Chapter Twenty-nine
The Uke Flu: Hot and Cold
For a few moments Hiroki just stood there, silently taking in the scene. He had arrived just in time to catch the last bit of the conversation before he'd been noticed. It wasn't as though he'd been trying to eavesdrop; he was just so stunned he hadn't immediately been able to move.
Nowaki was right, things were "a mess" right now and it was his fault. But more than Nowaki's words, seeing his giant reduced like this, the blatant pain in Nowaki's eyes when he'd looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, was more than Hiroki could bear. Hiroki thought about his earlier reflections while sitting on "The Bench," and about his recent solo conversation with Kobayashi. He understood completely that his actions in this instant could either affirm his realizations from these encounters or negate them.
Unexpectedly, Tsumori inadvertently assisted him (for once). The blond noticed that he was gripping the shoulder strap of his book bag rather tightly.
"Are you going to throw that thing again or just stand there?" Tsumori challenged, forcing Hiroki to recall the incident early on in his relationship with Nowaki, where Tsumori's flirting had provoked him to bean the older doctor with Nowaki's Boston bag.
"Tsumori…" Nowaki leaned away from Tsumori's embrace. Hiroki's words overrode his, however, before Nowaki could finish his sentence.
"That was more than three years ago, Tsumori-san, and I apologized afterwards."
He had: it had been humiliating, but necessary. Hiroki wanted to add that the doctor not only deserved it but obviously needed a refresher course on the dangers of trying to steal someone else's lover, but instead he bit the sharp comment back and felt its jagged edges snag his throat as he swallowed the words down.
"But I suppose you might like it if I did throw something, since it would serve to reinforce your low regard of me." Hiroki was careful to keep his voice even. While he hadn't actually heard the first part of Tsumori's confession, he'd known of the man's feelings about him for a long time: since the first moments they'd met actually, when Tsumori had commented on how different he was from the "cute girlfriend" he'd imagined Nowaki with.
Tsumori, however, had no idea how much of his declaration the professor had heard, so his eyes initially widened at the comment. Then they narrowed back down again immediately. This soft response was not what he had been hoping for. He had sincerely wished for the Devil Kamijou to throw a demonic tantrum. Despite his earlier assertion that he would remain content to simply be Nowaki's friend, Tsumori still longed for a situation where he might exorcise Kamijou from his kouhai's life.
As if he knew this, and to underscore his peaceful intentions, Hiroki purposefully set his bag down on the floor by the door as he moved into the room. His heart was crushed by how miserable Nowaki looked.
Hiroki walked into the bathroom, took a clean handkerchief out of one of his pockets and ran it under the tap. He wrung this out and stepped back into the other room. Hiroki didn't say anything, but he was greatly relieved to see that Tsumori had completely relinquished his hold on Nowaki and was now standing up, leaning casually against the lockers.
Tsumori's gaze however, was far from complacent.
Hiroki pointedly ignored him, though he desperately wanted the man to leave. It was enough that he was revealing his shame to Nowaki, but he knew that addressing Tsumori right now would only serve as a distraction and if he didn't act immediately he would lose his courage. Hiroki could already feel the resolve that seemed so concrete on his way to the hospital beginning to crumble and he damned the destructive powers of his own insecurities.
Standing in front of Nowaki now, Hiroki looked at this man that he loved. He crouched down, trying to peer under his giant's shaggy bangs and catch the younger man's gaze. Nowaki, as was his way when he was distressed, was looking elsewhere, not wanting to meet his eyes.
Saying nothing, Hiroki extended the damp handkerchief to Nowaki. He would have wiped Nowaki's tear-stained cheeks himself, except that he thought the act might seem too mothering. Nowaki slowly extended his hand and took the cloth from Hiroki. As he did, their fingers brushed.
"Your hand is frozen, Hiro-san," Nowaki said softly.
"I'm always cold, you know that," Hiroki mumbled. "…Especially when you're not around." He dropped his voice as he said this last part and the low volume made him sound a bit rough.
