A/N: *sigh* I was a bit hesitant to give this to ya.. cuz you know what it means. Anywho- here is my extra chapter for you before the Epilogue! Enjoy!

Reparations

For the next several days I lived in a heady mixture of pleasure and pain. It took me by surprise actually, but it was all made bearable with Bella at my side. It was nice to have her there. I took comfort and strength from her presence. Apart we were breakable; together, we were indestructible. But what troubled me the most was how things that brought me pleasure, eventually led to pain.

I spent every second I could with Bella, but it was diminished due to strict rules set up by Charlie. He still had a hard time even looking at me. Still, I abided by the structure he set out. Of course that is what bothered me the most. Bella bore the brunt of Charlie's dislike of me. Because of my actions, she had limitations on her freedoms and she felt as if she needed to defend me. Several times we discussed me talking to him, trying to take some of the heat off her, but she stated it was too son. The man in me needed to make things right. It wasn't fair for Bella to take the fall.

Then there was the first day back at school. I was actually looking forward to it. It would hours of uninterrupted time with Bella. I couldn't ask for more than that. But the instant the student body knew I was back, I was bombarded with images of Bella. They came from everyone, even the teachers. I worked to keep my face neutral, while inside I was being sliced open by every picture.

Those that knew her best provided the best or worst, depending on how you looked at it, images of Bella. I would see how she rarely ate, the vacant, dead eyes or the way she would hunch in on herself. I was bombarded with images as Bella slowly withdrew from her friends until she was alone. Teachers would recount how she would stare off into space and looked dazed, or how she would be so concentrated on the work, she forgot to hear the bell.

So while I loved being able to spend everyday with her, the images made me ill. I knew that our time apart bad for her, but it seemed like each day I was greeted with a new image of Bella. Then there were the mental insults that would be hurled at me. Several wondered how I could show my face after the damage I caused. For the first time, in a long time, I felt ashamed of myself.

But this was my cross to bear, so that was what I would do. I kept my face impassive and tried to shut the words and images out, but it was very difficult.

Things at my house were slowly getting back to normal, or what is normal for us. There was still tension and feeling of caution. I knew I couldn't put off speaking to members of my family, I just didn't know how to do it. All of the hurt and pain that I caused was still so fresh. Even I still felt raw from it all. I longed for a sense of normalcy and peace. But Bella was right; I could only find that if I took care of unfinished business.

I had spoken to her about how I needed to spend time with my family, attempting to make right all the wrongs I'd committed. She agreed with me, but we hated to be separated. It was still extremely challenging to be apart. For me it was the feeling of panic that overwhelmed me. It was hard to pinpoint what my fear was really about. Carlisle felt I was still reeling from being told she had died. Now that she was alive, I needed to be near her to make sure she really was alive.

For Bella, it was much worse. She was trying to hide her fears from me, but I knew. It happened the first time I tried to leave. She asked me to stay until she fell asleep, which I did. However, half way to my house, panic gripped me and I had to see Bella. When I got to her room, I heard her screams, the pleas for me to stay and not leave her. It tore at my heart to hear it. Even worse, there was nothing I could do. It would take time for her to see that I was incapable of ever leaving her again.

It was coming up to our first weekend back from Italy and I had spoken to Bella about needing some time to spend with some of my siblings. On the surface she was fine, but I recognized her feelings of anxiety and fear. It was the smile that didn't quite reach her eyes; it was the tiny tightening of her mouth when she spoke. It was the slight wildness in her eyes when I made to leave. To help ease the time away, I arranged for Alice to spend time with Bella. I knew that Alice relished in it and Bella needed it just as much.

So it was with a heavy heart that I kissed her goodbye in the late morning as Alice bounded into the room.

"She will be fine, Edward. You will be back later tonight, I promise." Alice smirked at my apprehension, but I was powerless to stop it.

"I know, Alice, it's just still hard to leave. Keep her safe, please." She hugged me tight. Everything will work out, for you both, I have seen it.

