," J.R. barely replied, fascinated by the way she was touching the bottle. When she looked back up at him, the look in her eyes made the breath catch in his throat.

He gently took the bottle of aftershave from her and opened it then shook a little of the liquid on his hands before setting the bottle back down on the vanity. Concentrating back on his reflection, knowing Sue Ellen's gaze was closely following his every move, J.R. ran his hands over his jaw and cheeks, letting the lotion energize his freshly-shaven skin.

"That's why I like it," he softly remarked. "It reminds me of the time we spent together after all that."

Some of the best times they had ever shared, Sue Ellen thought to herself. His words and the temptingly masculine scent of the aftershave caused a thrilling jolt of possessiveness to run through her, greatly enhanced by her finally hearing that that time together had mattered to J.R., too. More than Kimberly Cryder … more than Cally. Enough to make him keep something as a reminder of that time, an open sentimentality he rarely revealed.

J.R. fought the temptation to pull her into his arms as Sue Ellen reached up to stroke his cheek, letting the palm of her hand curve down around the outline of his jaw. The woman always did have the most expressive, seductive hands and could claim him as much with her touch as she could with her eyes.

When she looked back up into his eyes, their gaze locked as a familiar current of attraction passed between them. Suddenly the only thing that mattered was having their mouths on each other.

J.R. swept his head down, bringing it to hers in a skillful move made better by the unification of the perfect fit of their mouths. There were no hesitations, no clumsy adjustments to make because as they discovered once again, kissing was as natural and easy for them as breathing.

Sue Ellen slid her hands up around his neck and shoulders, bringing him closer even as he gently pushed her back against the vanity, trapping her against him. The deep internal spark that had flickered and returned when her eyes caught his in the mirror was now an intense heat, making her gladly follow where he led with the kiss, making her want more and more.

It wasn't long ago that the way she so willingly opened up to him would have infuriated her. Was this all he had to do? Bring her body against his and kiss her until she was incoherent? Well … yes when it felt like this. It felt too amazing to fight. And with that, she freely ceded the last bit of the control she had fought so hard to win from him. When she did, she was rewarded with him melting into her, totally giving himself to her in return.

It was only one kiss … it shouldn't matter … yet it made all the difference in the world as it became a mutually possessive claim, the kind that connected their minds as well as their mouths, clearly branding each as "taken" while making them both remember just how good it felt when they finally gave into each other. Yet they both felt how their bodies wanted more.

Feeling himself sinking into the kiss too fast, too deep, J.R. pulled back just a fraction. Not enough to separate from her or even stop kissing her but enough to give him back at least a little control over his own body. He feared it was the only way he would be able to find out and fully experience just what "lasting" had meant when she said it earlier.

"Damn … I want you," he breathed out, his words barely audible as he gently teased her mouth with fleeting contact.

As much as his verbal demand seared into her own need, Sue Ellen found herself awed by her seemingly easy ability to seduce him when she looked up into the steel blue of his eyes and found them no longer reservedly amused but burning with the never-satisfied hunger she knew so well. A wicked need to further tease him made her slowly smile and run the tips of her fingernails down his back, making him flinch, even as she matched the advance-and-retreat of the playfully enticing way he kept kissing her.

"Take me then," she whispered as both a challenge and surrender.

As if kissing her hadn't been enough, her words surged the tidal wave of desire higher, wiping out any further idea J.R. had to be playful. It was time they were in the bedroom … on the bed … now.

Continuing to kiss her with small, glancing grazes of his mouth, J.R. slid his hands around her hips then guided her out of the bathroom, out into the bedroom toward the bed.

"What are you doing?" She grinned, clearly surprised.

J.R. gave her a slow, sensual smile that hinted at exactly what he was doing before his drawled out words did. "Gettin' us onto your bed."

The blatant explanation combined with the slightly dizzying sensation of walking backward while being kissed, causing an excited tingling that tightened her stomach, making Sue Ellen want to both giddily laugh and squeal with terror. But with the strong support and guidance of his arms and the insanely tempting way he continued to trail tempting kisses across her face, she gave into him and trusted the way he was guiding her across the room. It wasn't long before her knees buckled slightly as she felt the edge of the bed stop their progress.

Again J.R.'s mouth came down to claim hers, this time completely, refocusing both their attention back on their desire, making it engulf them once again after the concentration their dance-like journey across the room had taken.

Raising his knee up, resting it on the edge of the bed to balance him, J.R.'s arms clinched around Sue Ellen's back to support her as he slowly guided her down on the mattress.

He had done it before, used the move to get her both on the bed and under him in such a slick, practiced way that Sue Ellen had always fallen for it. Even now. Maybe even more so, it felt so good. But then she noticed a flicker of pain cross his face that he quickly tried to conceal with a half-hearted smile.

When J.R. saw Sue Ellen's concerned gaze dart to his injured shoulder then back to his face again, he knew there was no way he could bluff his way past the pain he had felt but tried anyway.

"I'm fine," he gently reassured her.

"The hell you are," she tenderly replied and she lightly ran her fingers over his chest and sore shoulder. "You never have given yourself a chance to properly heal. You're not ready for this."

