Disclaimer... I do not own Twilight
A/N: seriously you guys all rock!! I love the reviews.
On with the Story!!
Chapter 29: Heart Broken
BPOV.
We got to the hospital in lighting speed thanks to Edward's driving. I met my dad in the hallway of the maternity ward and we ran into Marissa's room, she was hooked up to all kinds of machines. I could hear the baby's heart beat echoing throughout the room. Marissa had an oxygen mask on her face and IV's in her arms. I felt a little faint when looking at her.
"Bella. the baby has to come today, Marissa's water broke and she has some bleeding, she wants you here with us she would not go any further till you were here." My dad walked towards Marissa, grabbed her hand and bent down to kiss her forehead.
Marissa looked over at me, she pulled her oxygen mask off, I walked over to her and she said "I am glad you are here." I took her hand in mine as she placed the mask back on her face with the other hand.
There were doctors and nurses standing in a circle in front of her bed, they were talking in riddles, or so it sounded like that to me.
"OK Marissa, we are going to wheel you into the operating room now." One of the doctors said. He put a big blue binder at her feet and two nurses started to wheel Marissa out of the room.
"Bella, Charlie, please put these on and follow me to the OR." A nurse handed us scrubs, my father and I put them on quickly and followed.
There were 2 doctors and 2 nurses over by a tiny bed with bright orange lights and all kinds of equipment. The nurse looked over at me "that is an incubator; the baby is going to go in that as soon as it is out, and those are the doctors and nurses that will be helping the baby." With tears in my eyes, I looked over at my dad and squeezed his arm.
I didn't know what to expect, I have seen a C-Section on TV but when is TV ever the same as real life? Luckily for us, there was a big blue sheet covering us from being able to see any of the gory stuff the doctors did. My dad and I sat next to Marissa. Every so often my dad would bend down and kiss Marissa and whisper I love you.
After about 10 minutes the doctor announced "it's a boy." Marissa immediately started to cry. My dad kissed her forehead and I gave her cheek a kiss.
I peaked up and over to see if I could get glimpse of my bother, there was no crying sound like you see on the movies there was just complete silence except for the doctors telling the nurses to hand them things that I could not understand.
"Charlie, please go see the baby please go see him." Marissa begged
"I'll go." I said. I was not sure where this confidence was coming from and I didn't know what to expect when I got there but I had to be strong.
I walked over to where the doctors and nurses were standing. They were sticking a tube down his throat one nurse had two fingers at his breast bone. She was counting to three then firmly pressing down. Once the tube was in his throat another nurse attached a blue bag looking device and squeezed it, his tiny little chest rose up every time she did that. His lips were blue but his face was a little pink. He looked like he could fit in the palm of my hand, he was long and tiny.
"This machine is monitoring him." The nurse looked over at me and pointed to a small machine with all kinds of numbers on it. She explained that it is monitoring his blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen level and once they brought him to the NICU, another machine would breath for him. She moved over and pointed for me to go a little closer to him. "We need to take him away. The doctor will be out with an update in a while."
I looked over at my tiny little brother who looked just like my dad. I leaned down close to him "I love you CJ." I whispered and I watched as they took my little brother away.
All of the sudden there was a loud beeping noise and the doctor kicked something and screamed "A positive stat." He looked over at the nurse and she came walking over to my dad and me. "I need for you guys to wait outside." She reached out for my dad but he pushed her arm away. "What is going on? Please someone tell me what the HELL is going on?" The nurse reached for my dad again and this time I grabbed his arm and pulled him with me. The nurse took us outside.
"Mr. Swan your wife is losing a lot of blood it is better that you are out here please I will be back as soon as I can." The nurse gave a small apologetic smile and turned around and ran back into the room.
My dad fell to his knees he was sobbing into his hands. I bent down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. "Dad it is going to be OK, we have to have faith, and we need to be strong for Marissa and CJ."
My dad looked up at me "CJ?" He asked
"Well I know you and Marissa where having a hard time with names and he looks just like you so I thought Charlie JR and we can call him CJ for short.
"I love it Bella and I know Marissa will too." My dad said as we stood up and we went to sit down in the chairs that were in the hallway.
I looked up at the clock, it was just about midnight. "Dad everyone is out in the waiting room I am going to go tell them what we know so far I will be right back." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and I walked out the double doors.
I saw some of the nurses at the desk, they were counting down 5….4….3….2…1.
When I got to the waiting room I stopped dead in my tracks. I looked up and saw Edward grab Tanya's face in a kiss. My heart felt like someone was reaching in and stabbing it.