Without turning back, I took off into the forest behind Bella's house. I needed to run, to help me get my mind focused on what I want to accomplish today. While I knew I needed to talk to everyone, I didn't want to do it in a large group. I had dished out very personal and private transgressions and they deserved a private apology. My biggest worry was what to say.

I always felt that I was good with words, just not very well with expressing my feelings. Being with Bella has helped become better with the latter, but I still struggled with it when it came to my family. Trying to push aside my negative thoughts, I focused on the motion of running.

Minutes later I was running into the back yard of our house. Carlisle and Esme were upstairs talking. Jasper and Emmett were involved in one of their complicated chess games. Rose was out in the garage tuning one of the cars that had just arrived by transport earlier in the day. It would be easier to get her alone if she was already separated from the rest of them.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly walked up to her. Rose didn't like to be taken by surprise; she wanted to be prepared for whoever was coming. Knowing that it was me, she would want a chance to close her mind. I stopped a few feet from where she lay on her back under the hood of Em's Jeep.

What do you want Edward?

"I was hoping you would go for a short hunt with me. I'd like to talk to you." I didn't plead or beg. I was just upfront and honest. She was a private person and what I knew we had to say to each other, there was no room for others to hear it. Our relationship had never been easy. There is no reason to suspect that this conversation would be anything other than highly unpleasant.

Now? Or can you wait a bit? I am in the middle of a tune up here. Even in her thoughts, her tone as acerbic as ever. She wasn't making this easy on me.

Swallowing down my anger, I responded calmly. "I can see that. But I was hoping you could take a break for a short while. We won't be gone long."

I made no mention that I wanted to get back to Bella that would be the wrong thing to say this early in the game. Too much has been left unsaid and discussed when it came to Bella. I was hoping to remedy that today.

With a mental sigh, she wheeled out from under the truck. She threw a scathing look my way and stomped off. She said not one word to me, but I knew she would be back to go on a hunt. She was a woman of few words. Her refusal to say anything meant she wasn't looking forward to this anymore than I was. For some reason, that thought comforted me.

A few minutes later she was back in jeans, an old t-shirt of Emmett's and her hair in a ponytail. She nodded to me and off we went. Again, she was silent as we ran and I let her lead. She would go where she was more comfortable and then it would okay to talk. Unsure if we would hunt before or after, I waited for her to give some indication.

I was surprised when she headed towards a favorite place of mine to hunt. The mountain lions were plentiful and it was easy to find my preferred meal. With Rose heading here, it was another olive branch she was extending my way. She was trying to bridge the gap between us, acknowledging that she had a part in our separation.

At the same time we caught wind of two lions, she gestured to me to take the lead. She really was trying and I needed to acknowledge that. In a gesture of goodwill I went after the smaller female and left the male for her. Her eyes widened slightly when she realized what I was doing. Slowly, we were trying to find our way back from the chasm that separated us. In silence we finished our meals and buried the carcasses. We then ran a bit further to an isolated area on the side of the hill.

We both took in the panoramic view before us. For me it was tranquil, a light breeze, filtered sun, towering tress and the songs of birds. I tried to see what Rose was thinking, but was met with a wall of silence. Out of the corner of my eyes, I took in her posture. Her shoulders were slightly hunched, but she was sitting up tall, her hands rested on her legs, they were relaxed. This told me she was prepared for this, although it left her feeling exposed. I could understand that feeling all too well. It was how I sometimes felt around Bella.

I closed my eyes, trying to gather my swirling thoughts. I knew it would do no good to let loose accusations and assumptions. The only thing she would understand would be honesty and I could do that for her. But where did I start? I was hurting, she was hurting. We had said so many things to each other, even before the call in Rio. However, we were family, she was part of my family and I needed to make things right. Or at the very least, make an attempt.

"I'll be honest, Rosalie," I sighed softly, "I am not sure where to begin." I opened my eyes and followed a group of swallows looking for food. "You were right, that day you called me. I did leave the family and I didn't care about who had to pick up the pieces. But I ask that you to listen to what I have to say. You don't need to agree, just listen."

