Okay, I know there has been a little bit of a wait for this chapter. I did update some of my other stories though. Not to mention that I've been having just a little bit of computer trouble recently. Hopefully that'll get sorted out properly soon.
Next order of business, a reviewer named Storm Windows wrote out a rather entertaining review that basically points out that due to the fact that Norm and Amanda have such a unique relationship in comparison to normal genie and master relationships, they could pretty much do anything they wanted to. Specifically, they were compared to Q from Star Trek. And they think that Norm could be a huge threat to the cosmic order thanks to these circumstances since he has almost nothing to rein him in. It was rather entertaining to read the review and I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much. But in regards to what reins in Norm, that would be the supremely nice and restrained little girl who thinks before she wishes and the fact he wants to keep her friendship.
Amanda has recently been picking up the habit of actually making wishes recently. Now she needs to learn how to use wishes for herself. Because so far, all she's asked for are things to help out those around her in some way or another.
Anyway, sit back and relax as things continue to progress towards what I hope to be a rather interesting event for the characters.
While Hollywood was an interesting place to visit regardless of the time of day, they really needed to work on their map-making skills. Of course, navigation was never humanity's strong suit. How else could the Europeans discover an entirely new continent when looking for a short-cut?
"Barbara Eden should be around here somewhere…," Norm muttered, looking over his copy of Map to the Star's Homes.
Okay, it might not be completely the map's fault he was having trouble. It was kind of dark outside at the moment, which made it a little tricky to read the map. But he planned to keep blaming it on the map until he found her house. And he would do it. It just might take a little while. But he'd manage it somehow. And more importantly, he would do it without having to stop for directions.
"Hey there, Norm," a voice called as an arm was casually draped across his shoulders.
Knowing exactly who he was dealing with without looking, he purred, "Tanda, are you here to make all the wannabe actresses jealous?"
The green-haired genie left a quick kiss on his cheek, "You always knew how to make a girl feel special. How're you doing? No one's seen you since before New Year's. I was starting to think you were back in the lamp again."
He chuckled, "No, nothing like that. I was just keeping an eye on a few things for a while. And what have you been up to?"
"Me? Nothing special. Just taking my newest pieces of eye candy out for a walk."
She pointed to the only other people on that particular street at that hour. Both were human men, black-haired, and exactly the sort of well-built physique that Tanda was fond of. They were each carrying several boxes and bags because she liked to shop occasionally even if she could gong up the stuff anyway, though he had no idea where she found stores open at this insane hour. They were also clearly magically-compelled and exhausted. No matter how eager-to-please and cheerful they were forced to appear, there were definitely bags under their eyes.
"While the boy toys are cute, Toots, you might want to give them a break soon," he pointed out. "Otherwise they're going to be the ones to break."
She chuckled slightly, "Going soft on me? I guess the hunks haven't been getting much sleep lately. We've been… busy."
"Spare me the details," he rolled his eyes.
This time she laughed quite loudly, "This from the genie who tried to pick up five girls in one night about sixteen hundred years ago? But if that's how you want to play it, Casanova, that's fine by me. I guess they can take a quick nap while we chat."
She snapped briefly at the two humans and they instantly fell asleep at the gong, piled over the packages they'd been carrying. Norm cringed at the sound of something fragile and likely expensive breaking. The cost didn't matter since money wasn't one of those things genies ever bothered with, but it seemed like such a waste. Hopefully Tanda would remember to fix it later.
"So what brings you to Hollywood at this time of night?" she asked.
Smiling wryly, he answered, "Had a little free time. Figured I'd get a glimpse of Barbara Eden."
"I heard you were fond of her show a few decades ago."
"One of my past masters loved watching it. The show grew on me," he shrugged.
"And how are things with your current master. The kid still a little pushover?"
The dark-haired genie pushed his sunglasses further up his face, ignoring the fact it was the middle of the night. They were treading into dangerous territory now. He didn't want to give away anything important.
