Chapter 29

I stare out the large glass doors, watching the sun rays dance on the pool's surface. Little ripples span the water as a gentle breeze passes by. I long to jump into the crisp blue and swim with a burst, releasing the pent up energy from the flight, but I know Mitch is too consumed with the move, and will not approve.

Pushing aside my desires, my sights drift to the privacy fence that encloses the back, leaving only the roof tops of the surrounding homes in view. My eyes flit around the yard, the grass is dry, almost burnt and the land is dotted with a few sparse trees. It's not much to look at, but the large rough paver patio is gorgeous and a bubble of excitement surges through me as I imagine myself dipping in the cool water, pulling a baby inner tube by my side.

"What're thinking about?" says Mitch as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

I place my hands on his and say, "Just thinking about being in the pool…with the baby." I turn to him with teary eyes, throw my arms around his neck and kiss him.

"Do you love the house?" he asks, breaking free from my passionate embrace, like a child too excited to stay still.

"I do Mitch, it's nicer than I imagined."

"Good Mia, because your happiness means more to me than anything else."

I can feel my eyes widen with excitement and I say, "Can we jump into the pool now?"

Mitch releases a giggle. "Well, I don't have my swim trunks."

"We don't need them," I implore. "Look at that fence." I turn and sweep my hand toward the outside.

"The movers will be here within the hour Mia." He ruffles my hair, then touches my nose with his fingertip.

"Another time, maybe?" I ask.

"Of course." He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his spiky hair. "Hey, you must be tired. Why don't you stay here and I'll go get some food for the week."

"I want to go with you," I say.

"You just relax here and stay in case the movers come early. I'll be back in forty minutes tops. And tomorrow you'll get to meet my mother."

"But don't you want to show me the rest of the house," I say apprehensively.

"It's our house Mia, explore it, and get some ideas."

He delivers one last kiss then races out the door. I find myself alone, and in a house much larger than the one in Texas. All grows silent except for the filter of the pool, giggling, as if mocking my solitude.

I turn from the large glass doors, the sound of my steps on the ceramic tile echoing throughout the house, and find my way to the kitchen. It is huge, complete with state of the art stainless steel appliances. The cabinets are large, caramel stained wood. I approach the sink in the island and stare out the window, finding just the right spot for a play set, where I can wash dishes and watch my child play.

A smile creeps across my face as my thoughts turn to the nursery. With a quick step, I rush to the other side of the house and find the master bedroom, the only one with two huge doors. I step inside, in awe of the coiffured ceiling, like nothing I have ever seen. It's opulence I am not accustomed to, and it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I am stepping into the life of a kept woman, not what I want to be. Taking a deep breath, I tell myself that I will be independent and will continue to work even after the baby is born, no matter what. Mitch, I am certain, will try to convince me to finish my commitment to the military and stay at home. I am determined not to grow complacent with this luxurious lifestyle, just in case I have to return to more meager means.

My eyes drift from the ceiling to the large French doors that lead out to the pool. I imagine hopping out of bed in the morning and slipping into the water for a swim, just as the sun begins to break the horizon.

I look back into the room and my sights trail off to the master bath. I venture in and a surge of excitement clamps my chest as I eye the huge Jacuzzi style tub, situated against the back wall, surrounded by large glass block windows. Without hesitation, I climb into the tub and lay back, staring at the ceiling.

Mitch is a wealthy man, a good man, a man who loves me despite the possibility of my child not being his. He can have any woman he wants, so why me? I try to shake the thought from my head, but cannot help but feel there is something dark about Mitch that I cannot quite figure out. Sure he is a little controlling, but not like Ben, and he has a passionate loving side that makes my heart leap with joy. I need to accept that he loves me and stop questioning his motives.

Casting negative thoughts from my head, I spring out of the tub and find the other bedrooms. There are a total of three and I pick the largest one as the baby's room. As I stare out the window at the large back yard and the glistening pool, the heat seeping through the window begins to make me sweat. An idea pops into my head, which I try to dismiss, but cannot. I race back to the family room, tear off my clothes, open the sliding glass doors and jump into the pool.

The water shocks me at first, my heart seizing as if hit by a jolt of electricity. When I burst through the surface, I gasp and welcome the warmth of the sun that falls on my face. Taking long strokes, I swim to the end of the pool, and grasp the concrete edge. I push off from the wall, glide on my back, close my eyes, and enjoy the wave of heat that caresses my body.