I can try, but no promises. It was the best I was going to get out of her, at least for the time being. I nodded to let her know I heard her.

"It was too hard being with you all. Much more now that I had had Bella in my life. I knew what I was missing out on now. I knew how it felt to be loved and to love. I know it was selfish and all, but it was killing me to be with you all. Not only was it hearing her name in your minds, but looking at you all reminded me of what I had lost. It was too much to bear. I honestly thought that if I left, you would find some sense of normalcy without me."

Pausing, I thought, here goes nothing. "But what you did Rose, in Rio, that hurt. To me you discounted how much Bella meant to me. In fact since day one you have done that. Regardless of our personal history, you should have treated Bella better."

"I also admit that I hurt you in Vancouver. I had no right to take my anger and sadness out on you. But again, the way you characterized Bella, it was too much. Yes, I was having a difficult time. But think of it this way, Rose. I lost my mate."

I said those last four words slowly, punctuating each of them. "You have no idea how it felt, the feeling of being incomplete and feeling utterly alone. I had never imagined that it would hurt so bad, that I would feel such bone crushing pain." I shuddered as a remembrance of the pain echoed in my head.

I didn't realize that she meant that much to you, Edward. She must have seen my incredulous look.

Ok, so I didn't want to admit that you felt so strongly for her. All I saw was a human that was in our lives and how you seemed so unconcerned that you were breaking the rules. I feared that we would be in jeopardy for your involvement with her.

She stopped to pause. She wasn't done speaking; she just needed time to gather her thoughts. This was one of the things I loved about Rose. She never minced words. She meant everything that she said. So I knew whatever she would say next would be important to her.

If you're being honest, then I will as well. I was upset that you seemed so taken with her. I was unable to see the appeal in her. I couldn't see what everyone else saw. To me she's an unassuming, plain human.

She sighed gently; we were coming to the crux of her problem.

But more than that, I was worried that you were going to change her. As much as you said you didn't, I knew that a part of you wants it. For that I was furious at you and her. But mostly her. She has no idea what she giving up and honestly, Edward, you're not worth it.

I took no offense at her words, I felt the same way. So I nodded, letting her know that I agreed with her. Bella could do so much more, be so much more, life a fuller life than I could ever give her as an immortal. I wanted that for her, even at the cost of only having several decades with her.

"I feel the same. I want her to be human. But she is determined to be changed. I am doing all I can to at least prolong it." She looked at me intently. Seeing that I was being honest, she looked away. We both knew that there were a few vampires who were willing to help her make the change. I can only delay the inevitable.

"Thank you for voting no, it meant a lot to me, even if you did it for your own reasons." Silence enveloped and we were both lost in our own musings. It felt good to talk to Rose, to air everything out. She knew I wasn't forcing the change on Bella and I knew her petty jealousies could get the best of her. Our faults kept us closer to our humanities.

Wordlessly, we both stood up. She offered me a small, tentative smile. "It's nice to have you home. I missed you." I gently squeezed her hand, a small gesture to let her know I returned the sentiment.

Days later and I had little opportunity to speak to anyone else. I was hoping to remedy that today. I was home from school as it was a rare sunny day. I had just left Bella's house less than twenty minutes ago and now I had several hours without her to fill.

I sat at my piano for the first time since I was back at home and it felt good. I checked to see that the piano was in tune, which of course it was and began familiar songs. I played some Chopin, then morphed into Esme's song, which led me to Debussy and finally, as always, I ended with Bella's lullaby. By the end, I was calm and serene. I closed my eyes to savor the feeling of being home. It was more than a place; it was the people, the smell, the love and the memories that made it home.

Feeling the need to let my joy be expressed, I continued to play. Light and airy melodies rang throughout the house. Knowing that Alice and Emmett were home, I played some of their favorite songs from the 80's. For Esme I played jazzy songs from the 20's and an hour later when Jasper walked in I morphed into sultry blues. My happiness was extended to everyone in the house by the simple arrangements of music. Finally I felt as if things were back in place.

