I Believe in Yesterday

I Believe in Yesterday

Chapter 28

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"Kouga remembers?" Rin looked flabbergasted before beaming and hugging Kouga. "Oh my gosh! And Inuyasha, too?"

"Are you positive?" Sesshoumaru frowned at the sudden interloper, mostly because Rin had just hugged him, which was clearly unnecessary.

"Well, okay," Kouga took a deep breath, "Just now, I was taping people, 'cause I just got a camera, right? And Inuyasha was pissy, like always, and he called me…wimpy wolf."

"That could be a coincidence." Sesshoumaru reasoned.

"No, no, that's what Inuyasha always called him in the last life." Kagome felt suddenly lightheaded, and she found herself standing up, and then sitting back down again suddenly. "If it is a coincidence…I mean, wimpy wolf? Where would he even get that?"

"Like, remember when I called you Sesshoumaru-sama!" Rin pointed out to her boyfriend. "Some people might have thought that was a coincidence, but that was…I mean…"

"Yes, I suppose I did not know him very well in the last life." Sesshoumaru frowned again, and Kagome was struck by the sudden question of whether he meant Kouga, or his own brother. "I could not say as well as you two what would be considered a memory of the last life or not. But I must say, I have known for some time, and I would occasionally…drop hints, but he never seemed to have any recollections of the past life, and I thought perhaps only I would remember, and until I met Rin…

"Okay, no fucking cuddling, this is serious!" Kouga threw up his hands, and Kagome had to stifle the urge to comment that he was currently extremely reminiscent of Inuyasha. "So maybe he didn't remember before, he didn't really seem to. Maybe it's like really recent."

"Do you think we should talk to him?" Rin asked, looking eager, and Kagome pushed down her immediate desire to agree.

"No…he needs to think about it. When he's ready, he'll tell me. I mean, you guys figured out that I'm the same Kagome, if Inuyasha can't figure it out that'd be kind of—"

"Typical." Sesshoumaru supplied, and she sighed heavily.

"Well…he isn't really stupid, I think you'd be surprised." Kagome pointed out hopefully.

"Yeah, well, he is 'fucking pre-med,' as he likes to remind us." Kouga smiled at her, and she returned the smile gratefully. "Do you think…do you think anyone else remembers?"

"Well…if they do, they don't really see any reason to tell me, clearly." She felt foolish for a moment as she realized what he meant. "Do you think Kagura…"

"No, no, I think that some of us aren't really meant to remember." He gave her a pained look, and Rin seemed confused as she tried to place what it would mean for Kagura to remember. She had very few memories of the woman, but in all of them, she was impressive and…kind of scary. "And if she does…I think it's better this way, honestly."

"Didn't…didn't you hate her?" Rin struggled to recall at least some of what Sesshoumaru had told her, and the look of pain on Kouga's face told her that she'd hit on something.

"Huh, I guess at first." He shook his head.

"They were…well, something bad happened." Kagome could guess that Kouga didn't really want to discuss his past with Rin and Sesshoumaru, the seemingly perfect and eternally happy couple. "If Sango remembers, she hasn't said anything. What about Miroku or Shippo?"

"They'd probably go to you before they went to me, I mean, why would they think, 'oh yeah, Kouga, I always confided in him' when you're here?" Kouga's smile was a bit forced, but she could see he was glad she'd changed the subject. "Kikyo?"

"Well, no knives in my back or Inuyasha's, so I'm guessing no." Kagome smiled, then sighed and shook her head. "No, that isn't fair. I mean, after what she did for us…I hope she doesn't ever have to remember. This life…it's much better for her, don't you think?"

"She's alive, so that's a bonus." Kouga cracked, and then shook his head. "No, you're right. And we can wait on Inuyasha. I'll just keep on…not saying things around him. No big change for me. But I thought you should know."

"I'll drop some hints." Kagome shrugged slightly. "I don't want him to sit there wondering if he's crazy when he could just come out with it."

"Sounds good." Kouga turned to leave, and she followed him out the door so she could talk to him away from Sesshoumaru and Rin.

"Hey," she hissed at him, and he turned, not realizing she'd followed him. "Do me a favor, okay?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't give up on her just yet." Kagome told him with a small smile. "And don't give up on yourself, either." He smiled, but couldn't really bring himself to answer her. He went back to his room, feeling almost as miserable as Inuyasha looked.