"The kid is growing a backbone slowly, but making wishes still isn't her thing," he said as casually as possible.
"You got to love those exceptions to the usually greedy, impulsive species. They make life so much more fun. Try getting her to wish for world peace sometime, though. The effort is worth it to see their face when you steal everyone's free will or wipe out all life on the plaent. After all, the free ride will have to end someday, so it might as well be entertaining," she smirked.
Norm forced himself not to react to the suggestion. Tanda didn't understand. Even if she knew that some humans were different than the rest, she didn't know Amanda. She didn't understand how special the girl was. Messing with humans was just standard operating procedure. Tanda did it and so did Norm in the past. But not to Amanda. Never to Amanda. He would never let that happen.
But he couldn't tell Tanda that. It was too complicated. She wouldn't understand unless she met the girl, talked to her, and got to know the child. And Norm couldn't allow that because as much as he liked Tanda, he couldn't risk her harming Amanda for fun. It wasn't just because his reputation as a genie would be ruined. That didn't matter as much as keeping the kid safe and happy.
Oh man, had he changed. He definitely wasn't the same genie who'd popped out of the lava lamp months ago. He had gone soft. But was that actually a bad thing if he was happier now?
"So, do you know if your friend, Rosemary, is out of her bottle currently?" he asked, changing the topic to something safer.
Tanda wrinkled her nose, "No, she's already trapped again. But I think Daja is available if you're interested. Just don't tell her boyfriend, Alben, whenever he gets out again. He keeps thinking he can make a long-distance relationship work with her."
"Didn't his lamp end up on the moon?"
"What can I say? Sometimes humans can be creative when they hold a grudge."
Thinking back to his actions during Fairy Idol, Norm shrugged, "So can genies."
Tanda laughed lightly in response, "True. No one can hold a grudge like a genie. Lots of magic and lots of time trapped in a lamp with nothing to do except plot revenge. Which is why no one wants to tell Alben what his girl has been doing for the last seventy years. Otherwise we'll lose about half the male population of genies."
"She's been busy."
"She's been bored. Her current master is still trying to find the rest of his body parts. I think once he has enough fingers, he's going to try spelling out the wish to undo everything."
Norm couldn't help smiling a little at that. Humans kept trying to wish for immortality in one fashion or another, but they were always so vague. The genie population usually selected a new method every now and then on how to mess it up to keep it interesting. This century, the standard way to grant the "I wish to never die" wish was to turn them into a zombie. Though the one before that where the person ended up as an ancient and decrepit old man was also fun.
"So I'll check with Daja next time I'm in Arizona and have her call you if she's interested," Tanda said. "And I guess I'll see you later, Norm." Snapping her fingers at her slumbering pair of humans, she magically-forced them awake with a gong, "Naptime's over, boys We've got places to go and I need my eye candy."
She snapped her fingers again and the three of them vanished with a gong in a cloud of green smoke, leaving Norm alone in the empty street with his useless map. He hesitated a moment before crumbling the paper up.
"Eh, I'll find Barbara Eden another night. Besides, Amanda will be up in a few hours."
And with that, he also snapped his finger to vanish with a gong.
It wasn't just that they were trapped. They also couldn't alter their prison with magic. Anti-Cosmo had tried to expand Anti-Fairy World a little (mostly to give himself somewhere else to get away from his son's complaints), but it didn't work. Oh, they could use magic for little things. But they couldn't expand or change the place.
He'd tested it thoroughly once he became aware of this new limitation. The anti-fairies couldn't, for example, create a new building out of thin air. But they could do it more indirectly by creating smaller amounts of brick and mortar, then using magic to put them together. It also worked better if someone broke a mirror first, but that was normal. But no matter what loopholes he tried, Anti-Cosmo could affect the size of Anti-Fairy World.
He wouldn't be surprised if this particular limitation was based off of what a genie in his lamp was capable of. It seemed like something he'd do, but it was certainly irritating to most of the population regardless of Norm's intentions. And regardless of whether fairies were to blame or the genie, they were all tired of being imprisoned.