"It's a boy, and he is not doing so well, I need to get back, please do not let me interrupt." I could feel my face burning, my eyes watered and I turned around and walked away
"Bella, Bella, wait" I did not turn around, I did not stop, I just let the tears flow down my face and I walked back to be with my family, putting Edward and Tanya in the back of my mind.
EPOV (Ya we have a EPOV) Boy did I miss my Edward…LOL
"Bella, Bella, wait." I called after her but she just kept on walking.
"Let her go." Tanya said grabbing my arm
"Tanya, don't!" I grabbed her wrists, and pushed them down to her sides I looked in her dark mean eyes "This stops now Tanya, right now. I want you packed and out of my house, out of my life and out of Bella's life you are evil and I am so sorry I ever felt bad for you."
"What is going on here?" I heard Alice call as her and the rest of my family got off the elevator.
"Nothing, Tanya was just leaving. Weren't you Tanya?" I still had her wrists in my hands and I realized that I was squeezing them pretty hard. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.
"Edward you are hurting me, please, let me go." I removed my hands and she turned around and ran away.
Alice came up to me "Edward what the hell was that about?"
I told everyone about how Tanya had said Happy New Year and then when I turned to say it back, she started to kiss me, I went to grab her face to pull her away and Bella was at the door. I repeated Bella's words; they stung just as bad as they did when I first heard them.
"Edward you have got to be kidding me, what are you going to do, Bella has been through so much since the day Tanya walked back into our lives. She has been so strong about everything and now for Tanya to do this. When I see her again, I am going to….."
"Alice enough!" I yelled. I felt sick to my core about this already. Bella and her family are going through the worst hell ever and I was stupid enough to allow Tanya to act the way she was acting. I should have put her in her place a long time ago. I can't believe that this is happening now.
"Edward." I heard my dad yell to me he, my mom, and Tanya came walking out of the elevator.
"What happened?" my mom asked as she brought me into a hug.
I explained what happened with Marissa and the baby and within seconds my dad was headed out back to check on everything. My mom pulled me aside and asked me what happened with Tanya and why she was running and crying. I told my mom that things with Tanya have gone too far and I wanted her out of our house. I did not go into any detail.
"We will deal with that after," my mom said "but Edward, you do not have the authority to tell Tanya to leave. Your father and I are her guardians now."
"Mom not now please!" I snapped "but know this, it is not over. She has gone too far." I looked over at Tanya with hate in my eyes she walked to a chair in the corner, put her knee's up, buried her head and cried softly.
I took a seat as far away from Tanya as possible I let my face fall in to my hands. I can't believe how stupid I am, all this bad stuff that has been happening to my poor Bella. I should have never let any of this with Tanya get as far as it has. How was I going to make this up to her? Would she ever forgive me? Was she just trying to be nice by telling me not to say anything to Tanya? Did deep down inside she want me to say something to her? Oh god what have I done, I made a mess out of everything. I ruined everything that Bella and I built if I was her I would never forgive me. I can't believe I let Tanya go this far.
My dad, Charlie and Bella came walking into the waiting room. I looked up and saw Charlie, his eyes were all red and swollen. I looked over at Bella she had tears flowing down her face. She held onto Charlie's arm as they walked towards us. I jumped up and went to grab Bella's hand but she brushed it away and flew into Alice and Rose's arms.
My heart ached. I wanted to be the one comforting her I wanted to be the one that she ran to but instead she pushed me away. I stood there frozen, as I watched Bella be comforted by someone other than me.
"Charlie what is it? What happened?" Esme walked up to Charlie and put her arm around him.
Charlie explained how Marissa's water broke and when she got to the hospital the baby was under stress and they needed to perform and emergency C section to get him out. Then Marissa lost a lot of blood, they had to perform an emergency hysterectomy on her.
"CJ is in critical condition, the next 48 hours are touch and go. He is not breathing on his own. Both his lungs dropped, he weighs 2 pounds 8 ounces." Charlie was just rambling facts, he really had no clue what was truly happening.
"CJ?" Esme asked.
"Yes, CJ, he looks just like my dad so for now, till Marissa wakes up and approves, we are calling him Charlie Jr, CJ for short." Bella said.
Alice and Rose still had their arms around Bella, she was quietly crying, she would not even look at me. Charlie and Esme sat down. We all stood in silence for a few minutes before the doctor came out and called Bella and Charlie back to the room.
Before Bella walked away I grabbed her arm. "I am not going anywhere Bella, I am going to stay right here till we can talk, and I love you."
"Edward I can't do this now, please just go home, if you want to help me, just go home." I could hear the hurt in her voice, and the damaged I had caused sent a wave of guilt over me. She pulled her arm out of my grip and turned around and walked away without even looking back. I stood there and watched as the love of my life walked away from me.
