CHAPTER XXVIII

THE TWO SENORAS.

While Captain Tiago was fighting his lasak against the bulik,

Dona Victorina took a walk through the town, with the intention of

seeing the condition of the indolent natives, and of their houses

and fields. She had dressed as elegantly as she could, putting all

her ribbons and flowers on her silk gown, in order to impress the

provincials, and make them see how great a distance was between

them and her sacred person. Giving her arm to her lame husband, she

fluttered through the streets of the town, among the stupefied and

wondering inhabitants. Cousin Linares had remained in the house.

"What ugly houses these natives have," began Dona Victorina, making a

grimace. "I don't know how they can live there: one must be a native

to do it. They meet us and don't uncover their heads! Hit them over

the head as the curates and tenientes of the Guardia Civil do when

they don't take off their hats. Teach them manners."

"And if they hit me?" asked Dr. de Espadana.

"Aren't you a man?"

"Bu-bu-but, I am la-la-lame."

Dona Victorina was becoming bad-humored. The streets were not paved,

and the train of her gown was covered with dust. Besides, they met many

young women, who, on passing her, cast down their eyes and did not

admire her lavish dress as they should have done. Sinang's coachman,

who was driving her and her cousin in an elegant carriage, had the

impudence to call out tabi [20] to them in such a warning voice

that she had to get out of the way, and was only able to exclaim,

"Look at that brute of a coachman! I am going to tell his master that

he should educate his servants better!"

"Let us go back to the house," she ordered her husband.

He, fearing that there was going to be a storm, turned on his heels

and obeyed the command.

They met the alferez on the way back and greeted him. He increased

the discontent of Dona Victorina, for he not only failed to compliment

her on her dress, but surveyed it almost with a mocking manner.

"You ought not to extend your hand to a simple alferez," said she

to her husband as soon as they were some distance away. "He scarcely

touches his helmet, and you take off your hat. You don't know how to

maintain your rank."

"He is ch-ch-chief here!"

"And what does that matter to us? Are we, perchance, natives?"

"You are right," replied he, not wishing to quarrel.

They passed by the officer's house. Dona Consolacion was in the window,

as usual, dressed in her flannel outfit and smoking her cigar. As

the house was rather low, they could see each other as they passed,

and Dona Victorina could distinguish her very well. The Muse of the

Guardia Civil examined her with tranquillity from head to foot, and,

afterward, sticking out her lower lip, spit, turning her face to the

other side. That put an end to Dona Victorina's patience, and, leaving

her husband without any support, she squared herself in front of the

alfereza, trembling with rage, and unable to speak. Dona Consolacion

turned her head slowly, looked her over again, and then spit again,

but with still greater disdain.

"What is the matter with you, Dona?" said the alfereza.

"Can you tell me, Senora, why you look at me so? Are you envious?" Dona

Victorina finally succeeded in saying.

"I envious of you?" said the Medusa with scorn. "O, yes! I envy

those curls."

"Come, wife!" said the doctor. "Do-don't take no-no-notice of her!"

"Let me give this shameless common person a lesson!" replied the woman,

giving her husband a push. He nearly fell to the ground. Turning to

Dona Consolacion, she continued:

"Look how you treat me! Don't think that I am a provincial, or a

soldiers' querida! In my house in Manila alferezas never are allowed

to come in. They wait at the door."

"Oh-oh! Most Excellent Senora! Alferezas don't enter, but invalids

like that out there. Ha, ha, ha!"

If it hadn't been for all the paint on her face, one could have seen

Dona Victorina blush. She wanted to throw herself upon her enemy,

but the sentry stopped her. In the meantime, the street was filling

up with curious people.

"Listen! I lower myself talking with you. People of categoria ... Do

you want my clothes to wash? I will pay you well. Do you think that

I don't know that you are a washerwoman?"

Dona Consolacion became furious. The reference to her being a

washerwoman wounded her.

"Do you think that we do not know what you are? Get out! My husband has

already told me. Senora, I, at least, have not belonged to more than

one man, but you? One must be pretty hard up to take the leavings."

This shot struck Dona Victorina square in the breast. She rolled up

her sleeves, clenched her fists, and, gnashing her teeth, began:

"Come down here, you nasty old thing, that I may smash your filthy

mouth."

The Medusa disappeared quickly from the window, but was soon seen

coming down the stairs on a run, swinging her husband's whip.

Don Tiburcio interposed, pleading with them, but they would have come

to blows if the alferez had not arrived.

