When the rest of the luncheon was over with Alastair's family, the two left again for work. James went off on a mission and was gone for nearly an entire week before coming back to HQ. Lucky enough, Alastair was in London as well so James asked the other over. Going to his apartment first, James immediately went for a beer and was thankful he had some time for himself. The mission he'd just completed had been…unpleasant to say the least.

He'd been there to take down a trade of drugs that were to come to the UK and to try and get any information on where the organization was based out of. He'd taken out the men and women and would have continued by ruining all of the merchandise and then getting out of there in seconds flat if everything had gone to plan. But he noticed the air holes, had pried one open.

The children, eighteen in total, that was not what that cell was supposed to be shipping.

Maybe Kingsman had gotten the information wrong, perhaps the criminals had sent out the information like that on purpose to disguise what they were doing to anybody else, but either way James hadn't been prepared. They should have had more men, somebody on the sidelines, ready to transport the kids away as quickly as possible because James' exit strategy had suddenly become moot and he had been able to hear the men on their way.

They had been so young, one even looked younger than Roxy.

James hadn't been able to get them all out. He'd failed. For once he hadn't been quick enough. There had been more targets than bullets. More variables in play. And what had he done? Only succeeded in completely scarring the remaining eleven children with the carnage. He'd tried to get them out of harm's way, behind cover, but he'd still lost lives. They had still peered their tiny faces around corners and watched him shoot a man point blank and break another's spine when the bullets were gone.

And they hadn't cried. Just looked on with soulless eyes and broken expressions and—

"There you are silly!"

James jolted at the sound of Lily's voice. His mind raced as he tried to figure out a way to get her out, away before he broke. He had to confide in someone but that person couldn't be Lily. It was classified. He needed Alastair.

"I was wondering when you'd get back. It's been a while since you've been gone a full week. I was worried that everything—holy shit James!" Lily suddenly shouted.

James followed her line of sight and realized that the beer he'd thought he'd been drinking out of had actually slipped from his fingers a while back. The liquid soaked into his socks and glass littered the area.

He knew he was supposed to react more, that he needed to assure Lily that he was okay so she would leave, but all he could get out was, "Huh."

"Christ James! Don't move or you'll cut yourself," Lily said as she hurried around and began to pick up the larger pieces before throwing them in the bin. "You have a vacuum right?"

"In the closet."

James remained still as Lily got it and vacuumed up the smaller pieces after that she said, "I may not have gotten them all up but let's just move over to the couch, okay? You look like you might fall over."

"I'm fine."

"Fine!?"

James finally made eye contact and his stomach curled unpleasantly as he realized just how freaked out Lily was. He'd never given her any reason to truly worry about him before but now she looked utterly terrified.

"James, you look sick as a dog! And you were standing in a pool of beer and glass without seemingly realizing it! Don't tell me you're fine!" growled out Lily as she pulled him over to the couch. She checked his forehead and sighed. "You don't have a fever and I don't see anything physically wrong with you. Did something happen at work? Does this have to do with Alastair?"

"No, but I need him," James replied, answering the latter question but ignoring the first.

"I don't have his number or anything but I could—"

At that, a hurried knock on the door sounded.

"That's probably him, isn't it? I'll answer it for you," Lily said and hurried over. It was Alastair but they didn't even exchange pleasantries as he barely glanced at her and rushed to James' side.

"Hey, it wasn't your fault," Alastair said as he sat beside James and took hold of one of his hands. "You went in unprepared and did the best you good with the worst possible situation."

"But I should have saved all of them. Why couldn't I save all of them?" asked James, his voice breaking.

"Because you're still human. You did the best you could and yeah, it wasn't enough but you gave all you could give," Alastair whispered as he ran his fingers through James' hair and kissed him softly. "Do not blame yourself, understand? The only one to blame here are those monsters that took those children in the first place."

"Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt whatever this is," Lily suddenly said, her voice trembling, "but I want to know what the hell is going on here and don't you dare say that you're okay James cause I can fucking tell you're not and I swear to god Alastair, if you try to push me off with some vague ass answer I'll hit you both! I was fine with the weird answers like 'it was something at work' or 'it's for a client overseas' or whatever crap you threw at me but it's goddamn obvious that you're not a tailor and for the first time I want to know what the hell you've gotten yourself into because I'm fucking scared for you James and there's-there's nothing-nothing I can do!" Her ramblings ended with a broken yell, her voice shaking and tears falling from her eyes.

