I'm so sorry. Disclaimer- I don't own Star Wars the Clone Wars or any of its characters


Chapter 29

Ahsoka POV

Ahsoka didn't want anyone to know that she was dying, especially not Anakin. He'd gone through so much during her recovery. She couldn't just tell him now that it had all been for not. She was dying. There was nothing to do about it except live the next 4 months cherishing every moment, because after four months she could drop dead at any moment.


Three months later Ahsoka was doing well. Sure it got harder to breathe here and there but she was tortured once. She could handle a little breathing issue.

For those three months no one new except the four people that were in the room the day she was diagnosed. Only when Ahsoka thought that maybe she actually could keep the secret did someone else find out.

She was just walking the halls with Rex. They were talking about mechanical engineering on their way to the cafeteria on Coruscant. Ahsoka glared at Rex, "You've never fixed a hyper drive? Rexter, that's the easiest thing in the book. It's not even half as hard as fixing a speeder."

Rex shrugged, "I've never gotten a chance too. There's always someone who gets there to fix it before me. Most of the time it was you Gen-" Rex looked back when he noticed Ahsoka was no longer walking beside him. He assumed she was just falling behind. He was surprised when he saw her leaning against a wall gasping for breath.

"General." Rex went over to her. "What is it?"

Ahsoka couldn't respond. She could only cough and gasp for breath. She'd already tried her inhaler enough times to know that that wouldn't help. Most of the time when these attacks came to her she was alone. This was the first time someone else was actually around. And worse-she couldn't escape.

She tried to say something along the lines of, "I'm fine," but didn't remember if she actually got the words out of her mouth. The only thing she remembered for sure is her body falling on the cold hard floor.


A familiar light blared in Ahsoka's eyes as she woke up. Underneath her she felt the hospital bed she'd once grown so familiar with. It didn't take long for her to sit up and for her vision to clear.

"How long was I out?" She rubbed her eyes still trying to get used to the blinding glare.

"Only about 15 minutes." Ahsoka's vision cleared to see Jardie and Rohdyn standing in front of her holding out a glass of water. She took it graciously and noticed the other figure in the room. Next to Rohdyn was a person Ahsoka never wanted to tell about her newest condition.

No it wasn't Anakin.

Ahsoka smiled warily, "Hey Rexter."

Rex didn't respond. He didn't even sigh or shake his head like Ahsoka expected him too. He just stood there with an expression that she couldn't read.

"Jardie and I will be back in a moment," Rohdyn said as an excuse to get out of the room. She had been caring for Ahsoka for a long time. She knew Rohdyn and Jardie well enough. They just wanted to escape the room and give Ahsoka and Rex a chance to talk.

After they left the room Ahsoka was the first to speak. "What did they tell you?"

"They just said you'd be alright."

His tone was stern and to the point. "What's going on Ahsoka?"

Ahsoka sighed. This was the first person she'd ever have to tell that she was dying. Somehow she found the courage to tell him. "There is poison running through my circulatory system from when I was tortured and there's nothing to do about it."

Rex said nothing. He knew what was coming next.

"I'm dying."

What is anyone ever supposed to say after you get news like that? Most people wouldn't say anything. This is the route Rex took. Other people like Anakin would go into denial. Except Rex wasn't Anakin. He was just another old friend that Ahsoka had to tell the bad news too.

"How long do you have?" Rex tried not to show any emotion in his voice but that was impossible. Ahsoka could see right through him. She'd known him for long enough to see that this actually was affecting him.

"I have about a month until every minute is life or death."

Silence.

"Rex, can you- I can't tell General Skywalker."

Rex's eyebrows shot up at this. "The General doesn't know?"

Ahsoka bit her lip, "no."

"General, you need to tell him."

"Rex you know I can't." She cut him off before he could get a chance to interrupt her. "Put yourself in my shoes. You'd do the same thing. I know you well enough to know that you would do the exact same thing I'm doing Rex. You wouldn't walk around telling people you're dying; you'd hold out and keep the damage minimal."

"Your right." Ahsoka almost got to feel like she'd won. "But I'd also want someone to talk me out of it too."

"And you're going to talk me out of it?"

Rex's glare focused, "I think you're the only one who can do that."

Ahsoka put her head in her hands and gradually ran them up so that they grazed over her face. "If I tell him, he'll put me in a hospital bed and then run off trying to find some cure that doesn't exist." She saw Rex start to object. "Wait. Just listen to me. I have scoured every book and server; there is no cure for a disease that doesn't exist. I'm a person that can't be saved Rex. I have different poisons inside me that have combined together and blended into my body. This has never been done before and there is no way out of it."