Taking my lightness and using it to bolster my determination, I went looking for Emmett. His easy going and laid back personality fit my mood the best and I had a feeling our talk would be just the same.

I found him out back, cleaning Rose's tools. It was one of the few things she let him do when it came to her tools. The garage and everything in it, was her domain and no one dared mess with it. Except Emmett, who could be found most times than not, helping her out when she was in there. Since she was out shopping, he decided to surprise her by cleaning off the buildup grease on some of them.

I sat down next to him and began to clean the worst of the grease off, I knew that he would have to check what I did- he knew how fussy she could get. But it offered me something to do while we talked.

"You sounded real good when you were playing. It's been a long time since we've heard you play like that. Although, your Bon Jovi seemed a bit off." I could see his smirk out the corner of my eye. I punched him in the arm.

"Bon Jovi is not meant for a Steinway, its better suited for a Gibson." Emmett nodded that he agreed. I knew he wasn't comfortable with long periods of silence so I jumped right in.

"I wanted to let you know how sorry I am about what happened in Vancouver. I had no right to take my aggressions out on you. There is no excuse for what I did." I hung my head in shame, trying to hold back the slew of images of us fighting in the clearing. Actually, it was me fighting; Emmett was just trying to keep things calm. I shook my head hoping the memories would slip away.

"I just snapped that day, Em. I don't even know what got me so worked up. I just felt the need to rage against something. I was fighting with myself on a daily basis but I needed something tangible and you got in the way."

"I never held it against you. Like I said that day, I knew you were hurting. I just wish you would have talked to me. Maybe I could have helped."

I smiled at him. If only talking would have saved me back then. No, by the time I fought with Emmett, I was too far gone. "Thanks, Em. I wish it would have been that simple."

I could tell he had something on his mind, he was trying really hard to think of something else, but he's never been good at it. Silently I let him find a way to bring up whatever was bothering him. I watched as his brow furrowed with concentration, his lips quickly moving in time with the thoughts running through his head. I turned away from him to give him his privacy. He was fighting with himself, I could see the indecision.

"Just say whatever is on your mind, its okay. I deserve whatever you're thinking." It was true, no matter what he had to say, he needed to get it out. I owed it to every member of my family to hear what they had to say.

Was it worth it? These past few months of hell you put us and yourself through. To me it just seems like a waste of time and I just don't understand.

The question didn't surprise me, the fact that it came from Emmett did. I was expecting someone to ask me if all the pain and heartache that I went through was worth it. In fact I was kinda shocked Rose didn't pose it. But to hear Em ask, well, I was shocked.

"Honestly, Em, I'm not sure. I think I am too close to it still. Everything is so fresh and raw. So I would have to say no at this point. Maybe, when enough time has passed, I can look back and be objective, but I can't do it now."

He looked thoughtful at my answer, stared at me for a few minutes and nodded his head. I wasn't sure what that was all about, but before I could ponder too long he spoke.

Glad to have you and Bella back. It's not the same without you both. As for all that other stuff, it's forgotten brother, long gone.

With that he turned back to the task he was doing and never said another word. I had his forgiveness, as simple as that.

"Thanks, Em. Missed you too." He nodded without turning my way. Everything was back to normal between us and I knew he would never bring up with happened ever again. Part of me wondered if he really should have forgiven me that easily, but that was just how he was. I respected it, and even admired it.

Walking back into the house I felt lighter, as if the burdens I had been carrying were slowly being lifted from my shoulders. It was exhilarating and liberating. Wanting to continue with the feeling, I sought out the one person where I knew forgiveness would be hard to accept. Jasper.

Even thought we talked that first night in Vancouver and I told him I didn't hold him responsible, he did. Every once in a while his thoughts would leak through and I could hear the guilt, shame and revulsion in his thoughts. What happened that September night was not only my worst nightmare come true, it was Jasper's. In his eyes, that night was the proof of how weak he really was and he hated it.