Except for his dearest Anti-Wanda. Say what you will about his wife, but she was probably the happiest one in the entire pocket dimension. And honestly, if he had to be trapped with anyone, Anti-Cosmo was glad it was with his wife.
…Though he might have to knock his child down a flight of stairs if Foop didn't stop throwing that ridiculous temper tantrum.
"Norm, I'm afraid I've been thinking," remarked Amanda as she dusted the table.
"A dangerous pastime," he teased gently.
That earned him a smile. The girl was cleaning house again. She'd insisted on doing it herself sometimes. And unfortunately her parents were once more mobile enough to notice her presence (he'd finally reversed their flu before the child tried using one of her wishes to make the pair feel better), so Amanda appeared determined to do a good job for them. Norm was already plotting ways to take out his annoyance with them on the poor Canadians.
…Maybe he could send Mr. and Mrs. Adams to Canada. That way, everyone suffered. It was a nice "two birds, one stone" scenario. The genie quickly filed that idea away for later.
"Well, I know that Da Rules say that god-kids lose their fairies someday, no matter what," Amanda said carefully. "And I guess that makes a little sense since other kids need them too. It also says they have to forget all about fairies. And I guess that makes sense for some god-kids or they could end up like Mr. Crocker."
"I'm sensing another selfless and possibly universe-warping wish on the horizon," the genie remarked dryly.
"No, not universe-warping," she said. "It doesn't seem right to change Da Rules. Those are the fairies' rules, not mine. The fairies probably know what they want as rules, so it wouldn't be nice to mess with them too much."
"And suddenly I'm bored. When did you start worrying too much about rules and limitations, kid? That's the whole point of genies: to ignore that stuff. And I'm still wondering if there's a question involved somewhere. Or a wish."
The girl glanced to the floor for a second before a small smile spread across her face. Norm was a little surprised that the expression looked vaguely mischievous.
"I don't plan to break their rules," said Amanda. "But there's nothing wrong with using a loophole for a friend."
The genie stared at her in silence for nearly a full minute. Then he managed to find the right words to express himself.
"Amanda, I'm more proud of you right now that you can possibly imagine," he grinned before scooping her up and spinning the girl around. "Finally! Someone who appreciates loopholes and wants to actually use them." Setting her back down, he asked, "What do you have in mind, kid?"
"Da Rules say the god-kid has to lose his memories of their fairies when they grow up, right? Does it say the memories have to stay lost?"
The grin across Norm's face managed to grow a little as her idea became obvious. Yes, the kid was clever when she put her mind to it. He could already imagine the chaos her idea would cause if someone less scrupulous than her tried it. But he knew that she would keep her plan limited enough to avoid problems, but the genie was still amused by it.
"I'm guessing this is for Turner? You know Jorgen Von Stupid won't be happy if he finds out," he commented. "Which is probably the best part. Just say the word and I'll give the oversized wand-waver another headache to deal with."
There was a second where she looked uncomfortable with that part of her idea. But her usual dislike at upsetting people was quickly pushed aside by her obvious desire to help and the fact she was probably still mad about Jorgen being mean to her friends. The girl set down her cleaning supplies and ran towards her room.
Smirking, Norm snapped his fingers and vanished all the dust in the house with a gong. Amanda still couldn't make a wish for herself, but at least she tried to be responsible and helpful with her wishes. That was more than what most people did. Like Turner wishing for a baby fairy, of all things.
That had really infuriated him. He didn't even like fairies, but that didn't mean he wanted to see the floating infant end up as yet another unwished wish. It was too similar to killing an innocent and helpless kid for his taste and Norm really wasn't fond of that. He'd done it when he couldn't find a loophole out of it, but he didn't enjoy granting those types of wishes. So when he figured out the mess Turner caused by wishing for Poof, it frustrated him. And the moronic rules let it happen. Yeah, it really made him wonder how in the world fairies ended up with such a good reputation. Sometimes rules were made to be broken, but the little wand-wavers just couldn't do it. Which was why Turner should be thankful for Amanda's kind heart and level head.