--

A few days later, Kagura was whistling to herself and hunching over something in her bed while Shippo tried not to notice the gulf of space between him and Kikyo on the bed. But when Kagura ran out of the room, he decided to say something.

"Kikyo, are you okay?" Shippo had noticed lately that Kikyo was acting a bit odd, and he felt like she was hiding something from him, because she wouldn't really meet his eyes. He didn't understand what it was, but he wanted her to tell him, because he was sure that whatever it was, they would be able to handle it together.

"I'm fine." She told him, not really looking up from her book. He realized suddenly that she'd been on the same page for half an hour. He sighed heavily and set his own books aside, turning to her.

"Only, you seem really distant lately, and I want you to know, whatever it is that's bothering you, I want to help." He told her earnestly. She turned to him, and for the first time in over a week, looked him straight in the eyes. Suddenly, she let out a trembling sob, and he felt his alarm bells all go off as he shoved her books aside, taking her in his arms. "Kikyo?"

"I'm sorry," she sounded calm even now, when she was crying, but he could hear the pain in her voice. "It's nothing, it's stupid, but I just…it's so weird, and I can't help thinking there's something wrong…"

"Why don't you tell me?" he asked her, and she shook her head violently, smearing her tears over his shirt. "Why not?"

"I can't…I have to just…if the dreams stop, it can all be better again." She told him, and he felt so relieved to have something to grasp on to he almost smiled.

"Bad dreams?" he asked.

"Yeah," she told him, pulling back. "There's one where everyone watches me get pulled into hell with a monster. All of my friends…except you, they're all watching…"

"If you needed help, you know they care about you." Shippo told her, kissing her forehead. "You know that."

"I…I do." She sniffled. "And in one…I kill Inuyasha."

"Well, he probably deserved it." Shippo joked, and she couldn't help laughing at that. "Hey, see? It's not worth getting upset over dreams! They're just dreams."

"In…in one," she burrowed her face against him. "In one, Inuyasha kisses me." She pulled back, "But I love you, I do."

"I know that," Shippo didn't show any anger if he felt any. "If you have a dream where you marry Kagura and you have a bunch of kids, do you think I'll get jealous? It's just a dream. This is what's real." He kissed her, and she melted against him in relief.

Somehow, knowing that Shippo knew about the dreams, that he didn't care, made her feel braver. It made her love him even more.

--

Kagura was feeling very pleased with herself as she marched upstairs. Kouga's birthday was a week away, and things were coming together perfectly. The kimono was almost completely done, but she had realized when trying it on that it just didn't look right without the proper accessories. She had the fan, of course, but what she wanted were a couple feathers for her hair. She was on a mission

I wonder if this was how Miroku felt when he was doing all his secret love missions for Sango. She giggled slightly as she looked up and down the hallway, not that she was likely to run into Kouga up here on the fifth floor, but still, she felt like she was a spy or something. It was great. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so happy, so sure of herself, and so scared all at the same time.

Trying to be less like a fourteen year-old girl, she hoped she was succeeding in wiping the dopey grin off her face as she ran across the hall and burst into Miroku and Shippo's room.

"Hey, can I have a ride—" she froze, the blood draining from her face momentarily before the scene processed fully, and she burst into mad laughter, pretending to try and get a better view as Sango scrabbled to pull a sheet over at least her own nudity. Miroku, who seemed to be very used to having people walk in on his most intimate moments, or was just amazingly self-assured, simply raised an eyebrow at Kagura.

"Perhaps a bit later would be a better time, I think." He offered.

"Kagura! Shut the damn door!" Sango used one hand to clutch the sheet over their poorly concealed forms, and another to throw a pillow, which didn't really hurt enough to stop Kagura from laughing.

"Never mind, I guess Sango's already getting a ride." Kagura finally had the good grace to look away, but couldn't resist one last shot before closing the door. "Congratulations, by the way, Sango."

"Thank you!" Kagura knew it was Miroku, and she could see the smirk on his face just from the tone of voice. She was pretty sure he had misunderstood, because she hadn't even seen that. She was just saying that Sango had very nice breasts. Although he was probably pretty proud of that, as well.

Well, seems like everything's going fine there. Although that means I can't have a ride until they're finished. Lame. Maybe I can get Kikyo to get Shippo to drive me…

Thinking that this was a very good plan, clearly, Kagura nearly skipped down the stairs and back to her own room, brimming with excitement over her project, and also itching to tell Kikyo all about how she had just seen Miroku and Sango naked.