Nowaki hid his face behind the cool cloth. He was trying hard to keep his breathing even. After all these years that simple equation of temperature, his heat and Hiro-san's frigidity, still retained its power to move him. He waited a moment, allowing the damp fabric to sooth his burning eyes. Being kept so close to Hiro-san's body, the handkerchief held his lover's scent. Nowaki breathed this in deeply and suddenly felt the whirling inside of him begin to steady.
Nowaki pulled the cloth away and looked up, his cobalt gaze met Hiroki's. He was shocked to see the open concern, the pain, and the love in his partner's eyes. It was not that he believed that Hiro-san was incapable of such emotions. On the contrary, he knew the man too well and understood that for Hiro-san these states were more or less constant. Usually, however, the older man did his best to keep them hidden and they revealed themselves only in sideways glances, or moments when Hiroki didn't know he was being observed.
"Hiro-san, I overslept." Nowaki said brokenly.
"I imagine you needed the rest then." Hiroki smoothed the growl from his voice as best he could. Hesitantly he stretched out his fingers, unmindful of the fact they trembled just slightly. He swept a bit of bang over off of Nowaki's unusually pale brow. The extreme heat of Nowaki's forehead alarmed him.
"My phone's not working either... I think I might have broken it. That's why I didn't call. I was going to call you from here before I started my shift." Nowaki's tone was painfully apologetic.
"Well, you were thinking of getting a new phone anyway." Hiroki dropped his hand and his gaze simultaneously. He didn't bother to inquire how Nowaki's phone may have been damaged. He already had a pretty good idea.
"I stopped by to bring you some more things for lunch. I know there was probably enough in what I packed, but I wanted to make sure you had extra things after what Dr. Suzuki said this morning." Hiroki studied the hand that had just been touching Nowaki, rather than meet his gaze.
Hiro-san's cold hand had felt so wonderful against his fevered skin; Nowaki wished he hadn't removed it quite so quickly. A soft smile crept on to Nowaki's lips.
"That was very thoughtful of you, Hiro-san. Thank you."
Sometimes Nowaki's politeness infuriated Hiroki, but he realized also that it was an adopted means of defense, Nowaki's way of protecting himself, just as much as were his own postures of irritation and fury. Hiroki's chest felt so tight it seemed as though his lungs were hardly drawing any air. He ached so much to touch Nowaki again.
At the same time he was painfully aware that behind him, Tsumori had not moved from his place at the lockers. The blond remained there; arms crossed, observing their whole exchange. Hiroki could feel the older doctor's increasingly agitated energy.
Given his giant's present state, Hiroki desperately wanted to demand that Nowaki accompany him home at that instant. He wished more than anything to be able wrap Nowaki up in his arms and soothe him throughout the night. But he knew that he was not the only person of pride in their relationship and he would not demean Nowaki again in front of his senpai, regardless of how he felt about Tsumori.
"You are feeling well enough to do your shift?"
"Mmmmmm," Nowaki answered in way of affirmation to Hiro-san's quiet query.
Hiroki stood up and extended his hand. Nowaki took it and unfolded his long frame slowly until he was upright again. He was surprised that when he was standing, Hiro-san's hand did not immediately release his.
"I'm sorry. I know I am making you late for your shift, Nowaki. I'll leave in a minute." The usual gruffness had returned to Hiroki's voice. Nowaki remained silent, too weary for words. He waited expectantly for Hiro-san to mutter his good bye and be off, but found himself surprised instead.
"When I left today things were not as they should be, Nowaki.
"I know you are entirely professional, but I'd feel terrible if I thought there was even a chance, something I said or didn't say might keep your mind from being able to focus solely on your patients while you're here. I understand that they are depending on you.
"So, please know we can discuss whatever we might need to once you come home. Okay?" Hiroki stammered through bits of this, but "Okay?" was the only part of his speech that held even the slightest note of hesitancy.
As always, so many things were contained in the spaces between his words.