James tried to get out the words that stuck in his throat. "I can't—"

"Please don't tell me that! I need something—"

Suddenly Alastair was up and pulling her away. Moving as far away as possible in the small apartment without actually leaving, Alastair whispered, "What I'm about to tell you is usually only reserved for the closest of family but seeing as you're practically James' only family, I'm telling you. Our roll as tailors is a front for a larger organization whose goal is to protect England and occasionally the world as a whole. A mission went wrong for James and that is what is wrong. There's nothing more I can tell you and no amount of asking will get you anywhere."

"You mean like MI-6?"

"In a way, yes. But remember I only tell you this now because James does need comfort and you freaking out isn't helping him any," Alastair replied seriously.

"I…I understand," Lily quickly said. She took a deep, shaky breath, closed her eyes a moment as she calmed her breathing, and then opened them up again before slapping Alastair hard on the arm.

"What was that for!?"

"For not telling me sooner. I would have hit James but seeing as he's not well at the moment, you had to make due," Lily responded with a soft huff. She spun around and quickly walked over to James.

He looked over cautiously and asked, "What did he tell you?"

"Just that your job isn't a tailor you liar. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was classified."

"Hey, screw classification! Every damn time you said something happened at work, I thought the worst was a shelf might have fallen on someone," Lily replied as she lightly punched James arm.

James gave a small smile at that as Alastair sat back down on his other side. "There was no need to cause you to worry."

"Well if you're going by that logic then there is no reason to dwell on whatever happened. I'm sure it's all classified and whatnot but I know you and therefore I know you did everything you could have short of giving your life. And if you had given your life, you may not have even saved as many as you did, or have succeeded as much as you did or whatever," Lily responded earnestly. "Now, I'm going to go get you a beer, which hopefully you won't drop, and I can leave if you really want to. Otherwise, I'll stay and you can cry, rant about something, or completely change the subject."

Walking to the fridge, Lily grabbed the beer and went back. As she handed it over, she said, "Now that I at least sort of understand what's going on, I want to comfort you in whatever way you need, but if that means me leaving then I'm fine with that. Be with your…thing. Hold on a second, when has this even been a thing?"

James knew it was a tactic to change the subject but he didn't mind. It was Lily's way of trying to be a helpful friend. "Uh, over a week. Two weeks now? Or has it been a bit longer? It may have been a bit longer," murmured James, trying to drag his mind away from the events as he glanced at Alastair.

"Wait, seriously? Does anyone else know?"

"I think just about everybody does by now."

"So you tell your best friend last," pouted Lily.

"I have been somewhat busy," James replied.

"No excuse," Lily said with a kind smirk. "I don't care if you're skydiving in China to save some ambassador. You always tell your best friend first."

"What? That I'm skydiving in China to save an ambassador?"

"No you ass! Just whatever you may come up with or think of in that moment, you call me and tell me."

"I'll keep that in mind," James responded with a small nod. He took in a shaky breath and then quickly took a swig at his beer. When he looked up again, a sad smile was on Lily's face. "What?"

"You want me to leave."

"No, I appreciate you being here," he said earnestly.

"I'm sure you do but it's obvious no amount of distracting is going to get you out of your gutter. At least not any kind of distracting that I can do. Just warn me if you're going to suddenly disappear for like another week or something. Kay? I'll come around tomorrow morning if that's alright," Lily said.

"Yes that's…thank you yes," James replied.

Lily gave an encouraging smile before hurrying forward and hugging James. She said her goodbyes before leaving, finally leaving James and Alastair alone.

"Will you get in trouble for telling her what you did?" asked James

"I highly doubt it. I didn't give her anything substantial."

"Good, and thank you for what you did. It did help."

"And is there anything else I can help you with?" Alastair softly questioned, massaging the back of James' neck. "Just whatever you can think of I'll do."

James took another swig. He had thought he would needed to talk about the incident, the blood and faces and utter helplessness, but despite how little Lily knew, her words had solved that need. He needed something else.

Gulping down what was remaining, James placed the bottle on the coffee table. He turned to Alastair and quickly captured the other's lips into a heated kiss. Murmuring against Alastair's lips, James whispered, "Make me forget. At least for a moment."

It took Alastair a moment before he finally had a chance to capture in enough air for his starving lungs. When he did, he quickly replied, "I think I can do that."


AN: This had meant to be more of a fresh breath of humour but ended up turning darker than ended. I hope you still enjoyed it though :)