I found him up in the room he shares with Alice, reading. His brief stint in studying philosophy struck a chord with him and it wasn't unusual these days to see him studying everything from Plato and Aristotle, to more modern theories such as Descartes and Hobbes. Carlisle and he had entered into several discussions as of late, it was fascinating for me to watch.

"I had a feeling you were heading my way," he drawled as I crossed over the threshold. He placed a marker in his book and set it down. His eyes flickered to the window he was seated in front of.

"If I am interrupting I can come back later." I paused, waiting for him to make the decision. I knew he could sense my mix of emotions, happy and elated from talking to Emmett, to apprehension and some anxiety at the thought of talking to Jasper.

"No, we should get this out of the way," he sighed. In a gesture I was familiar with, he ran his hands through his hair. I couldn't help but notice the pained expression on his face.

"I'm sorry that Alice was placed in a situation that placed her in danger. I know that must have been hard on you." I was sorry for much more than that, but it seemed the easier place to start.

He chuckled lowly, "As much as I want to blame you for that, it was all Alice. She had the vision, she had to help Charlie, she got the vision of you, and she needed to make it right. If anything, I am upset with Rose. We had more than a few words after that call to you."

I looked away, unwilling to see the mix of emotions in his eyes. Silence settled over us, but it was anything but easy. Flashes of so many things ran through his head, Alice, Bella, me, September.

"That's a lot you have on your mind." I gave him a quizzical look.

"I feel like I should say sorry, but that seems completely inadequate. Part of me feels that if I had better control on her birthday, you wouldn't have left." He breathed in and held it for a while, then let it out. "But another part is so angry at you. The family barely stayed together after you left Vancouver."

His voice was a faint whisper when he was done and I knew how it pained him to say it. But he was being honest and I needed to hear it. I owed it to him to let it out and hope we could find a way to work past it.

"Come to any resolution?" There was no mistaking the hope in my voice.

He smiled, "Not really. I have tried to look at it through your eyes, but it's hard. Part of me wondered if you really understood how much she loved you. I knew how devastated she would be and I let you make the worse decision of your life. I feel as if I had failed you as a brother."

To hear that he felt he failed me was too much. I couldn't let him go on feeling this way.

"Jazz, my mind was set, there was nothing anyone could have said or done that would have changed my mind. But I never blamed you," he threw me an incredulous look of disbelief. "Seriously, I didn't. There was a brief few moments when I thought I did, but deep down I didn't."

I paused, trying to gather my thoughts. "I used what happed as an excuse to leave. I let my own fears and warped sense of right and wrong rule me. I think I was looking for a reason to leave so I didn't have to make one up." I closed my eyes, trying to quell the sadness. Seconds later I felt a surge of peace and calm. I smiled at him, as away to say thanks.

"It wasn't until months later, when I was in Rio that I realized all the mistakes I made with Bella. It was then that I acknowledged I never treated her or our relationship with the respect and love it was due. Everything was so one sided. So no, I never blamed you; you just gave me the excuse I was looking for."

"Are you glad to be back? You do plan on staying with her, right?"

I smiled as I nodded, "Oh, yes, I am staying. We are better together than we ever were apart. I know that she is my life now." Glancing at him, I saw the faint beginnings of happiness; it was nice to see that he no longer appeared burdened by guilt.

"Good to hear. I like having Bella around, she makes it easier to be around everyone else, even you. I promise that I will never hurt her." The solemnity of his words made them feel as if they were a sacred vow. I held my fist out to him and he reached over to bump it. With that done, another piece of heaviness left my body and I knew that I was moving in the right direction. It felt good to feel so tranquil.

Without another word, I left his room and he returned to his book. Once again, I had begun to repair the damage I had inflicted. Although, it didn't escape my notice that the three remaining family members for me to talk to were the ones that were going to be the most challenging. In my mind, they were the ones that I had hurt the most.