He'd known she'd save the baby fairy the minute she figured out the problem. Norm could have won money by betting on the girl's reaction. He also could have guessed she'd do something about Turner and his future eventually. It was the sort of thing the kid liked to do; she liked to fix things for those she cared about. Maybe someday she would figure out how to make a wish that was strictly for herself.
Amanda ran back into the living room, the lava lamp in her arms. The girl slowed slightly as she neared, her eyes narrowing as she glanced around.
"You used magic to clean, didn't you?" she asked.
He grinned, "Maybe."
"Norm…"
"What? I got bored waiting for you, so I did a little dusting. Maybe we'll have time for a game of chess now."
"Fine, but you'll be sorry when I win this time," the girl said.
Norm chuckled, "In your dreams, kid."
Amanda smiled briefly before glancing down at the lava lamp. She bit her bottom lip for a moment, looking thoughtful. Unlike so many humans, she always thought before she wished. Which was why her success record was better than Turner's.
"I wish that every time that someone erases Timmy Turner's memory, he'll get those memories back a day later," she said carefully.
The genie nodded briefly before snapping his fingers, producing a clear gong. He couldn't wait until the moronic Jorgen figured out what happened. Of course, Turner might manage to keep the idiot from noticing. Either way, the future could be interesting for those involved.
"Do you plan to tell Turner about what you did?" Norm asked.
She shook her head, "It'll be a surprise. He doesn't need to worry about it until he grows up anyway."
"Good choice, kid. It'll be more fun that way," said the genie. "And now that our favorite bucked-tooth troublemaker and his flock of wand-wavers are safe, I say we head to your room for that game of chess."
"But… but we always go to the comic convention together," said Elmer, staring in shock.
"And we will go together next time," Sanjay assured. "But this time, I am going with someone else who has never attended a comic convention before."
"He's tossing you aside," Bob whispered. "He's abandoning you. I told you that you couldn't trust the boy."
Ignoring the boil as best he could, the red-haired boy suggested, "How about all three of us go together? It could be fun and I wouldn't mind the extra company."
"I am sorry, but my other friend is extremely shy and would be most unhappy with me if we all went there together," he said, sounding truly regretful of that fact. "I wish I could figure out another way. I do not like having to choose."
"The only one you can trust is me," whispered Bob. "We'll make him pay for this when I rule the world."
"Please say you understand? I will make it up to you next time," Sanjay continued.
Elmer wanted to understand. He wanted to ignore Bob's voice in his head. He wanted to be the nice guy who easily accepted the offered apology and simply missed the comic convention this time. It would be the right thing to do.
But he couldn't do it. Ignoring Bob was growing more difficult when he made perfect sense. As much as he might hope otherwise, he was losing Sanjay as a friend. He'd denied it as long as possible. This was the last straw, however. They always went to the comic convention together. And not attending together just proved that their friendship was obviously over. Even the promising status of Back-up Friend and Substitute Timmy wasn't enough to make up for that loss.
"You'll always have me, Elmer," reminded the boil. "You don't need anyone else."
It wasn't fair. But of course life wasn't fair. That was why he was standing around, waiting for the bus while his closest friend tried to be nice even as he destroyed everything. It was why he would soon be alone with only the boil on his face for company.
"Elmer?" said Sanjay awkwardly, drawing the boy's attention to how long he'd been silent.
Still enough of a friend that he didn't want to make him feel worse, the red-head faked a smile, "I understand. I hope you have fun."
"We should strike now while he is weak," Bob declared. "He could be the first casualty in the quest for world domination."
Elmer couldn't even gather up the energy to be upset with the boil's plotting. It wasn't worth it.