'Logan would've stayed with me…jumped in and worried about groceries later,' I tell myself.

I push back the tears that threaten to engulf me and remind myself that the baby is most likely his and that Mitch will be a good provider. I exhale, bring my toes to my fingertips and sink to the bottom. I land with a light thud, move my feet under me and push off the floor, breaking the surface.

"Excuse me," calls a voice.

I blink the burning chlorine water from my eyes and focus on the boot clad feet before me. Gasping, I wrap an arm around my chest and pull close to the side of the pool.

"I'm sorry to startle you," he says with a laugh, "but we're here with your things and we're on a tight schedule."

"We?" I say, anxiously looking around, but seeing no one.

"Yes, but they're up front, I won't let them come back here." He squats down and looks me in the face, his eyes alive with amusement. "Can I get you some clothes…or perhaps help you out of the pool?" His smile broadens.

"That won't be necessary," says Mitch angrily, creeping up from behind.

My heart plummets like a rock in water and I cast my eyes away from the worker.

"You shouldn't have come back here. Return to the front and I'll let you in shortly," he barks like a command sergeant.

The man rises slowly to his feet, the smile having left his face. His fingers twitch and then form into tightly clenched fists. Without a word, he turns and leaves.

Mitch stands before me, one hand on his hip and the other tightly grasping the clothes I had torn off before jumping into the pool.

"Really Mia?" He says, his voice taking the tone of a scolding parent. "I told you the movers would be here within the hour and you decide to give them a show?"

"I'm sorry Mitch I wasn't thinking," I sputter as I reach for my clothes.

He jerks back his hand. "So is this how it is Mia? Do you behave like this all the time? Is this how you met your boyfriend…behaving like a little whore?"

"How dare you," I spit through gritted teeth. "I-"

"You need to grow-up Mia," he says, cutting me off. "You're pregnant now and soon to be married. You need to start acting like a wife and a mother to be. You've sowed your wild oats and need to settle down now. I will do anything for you Mia, but you must act appropriately."

"What does that mean?" I ask in barely contained fury. "I wanted to go for a swim and lost track of the time. I wanted you to join me, but you left me here alone. You have no spontaneity at all Mitch and you want to make me dull just like you. Well, I won't have it. You're not changing me and I won't marry a man who sees me as nothing more than a whore!"

I swim to the shallow end of the pool and he follows me nervously. I grasp the rail and rise out of the water. Mitch holds up my clothes in a futile attempt to cover me as he looks back toward the house.

"What, worried they might be peeking?" I ask.

"Okay Mia, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said those things…I just wasn't expecting you to do this." He grabs my arm, pulling me into his chest. He delivers a kiss to my cheek, squeezes me tight, releases, and then pulls my shirt over my head. I jerk my pants from him and slip them over my hips. He grasps my wrist, but I twist free and storm into the house.

Mitch's footsteps echo behind me. He grabs my arm, turning me around to face him. "Look Mia, I told you I'm sorry."

"You keep having these outbursts Mitch…it's like you don't fully approve of me," I whisper, holding back the tears building in my eyes.

"I love you Mia…I'm jealous and need to work on it. I don't want any other man to see you naked, touch you…make love to you." He pulls me into his chest with a roughness that excites me. "I want you all to myself. Is that so bad?"

I shake my head, feeling remorseful for my past infidelities. "I'm sorry Mitch. I know I hurt you and it's my fault you're this way. I promise to be more thoughtful, but you have to know that that I love you."

"I do," he says, the tone of his voice doing little to conceal his doubts.

The doorbell rings, startling me. Mitch smiles, releases his grip on me and turns to the door. I race off to the kitchen to put away the groceries, hoping to avoid contact with the movers.

After several hours the movers finish and leave. Mitch insists on preparing dinner for us, and as I sit at the table, looking out the large glass doors, I think about how lucky I am to have a man like him.

He serves the food like a dutiful spouse, and even though it smells delicious, my appetite wanes and I force myself to eat.

"Everything okay Mia?" he asks as he reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," I whisper, then yawn.