Seeing that I had a few hours before I could be with Bella, I ran out of the house and went for a run. It would give me a chance to think about what I needed to say and to whom. But most importantly, I hoped it would help me find the courage to talk to them before it was too late.

Several days later and I found myself in Bella's room. She had long since fallen asleep and now I was watching her. I loved this time of night. It afforded me a quiet mind and time to just be in Bella's presence. It was also my best time to think. Even after my run a few days ago. I had no solid idea what I was going to do.

I knew by now that Alice knew I was talking to people, she also knew I would be talking to her. I was glad she wasn't forcing me; she was allowing me to take this at my pace. I found it a bit ironic that I wanted to turn to Alice, to ask her opinion on how to begin. She had always been my go-to person. For the last several years she had been my rock.

I tried putting myself in her shoes, looking at everything that had happened through her eyes. It wasn't an easy thing to do; part of me still saw her as out for her own gain. But once I pushed pass all of my hang ups; I could see it how she did. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, but more importantly I felt ashamed and embarrassed. Right then and there, I know what I needed to do.

The next day passed in a blur, school was boring, but I was with Bella. I knew I couldn't come over as Charlie would be at home and I still wasn't allowed in the house, yet, so this gave me the perfect opportunity to talk to Alice. Of course she knew it last night and told me so when I saw her this morning before first period.

Looking forward to it, Edward. I've missed you.

I saw sadness, even if it was only there for a moment, it was enough to cut me deep. We had so much to say and I had so much to be sorry for. But, many months ago, I promised myself I would make things right with her and that is what I was set on doing.

Once we had brought Bella home after school, I drove to a special place, just for Alice and me. A few miles later, I pulled off onto the small gravel rest area and we took off into the woods. Seconds later, I knew what would happen and I wasn't disappointed when I felt Alice jump on my back. She rested her head on my shoulder and I took off in a flash.

About forty minutes later we had arrive and Alice lithely sprang from my back and did a graceful back flip. "Show off," I muttered. In return she gave me a brilliant smile.

I could hear the roar of the waterfall we were coming up on. It was a peaceful place, one Alice and I had found on one of the first couple hunting trips we took when we arrive years earlier. Since then, it's been our place. Much like the meadow belonged to Bella and me, this belonged to us. It was the one place where we could be just us, the freaks among the freaks.

We sat down on the cliff edge, legs dangling. The spray from the waterfall rose in colorful mist. We both took time to gather our thoughts, to let the peace and quiet of the landscape soothe and calm us. As if it was choreographed, we reached for each others hands and twined them together.

"I know you know what I want to say, but can you still let me say it?"

Of course, I know it's important to you. Plus, I don't know everything you want to say. She lightly nudged my shoulder and I couldn't help but smile. She laid her head on my shoulder and mine fell on top of hers. This was the Edward and Alice I remembered, the one I loved, the one I missed.

"I didn't mean for it to go so wrong. I didn't even think about how much it would hurt you. All I saw and felt was my own pain and I forgot I was taking her way from you as well." I was whispering but I knew she could hear me.

"She isn't just your friend, she is your sister. She is the one person who accepted you for you and loved you for it as well. She made you feel human again, and I am so very sorry that I took her away. But even worse than that, you never got to tell her goodbye. I let her think that we all abandoned her, even you and you knew that."

Quiet sobs racked my body; I never understood how much I had hurt her until I figured it all out last night. Alice's arms wrapped around me and we rocked back and forth for a while. I clung to her, I didn't care if she thought I was desperate, I needed her to know how I felt.

"Then there were all the hurtful things I had said days later. I know you love her, that you want to protect her as much as I do. To pretend otherwise, I discounted all your feelings and your entire relationship with her. I should have listened to you, before, after- all of it. But most of all, thank you for coming to get me in Italy. You saved us both and for that I will be forever indebted to you."