Timmy was officially in a good mood. He was already planning for the weekend. A few video games with Chester, AJ, and Amanda to start with. Then, he'd take Amanda to explore a jungle ruin of some kind. That would be fun. Or maybe he could try taking her to the South Pole for the ultimate snowball fight if the jungle ruin idea was too intense for her. It would be awesome either way, even if Norm came along to make snarky comments.
Walking across the playground, he couldn't help smiling. He had several friends to hang out with, including one who could be involved in his magic-based adventures. Both the anti-fairies and pixies were no longer a problem. Even the concern about Poof that he usually tried to shove to the back of his mind was gone. For once, everything was going his way and there was absolutely no way it could go wrong.
"Hi, Timmy," greeted Amanda, walking over to him from the bus. "I guess you wished yourself to school this morning, right?"
Even if she was cheerful about the whole thing, the girl was smart enough to drop her voice when talking about magic. The fact she could keep a secret was definitely a useful trait for anyone involved with fairies and genies.
"Hey, Amanda," he said. "Want to come over this weekend? I have some cool ideas if you're interested."
The girl nodded quickly. Happy with that, Timmy gave his squirrel-disguised fairies a brief smile. Yes, things were going well for once. What could possibly go wrong?
"What's wrong with Elmer?" asked Amanda, pointing across the crowded school property.
Timmy frowned in confusion before looking in the indicated direction. The bespectacled, boil-ridden, red-head did look a little upset. Actually, maybe more than just a little. The more he looked at Elmer, the more obvious it became.
"Guess he's having a bad day," he shrugged. "It happens to everyone."
The brunette girl frowned at Timmy in the same disapproving manner that Wanda did when trying to guilt the boy into doing the right thing. Apparently it was an universal ability for females, regardless of age or species.
"He's your friend," said Amanda. "He's your friend and he's upset. Shouldn't you fix it?"
What was wrong with him? Now that he thought about it, there had seemed to be something a little off with Elmer for a while. He hadn't really noticed that much, but the red-headed boy just hadn't been the same since around Christmas. No, it went back farther than that. How long exactly had Elmer been acting different? The Snow Ball? Maybe a little before then?
"I don't even know what's wrong with him, so how can I fix it?" he asked.
That made her hesitate a moment, glancing between the unhappy Elmer and Timmy with a thoughtful expression on her face. The boy made sure he didn't look at his disguised godmother. Amanda's guilt-inducing gaze was bad enough without Wanda adding to it. Especially since he'd obviously missed his back-up friend acting different for quite some time. Even if Elmer was a back-up friend rather than a regular one, shouldn't he have paid a little attention? He could have been replaced by a killer robot from the future and he wouldn't have realized until too late.
"Well, if you can't fix the specific problem that's making him upset, can't you still at least do something to make him feel better?" Amanda suggested.
He opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. She was right. He could do something nice for his back-up friend. It was easy enough to use a quick wish for someone else. Amanda did it all the time; look at what she did for Poof. And he had unlimited wishes while she didn't. Maybe he could be selfless for once. It couldn't hurt.
"So what would you suggest?" asked Timmy.
The girl shrugged, "You've known him longer. You know him better than I do. What do you think would make him happy? And try to make sure you pick something that can't cause any problems."
What would make Elmer happy? As Timmy stared at the red-head across the crowded school yard, he tried to figure out the best wish. For some reason, he found himself trying to think of the sort of things Amanda would pick out. If she was the one trying to make Elmer happy, what would she wish for?
It wouldn't be toys, video games, or expensive things. She didn't wish for that sort of stuff. She always seemed to wish for simpler, but more important things. So what would be simple and important that could make Elmer happy? Something that would change his entire life for the better?
Then Timmy realized the answer was as clear as the nose on his face. Or rather, it was as clear as the boil on Elmer's. It was the perfect wish to cheer him up a little. And Timmy could count it as his good deed for the day.
Glancing towards the colorful squirrels, the pink-hatted boy said, "Cosmo? Wanda? Poof? I think I've got it. I wish that Elmer no longer had a boil on his face."
