"Can save you"
Jace
That's my punishment?
No!
Hit me!
Throw me across the room!
Freaking stab me!
Just don't take me away from my family!
"But Magnus doesn't mind if I stay here." I protest.
"You're not eighteen so it doesn't matter if Magnus doesn't mind if you stay here or not. You need to stay with a relative or court-appointed guardian." Mr. Lightwood says in an angry tone.
"What if the poison hasn't finished wearing off? What if there's still something wrong?" I try to appeal to his humanity.
"There are doctors in Maine." He replies in a dull tone.
"But we don't even run into each other. What if I make sure to never run into you again? Couldn't we try that?" I say, making an attempt to convince his logic.
"No. You can't guarantee that. Besides, this isn't about that. It's about what's best for you." He answers.
"But…what about school? I just caught up." I try.
"There are schools in Maine." His voice hasn't wavered once.
"But Clary, Alec, Izzy, Magnus, and Simon aren't in Maine." I point out, feeling pathetic.
Mr. Lightwood's eyes go dark and he starts towards me. I prepare myself to be hit but instead he seethes, "You don't deserve them. Not after everything you've done."
My heart sinks. He's right. I don't deserve them. I especially don't deserve Alec and Izzy. First I caused them to lose their brother and now I've caused them to lose their mother. They should hate me.
Mr. Lightwood starts down the hall and says over his shoulder, "Expect a knock on the door at 3:20AM. That's when the driver is going to take you to the airport. Your flight leaves at 6:00AM."
"But," I whisper, hoping my mouth can conjure words that will resolve the problem. I'm fighting tears as my heart sinks further and further into my chest. Eventually it will hit the stomach acid and dissolve all together. Maybe I'd be better off if that happens.
"If you don't go then I'll see to it that you end up in juvenile detention." He adds. "I'll say you helped Valentine. Maybe you'll visit him in prison."
I'm stunned.
Then I kick myself for the pathetic shock. I deserve this. It's my fault that this happened. Valentine wanted me. I should've just given him what he wanted. Turning my head away from Mr. Lightwood, I gaze at the closed door to Magnus's apartment. It's not a home by any means, but it's full of all the people I love. My eyes hurt as I fight the salty wetness that attempts to fill them as I realize the only way to protect them is to stay away.
"Wait." I say to Mr. Lightwood as I walk after him.
He turns around and glares at me. "Why?" He growls.
"Can you take me to the airport now?" I ask as I take the last five strides to him. Each step is more painful than the last.
He looks confused. "You're not going to say your goodbyes?" He asks.
Oh Clary, I'm so sorry.
I shake my head, fighting the tightness in my throat.
Mr. Lightwood almost looks sorry as he nods. "Fine." He says in a taut voice.
I sit in the backseat of his car and he drives me to the airport. He gives me the ticket and leaves without a word.
I sit alone in the terminal.
I sit alone in silence as I stare at my ticket and ponder my future fifteen minutes later.
I sit alone half an hour later as I ignore my phone as it vibrates in my pants' pocket.
I sit alone in silence fourty-five minutes later after I turn my phone off.
Then a blur of red catches my attention.
"What are you doing here?" Clary asks, sitting beside me.
I can't speak past the tears that clog my throat as they try to make their way down my face. If I talk, I'll lose it. I can't afford to do that.
"No tides. Remember?" She whispers. She sounds worried. I don't deserve this.
I shake my head. It's my fault. I need to make her leave. I don't want to. I don't know how.
How did she find me anyway?
The ticket is taken from me and I hear Izzy's voice reading the address aloud.
Are they all here? It sounds like it but I can't look up. If I look up then I won't do the right thing. If I look up then I'll stay. If I look up, I'll never leave.
"Oh no." Izzy gasps.
"What?" Simon asks.
Even Simon's here.
"He's going to Maine. Alec, that's why Dad was at the game night. He came to take Jace." Izzy says sounding furious.
I hate Mr. Lightwood. They were happy in ignorance. It's best that I leave though. They don't realize that I'm nothing more than poison.
"What's in Maine?" Simon asks.
"Probably a grandmother or something." Magnus says.
I nod.
Clary hugs me. "I wish I can save you." Her voice catches. "From this."
I hug her back. It's an automatic response. I can't not hug her. She's Clary Fray. She can do anything. That includes receiving hugs from me.
Reality hits me like a tidal wave. I can't do this to her. It's going to hurt her. She's already near tears. Staying right here, hugging her, it's only going to be that much worse when I'm gone.
"I'm sorry Clary. I can't do this anymore." I whisper.
"What?" She whispers. She sounds so sad. She's sad for me. I'm the last person who deserves that.
"You deserve better." I whisper. Then I run into the guys' bathroom and hide like the pathetic failure I am.
Alec and Simon try to get me to come out but I refuse.
Magnus on the other hand, crawls underneath the locked stall, grabs my chin, makes me look him in the eyes, and says. "He threatened you."
I don't reply.
"He did. Didn't he?" He asks. His voice is ice. His eyes are fiery fury.
I don't reply.
He releases me and hits the stall wall. "Crap! What was the threat? Whatever it was I bet he can't even follow through."
"Juvie." I whisper as I sit on the lid of the closed toilet.
"Crap." He says again.
I nod listlessly. It's hopeless.
He's silent and then says, "My dad works at the nearest facility."
"So? He hates you." I mumble.
"Thanks for the reminder. I was going to say he's fair to everyone but his own son so he would help you." He snaps.
Great job Jace. You're winning the asshole prize today.
"Jace, stop this. Clary doesn't deserve this." He tells me.
I know. That's why I'm in here. Clary doesn't deserve this.
"I didn't want to resort to this but you leave me no choice." Magnus opens the door and Clary walks in. "I'll leave you two be."
"Say something." Clary whispers.
I shake my head. If I talk I'll break. I can't make eye-contact with her and I'm sitting on the closed lid of a toilet in a public restroom that literally smells like crap. She'll never find someone as pitiful as I am right now. Maybe she likes self-destroying losers. That would explain a lot.
"We're going to stay with you whether you talk with us or not while we wait for your plane." She tells me.
I look up at her. Why is she so kind?
"I love you." She whispers. "And I don't want you to go, but if you have to, I'll stay with you until it's time."
My heart rips.
I hate Mr. Lightwood right now. I hate myself for making this worse than it has to be. It just hurts so much. It's unlike any problem I've faced before. Usually I can come up with a solution. This one seems impossible.
"Jace, look at me." Clary whispers.
My eyes flit up to hers which are brimming with tears. I can't leave her like this. Maybe Magnus's dad can help me. Looking at this beautiful girl in front of me, I feel like anything is possible. Maybe we can find an antidote to the poison I contain.
If anything bad happens, I'll make sure I can save you Clary. I vow silently.