"Edward let's go." Alice Said "Bella is right, there is nothing you can do for her here." Rose added "They are not going to allow any of us back there, it is much better if we go home and sleep. We can come back in the morning." Alice was trying to convince me but I was not listening.
"Alice I made a mess out of everything and I am not leaving in till I talk to Bella." I went and sat back down on the chair. I stretched my legs out, leaned my head on the wall and closed my eyes.
"I am sorry Edward, truly I am." Tanya was standing in front of me I could see her shadow behind my eye lids. I completely ignored her then I heard her sniffle and walk away.
I think my family got the point because I peeked through one eye and realized I was alone. I allowed my heavy eye lids to shut even tighter and fall into an uncomfortable sleep with thoughts of what I had done to Bella running through my mind.
BPOV
My dad and I sat in Marissa's room. The nurses brought in a cot for me to sleep on but my dad did not want one he sat right next to Marissa holding her hand.
I was exhausted, I could not believe what was happening. My baby brother was fighting for his life, my step mother was fighting for hers as well and I was struggling with thoughts of Edward and Tanya. I needed him so bad right now, he was my back bone, the person I counted on more than anyone else but I could not get the image of him kissing Tanya out of my mind.
I hated asking Edward to leave, but I knew I had to. I really could not do this with him now. I saw the hurt and guilt in his eyes as I spoke and I hated myself for that.
I hated myself for letting Tanya get as far as she has with this. What have I done? I let her come between me and Edward just like she wanted to. I let her win. Deep down inside I knew there was an explanation but for now I could not deal with that, I needed to concentrate on my family.
I was not sure what time it was or what day it was when I woke up. I sat up and felt a little dizzy, I had to look around to see where I was then I remembered all the past events. I stood up and walked over to Marissa, my dad was sleeping in the chair Marissa was on her side she was holding on to my dad's hands.
I walked out of the room and went to the nurse's station. "Well good evening Miss. Swan." One of the nurses said as I approached the desk.
"Hello." I replied.
"How is my brother?" I asked.
"He had a good night last night, your dad and Marissa where able to see him this afternoon, would you like to see him?" she asked
"My dad and Marissa? What day is it?" I asked confused
"It is the 2nd, your dad and Marissa where with CJ a little while ago, they tried to wake you but you were in a sound sleep. Oh and Miss Swan, you still have a visitor here, he has not left since the birth. He is a very stubborn young man." Edward, I thought to myself as the nurse spoke.
"Is he still in the waiting room?" I asked
"Yes, we gave him a cot, his family has been back as well trying to convince him to leave but he said he was waiting to talk to you. If you would like, you can go see him and I will talk to the nurse about letting you in to see CJ."
"Thank you." I smiled.
I turned towards the waiting room, took a deep breath and walked in. I can't believe he has been her for almost 2 days. I looked at the clock on the wall of the waiting room, it was 8:30. Edward was on the cot he had his hands crossed behind his neck, he was still wearing the same clothes he had on for New Year's. His eyes were closed but I could tell he was not sleeping.
"Edward." I said softly he jumped up off the Bed. "Bella!" He went to reach for my hand but I did not grab it, I walked over to his cot and sat down, he sat down next to me. I put my hands under my legs, as much as I wanted to reach out and grab him I couldn't.
"Bella please let me explain."
"Edward, I'm sorry!" I blurted out and he gave me a confused look.
"Why the hell are you sorry? You did nothing. It was me all me. Bella please know that I did not kiss Tanya. She said Happy New Year to me and I turned to say it back and she kissed me, I grabbed her face to pull her away. Bella I swear to you on my life that I did not kiss her. Oh Bella please you have to believe me."
I heard his words and I understood what he was saying but there was a part of me that could not do this anymore. I was getting weaker by the minute. I loved Edward and I wanted to be with him, I wanted to reach out and grab him and kiss him and tell him that I believed him and that everything was going to be OK, but I couldn't, all these strange feelings came back to me. All the strange feelings I had about becoming my mother, about the intensity of our relationship and now the worst part, the part I hated to talk about. He was leaving for Boston and I knew there was no way I could go with him.
I met his gaze and reached for his hands. "Edward, I believe you, really I do. But I can't do this anymore. Please, please understand. I love you, I always will." I said nothing else. I stood up, bent down and gave his cheek a kiss and whispered in his ear "always and forever." I turned around and walked away the tears flowing down my face. My heart was breaking but I needed time, time to gather my thoughts, time to figure things out, I needed to go and be with my brother and parents.
A/N Again, thank you, thank you, thank you for my reviews. I will try to have another chapter up tomorrow night. I want to try and write a few chapters in advance. I want to be ahead of the game for when school starts for my kids. So if I do not update for a few days please be patient with me…sorry!!