"Mia," he says, pauses, then squeezes my hand. "I'm sorry about today. You're still young and I'm ten years older than you. We're just at different stages in our lives, but I want to make this work." His expression turns severe and his eyes sparkle with love.

"I understand," I say, "You're ready for a family and, well, I'm not. I never planned for a pregnancy, not so soon in anyway. I'm grateful you're in my life, and still love me despite my lack of good judgment."

"I do love you Mia and I want to marry you, the sooner the better."

"Me too," I eke out, shifting in my seat as inexplicable tendrils of panic take hold of me.

I stand at the door, a smile plastered to my face, my heart pounding in my ears. I wipe my hands on my pant legs, then raise my arms, just enough to allow air to circulate and dry the sweat I feel growing in my pits.

Mitch rings the doorbell and I jump at the shrill bark of a little dog. There is scratching at the door and a distant voice calls out. "Oh, I'm coming, now be quiet Pepite."

I bounce from foot to foot and it feels likes hours pass before the door creaks open.

"Hello dear," says a graying haired lady, her head bobbing with a nervous tick. "This must be Mia, the girl you told me about."

"It is mother," he says as he reaches out, grabbing her arm, steadying her shaky legs.

"It's very nice to meet you," I say with a smile and extend my hand.

"Hug me dear," she says in a cracked voice, "You're going to be family soon…I hear." She winks and takes a tiny step forward.

I wrap an arm around her frail shoulder, the plush feel of her sweater soft against my sweaty palm.

She invites us into the house, and as we walk to the living room, the little dog trots along side me, the sound of its nails reverberating throughout.

I take a seat at the edge of a plastic covered sofa, and the little dog jumps into my lap. Mitch sits next to me and begins to rub the dog's head. His mother plants herself across from me in a large leather chair.

"Oh I see Pepite likes you," she says as she clasps her hands in delight.

"What an interesting name, what does it mean?" I ask.

"It's French for little nugget of gold," she returns, "Perfect for a toy Poodle."

I nod my head in agreement.

"Joan, my in home aide, is out at the moment, so I apologize for not having anything to offer, but Mitch can you be a dear and see what you can whip up in the kitchen? Your poor old mother can't move around like she used to." Her face softens into a pitiful expression.

Mitch rises from the sofa, hesitates, then leaves the room.

"You've a lovely home Mrs. Maynard," I say, feeling my throat tighten under her penetrating stare. I nervously eye small porcelain figures of poodles that adorn the coffee table, oddly placed off to the side.

"Please call me Ella," she says.

Her gaze deepens and she leans forward. "I'm so glad Mitch finally found someone…After the last one I thought he'd never find love again."

"Uh, the girl from Berkeley?" I ask, immediately angry at myself for being so nosey.

"Oh yes," she whispers, then glances back toward the kitchen. "She broke his heart you know, and the lies-"

I lean forward, alert, ready to hang on her every word when I am startled by Mitch's sudden entrance.

"I could only find water," says Mitch, then hands me a bottle.

He sits close to me, the warmth of his leg penetrating my clothes. From the corner of my eye I see him give his mother a stern look.

Ella's smile leaves her face and she casts her eyes down. Seconds later she lifts her head, her smile having returned.

"I hear you're with child," she says.

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Mother, you're embarrassing Mia," says Mitch in a low tone.

"I'm sorry dear," says Ella, "I'm delighted to finally have a grandchild. Don't be embarrassed."

I twist open my water bottle and take a gulp, praying it slides down easily, and it does.

Pepite jumps to the floor and begins to pace in a circle and whine.

"Mitch, be a dear and let Pepite out," says his mother.

Mitch obeys, once again leaving us alone.

I try to formulate the right, prying words in my head, but before I can speak Ella says, "You're innocent, young, submissive, and perfect for Mitch. The other girl wanted to be independent, have a career, and can you believe she didn't even want children!" She spins a finger above her head in a childish manner, indicating the craziness of it all.

I gulp hard. "What happened?"

"A restraining order's what happened," she asserts, "He gave so much of himself to her and he's such a good boy." She shakes her head, rests back into her chair and releases a disgusted sigh.