Wands were raised and there was a distinct poof. And Timmy had just a moment to feel proud of his actions.
Then everything went wrong.
He caught a glimpse of Elmer, his face completely free of boils. But he was running away. A lot of kids were running away. He couldn't blame them. There was something horribly wrong.
Right in the middle of the school property, only a few feet away from the jungle gym and right where Elmer was standing when the wish was cast, was something. It was hard to describe. It was like part of the world turned inside out and reversed. It was strange colors, twisted images, and swirling motion that tried to pull more of reality into it. There was a hole in the universe. He could hear the wind roaring by as it swept by him towards the thing. It was like a black hole that was yanking part of the playground through it. Or maybe it was the reverse. Maybe it was something crazy and wrong trying to claw its way into their world.
Whatever it was, there was about a seven foot orb of wrongness in the middle of his hometown where there used to just be an ordinary part of the school property. Fragments of it looked a little like a photo-negative of the playground while other sections were too alien to describe. It almost hurt to look towards the very center of whatever it was. But the worst part of the whole thing was that it seemed to be growing larger, slowly but surely.
Crocker looked out his window towards the playground and noticed something odd. There was a part of the area that seemed to have completely destroyed all laws of physics, nature, and common sense. It almost made his skin crawl just to look at it.
"Hmm… It looks like someone tore a hole in reality," he commented casually. "That can only mean two things. First, this is obviously the work of Fairy Godparents!"
He flailed around the empty classroom as he shouted, but Crocker managed to avoid knocking over the stack of papers on his desk. That was certainly progress.
"The second thing," he continued, "is that I think class is canceled for the day." He smiled briefly, "I wonder if I can make it to the beach in time if I leave now…"
Timmy had no idea what it was, but he knew it was somehow related to his last wish. Which didn't make sense because how in the world did removing a boil cause something so… horrible and strange? But it didn't matter because he was going to get rid of it fast.
"I wish that thing was gone!" he shouted, pointing at the weird orb/hole of insanity.
Since there was practically no one left to witness them, his fairies shifted into their more usual shapes as they raised their wands at the thing. Even as the wind roared and howled, Timmy listened for the familiar sound of success. But what he heard was a far more frightening noise.
Pfft!
"Uh-oh," said Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda in unison as Poof grabbed onto his mother for comfort.
"What happened?" Amanda yelled, her hands pressed over her ears to block out the roaring wind.
"It didn't work," he yelled back.
"Why not?"
"I don't know."
Before they could react further, there was a loud and nearly explosive POOF! Abruptly a large and welcome figure appeared in front of them, giant staff-like wand glowing. No matter how much he might yell and threaten after this was done, Timmy was actually glad to see the Toughest Fairy in the Universe at that moment. Maybe he knew how to fix the weird thing that seemed to be warping reality around it.
Then he noticed that Jorgen looked horrified by it. And that scared Timmy far more. Unless it was a butterfly net, anything that could scare Jorgen was seriously bad news.
"Turner, what have you done?" asked the muscular fairy, his voice quiet and stunned rather than loud and booming.
It was still expanding. The area that was swallowed up by the thing was now an orb around nine feet in diameter. It wasn't stopping. What had he done?
"I think I can slow it down a little at least," Jorgen said before firing a blast of magic straight towards the thing. "Get to Fairy World. Now!"
Timmy didn't even have to time to say a word before his fairies responded, transporting themselves, him, and Amanda with a frantic poof.
Don't you love cliffhangers? Yeah, things have taken a turn for the strange and scary for our characters. And even if this seems like it came completely out of the blue, I've been planning for this since the start. I really have. There will be some explanations in the next chapter about what in the world is going on. Just remember one important fact: I know what I'm doing.
Once again, go and buy my book. There's a link on my profile. You can buy it for the Kindle or download the Kindle app thing for your smartphone. You can probably even download it on your iPad or other computer things. Just go out and support my original piece of fiction, please. Reviews are nice (and I always appreciate them), but fanfiction doesn't pay the bills.