Nowaki watched Hiroki's cheeks turn red. He could tell, by Hiro-san's intonation that he had rehearsed this before he said it. The young doctor felt himself beginning to beam a bit and tried to hide it, because he knew this would irritate his partner: especially as the particular smile dawning on his face was most often accompanied by the unappreciated word "cute."
"And if you're too tired when you get home, we can just wait and talk at breakfast. It's my turn to cook and I don't have a class until ten." Hiroki added, his blush deepening. He paused a moment and then sighed.
The hand holding Nowaki's tightened just slightly and pulled back. Nowaki leaned down, following it. Hiroki extended his free hand up and its cool touch grazed the younger man's cheek and came to rest, gently cupping Nowaki's jaw. Then though his head did not turn, Hiroki's eyes glanced, unbidden, in the direction of Nowaki's senpai.
"You are coming home. Right?" While Hiroki's hand did not tremble this time, his voice did, ever so slightly. Nowaki placed his large warm hand over Hiroki's.
"Hiro-san, you know in all of my life, I have never wanted to be anywhere except with you." Nowaki leaned in carrying both their hands with him and surprised Hiroki with a kiss.
Hiroki stiffened, knowing that Tsumori was still present and that anyone could suddenly walk into the locker room, but then he allowed himself to relax. He permitted Nowaki access to his mouth and tried, in his return of affection, to breathe as much of his health and his strength into his partner as he could. When their kiss finally ended, Hiroki looked down, his face glowing crimson.
"So, I'll head out then. You better get to work; you don't want to be any later. I know you will do your best." He managed to affect just the right amount of irritation to make his tone sound normal, though this was far from how he felt.
Hiroki gently unwound their hands before he turned and walked away. He stopped at the door and picked up his book bag. He pulled the sack with the things he'd brought Nowaki out and set them down on a chair near the door.
"I love you, Hiro-san," Nowaki called after him.
Without looking back, Hiroki lifted his hand in acknowledgement and stepped through into the hallway.
As soon as he was around the corner and out of sight, Hiroki collapsed against the wall. He bent over, his hands gripped his knees as he pulled huge gulps of air into his lungs. He felt his whole body shaking with the relief of knowing Nowaki was returning to him once again.
How many more chances will Nowaki give me? If there truly were limits to his giant's love or forgiveness Hiroki had no desire to find them.
Hiroki was unpleasantly surprised when Tsumori suddenly rounded the corner. The doctor smirked and pleased to find the professor in an obviously humbled state.
"That was quite the performance you put on there, Kamijou."
Hiroki straightened himself and evenly met Tsumori's cool gaze.
"I hadn't planned on an audience, Tsumori-san," Hiroki held his voice in measured politeness, pretending to ignore the doctor's rudeness. "But I suppose I am glad that you heard Nowaki's decision." Hiroki pushed himself away from the wall.
"You know, Tsumori-san, you once reprimanded me for allowing my personal desires to intrude into Nowaki's professional life and potentially affect his medical performance."
Tsumori looked at Hiroki with smug expectancy.
"Might I extend an observation here that you would do well to follow your own advice?" Despite the natural roughness of his voice, Hiroki's tone was exceedingly restrained. Though in truth he was furious with the scheming blond.
"And if you are truly in earnest about being Nowaki's confidante, I hope that you will respect his wish for a quiet life and treat your conversations with him with the utmost respect and discretion."
Any trace of smirk fell from Tsumori's face; he was stunned by Hiroki's response to his blatant provocations. Hiroki started walking away, but after taking a few steps he recalled the end of the conversation he'd overheard between Nowaki and his senpai when he had come upon them. Hiroki turned back.
"Oh, and just for your clarification, Tsumori-san, Nowaki is a seme, and a fucking good one at that!"
Without another word, Hiroki spun on his heel and walked unhurriedly out of the hospital to go home where he'd wait for Nowaki to join him.