I fall back into the comforting embrace of the sofa and do not even notice when Mitch returns. The rest of the afternoon seems to whiz by as I sit, deep in thought, panic filling my chest. Maintaining casual conversation becomes a torturous task and all I can think about is Logan and how much I loved him. Then my mind drifts to Jake, and I wonder if he could fill my need for male companionship. Then I scold myself, I am pregnant, what man wants to take on the responsibility of a child that is not even his? A man with issues would, a man like Mitch. And why would Jake want me anyway? Our relationship was nothing more than a casual affair. He's younger than me, immature, most likely not willing to play dad to a bastard child. Bastard child - how could I think such a thing?

We finally leave and I am impressed with my ability to push through all the politeness on automatic, hopefully not giving my distracted self away.

"Everything alright Mia?" asks Mitch as he throws the car in reverse.

"Yeah, why" I respond defensively, then realizing my mistake, turn away and stare out the window.

"You seemed a little unfocused. I'm sorry I should've warned you about my mother. She suffers from mild dementia. She makes up stories."

"Like a restraining order against you?" I blurt.

Mitch chuckles. "Oh, is she telling that one again? She mixes up my situations with her own."

I turn to him with questioning eyes.

"She had a restraining order against my father Mia, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I do," I say, trying to believe the sincerity of his words. "What exactly happened with that woman anyway?"

"She met an exchange student from Brazil, dropped out of school and went back to Brazil with him."

"Wow, just like that?" I ask and Mitch nods his head. "I'm sorry Mitch, that's a real shitty thing to do."

"It is Mia, but I guess I was boring to her, just like I'm boring to you." His knuckles turn white as he clenches the steering wheel.

I reach over, placing a hand on his thigh. "I'm sorry Mitch; we're going to fight sometimes. I'm mature enough to know that. And sometimes we're going to say things to each other we don't mean."

Mitch presses a warm palm a top my hand. "I love you Mia, more than you'll ever know."

I have difficulty buttoning my uniform jacket, my baby bump just big enough to make my clothes fit tight.

'four and a half months to go,' I think as I turn from side to side, admiring my profile in the mirror.

"Mia I'm leaving," calls Mitch from the other room.

I run out into the foyer, fling my arms over his shoulders and kiss him. "Mitch I can't wait until we're married."

"Next week my love, are you nervous?" he jokes.

"Just a little, I haven't see my family in so long, it's going to be awkward." I stare past Mitch and imagine my mother and sister's scowling faces. The clicking of their tongues jolts my brain, making me shake my head and return my gaze to Mitch, his smiling face instantly comforting me.

"We'll get through it," he says playfully, then kisses my forehead.

I release my hold on him, fold an arm around my midsection and bend.

Mitch rubs a gentle hand up and down my back. "You okay Mia?"

"It'll pass," I say, "The morning sickness is actually getting better and should go away soon, at least that what the doctor says."

He grabs my arms and gives me a little jerk. "Promise me you'll come home if you don't feel better."

"I will," I say.

Mitch checks his watch, grabs his jacket and briefcase and rushes out the door. I follow behind.

I make it to the base and the day drags on as I sit at my desk, trying not to be bored or sick. Sitting so long makes my legs cramp and I am relieved when my phone rings, using that as an excuse to step outside the office.

I look at the phone's screen, which sets my heart racing, accelerating it at each ring, until the beat becomes a painful pounding. I try to resist answering; things with Mitch have been going well, there have been no fights and plenty of time together, but my heart aches for something more, something I am not getting from Mitch. My mind races to Logan, he could be a monster at times, but he was himself. Mitch is everything I want him to be, or at least he tries to be.

Quickly, I swipe the phone and say, "Hello?"

"Hey Mia, good news," says Jake.

I hesitate, then ask, "What?"

"I got the transfer, but I won't be able to start for a few more months."

"Oh, that's too bad," I say, pushing images of him making love to me out of my mind.

"But I have some leave coming up and thought I'd visit you. You living on base?" his voice resonates with a childish excitement.

"Well, not exactly," I sputter. "Um, I'm getting married you know."

"Ah right, you live with him, right?" he says, not sounding the least bit deterred by the situation. "So can you sneak out for a little?"

Even though I have told Jake our relationship is built on nothing more than sex, I feel strangely put off by his lack of jealousy, lack of desire to have me all to himself.

"Well, there's more to it," I say, "I'm pregnant."

The phone falls silent.

I release a sigh, thinking this has finally turned him off.

