The Story of a Dying Girl
Hey! It's me!
So, here's another really short chapter, I'm sorry. I can feel this story coming to an end, and it's making me sad.
Also, the review problem went back to normal after a couple of days, so yay!
Speaking of reviews, (see what I did there?) thanks for all the support! This whole entire story wouldn't even be happening without all of you.
So, shall we start? Also, shall is a fun word. Shall.
Chapter 29:
I sat there on the bed, looking at her.
I was daring her to disappear, to leave me again.
And she just laid there, eyes open, drinking the water a nurse had rushed in and given her.
Her eyes.
I hadn't seen them in what felt like ages.
They were more beautiful than I remembered.
I held her hand tightly, maybe too tightly, but it didn't matter because she gripped mine back, and she smiled as she did so, and it almost seemed too good to be true. Like came morning I would wake up and I would be in my bed, and she wouldn't be awake.
And so I pinched myself.
And she was still there.
I slapped myself.
She was still there, her hand still gripping mine.
"Naomi? What are you doing?"
I raised my right foot and brought it down, hard, against my left shin.
"Naomi?"
"Wake up. Don't let yourself fall for this dream," I whispered sharply to myself.
And so I stood up and I walked over to the wall, and banged my head.
Now, I know you must be thinking, "Wow, this girl is a loon," but you have to understand that sometimes, things are just too good to believe. So at the time, I thought my mind was lying to myself to make me happy, giving me a dream, telling me she was okay, telling me the love of my life was here.
We do that to ourselves, don't we? Lie because we think that sometimes it would make us happier than our own realities.
But at this moment, I didn't need some comforting lie, and so I kicked the wall this time, and then I punched it, and then I just ran into it.
But there she laid, eyes open, mouth slightly open, confusion with my actions so clearly etched on her lovely face.
"Naoms?" She asked in a croaky voice, and it was so lovely I could have died.
I hadn't heard her say my name in so long.
Too long.
I had almost started to forget.
"Come here."
And so I did, timidly approaching her like some scolded schoolchild.
And she grabbed the back of my neck, softly, and pulled me into her.
She kissed me.
It was gentle, and it was sweet, and when she let go, she cupped my face in her hands, her beautiful, beautiful hands.
"Naoms."
I nodded.
"It's okay. I'm not going anywhere."
I kissed her again.
She responded.
And again.
She responded.
And I think it was during the fourth of fifth kiss that we started to cry, and I could feel tears on my lips, but I kissed her anyways, and she responded each time. She kept on kissing me, and the realization that she was back, and wouldn't be going away, at least not now, hit me.
"Please don't leave again," I whispered into her ear as she held me tight against her.
"Never. I will never leave. I would have stayed if I could have, but sweetie, I couldn't. But now it's okay. And now I'm here and I don't plan on going anywhere.
"Good, because I won't let you."
It was a Friday and I was graduating in a week.
I should have been over the moon about that, talking about the end of the year parties and all the classes I won't have to go to again and all the people I won't have to see again.
But that seemed so small in comparison to having Emily back.
She was still sick, I can't tell you that she was just fine like I would have liked to
believe me, I would have if I could have, but I remember telling you once that I didn't
want to lie, and I still mean it. You deserve better than that.
So she still lied in a hospital bed, watching a white wall, but things seemed different, like now things had to get better. She had been in a coma, still alive, and I thought I would die without her, so how the hell would I survive without her? How would Katie and the rest of her family?
And so it just wasn't an option.
Not that it ever was.
And so I waited, and things in a sense, returned to normal, or at least to what our normal was.
A hospital and an IV. Nurses and doctors that rushed around with panicked looks, concealed in tired eyes. Coughing and pills.
No, definitely not normal.
But you know what?
Fuck normal.
Cook sat down, hunched over in Keith's pub when I found him on Friday.
A beer was placed in front of me as I glanced over at Cook. He was shrunken down in the booth, scared, and it reminded me of when he was around his mum.
"What's your problem?" I asked after a bit, getting tired of all this moodiness and somberness around the table. It felt very sober, despite the fact that I was on my second beer and Cook on his god knows how many.
"I'm gonna break up with Katie."
I did an actual spit-take. Like one of those cheesy sitcom moment spit-takes.
"What the fuck are you on about?"
"It's not gonna work out. It can't. She'll go to one college, and I'll go to the other. I'll go mad. Thinking 'bout what she's doing, who she's with, why the fuck I'm not there."
He kept his eyes steady, looking forward at some cracked photo hanging desperately from a nail on a wall.
"Are you joking?"
He shook his head.
"You can't be serious. You love her!"
"Yeah, but I can't do that shit! It'll break my goddamn heart."
I scoffed.
"Whatever, man."
I couldn't believe he was doing this. I stood up huffily.
"Where are you going Naomio?" He was sober, but I wasn't surprised. His tolerance for vast quantities of alcohol was a medical mystery
"You're being an idiot."
"Well what am I supposed to do?!"
"You're not even gonna try!"
"How can I?! How can you expect me to?!"
"Get over yourself! For fuck's sake man! You say it all the time! 'Nobody gives a shit 'bout me. Only you and Paddy, mate.' Well guess what?! She gives a shit! She gives all the shits. And you're gonna throw it away because you're scared! We're all scared! Everyone is fucking terrified! Life is fucking scary, man! But you're gonna give up Katie because of some miles?! That's just stupid mate, even for you."
And with that, I just stood there, looking at him.
He stood up.
"Well, maybe I am scared! Fine! But can you blame me?! If we break up, then what?! I'll be fucking heartbroken!"
"So you get your heartbroken. I'd rather have a broken heart than a heart filled with regrets."
He looked at me with far away eyes.
"So that's it then. I'm just supposed to deal with distance?"
"Do you love her?"
"Of course."
"Then you deal with the distance. End of."
He took another sip of his beer.
"It can't be that bad, right?" He asked finally.
"It's gonna suck."
"Cheers."
"But it'll be worth it. I promise."
Cook didn't break up with Katie. But there was that unhidden but not mentioned desperation in the air. Not just between them.
Between everyone.
Things were ending.
And it felt exactly like the end of a great book or TV show or something.
Like a finish.
It was very sad for some reason, but then I looked at the sleeping girl in the hospital bed, and the way she was gently sleeping.
And I thought, "How could I possibly be sad?"
Sappy? Check!
Hope you guys like it, I know some of you guys have probably lost interest by now, and I'm sorry if anything isn't very good recently.
Next chapter will be up on Sunday. It'll be one of the last….
I'm thinking about starting a new story soon. I'm torn between two ideas currently.
Anyways…
Let me know what you thought!