She pulled back from our embrace and cradled my face in her hands. For a long few moments she looked in my eyes, searching and probing. "I know," she stated softly.

"You have a second chance here, Edward. Don't waste it."

I nodded emphatically. I knew that if I messed up again, I would lose Bella for good and that frightened me. I needed her in my life.

"With that said, you need to think long a hard about this not wanting to change her." I opened my mouth to speak and she held up her hand. "Let me finish. The entire time you two were apart, that part of your future never changed. Never. Not once did it waver, flicker or grow dimmer. It stayed true, sure and vibrant. "

She looked away for a moment and then straightening her shoulders, she turned back. "Sometimes being in love means sacrifice, sometimes it means compromising, but most importantly, it needs to be equal. No one person should hold all the power, it will never work. Think about it."

With that she sprung up and kissed my cheek. "Let's go home." Our talk was over and we were going to be fine. Another piece of my heart felt right, whole and unburdened. We ran hand in hand with Alice asking me to vault her up so she could do flips and spins. She was a graceful creature. A few miles from home Alice ground us to a halt.

With steely eyes and a determined face she gave me one last parting thought.

If you ever hurt her or try to remove her from this family, I will stop you. I will do whatever it takes, but I won't let you do that to us ever again. She spun on her heel and ghosted away. I had been warned.

In the days that followed my talk with Alice, I was finally feeling free of the guilt and pain that had hung over me. I felt lighter and free. Even Bella had commented that my demeanor was much more carefree and happy.

"I've just spent time talking to my family, trying to make amends, apologize for my abysmal behavior over the last few days. It feels better to get it out in the open and not have it eating away at me," I explained hugging her close to me.

"I am sure they have appreciated your efforts in setting things straight." She snuggled closer to me. I began to hum her lullaby to help her fall asleep.

Now, if I could figure out what to say to my parents. While they may never say it or show it, they were hurting as well. But more importantly, they were disappointed in me and the choices I had made. But, even though I made mistake after mistake, they stuck by me, supporting me and I threw it in their faces. I knew how devastated they had to be when they heard I had gone to Italy. I saw the stress and worry in their faces when we came home.

Now that I had been back some for some time, I still noticed they looked worried and stressed. I would catch snippets of their thoughts. Esme feared that I would take off; Carlisle worried more about Bella's impending change. He was concerned that I was upset with him for agreeing to change Bella, against my wishes. That was a whole different subject, one I will tackle at another point.

About four days after talking to Alice, I ran into Esme as I was coming back from Bella's. Summoning up some courage and inner strength, I dived right into repairing the last of my many transgressions.

"Esme, is Carlisle around?" I wanted to talk to them together, like team they were, the parents they were to me.

"He was called in; I was going to see him for his break." She gestured to the lunch basket she had made up, all in the name of keeping up pretenses.

"Do you mind if I tag along?" Suddenly I felt awkward and uncertain, desperate for a parent's attention and approval.

"Sure thing, sweetheart. Do you want to drive?" I nodded and silently we walked to my car.

As we drove, Esme angled herself towards me, a gentle smile on her face. "It's nice to have you and Bella home, where you belong."

I smiled. The message was implicit; if I tried to leave, she would dismember me and scatter the pieces. If I ever took Bella away from her, she would reduce me to ash. Message heard loud and clear, Mom.

Instead I nodded at her and replied with conviction, "There is no other place I'd want to be, forever by Bella's side."

She was unable to reply as we pulled into the hospital parking lot and we were out of the car and headed into the reception area. Sally, the ER receptionist directed us to Carlisle's office. "He's waiting for you Mrs. Cullen."

I followed Esme as we made our way to the office on the second floor. She knocked once and when he bade her enter, she opened the door wide enough for Carlisle to see that I had tagged along.

"Esme, Edward, such a wonderful surprise. Come in." His excitement over seeing me humbled me. After all that I had done, he still greated me with love and happiness.