"How pregnant are you?" he practically whispers.

"Four and a half months."

"Can you still have sex while pregnant?" he asks with an uplifted tone.

"Of course I can," I say, immediately wishing I could take back my words.

"Cool, I've never had sex with a pregnant woman before." A giggle escapes him.

"Look Jake, I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant now, but I don't want to sneak around anymore," I say with determination.

"So should I change my plans Mia, you don't want to see me?" his returns disappointedly.

I begin to chew the insides of my mouth. My hormones want to say yes, but instead I push out an emotionless no.

"Damn, okay, well if you change your mind call me."

"Of course," I return as I hit the end call button, then delete his number from my contacts.

Jake is not Logan and I am proud of myself for realizing that and letting go. I am determined more than ever to spend the rest of my life with Mitch. He is kind, gentle and very tender – as long as I do not disappoint him.

As much as I try to ignore my emotions, the familiar suffocation of Ben shrouds over me, and I worry that once I marry Mitch the good guy act with fade away, along with what remains of my self-esteem. But alone and with a child on the way, I feel I have no choice but to settle.

The wedding day arrives sooner than I had hoped. I stare out the sliding glass doors at the patio, speckled with tables adorned with lacey cloths and small burning candle center pieces. Bouquets of flowers sit atop pedestals, making a fairy tale visage. My heart sinks as my eyes drift to the custom built gazebo Mitch had installed yesterday. It's where we will take our vows. A single tear falls down my cheek, tickling me, yet I refuse to wipe it away. Rubbing my belly I will the panic the rises inside to me to go away. The huge heart centerpiece propped up on a stand at the back of the altar makes me cry. It's the most beautiful floral arrangement I have ever seen, only it is lacking one key element – roses. Instead, it is composed of the largest, most gorgeous carnations, but it's not what I wanted. How can I marry a man who does not even know my favorite flower? Even Ben knows I love roses.

The doorbell rings, startling me from my thoughts. I shake the negative feelings away, wipe away the tear and race to the door. I stand on my tippy-toes and look through the peep hole -my heart clamps as if seized by a vice. I lower on my heels, rest my back against the door and clutch my chest, willing the pain to subside. I am not ready to face them, not after all these years, after all the bad blood.

"Who is it Mia?" calls out Mitch as he enters the room.

My breath catches in my throat. "It's them…my sister and mother."

Mitch gently pushes me aside in a manner as if I am acting silly. I spring forward and grab the door handle, and turn to him with pleading eyes.

"You don't understand Mitch…they are terrible people…I hate to say it, but they are."

"Mia, you're just nervous. I'm sure they're happy to be here and see you."

I step away, positioning myself behind the door as he swings it open.

A smile spreads across his face as he extends his hand. "Hello, you must be Mia's mother and sister."

A silly giggle escapes my mother. "Oh hello, are you Mitch, the man my daughter's marrying?"

"Yes, please come in." He swings the door wide open and makes a sweeping motion with his arm.

I take a deep breath, and then try to suck in my belly.

"Hello, Mia," says my mother.

My sister stands beside her and leers at me with small beady eyes, like a buzzard about to circle its prey. Her gaze falls from my face to my belly, her expressionless mouth morphing into an evil grin.

She peels her eyes away from me, turns on her heel and looks around the house. "You have a nice place here, Mitch," she says, making emphasis on his name.

"Thank you; please come in a have a seat while I get some drinks. Will water be okay?" he asks.

"Oh yeah," says my mother, and again the silly giggle.

Katie and mom sit together on the love seat in the living room, perched at the edge, shoulders touching.

My mother looks back in the direction Mitch went, then turns to me, leans forward and whispers, "Are you pregnant?" Her eyes glint with delight.

"Yes mom I am," I say, the first tingles of anger beginning to rise inside me.

"So that explains the hasty wedding," interjects my sister as the evil grin on her face grows larger.

"Mitch and I planned on marrying before I got pregnant," I say with a huff.

"So what happened to what's his name," says my mom, barely able to contain her delight. She turns to Katie and continues. "What was his name Katie?"

"Um, I believe it was Ben, right Mia?" She shrugs her shoulders and throws up her hands.

"Yeah well, he died," I say.

They both gasp at the same time.

"Really what happened?" asks Katie.