"Guess whose boobs I just saw!" she exclaimed as she burst into her room, realizing too late that maybe, just maybe, she should knock.

"Kagura!" Kikyo was not really one for yelling, but she was also not really one for being seen shirtless in a compromising position with her boyfriend. "Try knocking!"

"Um, okay, I explained how sexile works!" Kagura was too affronted to even pretend to look away this time. Although at least they had more clothes on, and Shippo was surprisingly swift with a comforter when the need arose, it turned out. "You have to either lock the door, or leave a sign, or like, a scrunchy or a sock or something on the doorknob so I know not to come in! Because this is my room, too, and if I want to burst in without knocking and tell you all about seeing Miroku and Sango way more naked than you two, I might point out, then I should be able to without worrying about seeing whether Shippo's hair is really that color!"

"Would you get out already?" Kikyo glared viciously, and Kagura stuck her tongue out, turning to leave. "And learn to knock!" her roommate called after her. Kagura snorted and walked straight across the hall, feeling that it was time for her uppance to come. She had only one place she could think of that she could trust would be totally free of naked people. Still, this time, she knocked.

"What's up?" Kouga asked, answering the door, brushing back his bangs and leaving a smudge of charcoal on his forehead in the process. Kagura decided not to tell him, although she really wanted to kiss the spot. She decided probably that was a bad plan, and clearly she had been around too many pheromones today.

"I'm hanging out in here." She announced, brushing past him and taking up residence on his bed, sitting in a way that somehow made it seem that this was her room, and she was only letting Inuyasha and Kouga visit her. "Everyone else is what's up. Or who."

"What?" Inuyasha looked up from his homework. "What are you doing in here?"

"Don't be a dick, she can hang out in here, we're always in her room." Kouga glared at his roommate, trying to decide whether it was okay to sit on his bed with Kagura and deciding that he would sit in Inuyasha's ugly armchair instead.

"Well, yeah, why isn't she in there, is all I meant." Inuyasha grumbled, feeling annoyed that Kouga was in his chair, just because he felt like being annoyed with Kouga at the moment.

"Because, everyone's having sex, and this is the only room I feel like I'm not going to get sexiled from!" Kagura threw up her hands, ready for pity. "I saw Miroku and Shippo and Kikyo and Sango all naked, or mostly naked, and I didn't even really get a good look! I mean, who doesn't want to know if Miroku's worth all the trouble? But I got yelled at and things were thrown, and I just wanted a ride, and I can't help that it's spring and they're all like weird sex bunnies who can't remember the simple rules of sexile and just put something on the door!"

"They were all naked in your room?" Inuyasha looked confused and doubtful all at the same time. "What…the hell?"

"No, no, no, you idiot!" Kagura shook her head. "It's always a cage match with you, isn't it? No! See, Miroku and Sango were in Miroku's room, and then when I went back to my room to wait for them so I could go…run some errands, I walked in on Shippo and Kikyo! And Sango and Miroku could move down to her room, so that's no good, so I came in here, since neither of you guys are getting any."

"Um, I have a girlfriend." Inuyasha reminded her. Kagura laughed incredulously.

"Yeah, we're all aware of the Kagome situation, so yeah, no, I don't really think that's any risk for me." Kagura teased him, and Inuyasha growled at her suddenly before storming out of the room. "What the hell?"

"Uh…things are going kinda weird right now for him." Kouga still didn't know whether or not she remembered, so he couldn't explain the situation to her. "And Kagome and him are having…sort of a fight." It wasn't exactly a lie. It was pretty obvious to him that Inuyasha was in complete denial over his memories, or something along those lines, because Kagome was dropping pretty obvious hints that he let past without comment or any hint of recognition.

Maybe I was wrong…maybe he doesn't remember?

Or maybe…things ended badly between Kagome and him, too? Maybe something happened that he wants to forget?

"So what sort of errands were you going to run?" he asked, trying to change the subject to something less dangerous.

"Boring stuff." Kagura lied neatly. "Here, lemme draw Sango's boobs for you, they're great." She reached for his sketchbook, and Kouga handed it over, happy that she was distracted. Happy that she was here, and maybe happy that when things were like this…he could almost imagine things between them weren't so hopeless.

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The End (Of Part 28, That Is)