NEW AN:
TBF101- My sweet Bird, I am so delighted to see you here. Thank you so much for the wonderful and in depth review. You know it thrills this dog's heart. And yes, about Aki... well, it is fiction after all, so I can make the most wonderful children here. They're the only kind I'll have. Heh! And it is something to see this Misaki, especially since I am writing DWS after this. And you know I loves me some angsty egoist... Looking forward to hearing from you on the next Romantica chapter at least.
Alcuzey, yes, well, don't get too comfortable. That Tsumori's a sly one.
Clobojojo, here's tonight's bedtime installment. Hope you enjoy it.
OLD AN:
So Dear Readers, just a quick note, there will be the regular author's comments at the end of the chapter, but I wanted to let you know it's official, the Uke Flu is contagious…Another fic writer, Estelle J, asked my permission to borrow the Uke Flu concept and is writing the story of Kanou and Ayase from Okane ga Nai, picking up from exactly where I left off with them at the clinic. The author is doing a god job so far with the Uke Flu: Okane ga Nai, the first chapter has truly got me hooked and the second just came out and is great as well! Anyway, please share the Uke Flu love and go read and review her fic. I must say, I love seeing my virus go viral. Anyone else want to carry on with those other couples? Tyrant, Class President, Sekai ichi Hatsukoi, Gravitation, Love/Sex Pistols? Can we make it an epidemic?
Dear Toughcookie 1877- If you're still reading, I hope I don't disappoint you too much, but I am in fact one of those people who write about Hiroki being turned into Nowaki's pet cat…
Yeah, the story "Neko-Hiro" is an "M" fic and starts out pretty brutal, but there's fluff intermingled and a few lemons mixed in. So check it out if you're inclined, as always, please drop me a line to let me know what you think, like it or not… I announced my dual identity as Don't Preach/Cerberus Revised there last weekend. Hope you all are as forgiving…
Also, in my last batch of reviews, Miss Mysty made the astute observation that this story seemed to be moving out of parody and into drama. I readily acknowledge this. I hope that is okay with you, readers, as that is how I am inspired to move with this fic at the moment. I have a rough idea of where I am going (birth of babies obviously) but there are so many things to explore, I sometimes tend to meander. (Almost got hit by a car the other day as I stopped in the middle of the road to pick up a dead moth with beautifully colored wings- gives you a picture of my personality) So, I hope you don't mind that this story is rather an organic creature and as such, be aware, permutations are bound to occur. I do hope to get back to some lighter moments soon, however, but… we'll see…
Junjou-Hatsukoi, Jfjeep26, jOLTrEMIXjADENrEVIVAL, Storm Uchiha, AmIOtaku, changsquawkzhang, RyoushiYAOI-Sama, Ms.'.Bloody Rose, Estelle J: thank you for the alerts and the favoriting. Hope you will consider posting a review sometime.
Darkestforever: I can't tell you how thrilled I was to see a review from you as I am so enamored of your work. Hope you haven't given up on me. I know I am a terrible correspondent. Eagerly awaiting your next post and so intrigued to hear that Tsumori supposedly put the moves on Nowaki in your fiction also. Hope you are pleased with this chapter and I too am enjoying seeing a slightly more vulnerable Nowaki.
Teabags: Can't wait to hear what you think… As always!
Maggie Mae From Penny Lane- after your comment on the last chapter of "A Thousand Words" I have a new appreciation of your avatar. The conversation with Kobayashi will be revealed soon, I think.
Miss Mysty, Aoshi139, Rainbow Sparklexx, Katsutoshi96, LoserSquad, Sergeant Dreamer, VDayBear, MeltXD, Onige-a: Thank you all for your feedback and support hope to hear from you again!
MrMissMrs Random: Just glad you're reviewing now. Hope you liked the chapter.
Rychanna- so glad you got the courage to review. I am so glad you're appreciating the story, even though it is an mpreg. Hope to hear from you again.
Reficular- it is the professor in me… the Devil Professor.
Junjou-Hatsuko: Glad you tried the drama and so happy you like the writing.
X - you know how I feel about you… What did you think of this chapter, my Hiroki expert…IC?