"Car accident," I say, and before they can speak I continue, "Mitch was a partner in his law firm and we fell in love. He was there for me when I was down." I emphasize the 'He'.

The two exchange furtive looks and I wonder if they see through my lie. I spring to my feet and excuse myself to help Mitch. Racing toward the kitchen I catch him just as he is about to enter the room. I grab his arm hard and direct him back into the kitchen.

"They are starting Mitch, please don't leave me alone with them," I demand, my lower lids beginning to pool with tears. "I told them Ben died and you got me through it. Please let's not talk about everything that has happened."

"I think you're being silly Mia, but if that's what you want then ok…anything for you."

"Thank you," I say, then push the tears from my eyes with the palms of my hands.

We return to the room and Mitch and I sit close on the sofa. I stare at him in total amazement as he controls the conversation. My mother loosens up a little, becoming lively, friendly even. After several minutes Katie, who has been quiet the entire time, nudges her as if to awaken the evil inside.

My mother jumps and her face twists into a wicked grin. "So, how did Mia manage to catch a guy like you? She got pregnant I see, but these days that's not enough to trap a man." She exchanges a look with Katie.

I shift in my seat and start to open my mouth when Mitch places a hand on my thigh, immediately comforting me. I fall into his side, grab his hand and squeeze.

"With all due respect Mrs. Barton, Mia is a wonderful person. She's kind, sensitive, smart and beautiful, and if you cannot treat her with the respect she deserves in our home then I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

I contain the giggle that rises inside me as I watch my mother's mouth fall agape and her eyes grow wide.

"We don't have to put up with this," rages Katie, her face contorting into a scowl. "Come mother, let's leave."

"Yes, my, we're obviously not welcome here," says my mother as she springs to her feet, then roughly smoothes the wrinkles from her skirt. "I have a gift for you in the car…I'll mail it to you."

She turns, nose in the air and follows Katie to the door.

"Don't bother Mother," I call after her as she leaves, slamming the door.

Mitch folds me into his arms and holds me tight as I cry.

"Mia, I'm so sorry, was I too harsh?" He lifts my face and stares deep into my eyes.

"Not at all, I told you they're terrible people. I don't know why I invited them. I guess I was hoping they'd be happy for me for once." I take a deep breath, rub my nose with my sleeve and start to laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"Just it must be killing them that I've met someone like you. You're so perfect Mitch." Suddenly guilt floods through me as I recall all the negative thoughts I had moments earlier.

He pulls me into his chest and begins to caress my hair. I want to make love to him one last time before the wedding, but the doorbell rings and he springs from the sofa, releasing me. The warmth of his touch lingers, making me tingle inside.

"Must be the first of my family," he says delightedly as he rushes to the door, like an excited child.

I slowly rise, straighten my clothes and follow him.

"Bob, I'm glad you made it," says Mitch, smiling large as he shuffles in a man, a woman, who I presume to be his wife, and two children.

He directs his attention to a girl who looks to be around ten years old. "My how big you've gotten Jodie."

I face the family and extend a hand toward the woman. "I'm Mia, it's so nice to meet you."

The woman clasps my hand and gives it a firm shake. "I'm Rose and this is Bob, my husband and our three children. Jodie, she's nine, the little monster running in circles is Jeff, he's seven and my only quiet one, Tiffany, she's twelve."

"What beautiful children you have," I say as I try to place names to faces.

"Mom, mom can we look at the pool!" yells Jodie.

"Go ahead," says Mitch.

"Okay kids, I'm coming," says Rose. She smiles and nods, then walks toward the large sliding glass doors leading to the pool.

"Mia, Bob is my cousin. His brother should be here soon along with my Uncle and Mom. They're coming together."

I follow the men into the living room and sit quietly as they reminisce over the days when Mitch was a small boy. Even though I want to learn everything there is to know about Mitch, I find myself distracted by the giggles of the children outside and imagine my own playing gleefully without a care in the world.

I sigh heavily, relieved that Mitch's family is kind. It's comforting that I will be raising my child in a warm and supportive environment.

"The minister is here," calls out Mitch, breaking me from my thoughts.

A small man in full ceremonial robes shuffles into the house, and after brief introductions he goes outside to the gazebo to prepare for the wedding.

"Where is the rest of your family?" I ask Mitch, then the doorbell rings.