"Actually, I asked Esme if I could come with her. I was hoping that I could talk to you both." I looked at them expectantly, for a second, I feared rejection from them. I had been horrible to them the last few months. But they were the epitome of unconditional love. I felt undeserving of their compassion and love.

"You are always welcome to come and speak to either of us, whenever you want. We are always here for you." Carlisle's words were comforting and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Esme nodding furiously.

We are always here for you Edward. I nodded to them both, indicating that I had heard them both.

Taking a deep breath, I just started talking, the need to get this final burden off my chest, to finally feel peace and whole.

"I need to tell you how sorry I am for the last several months. I know that I have disappointed you, hurt you, lied to you and in general let you down." I turned and faced Esme, whose eyes were swimming with unshed venom.

"That day in Vancouver when I told everyone that I was going to track Victoria, I knowingly lied to you. I knew you wouldn't let me go without a scene, so I blatantly lied. I didn't think about how you would feel when you realized I wasn't going to come back, but at the time, I didn't care." She reached for my hand and held it tight.

Turning to face them both, I continued on. "I'm sorry that I made us leave, that I removed you from Bella's life and that I didn't listen to you. I made a mistake and you will never know how sorry I am."

I looked over at the only man that ever made a lasting impression on me, "You supported me, even though you knew it was wrong. You backed me up against the family, you came to get me, and you even gave me an out, a chance to fix what I had done. But I stubbornly refused to listen to you. I turned my back on you."

I had to stop, there was too much emotion flowing through me. I listened as my parents struggled to figure out how to help, to give me the strength to continue on.

Still looking at Carlisle, I rushed to spit it all out. "You never told her what I intended to do when Bella died, you carried that burden for days. Then, the pain you must have felt when you learned I had gone to Italy." I shook my head unable to say anymore.

In a matter of seconds, I had four strong arms wrapped around me and I never felt safer. For this brief moment, I wanted to be the child and needed my parents to help me figure life out. To have them show me the errors of my ways, to give me their sage counsel and ages of wisdom.

"It is our job to give you the tools to make your own choices, Edward, to help you figure out who you are meant to be. Then when we feel you are mature enough, we step back and give you room to make your own mistakes, to learn your own life lessons." Carlisle paused, gathering his thoughts.

"Did I like seeing you in pain and hurting when I felt it was unnecessary? No, it nearly broke your mother and me to watch you self-destruct. But we knew there was nothing we could do but watch our son learn a very painful lesson." His voice cracked at the end. This was much harder on them than I ever believed.

"I hope you have learned something, Edward. Your relationship with Bella will never grow unless you learn to accept her love for what it is, and what she gives to you. You can't arbitrarily make decisions for the both of you; you need to be a partner in every sense of the word." Esme's words were calming, but I could hear the chastisement in them.

"I know you may not want to hear this son, but I would ask that you listen. I don't expect you to respond to my words; in fact I'd rather you spend some time thinking about them. Do you think you can do that?"

Deep in my heart I knew what he was going to talk about and I wasn't prepared to talk about it, but he only asked that I listened and it was the least I could do.

"I know, understand and respect your views on changing Bella. But if the past few months have taught all of us anything, it is that you and Bella belong together. A few decades will not be enough for her or for you. But I'd like you to think hard on the question I pose. If the situations were reversed and you were human and Bella was a vampire wouldn't you want to be changed to spend your life with her?"

With that they pulled away from me. Esme scooped me up into a tight hug and I returned it just as fiercely. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Mom."

Turning to Carlisle I saw the apprehension in his eyes, the fear that maybe he pushed me too far with his question. But for now I pushed it aside. Instead I chose to bask in the warm of my parent's affection, to feel their forgiveness sweep all remaining black stains and heaviness from my heart. I felt connected once again to those that meant the most to me and who made my life bearable and worth existing for. For now, that would be enough, there would be time, later, to ponder my father's question.

A/N: So now Edward has made amends and things are better. What did ya think? Much love to PisceanPal23 for cranking this baby out! Reviews will cheer me up because the end is near. Come on.. make me happy!