"The hell I'm not," he playfully echoed back. "I was just fine night before last when we were together. I'm even better now." Then he slid his leg over hers, pinning her to the bed and against him in an easy, unthreatening way. "Besides, I don't give a damn about how I'm feelin' right now except for how much I need you. Don't you dare run out on me now, honey."

Sue Ellen had considered just that … ending what was happening between them before it escalated higher and caused him any more pain. Yet that sensibility was raging against the deep desire he had ignited in her … and it was losing. She wanted him … so much. Knew he wanted her the same way. Then an idea hit her, one that would have probably made her blush if she hadn't already been so sensually saturated.

"How much do you trust me?" She softly said as she continued to stroke his shoulder and chest.

"Completely," he said without hesitation.

The quick conviction of his reply made Sue Ellen look into his eyes, expecting to find traces of his usual deception there. What she found, though, was an honest devotion that momentarily stole her breath, removing any other uncertainty about her plan. He did trust her, would trust anything she did to make this happen between them. Then it occurred to her it might even give her another reason to believe all he had been promising lately. If he trusted her enough to cede control just this once, he might finally trust her enough to let her in and love him like she always wanted to.

So much for simply spending the day in bed together. The stakes were now so much higher than that.

J.R.'s expression knitted into questioning surprise as he felt Sue Ellen shift from under him then as her hands strengthened against his chest to firmly push him away. Panic struck him, fearing she was leaving him, until he realized she was instead guiding him over onto his back. Giving into it, he rolled over and found himself looking up at the ceiling until Sue Ellen was over him, her face and long, dark hard blocking out anything else but her.

"Slide up here on the pillows," she softly commanded.

Using his good arm, J.R. slowly inched higher up on the bed as she kneeled at his side, carefully watching that he showed no signs of pain. When he was settled and she was satisfied he wasn't hurt, she smiled at him.

"How does that feel?"

"Fine," he impatiently replied. "Now c'mon over here."

He reached out for her but she easily evaded him even as she took hold of and held his hand. She placed a lingering kiss on the backside of it then held it against her cheek. The elevated heat of her skin quickly transferred to him through his, matching his own.

Sue Ellen hesitated for a moment longer as she held his gaze, mentally daring herself to go on, then inched closer to him. When she was close enough, she straddled his stomach in such a graceful move J.R. was momentarily stunned. If he hadn't been so intoxicated by her, he might have been amused at the bold challenge she was offering. She had rarely been this blatant with him before, usually demurely giving him control. This was a whole new experience.

When he was with a woman, J.R. wanted to be in control and set the pace. But the way it felt as she adjusted to him, settling down with such a mind-numbing slowness, she let him know she knew exactly what she was doing and he found himself enjoying it. Immensely.

There was something about her actions that said this wasn't just because of his injuries. It was as if she was doing it because she now knew she was the only woman who could get away with it. Yet the way she never took her eyes from his, he also knew this was so much more that just about sex. Even though she wouldn't say it, he knew she craved some proof of the fidelity and trust he had promised her so many times during the past week. For that, he would give her anything she wanted because his response to this moment, this incredible moment that was becoming so much more intimate than anything he had ever experienced, would be the start of their future together.

Feeling him yield, Sue Ellen framed his face in her hands, letting her fingers trace over his smooth jaw, savoring how close his shave had been. Her hands then dropped to his neck … collarbone … chest … making him involuntarily shudder at the path she was taking even as the open silk of their robes flowed so soothingly across them both.

Until that moment, Sue Ellen had mentally kept herself away from him, using careful deliberation to keep protective barriers up that would keep J.R. from getting too close to her heart again. Yet during the past week, he had been so determined, so caring about what she thought and felt, trying to please her to the point he might have been willing to make his pleasure secondary to hers. That alone was a startling and refreshing change about him. But she had to wonder if she would have really enjoyed that.

With a slow, wicked grin that could have been a mirror image of her ex-husband, Sue Ellen's rebellious side surfaced again. Even with J.R.'s injury, having this time together be one-sided for either one of them was out of the question. If they were going to be together like he had suggested then they would be a couple again in every equal sense of the word and she was about to show him how.

What a cliché to say this time was different. But it was. Their sexual reunion a few nights earlier had taken the keen edge off their need, granting them a slower, more patient and attentive rediscovery of each other now. Just like their kisses that had started it all, their tempo became a mutual give-and-take that wantonly coaxed each other higher.

Ambiguity had defined the risky games they had both played throughout the years of their unstable relationship. But it had also brought them to that moment in time when uncertainty was extinguished, finally overpowered by the erotic non-verbal communication they had developed into precision. They no longer needed to hear what the other was feeling, they felt it through this brash new, honest exchange of movement and emotion that had started on the cold, dark cement floor of the storm shelter and lead them to this moment.

It was a sheer, sincere level of ecstasy that made all the doubts they had faced all week no longer matter while giving them a release so intense it both exhausted and overwhelmed them, irrevocably locking them together both physically and mentally.

Truly and finally mates in the best sense of the word.