Mitch races away from me, answers the door, and invites in the remaining members of the family. Ella immediately hobbles toward me, her checks ruddy and eyes sparkling.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry we're late…it's my entire fault. I was looking for Mitch's christening gown. It's in a box of his belongings."

Ella clasps his hands together and turns to face the family, everyone having now gathered together in the living room.

"Matt, can you bring in the box of Mitch's things; it's much too heavy for me." She pauses, and continues with a trembling voice, "I'd like for the baby to wear the same Christening gown Mitch wore…and I want to know…is it a boy or a girl?"

Mitch and I look at each other and start to laugh.

"We don't know yet," he says. "The baby is shy and covers its private parts. Hopefully we'll know next month."

A collective laugh echoes throughout the house. The warmth of the people around me nearly brings me to tears. Just as I start to surrender to my overwhelming emotions Ella grabs my arm and gently tugs me toward the master bedroom. I wrap my hand around hers and hold her steady.

"My dear you need to get into your dress."

I look at my watch and my heart begins to race as I realize I have very little time to get ready. Just as I got to close the doors, Matt pushes on the door and pokes in his head.

"Ella, this box is heavy. Where you want it?" he wheezes.

"Oh I don't know," she says as she grasps her graying head and begins to release muffled moans.

"Let's just put it in a closet in one of the spare rooms," I suggest as I race out the door and show Matt to the baby's room.

With some effort Matt hoists the box and places it on the top shelf of the closet. He wipes away the perspiration from his forehead, turns to me and says, "I'm Matt, I'm sorry we weren't properly introduced," he says.

"I'm Mia."

There is a moment of silence as we exchange uncomfortable smiles, then he says, "I'm so glad Mitch is getting married. You make a beautiful couple...and after all he's been through."

His eyes penetrate me, then he shakes his head.

"I know, his rough relationship with his father," I say, reading Matt. "The crime, and then his father being in prison."

"Mitch was a troubled kid, no doubt about that," he says, casting his eyes down and puffing his checks as he releases his breath like a quickly deflating balloon. "But with therapy and medication, he has turned around. I mean just look at this place." He lifts his head and gazes around the room, then focuses back on me. "It's a beautiful house, and he's an excellent attorney. I'm just glad he finally has someone."

I stare back at Matt, speechless. Therapy? Medication? I open my mouth to ask, but Ella barges into the room, out of breath and insisting I get dressed now.

She hustles me off, and though I want to resist, her near hysterics stops me.

I rush to the master bath and pull on my dress. The taffeta hem falls to my ankles and the midsection pulls in just enough to allow room for the baby bump. As I twist the long, lacey sleeves into place a small laugh escapes me. I can hear my mother and sister giggling and commenting on how inappropriate it is for me to be wearing white.

I shake them from my head, relieved that no one has asked me about my family. My eyes shift up and I admire myself in the mirror. My cheeks are full and ruddy, the pregnancy having fattened my face nicely.

There is a gentle knock on the door. "Everything okay dear?" asks Ella, her voice anxious.

"Fine," I call out, and then enter the room.

Ella's hands rise to her mouth as a gasp escapes her. "You're so beautiful," she says, then grabs my shoulders and directs me to a chair.

"I used to be a hairdresser," she says as she gaily pulls up my locks and twists.

I watch in awe as she transforms my lifeless hair into a gorgeous loose fitting bun, leaving out wisps of hair that frame my face perfectly.

When she finishes I thank her and take a minute to stare at my reflection. "Oh."

"What is it?" asks Ella as she rubs my shoulder, her eyes fraught with concern.

"The baby kicked," I say as I rub my belly.

Ella claps her hands together and squeals in delight. "Oh such wonderful news," she says, then her hand flies to her mouth as if suddenly struck by a thought, "but let's not tell anyone until after the wedding."

I nod my head, then rise from my seat and follow Ella into the living room.

Ella opens the sliding glass doors, and takes small childlike footsteps as she finds her place on the patio. A wave of heat rushes over me, instantly comforting the cold chill that rises up from the floor into my bones. The music commences and I start to walk, being mindful to take a pause after each step. My eyes begin to water and I wish I had a veil to cover my face. The baby kicks again and I wonder if it's a sign, a sign to marry Mitch or a warning not to.