"But, senoras!... Don Tiburcio!"

"Teach your woman better; buy her better clothes. If you haven't

the money, rob the people. You have your soldiers for that!" shouted

Dona Victorina.

"Senora," said the alferez furiously. "Thank yourself that I don't

forget that you are a woman; for if you were not, I would kick you

to pieces, with all your curls and ribbons."

"Se-se-senor al-alferez!" said Don Tiburcio.

"Go ahead! Kill us! You don't wear big enough trousers, you quack."

And so the battle waged: words, gestures, cries, insults, and

injuries. They brought out all the nasty things they could think of,

all four speaking at the same time, and, saying so many things and

bringing to light so many truths, that we will not relate here all

that was said. The people who had gathered around to satisfy their

curiosity, if they understood all the remarks, must have enjoyed

themselves not a little. They were all waiting to see them come to

blows. Unfortunately for the spectators, the curate came along and

pacified them.

"Senoras! senoras! What a shame. Senor alferez."

"What are you meddling in these matters for, you hypocrite, you

Carlist?"

"Don Tiburcio, take away your wife! Senora, hold your tongue!"

"Tell that to those robbers of the poor!"

Finally, the dictionary of epithets was exhausted. The review of the

disgraces of each couple was ended, and little by little they were

separated, threatening and insulting each other. Father Salvi kept

going from one side to the other, adding life to the scene.

"This very day we will go to Manila and we will present ourselves

to the Governor General," said Dona Victorina, in fury to her

husband. "You are not a man. It is a shame that you spend money

for trousers."

"B-b-but, wife, and the Guardia Civil? I-I-am lame."

"You must challenge him to a duel with pistol or sword or, or-"

And Dona Victorina looked at his false teeth.

"Daughter, I never have used-"

Dona Victorina did not let him finish. With a sublime movement she

jerked out his false teeth in the middle of the street, and throwing

them to the ground stepped on them. He, half crying, and she sputtering

away, arrived at the house. At that time, Linares was talking with

Maria Clara, Sinang, and Victoria, and, as he knew nothing about the

quarrel, the sudden arrival of his cousins gave him a shock. Maria

Clara was lying on a sofa among pillows and blankets, and was not a

little surprised at the doctor's new physiognomy.

"Cousin," said Dona Victorina, "you have got to challenge the alferez

immediately to a duel, or-"

"And why? what for?" asked Linares, surprised.

"You challenge him right off, or I will tell them all who you are."

"But, Dona Victorina!"

The three young women looked at one another.

"The alferez has insulted us. The old witch came down with her whip,

and that thing there allowed it all. A man!"

"Pshaw!" said Sinang. "They have been fighting and we haven't seen it."

"The alferez has broken the doctor's teeth," added Victoria.

"This very day we are going to Manila. You stay here to challenge

him to a duel, and, if you don't, I'll tell Don Santiago that all

that you have told him is a lie. I will tell him-"

"But, Dona Victorina! Dona Victorina!" interrupted Linares, pale

and going closer to her. "You keep quiet. Don't make me call to

mind"-and he added in a low voice-"Don't be imprudent, especially

just now."

Just at that time, when this was going on, Captain Tiago arrived home

from the cock-pit. He was downhearted. He had lost his lasak.

But Dona Victorina did not give him much time to sigh. In a few

words, and with many insults, she related to him what had passed,

she, of course, trying to put herself in a good light.

"Linares is going to challenge him. Do you hear? If he don't, I won't

let him marry your daughter. Don't you permit it. If he has no courage,

he does not merit Clarita."

"Then you are going to marry this gentleman?" asked Sinang, with her

jolly eyes full of tears. "I knew that you were discreet, but I did

not think you so fickle."

Maria Clara, pale as wax, raising herself half up, looked at her father

with frightened eyes, and then at Dona Victorina and Linares. The

latter turned red in the face, Captain Tiago looked down, and the

senora added:

"Clarita, bear it in mind, and never marry a man who does not wear

trousers. You expose yourself to insults like a dog, if you do."

But the young maiden did not reply and said to her friends:

"Take me to my room, for I cannot go alone."

They helped her to her feet, and, leaning her marble-like head on

pretty Sinang's shoulder, and, with the arms of her friend around

her waist, she went to her bedroom.

That night the doctor and his wife collected their things together,

submitted their account to Captain Tiago-which amounted to several

thousand pesos-and very early on the following day, left for Manila

in the Captain's carriage. To timid Linares they intrusted the role

of the avenger.