"I'd rather spend my last minute as a person with everyone that I've grown to be friends with, instead of being stuck to a hospital bed, dying alone while all my friends are who knows where looking for an antidote that is impossible to find."

She knew she'd won. A single look at Rex's face said that he had nothing else to say that could compare to that. "I won't tell him."

"Thank you."

Rex started to leave the room but turned around when he reached the doorway. "And Ahsoka," she lifted her gaze back to his. "I am sorry."


A month later Ahsoka still hadn't told Anakin. She couldn't. She physically couldn't do it. It hurt whenever she even thought about telling him. Eventually he became suspicious and Ahsoka had to tell him.


Anakin POV

Anakin followed his former Padawan one of the times she excused herself from the room. She'd been doing it for months and he wondered where she went. He followed her into the hallway in time to see her- coughing? She was coughing pretty badly. He had to do something.

He came out from his hiding place and walked up to Ahsoka. She was leaning forward and nearly hacking her lungs out. Anakin didn't know what to do except pat her on the back and wait for it to be over.


Ahsoka POV

She didn't say anything when Anakin came out. She couldn't; she was coughing too hard. Between the coughs, she was trying to let air into her lungs. There was no point where she could try to explain to Anakin what was happening.

She wasn't just coughing. She was dying. And it's been four months. This could be it. She could die right now and Anakin wouldn't even know what was happening. That would be awful.

In the end the force gave her the miracle of not dying in that moment. She stopped coughing and was able to stand up straight again. Ahsoka leaned against the wall and caught her breath as Anakin stared cautiously at her.

"Are you okay?"

It was a harmless question. The answer wouldn't be as harmless though. No, she had to tell him. It was time and he deserved to know.

"No." Tears started to form in her eyes as she stared up at the only person who's always been there for her since she first met him.

"Ahsoka what's wrong?"

He didn't know what was wrong. He really didn't know. He should've known from the moment she was diagnosed but she was to stubborn to tell him.

"Just hear me out okay?" He nodded suspiciously. Ahsoka took a deep breath and looked at her former Master. "I went to see Dr. Reed a few months ago." She could've sworn she saw him stiffen right then. Still she continued. "After some x-rays they found toxins that've bonded into my blood stream."

She couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't take the awful look on his face. Ahsoka came out with it. "I'm dying."

It was silent.

Ahsoka knew it would be silent. She put herself in Anakin's shoes and she would do the same thing. Ahsoka wouldn't be able to say anything; she wouldn't know what to say.

"No you're not."

Ahsoka's attention spiked. She raised her eyebrows and turned to look more intently at Anakin. She wasn't expecting him to say that. "What?"

Anakin's look was still stern. "You're not dying." Ahsoka furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I don't know if this is a lie or if it's real. Either way you are not dying."

"Sky-Guy…"

"Don't. Ahsoka, stop it. I don't want to hear-"

"But you have to hear!" Ahsoka yelled. She lowered her voice once Anakin turned her attention fully to her. "I am dying and there is nothing to do about it. There is no cure-" Anakin started shaking his head in denial. "No, listen to me! I have come to terms with this and if you care about me in the least… you will too."

Anakin was still shaking his head. "There's a cure. There has to be. There's always a cure."

"In this case there isn't." Ahsoka was done with Anakin shaking his head. She reached out and grabbed her friend's arms. This caught his attention and his eyes connected with hers. Ahsoka saw the mix of confusion and sadness in his eyes. She also saw a hint of anger in them as well.

"Please don't make this harder for me than it already is Anakin. I don't want to regret telling you. Don't make me." Ahsoka couldn't do less than beg at that moment.

Anakin's face softened, "What do you want me to do Ahsoka? What am I supposed to be doing right now? I don't have a 'what to do when your Padawan is dying' pamphlet!"

"Well I don't have a pamphlet on what to do when I'm the one dying!"

She couldn't take it anymore. Ahsoka stormed off down the hall in the opposite direction.


A/N- So I've gotten a lot of reviews in the last chapter and most of them are along the lines of 'don't kill Ahsoka,' but one said something like 'I knew it. Her surviving would be too good to be true,' and I nearly cried at that. I know I've said it before but I'm sorry. I am. I'm so sorry. -Saraphine